I've just had a big planning sesh so i have more direction now yay!
Be warned, there will be ANGST on the horizon so brace yourselves ^^
Thank you for all the kind comments, i really appreciate them all. Bear in mind i don't have a beta so there will be the odd spelling mistake though i do cast a critical eye over everything when i post but i am only human.
Emma is all at sixes and sevens as she stomps home. She's wilfully ignoring her childish gait, relishing the hard impact of her booted feet on the sidewalk. She's ignoring the guilt snaking up her spine. She's ignoring the knowing steady brown eyes looking at her not with judgement, but with absolute understanding but the barest hint of underlying disappointment.
She storms up the stairs into the apartment and enters with a slam of the door, the various glass panels rattling. It would almost be comical if she didn't actually want to break things. Shame and anger are warring inside her and it's an ugly miasma of discontent brewing in her belly.
"Henry, pack your things," she barks, not in the mood for discussion, "You are going home to your mother."
Henry is sitting at the breakfast bar, spoon halfway to his mouth. His eyes are wide, not unlike a deer in headlights the back of her mind tells her and she forces herself to close her eyes and to breathe. The harsh words that got her in this state came back to galvanise her into action.
She moves, coming to sit across from her son. He puts his spoon back in the bowl. David's not here she realises, not noting him appearing from anywhere, and Henry's been helping himself to the fruit loops. Her son.
"So, you know stuff has gone down in Neverland…" She starts, suddenly sheepish and the anger that fuelled her black cloud march swiftly dissipating in the face of her son. She reaches up and scratches her neck.
"Yeah," he leans back and crosses his arms. He might be hers biologically, but he was all Regina too. And the thunderous mood erupted once more.
"So I think you should go home to your other mother," She spits the final word at her son, ignoring the eyebrow raising, "I think you should spend some time with her."
Henry nods slowly, as though this was a particularly hard point to process Emma notes irritably. What was so hard to understand? Didn't he want to see his mom?
"Ma, will you be alright?"
Emm's heart breaks at his unsure tone. She continually doesn't give him credit. She can't meet his eyes for a moment, her own finding a hairline crack in the brickwork particularly interesting.
"Henry…" She plays with an ever present doily sat on the surface. "You know that stuff has happened, and I don't want to go into it, yet." She holds her hand up, placating, as he opens his mouth to argue. "But, I'm finding it hard to just…" Emma pauses, unsure how to continue, and she changes the subject because damn, she just can't. "You mom has also been through a lot, and there's no one there with her – I've got Mary Margaret and David… but she's got no one there right now…" She trails off, willing him to just get it.
"It's ok Emma," She blinks back tears as Henrys small hand reaches across and covers her own, "I get it."
"You still owe me an explanation of what happened though," he chirps as he gets off the chair and bounds upstairs.
Emma sits whilst Henry rattles around upstairs, counting her blessings that her son is not in one of his obstinate 'I demand an explanation for everything' moods. This is exactly the right thing to do she thinks. Regina is alone over there, and whilst Emma had been the one taking on the more obvious horrors of their time over on the island… she braces for the ripple of tension that flits through her… Regina will probably have her own shit to deal with too. Emma should probably check in with her about that she realises, her selfishness slapping her in the face. Maybe it's not such a good idea to send Henry over, Emma screws up her face in consternation.
But then, Regina has always been more prepared for pretty much everything. She's so much stronger than Emma has ever been. More in control. And Henry would call her at the first sign of trouble.
"What are you smiling at, Ma?" Henry breaks Emma out of her appreciative thoughts and brings her back to the matter at hand as he appears on the stairs, bag slung on his back.
Emma looks at her son, reaffirming that this is the right course of action. It will give Regina and Henry some time together with no outside influences and it will give her some time to fix her shit.
She dismisses Henrys question with a shrug and a smile and they head out.
They cross the town in a comfortable silence, taking the bug. Emma lost in her thoughts, Henry in his. She looks down and sees his hand resting on top of hers where it cups the shift stick, she hadn't even noticed.
"Let me know if you are worried about your mom ok?" she ventures and he smiles at her understandingly.
"Course ma, she needs people to look after her too" He trails off meaningfully but Emma isn't biting.
