Beyond the Pain
Chapter 9
Kurt was really enjoying his weekend. It was Saturday afternoon, and he had done nothing all day. Well, he did clean his room, but it really hadn't been that messy. He just liked things in order. Which is probably why he was having a hard time lately… his life had definitely not been in any semblance of order.
And that make him think of Noah. He was enjoying his break from the other boy. Not that he didn't occasionally think of his kisses and how good it felt when he touched him. He did, but he was glad to be away from all the drama.
And that made him think of Finn.
He hadn't thought of Finn at all, until now. And for that he was grateful to Noah. It wasn't just that the other boy gave him something to focus on. He also felt that what they had was more real than anything he and Finn had. He knew his relationship with Noah wouldn't really go any further, but that was okay. At this point he was happy with how they were. Well, he would be when he made up with him on Monday. His thoughts wandered a bit then as he thought of how they might make up…
Kurt wasn't mad at Noah anymore. How could he when the other boy was just doing what he asked. He also found that he wasn't even mad at Finn. Whether Finn knew or not that Kurt had feelings for him didn't really matter. Finn was Finn. He was used to getting lots of attention and yeah, he probably liked it. He and Rachael actually were a lot alike. They should have been the ones together… except then they would have to compete for the attention.
Thinking about Finn reminded him of his Glee assignment. That was something he needed to work on this weekend. He had a few ideas of songs to sing. Not that Finn would realize they were about him… he could be fairly clueless at times.
But right now he was being lazy. And antisocial. He hadn't even gotten on his computer. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Mercedes had texted him early, but she was doing a family thing so he didn't have to worry about making an effort until tomorrow when they were going shopping. His dad was out on a fishing trip with the guys. He had invited Kurt to go along but hanging out with a bunch of middle age guys who were fishing and drinking wasn't exactly what he wanted to do on a Saturday. His dad wouldn't be home until tomorrow, so Kurt had the whole night to himself, and it felt wonderful.
He decided to work on his homework and his Glee assignment. When that was done he could spend the night watching his favorite movies without any worries.
It was several hours later when he stood up and stretched. He had gotten his homework done. He had even made progress on his Glee assignment. At first he had looked through his organized stacks of previously downloaded music. He'd thought there might be something helpful in there. Among them, he found the music he had downloaded during the ballads assignment. It was a stack of love songs with 'I Honestly Love You" on top. Thank goodness he had never actually preformed that in front of anyone. Of course these songs would not work for their current assignment. The feelings he wanted to express to Finn were completely different now. He thought it might be cathartic to destroy the sheets of music. The question was should he shred them or burn them. He was leaning towards burning but decided to wait to decide. After all he had all night. He had also downloaded the music to several possible songs for their current Glee assignment, but he decided to narrow them down later. Now, he just wanted to get something to eat and sit back and watch a good movie.
Kurt was curled up on his couch with Moulin Rouge in the DVD player when his phone buzzed. He had put it on silent, but still didn't feel he could ignore it. He looked at the small screen. Great. A text message from Noah.
Can I come over? Is your dad home?
Kurt thought about lying to him. He really didn't want to deal with Noah right now. As if Puck was reading his mind, Kurt received another text almost immediately.
It's important, Kurt. I need you.
Kurt just sighed. He couldn't ignore him. He owed him so much.
My dad's gone. Come over.
As he waited for Puck to arrive, Kurt checked his appearance in his vanity mirror. His skin looked good considering all the stress he'd been under. His hair needed fixing, but that didn't take long. He drew the line at changing his clothes. Puck was coming by on a Saturday evening, and he could just deal with Kurt's casual look. Not that Puck would mind. He probably would like the sweat pants and t-shirt he was wearing… still designer of course. He did not shop at Wal-mart.
He didn't have to wait long, before he heard a knock at the door.
Kurt took a deep breath to ready himself. He was a little nervous… and excited. They had always met at school before, so this would be the first time they were really, totally alone together.
But nothing could prepare him for the sight of an upset Noah standing at his door. His eyes were intense, and he pushed past Kurt as soon as the door was open.
"Sure come in…"
But as Kurt shut the door, he was unable to even finish his sentence, before Puck was on him. He pushed Kurt up against the wall, kissing him intently. Kurt couldn't help reacting to the other boy. His hands were around him, and he could barely think with Puck grinding against him. The kisses were rough and hurried. There wasn't a bit of gentleness in them, and Kurt didn't realize how much that would turn him on. He groaned as Puck put his hands in his hair and pulled his head back, biting and nipping at his neck. It was amazing, and Kurt found himself completely aroused within minutes of opening the door.
