Disclaimer: I don't own anything like these awesome characters! especially Alice, but at least Stephenie Meyer does!

Hey everyone, here is the next chapter! apologies for not updating sooner but I went to my sisters in Birmingham (the one in England) I forced them to go watch New Moon with me!, so I went to see it again in the cinema , haha good times. Anyway enough of my babbling, enjoy this chapter, I hope it was worth the wait.


'All I Wanted Was You'

'Chapter 9: Awkward Walks'

(Bella's P.O.V)

I looked into his liquid gold captivating eyes. His features were emotionless, he never looked directly at me, he just looked at the floor. If I could have I would have walked up to him to make him look at me, but I couldn't even do that, I was confined to the uncomfortable seat of my wheelchair.

Why was he here? Edward doesn't care about me, he left me here, with a certain crazy ass red headed Vampire who wanted to kill me, if you ask me that sounded like throwing someone into a pit of lions with chunks of meat attached to them with a sign saying 'Come and get it'. Even though Alice said he still loved me, there is no way I could return those feelings, not any more that is, if he came back a couple of months ago I would have been stupid enough to accept him, because I thought the feelings I had for him were romantic love, even though they were meant for another.

Maybe in the future we could become friends, but at this moment in time I didn't want to be near him, especially when he knows about me and Alice, which is another reason why I wanted to talk to him, why was he so calm, Edward would never be calm about something like this.

This silence between us was killing me, he was still looking at the floor with the same stoic expression. And I was tapping my fingers on the armrest of the wheelchair, I couldn't take, I had to say something. I wanted to run but seen as I was the one who asked to talk to him, there is no way I could.

"Edward..." I started, but before I could say any more he cut me off.

"Do you think we could go somewhere a bit more private, certain people in this school eavesdrop" he said walking towards me and pushing me further into the hall before I could even answer him.

He was silent as he pushed me outside to where there was no one around, he parked me by a bench and he sat down, he still didn't look into my eyes, which was making me more anxious every second. I wish that he had Jasper's power so he would know that I was anxious.

"OK. Edward I..." he cut me off again, I wish he would let me speak!

"I forgive you" he spoke calmly. OK now I was confused, wasn't this supposed to be the other way around?

"for what?" I asked in confusion, he held both of his hands together placing them to his chin, him not looking at me was really aggravating me.

"I forgive you for this fling that you and Alice have had" he said through gritted teeth.

He thought this was a fling, boy if he thinks that he is poorly mistaken. But didn't he read Alice's mind? plus he forgiving me for something that I'm not sorry for.

He finally looked into my eyes, his eyes looked regretful and hurt.

"but I'm back now Bella, so you can stop it with her now, we can go back to normal, you and me can be together and so can Alice and Jasper, the way it's meant to be" he said smiling at me, I just glared at him and he looked confused and hurt at my reaction.

"the way it's meant to be? I don't think so Edward, I don't think that statement is correct at all" I said shaking my head from side to side frantically. Who did he think he was? The Almighty Vampire Edward?

He simply looked questioningly into my eyes, "Why not?" he said calmly but shifting a little.

"Because you left me, and abandoned me, and all of a sudden you come back and expect everything to be hunky-dory? and I'm actually glad you left when you did, because it made me think about a lot of things, including you" I said looking down, but I wasn't finished yet I was determined to get it across to him that he is not the only one for me to love.

"I realised that what I felt for you was naïve, I didn't think it through when you were around, I love you, but not romantically, I loved the idea of you, someone who could be with me and be so different from me on so many different levels, but when you were gone I realised that those feelings I had of romantic love were not for you" I explained in a whisper, I couldn't hear him, he was just silent, but I could see him staring at me in the corner of my eye.

"Bella you don't know what you're saying" he said, I couldn't believe it, couldn't he get the hint. I wanted to just shout what I wanted to say but for my sake I kept calm, I didn't know what he was capable of with all this information he was getting, I just wish he could read my mind, it would be so much easier.

"Yes Edward, I'm well aware of what I'm saying" I said finally looking up into his piercing gold eyes.

He looked past me, his face looking as if he was deep in thought.

