The
general attitude of the house had gone downhill in the past weeks.
Jack had nearly been caught and arrested twice, but had managed to
escape both times using Sparrow wit and wisdom, which Anamaria had
once labeled 'Absolute Luck.'
Elizabeth was worn out from
trying to put together the one hundredth issue of Fashion Update and
had experienced more problems than anything. Her secretary had run
off with her fiancée to get married, her assistant editor was
clueless, and the layout room kept losing the project. The absence of
her nightly massages from her doctor boyfriend didn't help either.
Then again, she was pretty sure she didn't want the mutated flu Will
had caught from the hospital either. Everyone was making sure to give
him more than enough room, no one eager to catch it.
Anamaria
had been bitten by a seven year old bad enough to require stitches
and she had sworn off working with children again. The next day she
went to work to find that next week had her assigned in the
children's ward upstairs.
Gibbs had broken up more bar fights
in the past week than he had his entire tavern career. One of the
combatants even managed to give him a black eye.
On top of
all of that, they had to deal with Cotton's relentless pouting about
his chair's sudden lack of mobility. Barbossa had come to realize
that living in the trophy wasn't so bad; except for the time Whelp
had gotten a hold of him and started chewing on the head of the
little trophy man.
Even the puppy seemed to be miserable,
except when Jack or Will was around. He was the only occupant of the
house that didn't fear the strange virus Will had and often kept the
blacksmith company during the day while everyone was at work. Jack
had sworn that by now the dog was well versed in every anime Will
owned, to which Will protested that he had nothing else to do.
Elizabeth immediately debunked that statement.
"I came
home from work yesterday and you were sitting up at the desk
studying, not even watching the TV. You study who knows how many
hours a day!" Elizabeth protested.
"I study that
many hours a day so that when I take a test, I can ace it..."
Will grumbled back.
"Ah...wait, deja vu." Jack said
suddenly. "Haven't we had this conversation before?"
"Something
like it. Except I believe it was about how much I practiced with a
sword."
"Right, right." Jack said and picked up
the paper again as Elizabeth pointed to the seat at the table.
"If
you sit down and actually relax, I'll make you some soup."
Elizabeth said. "And a nice cup of hot chocol..." She
didn't need to finish as Will quickly slid into his seat, smiling up
at her. "You're too easy." She told him, leaning down to
kiss his cheek but catching herself as she remembered that he was
indeed sick.
"You want him to do anything, all you have
to do is mention making cookies." Anamaria interjected
ironically. She snatched the Life section of the newspaper from the
pile in front of Jack and flipped it open.
"I'm not that
bad and only for Elizabeth's cookies." He commented. Whelp came
padding into the kitchen and Will reached down to pick him up.
Instead the puppy dropped a small object by his foot. Will picked it
up, one eyebrow rising.
"Jack, was that trophy cheap
plastic?" He asked. Jack glanced at him over the edge of the
paper.
"Aye, it was. Why?" Will held up the object,
which happened to be the trophy man's head.
"I think
Whelp might be teething." He replied. Jack set the paper down,
leaning back in his chair. A moment passed before he burst out
laughing.
"I've got to see this." He said, getting
up from his seat and disappearing into the living room. A moment
later he came back with the trophy, which as indeed headless. Ragged
puppy teeth marks could be seen around the neck of the trophy.
"Let
me die..." The trophy moaned as Jack set it on the
table.
"Mate, you're already dead." Jack interjected
helpfully. "Elizabeth, love, would you mind handing me the duct
tape please?" Elizabeth complied, standing behind him as Jack
glanced over at Will. "Dr. Turner, would you like the pleasure
of stitching up the patient?" He asked.
"With
pleasure. Just have strips of duct tape ready for me." He said
and pulled the trophy towards him.
"I never should've
committed mutiny. I realize now I was wrong to want revenge. This is
torture." The trophy moaned. The disembodied voice seemed
slightly creepier without the trophy having a head. "Why are you
even putting it back on? It's not as if it helps anything!"
"For
aesthetic purposes." Anamaria said. "It's quite scary to
hear a headless trophy talk."
"You mock me."
