*For those reading this, I want to thank you so much. "A Day in the Life" was sort of my staple thing, and right now, I just don't have what it takes to keep up with it, as I have to come up with totally new ideas with each drabble. In this chapter, there will be some of Donnel and Maribelle, as well as Kellam and Cordelia. Eventually, there will be Stahl and Robin moments, if ya know what I mean, but... yeah. Still, thank you. It means much to me.

Also, for those of you reading this who hasn't read any of "A Day in the Life", I suffer from Panic Disorder. I wanted to sort of put a personal experience in here of mine, and with all Kellam has been through, I knew he was the right candidate. If you're interested, look it up. It's a mental disorder that is not easy to deal with at all.

SMUTTY.*

He sat on Stahl's bed, showered and in relaxation clothes. He heard the shower shut off, and out of it stepped Maribelle, her curly hair no longer in curles but touseled from drying it with a towel, it still damp. She was in a towel, and he turned his gaze elsewhere, both of them blushing.

"I forgot my clothes in here," she murmured. "I apologize."

"It's okay."

She noticed something was wrong, so she chose not to worry about her clothes for now- after all, she did have a towel around her- and went to her fiance, sitting down by his side.

"Something is wrong," she spoke. He chewed on his bottom lip, clear indication there was. "I knew it. Does it have anything to do with Cordelia?"

He twisted his hands and fingers around each other, his eyes on them. "Ya know... I thought maybe getting some closure would help with all this self-doubt. Talkin' to her was like talkin' to a completely diff'rent person, Mari. She's changed."

"O-Oh," Maribelle whispered, looking to her lap. "I see."

He could tell by the tone of her voice exactly what she was thinking, and he took hold of one of her hands. "Naw, Mari, ain't like that at all." She smiled. "But ya know how much I doubt myself, 'n seein' her, talkin' to her... it brought that all back."

"Donny, no..." Maribelle sighed, her hold on his hand tightening. "You've some so far. Please, I don't want you to go back to the start. I saw how broken you were, and-"

"You came to help me."

"Yes," Maribelle nodded. "Remember the day we met? My father wanted to buy one of the Australian Shepherds you and your family had bred. A pig came running at me, and out of nowhere you tackled and wrestled it down as though it was nothing."

Donnel laughed. "I reckon I made a good first impression?"

"Well, after I calmed down, I saw the pain in your eyes. You didn't say a word to me. You took the pig and walked away, putting it back in its pen with the rest of them. It was then I knew I had to talk to you. And now look where we are." She kissed his cheek and rubbed the X-shaped scar on his hand, which he had received protecting her from the pig. "Donny, you are a wonderful person. I want you to be able to see that."

He shook his head. "The one here that's amazin' is you, Maribelle. I'm all right, I promise." He could see her looking at him, and he smiled. "I promise! Listen, ya done yer part. The rest is up to me. I gotta come up with somethin' to help me see I ain't worthless."

"Well, I'm still going to try, as much as I can," Maribelle added.

For a moment, they were quiet as they sat there, looking around Stahl's room.

"I reckon this is 'bout as much as Stahl as Stahl can get," Donnel laughed.

"Donny?"

Her voice was different, gentler, and this alarmed him. "What? What's wrong?"

She was still looking at him, her cheeks reddened and her eyes expressing something he couldn't quite place. Regret? Fear?

"Haven't... haven't you..." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Never mind."

"No." He released her hand and placed and index finger under her chin, turning her head toward him. "Don't do that. Hidin' stuff ain't good for nothin', so tell me."

Her blush increased. "Haven't you ever thought about... it?"

"It?" He lowered her arm and merely thought for a moment, her gaze on him. Then- "Oh. Well, yeah. O' course. Tons o' times."

"Then... why haven't we?"

