Thaks for your reviews and alerts! They mean a lot to me!
Here's a new chapter at last)) (Sorry for being so slow) The chapter is rather dark, but the dawn is also one step closer)
Disclaimer: MASH is not my property
Enjoy! (even if it's sad)
Chapter 9
"The sun vanished, leaving the bright day devoured by thick and impenetrable darkness. There were no stars and the inky sky looked like a black pit lighted only by a round silver object partially obscured by the clouds. The cool moonlight seemed to have replaced the dazzling sunbeams within a second, as if the major part of the day had just been stolen. This ghostly, almost supernatural shining sent shivers down everybody's spine making our teeth clatter either from the cold and from the terror of what was to come next. We were walking in silence so heavy that it would have surely suffocated us if not the sound of the icy grass breaking under our feet…" he paused when a new wave of shivers racked through his body. "Then I saw them, pale, immobile, dread and pain on their faces, shining under the moonlight as if somebody had covered them with phosphorus. They were all dead, there was no mistake it that. Their eyes were open, deprived of the slightest trace of life. They were just staring into nothing…" he was shivering more violently now and the priest understood that the poor man was coming to the most intense part of his story.
"Go on son." said Mulcahy at last, smiling encouragingly, "we know only half of what had happened that night."
"I recognized those men. They were Jim's friends, two sergeants from his unit. The whole world seemed to have crushed upon me at that moment. With a sickening feeling in my stomach I realized what unit had been caught under the shell fire. It was Jim's unit, my little brother's unit. For the first time have I been that scared. If the closest pals my brother had in this damn war were dead, what the hell could have happened to Jimmy? There were some rumors of the storm warning, so I didn't have my chopper, it was useless during nighttime anyway. I volunteered, you know, when the news came I decided to come and help the medics, we were short-handed and the request was urgent."
"What was it about?"
"We were reported that a village not far away had been bombed. Fortunately, almost all the civilians had been evacuated earlier, but, as we knew, a group of soldiers was stationed there. Not the whole unit, just a group…Jimmy's group."
Mulcahy nodded in understanding, trying to guide the Lieutenant through this painful recollection of his. Waiting for the man to come round at last, Mulcahy played all the possible scenarios of their future talk and decided to get Robinson talking at first. "We'll see what to do next." he murmured catching the sight of the finally stirring pilot.
Robinson woke up as soon as the effect of the sedative wore off, a couple of hours after they managed to lull Hunnicutt and Winchester to sleep. The Father let the man take his time to rub his eyes, look around and remember where he had fallen asleep. Mulcahy saw Robinson's gaze search the room for more information which his memory apparently lacked at that moment. Finally the pilot noticed the unconscious surgeon he had failed to rescue. He jumped from his cot in a flash and hastened to the injured man's side, nearly bumping into Kellye who was about to take the surgeon's blood pressure. Feeling that the time to interfere came, otherwise Robinson would drive himself to another breakdown, Mulcahy stood up from his observation point in the opposite corner of the room and silently approached the neurotic man. Robinson jumped on his spot when the Father touched his shoulder. He looked at the priest, panic in his eyes, not daring to ask the only question that seemed to have formed in his mind. It was quite predicted though.
Having reassured the Lieutenant that Hawkeye was alive, and carefully omitting the fact that the Captain was, actually still hovering between life and death, Mulcahy led the pilot man back to his cot. The Lieutenant's objections that he was fine crashed upon the solid wall of the Father's statement that they needed to talk. Under such pressure Robinson finally gave up and agreed to share the whole story from the beginning. Soon after he began speaking, the priest noticed that, though still shivering occasionally, the man looked calmer. "It is true that sometimes all you need is just to let your pain and fears out," Mulcahy thought. Waking from his thought, the chaplain decided to proceed their little, but dangerous trip.
"What happened next?" he asked Robinson.
The latter took a deep breath and went on.