"This would of never happened if I hadn't left, you would have still been mine" he said growling as he clenched his fists at his side. I sighed at looked around, there were people in the distance so I felt a bit safer telling him things that were clearly making him angry. He wouldn't do anything abnormal with other humans around.

"I was never yours to own Edward, I'm not some toy you can put in your toy box, I'm not something you can claim, and even if you never left I would have realised my feelings sooner or later" I could feel the tears emerging, I wish Alice was here to hold my hand, but even if that was possible that would have made problems worse.

He stood from his seat and placed his hands on either side of me resting on my armrests, he just looked into my eyes and I was afraid to look away.

"Why her Bella, what is so special about her?" he said as if begging for the answer, he gripped the armrests tighter and I suddenly felt scared, not for myself but for Alice. I decided to tell him the whole truth, I needed him to know how strongly I felt for her.

"We can't help who we love Edward, and I love Alice, she is special to me because she is Alice, and nothing is ever going to change how I feel about her, she is the most precious thing to me" I said in a whisper and he just looked at me in disbelief, he gripped the armrests tighter and then let go, walking so his back was facing me.

"at one time that would have been me. I still love you Bella, I just wish it was me who you loved unconditionally" he said in a sorrowful voice and he turned to me, I couldn't say anything, I wanted him to tell me how he felt, but I couldn't help the guilt that racked through my mind.

"Edward, just because I feel this for Alice doesn't mean I hate you, I still love you, but as a friend or a brother, I don't want to lose you again Edward" I said as the tears fell from my eyes, he turned round to look at me and sat back down on the bench.

"I was always the one to make you cry wasn't I? I'm sorry for that Bella, but my feelings however haven't changed so for now I don't think I can stay here. I will always love you but I know that Alice loves you also, and with that I know that you will be happy, and that is the most important thing to me" he said placing his hand on his knees, out of habit I placed my good hand on top of one of his, and he smiled for the first time since he has been back.

"I will really miss you Bella Marie Swan" he said looking into my tear filled eyes, I gripped his hand even tighter, even though I didn't love him like that any I wasn't going to let him leave me again.

"Edward, please don't leave, please" I said desperately, he displayed something that I think was a sad smile, and he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. His ice cold lips pressed against the skin of my head making me shiver.

"Goodbye Bella" I closed my eyes and let out a sob and tried to control my breathing. I felt him remove his lips and when I opened eyes he was gone. I was starting to panic like I did when he first left me.

"Edward!"

I shouted at the top of my lungs, I knew where ever he was he would have heard me and so could everyone else that was near by, I was suddenly centre of attention, but I didn't care. I put my head in my hand a rocked a little without causing myself pain.

My tears wouldn't stop falling but I wasn't crying just for myself, I was crying for his family, how would Esme and Carlisle react, I'm the reason for their son leaving, and what about Jasper I stole away his wife, his partner that he has been with for many years, in a couple of weeks I had ripped their family apart.

I couldn't be here I needed to go, I needed to leave Forks, I couldn't take feeling like this all the time being around the Cullens, especially Alice, trying to act happy when inside I was distraught with guilt about Edward and Jasper, and me splitting their unique family. Maybe I can go and live with Renee in Florida, maybe then everyone will be happy, and Alice can be with Jasper and no one will be lonely, well Edward would still be but he could go back to his family. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to leave Alice, I love her, but It causes so much pain to others. I have no choice.

I rolled my wheelchair towards the front of the school, at least I didn't have to go through the school to get out of the grounds. I was by the gates when a familiar voice made me stop,

"Where do you think you're going?" her voice was music to my ears but also a siren song, I could hear the concern and sadness in her voice, I slowly turned the wheelchair around to see a very unstable petite Vampire staring at me, she looked as if she was crying, but no tears were there and never would there be any there.

"Alice.." was all I could muster, my voice was sore from crying, and my tears fell once more, I turned my head away and in no time I was in a tight embrace, Alice's arms were around me, my head was in her neck and she had her head in mine, I was sobbing loudly into her neck, I couldn't stop, my emotions were all catching up with me.

"Shh, it's ok Bella, I'm here" she said and she lifted her hand and started to stroke and caress my hair.