"Yes,
you're right. I mock you." She glanced back down to the paper in
front of her. Her smirk disappeared into a frown and she folded the
newspaper in half, and then in half again. Finally she held it up so
that she could see both the picture on the page and Will within her
view. "Well, that's interesting..." She said, raising an
eyebrow.
Elizabeth pulled herself away from the fridge and
came behind Anamaria's shoulder. "What is it?" She glanced
to the article. "Oh! Danny McCree is going to be going on tour!
I love his voice, and he isn't too bad on the eyes either..."
She glanced over to Will. "Sorry, I meant..."
He
shrugged. "I'm not the jealous type, Elizabeth. Besides, I look
too anyways, remember?" She chose not to answer that and went
back to the paper.
"I wonder why you find him easy on
the eyes. Take a look at the picture and then shift your eyes
slightly to the right..."
Elizabeth stood up, slapping a
hand over her mouth. "They're dead ringers of each other!"
She exclaimed. "That's hilarious."
Jack glanced at
Will as he handed him a strip of duct tape. Will took it and slowly
wound it around the neck of the trophy. "Do I want to know?"
"I
don't even want to know." Will said and smoothed down the tape.
"There, good as new."
"Oh thank you so ever
much." Barbossa muttered sarcastically and began his odd march
across the table. This got a few snickers from both men. Jack picked
up the paper again. He figured Barbossa had suffered enough abuse for
the day that he didn't need to find new ways of torturing him with a
salt shaker, though he filed away the idea for future
reference.
Barbossa finally made his way over to the woman,
figuring that they would be less abusive to him. Instead Anamaria got
annoyed by his repetitive thumps as the trophy base hit the table
while she and Elizabeth discussed the humor behind Will's
look-a-like. She picked up the trophy and set it down on the floor.
He only had a moment to panic before Whelp came charging at him and
tackled him. The head popped off again and rolled under the fridge.
"Now look what you've...EUGH!" The puppy's rough tongue
lapped up against the trophy. "Mangy dog slobber! Heeeelp!"
His
saving grace came from Gibbs, who bent over and picked him up, only
to toss him in the sink again. "Watch where you leave your toys,
Jack. Someone'll step on it and break..." He noticed the missing
head. "...it worse."
But Jack didn't hear him, too
engrossed in an ad on the page. His eyes scanned quickly over it,
searching for the fine print before he spoke up. "I think I've
got an idea." He said suddenly, glancing up from the paper.
"Be
afraid." Anamaria said. Will was still staring at the two women
in bewilderment, wondering what they were laughing over.
"What
is it, Jack?" Gibbs asked, pulling a bagel out of the freezer
and popping it in the microwave. Even Whelp poked his head from out
underneath the table top, looking up at Jack with an expectant
expression on his face.
"A vacation." He turned the
paper so that they could all see. The ad was from a travel agency,
promoting discounts on groups that were interested in going down to
the Caribbean for a week long vacation. "To our old stomping
grounds."
"But..." Gibbs raised his hand. "I
know we can all afford it with the money we've made and saved over
the years, but we can't just leave our jobs for a week..."
"You
can now. You all caught what William had. Elizabeth can take off
anytime she wants seeing as how she's basically self employed. No one
is going to want Anamaria working if she's sick and the same goes for
you. Will is already sick and once again, I'm self employed. And
Cotton...is Cotton. Enough said there." He held out his hands.
"Works for me."
Will smiled slightly. "I like
it." He said with a shrug. "I haven't been to the Caribbean
since we left it." Around the table, everyone began to slowly
consent. Jack got up, slapping his palms on the table.
"It's
settled then. Pack your bags because in two days, we're leaving for
the Caribbean for a week of paradise." He disappeared into the
living room.
From the kitchen sink, the trophy began
squalling. "Take me with you!"
-------
To
say Jack was eager to return to the Caribbean was an understatement.
The morning they were heading to the apartment, he hearded the whole
group out the door within an hour of giving them a wake up call.
Grumbling, they gathered together their bags, made one last check
around the house to make sure everything was locked up and turned
off, and then headed outside with luggage in tow. Most of the luggage
was loaded into Jack's car, but after doing so they found that it
would only hold two people. Jack and Anamaria took the car while the
rest piled into Will's jeep.