"It didn't take me long to find Jim, as he was lying not more than five meters away from his dead friends. My heart sank when I dropped on my knees beside him." Robinson gave a sad smile, "It was just like some horror film. As soon as I touched him, the sky suddenly blazed up. I shut my eyes as tightly as possible, but my poor eyelids were actually helpless against this blinding illumination. The sound that came next made me cover my ears as well. After the grave stillness that used to rein this place just a minute ago, this crash or whatever it was definitely meant to rip my eardrums. For one dreadful minute I thought that the shelling had begun again, but feeling my hair gradually getting soaked, I realized that it was the thunderstorm. A single minute hadn't passed before my fingers grew numb. I looked around myself frantically searching for my companions to help me get Jimmy inside the bus, but everything around me was in total chaos. I could not make out my companions' voices through this gale when the roaring wind and every fresh roll of thunder hammered inside my head. I was already soaked to my skin when one of the medics spotted me. Luck was finally on my side when he called for a stretcher to be brought.
Once inside the bus and under the light of our lantern, Jones, that was the medic's name, began giving the first aid to the rescued soldiers. Not waiting for him to turn his attention to my brother, I decided to start the examination myself. Jimmy's chest wound looked serious and the fresh blood had been still seeping from under his shirt. When I recovered from the initial shock of seeing my brother in such a state, I felt slightly relieved. Having not still taken his pulse, I knew for sure that Jim was alive. Just one rule, one axiom told me that everything was not yet lost – dead men don't bleed.
Jim's pulse was weak but steady. The other soldiers, a corporal and a private, appeared to have got off lightly. One had a nasty scratch on his temple and a concussion, not too severe fortunately, the other broke his arm and, perhaps, one or two ribs. Jimmy's poor friends were unfortunate to be caught in the very center. My brother appeared to be just behind the line but the shell fragments somehow managed to reach him. Those two were quite lucky to "meet" only the impact of the burst wave."
Robinson rubbed his eyes again, this time with the air of embarrassment on his face. The young man seemed to begin to realize what commotion he had caused around himself.
"Sorry Father, sometimes I just can't hold my emotions when it concerns my family…"
"It's fine Lieutenant, I've seen greater and older men break like a straw having got bogged down in their self-pity. Your emotions are genuine and they don't, as the word goes, besmirch your honor." Mulcahy gave a kindly little chuckle when a shade of a smile had crossed the pilot's face. It grew serious though within a second.
"As far as I remember, my brother once told me, there were eighteen men in Jimmy's group. I saw some other bodies but did not count them." he whispered, "We saved only three of them, my brother included. Three kids, Father, among eighteen…" the Lieutenant was not shaking any more, he was sad, frightened perhaps, but not nervous.
Judging by his body language, Robinson's initial panic and irritation, caused by his forced return to that nightmare he had gone through, began to pass. The priest felt a note of relief and satisfaction. He knew that they were on the right path now. Sharing the painful memories, gave Robinson the strength to overcome them. His tone much calmer that before, the pilot continued.
"The bus ride was rough. The vehicle was constantly swaying, threatening to lose its track." Finishing his story Robinson smiled. "You said you knew the rest." he said.
"I do, and now I do want to hear it from you." Mulcahy answered looking the pilot directly in the eyes. "I want to know what you felt."
"Alright," the Lieutenant paused trying to collect his mind, groping his way through the darkness his mind had been plunged into, "I remember very little of the next several hours actually," he frowned as if in a deep thought, "I don't remember a thing, only a couple of episodes, blurred and broken. I must have been running on pure adrenalin…"
"What was your next recollection after your arrival?"
"I'm here, in this very room, waiting for my brother to be wheeled back from the operation theater… Captain Pierce walked just after the corpsmen. He greeted me with a smile and said that everything would be fine. He had spent all the time at Jimmy's side before he got better. I did not want to leave Jimmy alone either so the Captain let me rest on the nearby cot." Robinson shuddered, "We rescued only three of them and the ward was half empty."
Mulcahy felt that the tears he had been fighting for so long were actually about to win the battle. One minute and his steel nerves would not stand this flood of pain draining his powers completely. Apart from his own fears for Hawkeye's life, he was also exhausted, more than ever. He wished he had been in his tent. It was his own space, his secure stronghold where he could unleash his emotions. He was gradually approaching his limits, he was sure of it. The priest clenched his teeth in a vain attempt to steady his breathing. The tears were burning his eyes, it was unbearable!