"I'm so sorry Alice" I couldn't think of anything else to say, my crying hadn't calmed down and she pulled out of the embrace and I felt like I was moving, in no time I was by Alice's car, she lifted me up and into the back seat of the car, she left the wheelchair and climbed into the other side.

She then wrapped her arms around me again, my crying had calmed down a bit and it was now quiet in the car, she hugged me closer and was just stroking my hair and making calming noises which worked.

I pulled out of her hug and looked into her eyes, she was smiling at me, which made me calm enough to talk to her, but I didn't even know what to say. I was actually wondering how she found me and how did she know where to find me.

"Alice, how did you know where I was?" I said looking into her eyes, she simply looked at me in amusement and pointed to her head. Oh yeah I forgot, how could I forget that?

"When you decided to leave, I got another vision" she said taking hold of my hand..

"another vision?" I said, how many decisions have I been making today?

"yeah I have had quite a few while you were away from me" she said looking out of the window, "I saw you decide what to say to Edward, and when Edward decided to leave,mostly they were the questions you were both deciding to ask each other, but I also saw you decide to leave Forks " she said as she pointed her head down but kept her eyes on mine.

"Do you realise how much it hurts me to think that you are willing to leave me" she said gripping a little tighter on my hand.

"You said all those things to Edward...you said I was the most precious thing to you, and you want to leave me?" she said as she sobbed but with dry eyes.

I couldn't say anything, I just felt the tears coming back and I let them, I couldn't stop them any longer.

"Do you realise how much I love you Bella?" she said as she released my hand and placed both of her hands on my cheeks lightly.

"Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you went away?" I sniffled and closed my eyes, I didn't know what to say to her, I regretted ever thinking about leaving, it caused her sadness and that was why I was leaving in the first place, because I didn't want her to be sad. Alice just looked at me her mouth slightly open and she was waiting for me to respond, I had to say something.

"I'm sorry Alice, I thought that you would be happier if I was away from here, all I ever seem to do is make problems for your family and you, and I hate the thought of hurting you" I said putting my good hand on her cheek, she closed her eyes at the contact and then opened them again.

"Then don't leave me" she said in a whisper, her voice filled with emotion, there is no way I could leave her, I don't care if I'm being selfish I can't leave the people I love the most. I looked into Alice's eyes and I saw them soften a little and she smiled at me, she hugged me again and whisperd "good" into my ear, she obviously heard what I decided

I giggled a little after she said that and she smiled a little too as she brushed her hand against my cheek once more. But even though she had calmed me down a little I still feel extremely guilty, but I guessed it showed on my face and Alice gave me a look that a mother gives a child to say that every thing is ok.

"What about Edward, Alice?" I asked her as I tried to make myself comfortable which was a challenge with my leg and arm still in the casts. Alice saw me shifting and lifted my legs carefully and put the across her lap, which was great and her cold legs soothed the aching pain in my leg.

"I knew that he was going to leave as soon as I saw them here this morning" she confessed looking at me with a sorry expression.

"But he just needs to be alone right now, he needs to adjust to things and he didn't say that he wasn't going to come back" she said smiling at me and it actually made me feel a little better the way she said it.

"But what about Esme and Carlisle? I have split your family, and I don't think I can face them" I said closing my eyes and I felt my hand been held and I opened my eyes to find her staring lovingly at me.

"Bella, like you said before, we can't help who we love, and Esme and Carlisle understand that statement well enough, I think they know that something like this would happen, even though we don't grow old, our minds grow and we start to think bigger and when that happens some people will get hurt and nothing can stop that, we just have to learn to live with it" she said as she stroked my hand.

"And I can't help that I love you, and I will for as long as I exist" she whispered, her eyes were so full of emotion, I'm sure if she was human she would be crying right now.

"Alice, I can't believe that a couple of years ago, I didn't even know who you were and vice versa, and now I don't know how I survived without you, I guess you are the kind of person I have been hoping I'd find" I said as she lifted my hand and kissed it lightly, but I wished it was my lips she was kissing, 'Stupid punishment'

"Is that because you love me because I'm Alice" she giggled after she spoke, I laughed as she repeated what I had said to Edward earlier.