This time, his cheeks turned red. He wanted to look at her, but... how could he? "Gosh, Mari, I guess..." He sighed. "I ain't ever done it 'fore, 'n I was afraid I'd run ya off." Briefly, there was silence, then the air was filled with his fiancee's giggling. He turned to her, his cheeks turning even redder. "H-Hey! I'm serious! No one ever wanted me, so-"

Her lips were on his, and after a moment, she pulled away from him. "I don't believe that. That's your confidence attacking you. And to be fair, I haven't, either."

"Ya... ya ain't?"

She giggled again. "No, I ain't." She rubbed her thumbs together anxiously. "I guess you'll be my first and only, huh?"

Donnel bit his lip. "Not much to brag about. Ya sure ya don't wanna run now?"

Her lips were on his again, tender and passionate. Her tongue pressed on his bottom lip, begging for entrance, so he parted his lips, and their tongues united.

"I'm not going anywhere."

They kissed like this for quite a while before Donnel picked her up princess-style, her making sure her towel didn't come undone, and placed her on her back on the bed. His heart was beating out of his chest, and she was scared to death he would be able to hear hers beating fast as well. He kissed her cheeks, her chin, all over her neck, careful not to leave any marks, and as low as to where the towel stopped. Her breathing became ragged, one of her hands on her forehead as she stared up at the ceiling, her mind racing. He noticed this and stopped.

"Are you okay? Do we need to stop?"

She smiled and put a hand on his cheek, shaking her head. "I'm not afraid. Just enjoying this."

"So..."

"Continue," she giggled.

"As you wish," he smiled. "But if I mess up-"

"Shh. We'll probably both mess up somewhere before it's all over," Maribelle reassured. "It's okay."

He nodded, then returned to her lips, their kissing messy in the heat of the moment, but they didn't care. When he pulled away, he looked at the knot that held the towel together, then to her. He reached for it, and she clenched it. He pulled his hand away, but she then moved her hand and nodded. He untied the knot and opened the towel, exposing her completely. His heart stopped alltogether as he just stared. She tried to cover herself again, but he stopped her.

"Gimme a second," he whispered. He reached and pulled off his shirt then his sweats and boxers. She sat up and stared at him this time, her mouth slightly open. He was definitely a farmer, that was for sure. He was lean muscle, and her gaze lowered- "Um..."

"Well. I suppose all that hard work really did the trick, didn't it?" she grinned. He nervously laughed, and she thought of something she had heard people talk about. As he stood there, she got off the bed, got on her knees in front of him, and took hold of his member in a hand.

"Er, Mari..."

She gave it a few strokes, and it hardened even more. She then licked the tip of it, and he hissed. Evidentally, that was good? So, she licked again and again, moving in different spots before taking it in her mouth-

"M-Maribelle, h-hold-"

She kept going, slowly at first then picking up speed. Then, she took it in too deep, and she pulled back, coughing and gagging.

"Oh no," Donnel gasped, taking hold of her shoulders. "You okay?"

After a small coughing spell, she smiled. "Sorry."

"What are ya apologizin' fer? I-"

Before he could finish his sentence, she was at it again, this time knowing how much she could take. With one of her hands, she took hold of it, and using her saliva to help, she moved her hand back and forth, pumping him as she sucked him off. His breathing was a shaky, ragged mess, low moans escaping his lips until he pulled her away by her shoulders, breathing hard.

"What? Did I mess up?" she asked, concerned.

"No," he breathed. "I, uh... I didn't want to. Not like that. Not before we could..."

"O-Oh," she simply said, blushing.

"But ya did great," he smiled at her. He kissed her until he had pushed her back on the bed, the towel still under her; but then his lips skimmed down from her lips, down her neck and chest, to her breasts, where he took one in her mouth. Her back arched as she let out a sigh, and his fingers started tracing up and down between her legs. Her breathing was intensifying, and he took his mouth off her breast and traced his lips lower and lower until he reached just above her most sensitive area, giving it a few tender kisses. Then, spreading her legs, he kissed lower before his tongue found its mark, and her arms went to the pillows, clenching the pillow sheets tightly and her back arching, a loud gasp coming from her. He licked, his other hand working its way to her center as well. His index finger placed itself on her nub, massaging it as he licked her, and her gasping and moaning started to get louder and louder until her legs quaked, and she borderline screamed his name. He pulled up and looked down at her, her face a memory forever locked in his mind. He wiped his mouth off on the towel and kissed her forehead.

