A/N: Here we are for yet another chapter. I warn you there are spoilers for the manga, mainly the Salvage Arc and the last few chapters of the series. Aside from that, enjoy the chapter and all of it's melancholy...
9. Nevermore
Black Star never mentions the look of perpetual exhaustion in his friend's eyes or the way the grim reaper sighs in defeat when his face is buried in books. He doesn't bring up the meister's downcast expressions or the fact that his smiles have become all the more rare. The assassin's usual jokes are strained around the grim reaper, offered tentatively in the hopes that his friend will laugh at them, but he never does.
Black Star rests his chin on folded arms while he watches Kid pace back and forth before the old mirror in the Death Room. The death god is flipping through a book, devouring its words, stopping every so often to peer up at the ceiling before returning to the task at hand. Black Star thinks he's researching shinigami from ancient times, but he isn't sure. What he does know is that lunch has been over for fifteen minutes, and the invitation he'd offered Kid is now pointless since their friends have already returned to class.
He doesn't talk about the alarming amount of time Kid is absent from their little group. Being Death is hard work, Black Star and the others understand, but they all agree they saw the previous Lord Death more. When he's not in the Death Room, Kid is in the library, positioned on ladders while scanning book titles and balancing multiple volumes on a bent knee. If the shinigami is absent from school, he's at home, reading and re-reading while jotting down notes on old parchment.
Black Star has yet to bring up how worried everyone is and how they want to speak with their friend. Maka has tried, but Kid's mind is usually tending to other matters and he doesn't register the concern in his friend's voice. When he does, he'll present one of his smiles, the one laced with deep sorrow, and insist he is fine. When Maka relays this to the others, following it up with some false words of encouragement, Black Star resists muttering 'bull' under his breath.
Black Star never reminds Kid that he'd promised to help his friend create the perfect world. He doesn't offer up the memory of being in that cursed book with the splotch of ink and its pointless lectures about power. Although the assassin has ideas, he keeps them to himself, not wanting to assign Kid anymore work for fear the grim reaper will truly fold beneath the pressure. Instead, he sits quietly off to the side, rocking back and forth while Kid lights another candle to help him work.
It has become something of a ritual, Kid sitting at the desk in his room while Black Star perches in the windowsill like a foreboding omen. Almost like the raven in that story written by the Poe dude. Black Star never thinks to croak 'nevermore.' The first time didn't earn much of a reaction from Kid, so he highly doubts this time will be any different.
Originally, Black Star would visit Gallows Manor to hang out with his friend, but the reaper was always busy. Soon, the assassin would show up to bring ideas regarding Kid's perfect world, but upon seeing the tired, melancholic expression on his friend's face, Black Star shut all the ideas away. Now he visits the shinigami for the sake of their friendship. These moments were some of the few times he ever saw the other meister, though it wasn't like they conversed. Half of the time, Black Star was positive Kid didn't even notice him seated in the open window with his calculating stare and troubled, half-formed sentences.
Like now.
Black Star doesn't point out that Kid sighs a lot or looks increasingly downhearted. He doesn't talk about the rare moments anyone gets to see him, or how he's always lost from the conversation when they do. He doesn't offer any ideas or assistance because he doesn't want his friend to break. Instead, he watches and waits, silent and considerate, until Kid turns and notices him in the window. The shinigami looks confused, just as Black Star imagined he would, and the blue-haired meister leans against the window's wooden frame with a disappointed frown.
Can't you go back to being like a human? That was one of the things I liked about you.
He doesn't say this either. This thought simply echoes in his mind and waits for the moment to be heard, but it remains locked behind clenched teeth because Black Star doesn't want to hear the answer. He doesn't want to see his friend's look of pain and regret while being told why things can't go back to normal, not completely, anyway. The times from when they were younger, when they were idiots defeating kishin and collecting souls, are gone, and even though Black Star knows those moments won't return, he can't stand to hear them out loud.
Black Star focuses his troubled gaze on the darkness outside the window.
"Nevermore," he mumbles.
-/-\-|-/-\-
A/N: A happy chapter is on the way… at least I hope so. I have a few other chapters lying around, finished and unfinished, and just about all of them are grim. I show my love for characters by tormenting them. It's a harsh process...