She placed her lips to my hand again and kept them there for a while, her eyes were closed, maybe I could get her to annul the punishment, but as I was thinking that she opened her eyes and leaned closer to me, my heart began racing and I could feel her breath on my lips, but instead of kissing me she pulled me in to a tight embrace, which was extremely painful, as she leaned on my broken arm, I didn't want to brake the hug though so I kept quiet

But as soon as I thought about it I hissed in pain without realising, I couldn't hold it in, and as soon as I did she pulled away and look at me apologetically.

"Sorry, I forgot" she said innocently and moved back over to her side again.

Thinking about it now we had been talking,hugging and crying for a while now, we should probably get back to school, I was about to ask Alice if we should go back but she beat me to it.

"Already covered, I told the everyone that you were in pain and that I would take you home to look after you while Charlie is at work because you wouldn't be able to look after yourself" she said and she smiled whilst closing her eyes.

I couldn't help but smile at her, she was always good at coming up with wacky ideas, I guess she has had years of practice.

"So are you kidnapping me or something?" I said with a grin on my face, and she raised and eyebrow and lifted her head as if contemplating something.

"Well, as much as I would love to keep you all to myself, I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my house, Esme and Carlisle have been deciding all day when to invite you" she said smiling at me but I couldn't return one, I was thinking about what I thought Esme and Carlisle would think of me for splitting up there family and I couldn't help but show a slight twinge of guilt on my face and Alice must have picked up on it because I felt a cold hand on my face.

"You'll be fine Bella, I promise" she whispered with a reassuring smile. She moved my legs of her lap and leaned back over to me and grabbed the seatbelt to buckle me in, my heart beat was speeding up with her close proximity and she stopped and looked at me laughing slightly,

"It's nice to know I have that effect on you" she said moving herself backwards and out the car closing the door behind her.

"You have no idea" I whispered to myself while she was out of the car, I hope she can't hear me through the car.

She opened the drivers side door and sat down looking back at me , "I heard that" 'Busted'

I laughed and so did she, she pulled out of the parking lot and within minutes we were at her house.

She stopped the car and walked round to my door in a split second. She unstrapped me, as she unfolded the wheelchair I huffed at it, I hated that damn wheelchair and I had at least 5 weeks left to go until I was rid of it. Alice heard me huff and gave me another motherly look that told me to 'shut up and deal with it' she picked me up and put me in the chair, and rolled me up to the house, before we even reached the front door Esme came rushing out with her arms wide open and hugged me.

When I finally got over the shock I hugged her back, "Bella, I missed you so much, how are you feeling honey?" she said releasing me and smiled, I couldn't help but smile back at her, she was practically my second my mother.

"I missed you too Esme and I'm ok apart from a couple broken bones" I said laughing a little but Esme looked upset, but the concerned kind of upset.

"Well at least they can heal, come inside honey, Carlisle is inside, he has been eager to see you" she said looking to Alice.

"I know" Alice said from behind me and I looked up to see her pointing at her head.

Esme laughed and walked back into the house, Alice pushed me into the house and I saw Carlisle standing there with his charming smile, he walked over to me extending his hand and I raised mine to reach his, And he held it gently.

"Bella, It's great to see you, I hear you have been through quite a bit while we were away" he commented, I only nodded shyly.

"ugh yeah you could say that" I said hesitantly looking up at Alice who was brimming with a smile, which made me smile, she never actually told me if they knew about us. I'm guessing they do or they would be wondering why I was with Alice instead of Edward.

"Well we are just glad you are safe and sound, and we are sorry for leaving the way we did but it was Edwards wish that we did so" he explained showing his calm manner, this was going to be harder than I thought to tell them that Edward has left them.

"It's ok, I understand why you did, but with the subject of Edward, I kinda need to tell you something...I...umm" I was struggling with my words, I didn't know how to tell them, but before I could think of anything, I felt Alice hand on my shoulder and looked up as I heard her speak,

"Edward has left for a while, I'm not sure when he will be back he hasn't decided yet, but I know that he will return" she said calmly, how could she be this calm, has Edward done something like this before?

I removed my shocked eyes from Alice and looked over and Carlisle and Esme, they were smiling, smiling? Their son has left them and they're smiling? I guess this is just a Cullen thing.