"Kurt… I need you, I need this," Puck gasped.
Kurt whimpered… he couldn't help it. He had never felt anything so amazing before. He couldn't think of anything but Noah… his hands… his mouth… the way he was grinding against him.
"Let's take this downstairs to your room," Puck said his voice low and husky. "To your bed."
And suddenly Kurt's mind cleared… well enough for him to realize this wasn't like any other time they had been together.
He gently pushed Noah away. He wasn't rejecting him; he just needed time to think.
"Noah," he said. "I… what's going on?"
"I think that's obvious, Kurt. I want you…" He reached for Kurt again bringing him closer for another kiss. Kurt allowed it, for the moment. "Do I need to spell it out? I want to be buried deep inside you, Kurt, while you're lying beneath me, moaning my name…"
"Noah," he whispered trying to stop the words, trying to gain control of the situation.
"…I want your lips… those lips… on my cock… your mouth so hot… Kurt…"
The images were unbelievable, and Kurt was having a hard time resisting the other boy, but he knew he had to.
"Noah," he said more forcibly as he pushed him away once again. "What happened?"
Puck ran his hand through his Mohawk, his eyes full of pain, and Kurt knew he was right to stop him.
"I was doing so good. I thought I had it under control. I thought I was almost over her."
Kurt didn't say anything. It wouldn't help to give Noah his thoughts on that.
"And then… I went to the store. My sister wanted some damn ice cream. All she has to do is pout, and I can't resist so I went…" He stopped unable to speak.
"Noah," Kurt said putting his hand on his arm.
"They were there Kurt. Finn and Quinn were there… grocery shopping or something. I don't know why but I lost it. Maybe because it was unexpected or because there was no one there to distract me or maybe because seeing them together shopping… it made it feel more real. I think I held out hope that she would come back to me and seeing them…" His voice broke as the tears started falling down his face.
"Shit!" he yelled, slamming his hand on the wall. Kurt was a little nervous then. Not that Puck would hurt him, just that he might break something, and his dad would freak out.
Kurt grabbed his arm and kissed his knuckles. "I'm sorry, Noah," he said quietly.
Puck pulled him closer, enveloping him in his arms. "I tried, Kurt. I tried to do what I always do… I went down to the liquor store, and I even had someone ready to buy it for me. That's when I realized I didn't want alcohol, Kurt. I just wanted you. You've ruined me. You're my addiction now." And he kissed Kurt again. This time it was less angry… but still intense. Kurt enjoyed the feel of Puck's hands in his hair as he devoured his mouth.
Puck slipped one hand into Kurt's sweatpants, under his briefs to grab his ass, pulling him towards him. Kurt wasn't sure what to do. He missed Noah, wanted him so much, but there was only so far he was willing to go. And he knew at a certain point, Noah wouldn't be able to stop.
And then Puck pulled his hand back up, and Kurt felt a moment of relief. It was short lived as Puck grabbed the edges of his pants and pulled. Kurt grabbed his hands and moved back before he could get them too far down.
"Stop, Noah."
Puck just had a dazed look on his face. "What the hell, Kurt?"
"I don't want to do this."
"I think you're wrong there, Kurt," he said with a smirk, looking at the obvious bulge in Kurt's pants.
"Then let me rephrase that, Noah… I'm not going to have sex with you."
Puck just looked confused, and Kurt fought the urge to laugh.
"Who could resist this?" he said flexing his arm muscles.
"No one, Noah," he said fondly. "But I'm still not going to sleep with you."
"I don't get it, Kurt."
"Noah? Hasn't anyone ever said no to you before?"
"Not really," he answered. "I don't ask the question unless I already know the answer."
Kurt just shook his head.
"Which is why I don't get it, Kurt. I know you want this. I can feel it. You need this… you need me."
Kurt didn't say anything then. He wasn't sure he could deny what Noah was saying.
"Let's go downstairs," Puck said softly.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Noah."
"I'm just afraid your dad will come home, and I'd rather not be having this conversation right here in the doorway, Kurt."
"My dad…" And he almost told Puck that this dad was going to be gone all night. That was not a good idea. Not that Puck would force him to do anything… he wasn't afraid of that. It was more likely that he would just wear Kurt down. That was his real fear… that he wouldn't be able to resist Puck for long. Better to let Puck think that his dad was going to be home at any moment. "Fine, let's go downstairs."
But as he led Puck down to the basement, he knew he was playing with fire. Being with Puck alone in his bedroom, with his dad gone for the night, and Puck in a strange mood…
He wasn't sure he would survive…intact.