The trip went as planned, for
once, until they pulled into the long term parking lot. Jack pulled
into the parking spot and shut off the vehicle, getting out. Ana
raised an eyebrow at the quickness of his movements, but got out as
well.
"Now, if the rest would get here..." Jack
muttered, tapping on the car trunk. Ana frowned.
"I
thought they were right behind us when we pulled in." She said,
glancing down the row of cars. There was no sight of the battered
yellow jeep anywhere. Ana slid up on the trunk of the car, swinging
her legs idly. "Watch. That hunk of junk probably broke down
again." Jack gave her a dark look from behind his sunglasses.
"Don't say that. Then it'll happen." He groaned,
pulling out his cell phone and searching through the memory until he
found Elizabeth's number. He pressed the button to dial the number
and held it to his ear, waiting. After a moment, the phone began to
ring.
Ana glanced towards Jack. "Wait, I hear it too."
She glanced out into the row of cars again to see Will's jeep at the
end, with only Cotton inside. It was still moving somehow too. Jack
let the phone keep ringing, watching the jeep move towards
them.
"...you know, if you just got a decent vehicle, we
wouldn't be havin' these problems!" Gibbs protested between
breaths. Elizabeth grunted something that sounded much like an
agreement.
"You know what? Let's just get this in its
spot before we keel over and die..." Will groaned. Jack and
Anamaria sat back, quietly watching as the vehicle slowly moved past
them. "Cotton, turn the wheel!" The old pirate jerked the
wheel to the left and the jeep crept into the spot. "See? We
still got here." Five pairs of eyes settled on him as he said
it. "Alright. So my vehicle is a piece of junk." He
groaned. Cotton got out and shuffled lazily away, leaving Will to put
the parking tag up in the window and lock the vehicle.
"Can
we go now? We're goin' to miss the flight." Jack
protested.
"The flight's not till five and it's only
noon." Ana told him, sliding off the trunk as he unlocked it.
"This is the airport we're talkin' about." Jack
told her, pulling out his luggage.
"Will? Could you help
me carry this?" Elizabeth asked. Ever the boyfriend wanting to
please, Will wandered over and glanced down at her
luggage.
"Elizabeth, you do know we're going for a week,
right? Not three years." She smiled and handed him a bag.
"I
know. This is what I need for a week. You should know this by now."
By the time they were done, Will resembled a pack mule. Jack waited
impatiently for them to finish before sending them towards the
terminal.
---------
"Mr. Sparrow, would you
please empty your pockets into the trey and then step through again?"
The security guard asked him. Jack gave him a look as he dumped
everything in the pockets of his jeans into the box. Anamaria
sprawled out in the chair, idly eating M&M's as she watched Jack
trying to work his way through customs and failing miserably to make
things go smoothly. Elizabeth was searching through her bag for
something to read, Gibbs was exploring the shops, and Cotton was busy
trying to get a feel by accidentally 'tripping' and falling into
women.
"Look, I don't have anything dangerous." Jack
protested, standing barefooted and without belt in front of the
security guard. She ignored him and grabbed the handheld metal
detector, scanning over his body. He rolled his eyes skyward and held
out his arms in compliance. The scan found nothing, leaving the
security guard confused.
"Must have been a glitch."
She explained as he pulled his boots back on, but gave him no
apology. Jack snatched up his belt and marched towards the chairs as
Will put his carry on bag on the belt and stepped through the
detector. No sound was made and he paused to watch his bag on the
monitor. The guard paused at the sight of the headless bowling trophy
and then glanced over his shoulder at the blacksmith.
"I
have anger issues and I rolled a bad frame." Will said,
completely deadpan. The guard raised an eyebrow and handed him his
bag back.
Jack was still grumbling about being searched when
Will arrived and set his bag down, unzipping it and pulling out the
trophy. "Just why do I have to carry this?" He asked.
"Because you lost rock, paper, scissors." Jack
replied. "Deal with it."
"It has no head! Do
you know how weird that looks?"
"Oh quit
your...wait, I've got another idea."
"Two in one
week! It's a miracle!"
"Shut up, Ana."
"Aye,
captain." She snickered and crumpled the bag in her hand. Jack
disappeared towards the shop.
A few moments later he arrived
with a box that looked suspiciously like a toy. It was in fact a toy,
a knock off Ken doll. Jack sat down on one of the seats and started
pulling open the box.