"Well I'm sure he will call us, he needs some time to himself, well if you excuse me I have to get back to my study, it's great to see you again Bella" he sent me a smile and walked back to his study, I looked away from him to look at Esme now and she stood there looking at both of us with a reassuring smile, but I could tell this upset her, but with the way she was I knew she wouldn't show it.

"Well girls, I have got some unpacking to do, so if you need me just call me"

"Thanks Esme, we will be in my room if you need us" I smiled at Esme and Alice pushed me to the stairs, but with a house of Vampires this house was not exactly wheelchair accessible. I laughed when Alice picked me up bridal style and carried me up the stairs and in no time we were in her room and she placed me on the bed, she positioned herself next to me putting my head on her chest, her unneeded breath that made her chest rise was like a hypnotising trance.

"They were so calm" was all I could say, I still couldn't believe that they reacted as if nothing had happened.

"this isn't the first time Edward has left us, there have been a lot of times where Edward has wanted to be alone and this time is no different" she simply replied as she stroked my hair.

" I hope he comes back, I don't think I can face Esme if he doesn't" I said hugging her tightly as I could with one arm.

"He will don't worry, and I'm here with you, and I always will be"

"And I'm glad you are" she smiled at me and ruffled my hair

"Hey..." I said and I gave her a glare whilst trying to put my hair back to normal.

"What? You were asking for it, you look so cute when you're playfully annoyed" I laughed at her comment, she was so perceptive to my expressions.

I looked around her room and couldn't help but think about Jasper, to think that this was their room and is still technically their room made me guilty again, there was so much history in this room for them, and I wish that me and Alice had somewhere like that and my room really couldn't count as one because it was more mine and Edwards but I wanted somewhere new for me and Alice, then I wondered if she had ever had somewhere that she liked to go sometimes, maybe we could find a place for us and make memories and go there when we need cheering up.

"Alice? Did you ever have a place, that you just go to lift your mood, or just stay for a while?" I asked innocently, I looked into her eyes and they looked into mine with curiosity, then went to a soft expression.

"Not really, I've never really had a place like that, It would be nice to have a place like that though, have you?" she replied, taking my hand in hers. I suddenly remembered that I did have somewhere when I lived in phoenix

"I did when I was younger, I had a tree house, I know, such a typical kid thing, but it was my special place, and when I was lonely or upset I would sit in it for hours,which was kind of every day, I kind of miss it" I confessed, I had actually forgotten about my tree house, I wondered whether it was still back in phoenix.

"it sounds lovely, It's nice to know you could have somewhere that is your own, with me I have never had a place just for me, we have always been here, there and everywhere and never really spent much of our time anywhere long enough for me to find a place like that" I couldn't help but squeeze her tighter and she started to stroke my arm, which felt really nice against my skin.

"That's a shame" I simply said closing my eyes, taking in her intoxicating scent that I love so much.

"So what made you think of things like that?" she asked placing her forehead on to the back of my head and I could feel her breath on the back of my neck.

"Well I was thinking that we don't really have place to go to when we are upset or want to be alone, or just want to go to whenever, I mean I know we have our houses but that's not really a special place if you know what I mean" she stopped stroking my arm for a second but then continued and spoke softly.

"Well I guess we will just have find one then won't we" I shivered a little at her touch and she lifted me off her so she could get off the bed, she walked over to her closet and retrieved a blanket then moved back over to the bed placing herself back where she was and covered us in the blanket.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked as she resumed stroking my arm, and I placed my head back on her chest.

"Well I think I just want to stay like this for a while" I said, I was happy that we could snuggle like this without people getting the wrong idea even though the idea wouldn't be wrong, I laughed in my head, even in my own mind I babbling.

"Sounds perfect to me" she whispered into my ear, her breath on my neck, made me shiver a little and she pulled the blanket tighter around me.

And that's how we stayed for the rest of the day, calming each other in our embrace.


A/N: There you go everyone, another chapter for you, I hope you like and I would love it if you review and I'm not going to force you to so don't worry but it would be nice if you could tell me what you think.

Thanks for reading...

much love to ya...xxxx

-Claire-