"Ya all right?"

She nodded. "Give me a moment."

"Sure thing."

She was gasping, and she smiled. "I thought you said you had never done that before."

"Same goes for you," he grinned. "I reckon it's just second nature, fer us to know this stuff."

"...I'm ready."

He got above her, inbetween her legs, and looked down at her. He had heard it was painful for the woman the first time, and he hated hurting her. She was too precious to him, and just the thought...

"Are you sure?"

"I am," she nodded. "It's you. It will always be you."

Donnel took her hands into his. "Squeeze tight if it hurts, and tell me when it gets too much. Okay?" She nodded. He positioned himself and started to enter, instantly her face contorting to a look of pain. At once, he stopped, but she shook her head, urging him to keep going. He continued, slowly, and then she felt that cringeworthy tear-

"It hurts!"

"I'm sorry!"

"D-Don't move..."

"I won't."

Donnel glanced down and saw some blood on the towel- that was fortunate. They hadnt' gotten any on Stahl's bed or sheets. But he was only halfway in, and he wondered if she could handle the rest.

"Donny?"

"I don't want to hurt you..."

"It's okay. Try to move."

"But-"

"Go on."

He moved in more, and she grit her teeth. "I'm stopping."

"No. We have to get by this or..."

This was true. He kept on, then pulled out slightly. She gasped, the pain starting to die down. He pushed in, this time further, then pulled out, and after a few moments of this, she was not squeezing his hands from pain, but from pleasure. He let go of her hands, taking a breast in one and putting a hand behind her neck with the other, caressing it gently. She found her hips had started moving on their own, grinding in sync with his, her hands on his hips.

"Tonight..." she breathed, "I'm going to make you feel worthy. Because you are."

He paused a second, and she was shocked when his eyes suddenly filled with tears, a couple splashing on her face. He kissed her passionately, and he sat up, pulling her into his lap and letting himself sink into her. He put his hands on her hips and moved her up and down, and she could scarecely breathe. He was in as deep as he could go, and she wrapped her legs around his back, as well as her arms, her breasts eveloping his face. He licked and sucked on each one, and he felt her walls clampen around him, her back arching, her hands on his shoulders as she let out a moan. He then pushed her on her side, lifted a leg to his shoulder, and entered her again, making her gasp. Whatever this position was, it was much better than the previous one, and in no time, she felt another release. His fingers dug into her leg, and she gripped the sheets-

"Mari... s-sorry..."

She felt him pull out suddenly, and then warm liquid spraying all over her. When she looked, she knew, and she smiled as he collapsed beside her, breathing hard. Her eyes watched him, how heavy his eyelids were... and it was no wonder, with all the stress from worrying about Stahl, dealing with Cordelia, and their first time. Before he could say anything to her or her to him, he was asleep. She reached and ran her fingers through his hair-

She heard the door to the apartment open and close. She glanced at their door- Donnel had locked it. Must have when they were taking showers. And it wasn't long for her as well until she fell asleep.

XXXXXX

Kellam and Cordelia tip-toed to his room.

"I'm guessing they're either asleep or..."

"Too quiet. You'd make some noise, anyway," Kellam rebutted. "They're asleep."

They shut his door, and Cordelia saw her suitcase. She had a smaller one in her hand that had her relaxation clothes, and she sat in the suitcase. She then stared out the window.

"Kellam, I'm glad. I'm glad you came for me." She started to turn around- his lips were on hers in an instant, and her back slammed against the wall, pleasurably so. She made a grunt as he kissed he as passionately as he ever kissed her.