A little girl a few seats down perked up
as she saw Jack trying to open the box. Clutching her doll, she
scooted down towards him with a smile on her face. Jack noticed her
and gave her a small smile.
"Hello." She didn't
respond, just smiled happily back at him and raised the doll. Jack
nodded and finally extracted the doll from the box. "William,
bring that trophy over here."
Will caught sight of the
doll and burst out laughing. Barbossa caught sight of the doll and
started panicking.
"Yer not puttin' me in that! I'd
rather be headless!" He bellowed. The little girl's eyes grew
wide at the talking trophy, only being able to watch as Jack took the
two and slammed them together. There was a moment of silence before
the doll started moving its arms around, cursing.
"Oh,
this is goin' to be amusing." Jack said as he stared at the
blond doll in tennis whites. "We're goin' to have to give you a
beard and some pirate clothes and then you'll be as good as new."
He taunted.
"I'm a doll!" Barbossa shouted.
"But
you can walk."
"It doesn't matter if...wait, I can
walk?" Jack set him down on the floor. Barbossa took a few stiff
legged steps before attempting a run.
"Someone go get
dolly man before he gets stepped on." Will eagerly complied,
shoving Barbossa back into his backpack. Jack tossed the old trophy
into the garbage can. "There's that problem
solved."
-------
"Elizabeth?"
"Yes?"
"I
think I'm going to be sick." Elizabeth glanced over at Will,
watching as his face slowly became pale with a slight greenish
tint.
"Don't face this way." She said quickly,
pulling out the air sickness bag and shoving it towards him. He
quickly grabbed it and opened it, his head ducking down and the sound
of vomiting breaking the quiet of the cabin.
Jack adjusted his
headphones to block out the sounds of Will getting sick and resumed
his sleeping position. Gibbs was attempting to play Old Maid with
Anamaria, but it was occasionally interrupted as an attendant would
protest as Cotton's hand strayed.
A few rows back, Ana
noticed some girls staring at Will and whispering between themselves.
She took a card from Gibbs' hands and glanced over at them. "I
wonder what they're up to."
Gibbs glanced back as well,
and then plucked a card from Ana's grip. "Probably never saw
someone gettin' air sick before." He rolled his eyes.
"You're
probably right."
--------
Elizabeth kept Will's
arm over her shoulders as she headed out of the gate. He groaned,
still clutching at his stomach. She was pretty sure that there was
nothing left for him to throw up, but she kept the extra air sickness
box at hand.
"Just sit here and wait a moment."
Elizabeth told him, sitting him down on the edge of the baggage
claim. He nodded and lay back in the seat, closing his eyes.
"The
bags go round and round..." Ana sang quietly as she watched the
bags appear. Gibbs reached past her to snatch up his suitcase. As he
dragged it away, she kept watching. Suddenly she spotted her bag and
reached for it, just as Jack did. Her hand brushed against his and he
glanced over at her. A blush crept up her cheeks and she glanced
away, quickly pulling her bag after her. Jack smirked and glanced
over his shoulder at her, hefting his bag. He planned to follow after
her, but Elizabeth stood in his way.
"Could you help me
with my bags? Will's slightly out of commission at the moment."
Jack glanced behind her to see all her bags.
"I guess I
could..."
A shriek rang through the air. "It's Danny
McCree!"
Elizabeth's eyes grew wide. "On
no..."
"ELIZABETH!" Will's shout rang through
the airport as he saw the sudden mass of girls running towards him.
He pulled himself out of the seat but stopped as his stomach
threatened to make him heave again. Suddenly hands were reaching for
him, pads of paper and pens thrust at him.
"Danny, could
you sign an autograph for me?"
"I love your new
CD!"
"Can I hear you sing? I want to tell my friends
that I heard you sing live!"
Will fought the temptation
to scream in terror as they continued to crowd him. "I'm not who
you think I am! Really! My name is William Turner!" He told
them, holding his hands up. Some of the girls looked dissuaded by
this, but the others persisted, thinking that he was trying to throw
them off his trail.
Jack crossed his arms, standing beside
Elizabeth. "Should we let him suffer?"
"For a
little while. This is just too funny."