Finally Mulcahy fixed his gaze on Robinson. This man needed his help. It was up to the doctors to save lives and his duty was to save souls. Human mind and human spirit are too wondrous to being destroyed by such fiends as fear and guilt. It was good when a human could actually feel guilty, it was what made him human after all, but sometimes it brought nothing but total ruin to his sanity. For the last two days guilt has become something like a common cold. Everyone got infected, even Winchester. Charles's reaction appeared to be an utter surprise to the young priest, but a good one. It was really great to see that their pompous Major did have a heart, and a very big one. "They are the best doctors I have ever seen," he thought, "They will save Hawkeye, and I will save their souls." Feeling his self esteem slowly creep back, Mulcahy looked at the Pilot again, determination in his eyes. It was high time to pass strict to the point.
"Let's discuss your supposed debt to Captain Pierce, my son." he said.
"Of course I own him! He saved my brother's life!" the pilot exclaimed, "And I let him down." he added bitterly.
"No, you didn't." replied Mulcahy looking Robinson directly in the eyes to prove that he was frank, "You did save him."
"But…"
"Look there!" Mulcahy nodded in the direction of Hawkeye's cot, "He's alive. He's breathing, his heart is beating. You did your best to save Captain Pierce and you succeeded! We would have never got to him in time if you hadn't seen his jeep. Right now the whole camp owns you for saving Hawkeye."
Robinson's reaction to these words was immediate. He stood up and began pacing the room. "Father, please, there's no need for that. You're definitely exaggerating."
"But it's you who's exaggerating! Pull yourself together, man! You saved Hawkeye, accept it! It's not your fault that you had not picked him up! Now stop your panic and let us do the rest!"
Robinson stopped. Taken aback by the Chaplain's outburst, he opened and closed his mouth like a caught fish, but no sound escaped from it… it didn't take long though. The pilot took a deep breath, rubbed his face and smiled. It was not a forced and sad, but a wide genuine smile. "Thank you Father." he said.
"You are welcome my son." replied Mulcahy, "feeling better?"
"I think so, I hope so…" the man answered, "I don't know for sure. But I know what I must and what I must not do." he grinned, "I must not let myself fall apart, for Jimmy's sake at least."
"How is he now?" the chaplain asked.
"He's home, safe and sound," the grin grew wider, " getting prepared to go to college next year."
"Good to hear that!" Mulcahy smiled back, "All is fine, you both will be fine."
"Yeah, I think so."
"And what do you know you must do now?"
"I must do something useful. I think I will organize everything to have my chopper repaired. I'm getting my wings or, it'd be better say, my blades back to save more lives."
"Now I see you're back to normal! Good to hear this!"
"Thanks again Father, for everything!" Robinson turned his gaze on Hawkeye, "He'll pull through, won't he?"
"He will, Lieutenant." Mulcahy said simply. "What are you going to do now?"
Robinson looked at his watch, it was almost five in the morning. "I won't sleep today after such a long nap I took. I think I'll go to the showers, grab a cup of coffee, report to the I-corp of my problem and take a jeep to get to my fallen "steed" myself."
"Sounds like a plan to me, but don't tell the people in the camp about Hawkeye, the Colonel will do it himself. The news is not good and we don't want it to be spread like rumors."
"I won't Father, I promise." Robinson sighed for the hundredth time of the past night, "I'll come back as soon as possible though."
"Deal."
Robinson left. Mulcahy closed his eyes and leaned on the wall giving his tired brain a well-deserved rest. He had been sitting like this, as it looked like, for ten or fifteen minutes when some distant voices slowly reached his ears.
"Go wake Major Houligan, I'm afraid I will have to interrupt her exile a half an hour earlier."
"Yes Colonel." Kellye replied.
Mulcahy stood up and approached the older man sitting by Hawkeye's cot, a stethoscope clenched in his shaking hand.
"What is it Colonel?" the priest asked, already fearing for the answer.
"Blood" Colonel answered simply, "Too much blood in chest the tube."
To be Continued...