"No more. This is all behind us."

She took in a deep breath, as he had stolen all of it from her. "But-"

Again, his lips assaulted hers. "No more."

Their hands were soon all over each other, and in seconds, their clothes were scattered. He pressed her against the wall, finding her already wet, and entered her easily. She gasped, and he lifted one of her legs, it hooked on his elbow. This was makeup sex, but it was still passionate. Their second time, too. She bent over, putting her hands on the wall, making him let go of her leg and go at her doggy-style. He gripped her waist and thrust easily, but she reached back with one of her hands, took hold of his wrist, and jerked him forward, telling him "harder". So, he did as she commanded, and within moments, she covered her mouth, stifling a scream as she met a release. He pulled out, and they got on the bed, where she laid him down and topped him. He helped her as she rode him, moving her up and down. She leaned back and looked down, separating her folds.

"We're together, Kellam... not just like this, but..."

"I know. We will be. Always."

She arched back, moving her legs forward as she moved, his hips thrusting upwards. Her hands gripped onto his legs, and although it was awkward movement, it was certainly doing the trick. She felt his fingers on her nub, rubbing gently, and it was like electricity ran throughout her entire body when he did that. She stifled another scream by clamping her mouth shut-

"Cori!"

And she felt it. His release inside her. Immediately, he pulled out.

"Dammit. Shit!"

"Shh, Kellam, it's okay. I've been on the pill for years."

"I didn't... you were just in a position where-"

"Kellam, relax," she said, laying between his legs, putting her hands on his stomach and interlocking her fingers. She leaned her head on her hands so her chin wouldn't hurt his stomach.

"...Stahl." A pen dropping could've been heard. "Sorry... I know we said-"

"No, you're right. That's how I know," she said. "But, it's like you said. It's in the past."

He rubbed her back softly. "You do love me?"

It wasn't a statement. He still had his doubts, not that she could blame him. Him saying it was all in the past, it was him telling himself over and over she loved him. She leaned up and kissed him.

"I love you." She kissed him again. "I love you." And again. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said, kissing her this time. "Let's get some sleep. We've both had a pretty stressful day."

"Wait. There's something I want to ask."

"Go ahead."

She leaned her head on his chest, tracing his scar with her index finger. "What happened at your parents..."

"Oh."

"What was that?"

Kellam sighed, moved on his side so he could look at her. "I have an anxiety disorder, Cordelia. Panic Disorder."

"What is that?"

"I've had it since I was twelve, when I..." He ran his hand up and down her side- her curve. "It triggered something, that attack, and now I have what are known as panic attacks. I've... been trying to keep it a secret from you for a long time because... I wasn't sure how you would react."

Cordelia's eyes remained locked onto his. "So, what happened at your parents was a panic attack?"

He nodded. "I take medication for it. It helps... kinda. You help more than you know. So does Stahl. I also see a therapist."

"I've never seen you have one until then, though."

"They were particularly bad while I was healing from being stabbed," Kellam informed. "I can go days without having an attack. Weeks, even. Then... bam. Outta nowhere. The one at Mom and Dad's was situational."

Cordelia felt her heart ache. "Will it ever go away?"

"No one knows," Kellam answered. "Psychiatrists don't understand it. It affects only two to three percent Americans, so... I'm one of the lucky few, I guess." He stopped moving his hand. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault. I just wish you didn't have to endure it." She could barely hold her eyes open. "Tomorrow, I want you to tell me what to do when one hits. Okay? I don't want to be useless again."

"You weren't. Seeing your face brought me back." He kissed her forehead. "I love you. See you tomorrow."

He watched her fall asleep, and he knew. She loved him. Stahl and Donnel had just been unfortunate collateral in a love triangle gone wrong. Cordelia was a victim of heartbreak, and he couldn't blame her for that. She didn't know what to do. Who would? But he would never doubt again of her love for him.