She's a bit discombobulated by the intense change in her relationship with Regina, and the equally intense reversal that is almost… expected back here. She supposes, it will take time to figure out where everything falls. And yes, she had fled to the brunette when she was in need the night before, but she could do this without her. Could do it without the smart ass looks telling her what to do.
Could do without the intensely grounding experience she'd had at her side for the past few weeks a traitorous voice whispered. Emma frowns as she pulled up outside 108 Mifflin, boosting herself out the seat. She leans on the side of the bug as Henry waves goodbye and runs up the path to the door, already opening. Emma rests her eyes coolly on the woman who clings onto her son tightly, eyes and hands doing the automatic check of limbs intact, face not upset before burying her face in his hair.
Emma can't breathe for a moment as fierce brown eyes meet hers, a million emotions running through them - gratitude, relief, concern – before Regina blinks and ushers her son indoors with smiles and a light shower of laughter, no further ceremony.
She breathes a sigh of relief as both figures disappear through the wide door and she is left on her own. It's for the best. She will be fine. She's done the right thing for the time being. No one can criticise her. She's done something about what Regina had said.
It's fine.
She will be fine.
David looks up as his daughter comes wandering into the bullpen with purpose. She hangs her jacket up, his eyes narrow – Emma almost never takes her leather jacket off. Emma sighs loudly before stalking into her office and dropping into the chair with some force.
"Hey," she grunts, putting her feet up on the desk.
David gets up from his desk, and his pile of paperwork and moves over to lean comfortably on the doorframe of the office.
"Hey," he offers. He doesn't miss the tension that settles in her frame as he comes to stand between her and freedom, and files it away with some sadness. "Back to work already?" He offers.
Emma just nods slowly as she casts her head around, taking in the office. It's been a while he supposes. "Henry said you were just popping in to do some paperwork before heading back to the apartment – I've taken him to Regina's just to let you know," she states dispassionately as she taps her fingers on her thigh.
She starts opening drawers, as though reacquainting herself with their contents.
David is surprised she's here. Surprised she's taken Henry to Regina's
"Are you sure that is wise?"
His eyebrows climb at the loud sigh his daughter lets out as she shuts the drawer with some force.
"She's his mother." He can see Emma is resolute on this as she offers nothing more than this statement, and her hard stare stops him from questioning her further. He supposes, as painful as it is to admit, that she has had more parenting experience than he has…
He forcibly swallows against the tightening in his throat, "Coffee?" he offers before moving over to the machine, picking up on the hum of agreement.
"Do you feel ready to be back at work, Emma?"
Another sigh and he almost smirks at the thought of his daughter throwing up her arms in exasperation.
"I want to be kept busy. I'm not helping anyone sitting around," comes the short, brittle answer, and David can hear more things being fiddled with in the office.
He wants to push her on this, but he also wants to give into anything Emma ever wants to do and he is so weak when it comes to her that he caves.
"Ok," he loads the mug with creamer and sugar. "Promise me though," he asks, setting the mug down and looking Emma in the eye, "Promise me if you need some time or anything at all-"
Emma grabs the mug and looks away, "Yeah I know." She cradles the cup of coffee like it's precious gold and she leans back, not meeting David's eyes again as he stands in front of her desk.
He wants to shake her.
He wants to wrap her up and put her somewhere safe.
He knows he will never be able to do either.
David leaves her with her coffee and goes back to his reports, frowning. He keeps an ear cocked as Emma rattles around the small office, pacing, not seeming to do anything of consequence. He wonders what happened at Regina's – they had been sleeping so peacefully – to make her so rattled.
He starts as she suddenly announces she's going out on patrol and she's off out the door, keys and jacket in hand. David turns to watch her go, helplessly. Something doesn't feel right. And he's deeply surprised Emma has unloaded Henry back onto Regina so soon – he'd have thought having her son around would be something Emma wanted. But then… she had attacked Hook and he never had anticipated that aggression from her. He shudders as the memory flashes up again. He doesn't know if the sudden horror will ever really dissipate.
He'll keep an eye on her, make sure he can act at the first sign of anything. Try talking to her about her experiences and he hopes that she will relax soon to talk to him or Snow. He hopes she will get through this.
He believes she can.
David has faith in the good of this world winning out.
