Apparently I unearthed my ability to write loads on a train first thing in a morning, that's how I wrote nearly all of Falling Star but that stopped when I finished uni, but in this last week on my placement, I found my muse on trains!
Let me know what you think :D
Step ;)
Chapter 9
As she arrived in the front yard of the Burrow, Hermione was reminded that it was the middle of January by the icy wind that chilled her to the bone.
Cloak, Hermione! She thought.
She wrapped her arms around herself in a feeble attempt to warm up and jogged to the kitchen door. She was surprised to find the door propped open by a large chunk of wood, but when she stepped in front of the gap she was hit by a wave of heat and cooking smells. She smiled as she pulled the door open a bit further; there was something so comforting about the Burrow that was indescribable, Hermione could only guess that is was because of the loving family that had lived here for years.
'Molly?' she called pushing the door wider so she could step through. 'Are you there?'
Hermione rolled her eyes at her own comment. No Hermione, she thought, I'm sure she left the house with the dinner still cooking and the door wide open!
Molly came clattering down the stairs carrying a heap of laundry. She gave a start when she saw Hermione stood behind the kitchen table.
'Oh! Oh, it's you Hermione.'
'I did call Molly, I didn't just walk in.'
'Why not dear? This is your house too you know.'
Hermione smiled. She was lost for words for a few seconds and temporarily forgot why she was at the Burrow.
'Thanks, Molly,' her brain started working again. 'Er…is Ron here?' she asked trying to sound casual.
As soon as she asked the question Molly started busying herself with the pile of washing.
'Isn't he with you dear?' she asked as she started to sort the clothes into people piles.
'No…no he's not.'
'Well…he's not in the house,'
'Oh…thanks…I'll-'
Hermione stopped, not in the house? She thought. Is this Molly's way of not telling me where Ron is – he probably would have asked her to – but this way she isn't lying to me either? 'Cause if she'd said he's not here, meaning the Burrow and all it's fields and grounds, then she would have been lying.
'He's in his hiding place isn't he? I mean-' she hadn't meant to make him sound like a five-year-old hiding in a cupboard somewhere, 'the place where he goes when he needs to think.'
Molly refused to meet Hermione's eye and continued to sort through the pile of washing. Hermione walked round the table and stood next to Molly.
'Molly, please, I need to talk to him.'
The pile of washing was spreading out as Molly rummaged through it trying to find the matching sock to the one she had in her left hand. When she finally caught sight of it she picked it up and folded them together.
'Molly?' Hermione prompted.
Molly sighed. 'I told him I wouldn't lie for him, but I did promise I wouldn't tell anyone where he was. I can't break a promise, Hermione, I can't.'
'And you know me well enough to know I wouldn't ask you to break a promise if I didn't need to talk to him, but I do, I really do. And…actually, you won't be breaking a promise, it was Ginny who told me he'd be in his little 'sanctuary' and you only told the truth; that he isn't in the house, so everything's fine and I can go and talk to him.'
Molly smiled.
'Is he angry about last night?' she asked.
'Yes he is,' Hermione replied simply, not wanting to provoke anymore questioning from Molly. 'I'd better go and find him.'
She turned to walk out of the kitchen.
'Not dressed like that you're not! It's freezing outside, you'll catch your death! Take my cloak!'
Hermione accepted the offer gratefully but half wished she hadn't after Molly also insisted she took a huge flask of hot chocolate and a small basket full of freshly made scones with her to warm them up and keep up their energy.
When she finally got away she started walking the path that was to take her to Ron's 'sanctuary', once she had walked across fields for five minutes beforehand. Ron's footsteps had broken the frozen grass and she walked through it without looking up, only concentrating on the boot prints leading her to her destination.
She walked up to the collection of trees, bushes and some very bizarre plants Hermione had never seen before. She circled it quietly, not wanting to give Ron any warning that she was coming to talk to him. After circling the green mound three times without finding a gap she could walk or crawl through, she decided there was only one thing she could do.
'Ron? Are you in there?' she said to the nearest hedge.
She thought she heard shuffling but it could have been the wind on any of the flora in front of her.
She sighed and was surprised to feel her eyes burn.
'Ron, please don't ignore me. I need to talk to you, we need to talk to each other.'
Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence and she coughed, trying to cover it up.
'I'm not ignoring you,' Ron said, although he sounded far off to Hermione.
'Can I come in?' she asked.
'Yeah.'
'Er…how?'
'You need to apparate in.'
'I need to what?' she asked disbelievingly.
Ron sighed, 'You need to apparate in. Don't worry there's a big clearing in the middle about three metres from where you are. It's easy enough.'
'Ron, I'm not sure about this. What if I apparate inside the bush or something!'
'Well, it's the only way in unless you want to crawl through three metres of hedge!'
'Okay fine! I'll do it.' She stepped a little nearer to the greenery. 'Just be ready to do some serious untangling!' she muttered to herself.
She took a deep breath and turned on the spot.
To her relief she appeared in the clearing and there was no untangling needed. She was confused as to why she couldn't see Ron.
'Hi,' he said quietly from directly behind her.
She stepped forward before turning round, not wanting to whip Ron with her hair. She looked at him and tried to figure out how he was feeling, but he was wearing the same non-descript facial expression he wore in the kitchen earlier, so she couldn't read him, the thought scared her slightly. She realised she was still holding the flask and small basket of scones; she looked at the floor and saw a piece of circular carpet.
'Wasn't that in the other shack?' she asked quietly, pointing to the navy blue carpet.
'Yeah it was, the edges got burnt so I cut it into a circle. It's clean if you to sit down or I can conjure you a chair if you want.'
'The floor's fine.'
Hermione sat herself down and stood the flask and basket next to her. Ron sat opposite her.
'Did mum give you those?'
'Who else?' Hermione replied with a half smile.
'How long did she last before she told you where I was?'
'Actually it was Ginny who knew where you'd be, I just went to the Burrow in case you hadn't braved the cold.'
'There's a reason why I came here you know; I needed time to think.'
Hermione was slightly put out by the comment.
'And there's a reason why I came here; we need to talk! And what's there to think about?'
Ron shrugged. 'Just stuff.'
Hermione sighed.
'So you looked at it then?' Ron asked.
Hermione looked directly into Ron's eyes.
'Yes. Yes I did.'
'And?' he asked.
Hermione's brow furrowed. 'And what?' she asked, slightly confused.
Ron shrugged. 'I dunno, you're the one who wanted to talk about it, so talk.'
Hermione felt tears burn her eyes again.
'Ron, why are you being like this?' she asked quietly whilst she stared at the floor.
'Like what?' he asked in the same tone.
'Distant! Abrupt! Rude! How many more do you want?'
She had raised her voice and the result was it broke. As she lowered her gaze back to the floor a tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away but not before Ron noticed.
The one tear wasn't the end of it though, now that she had started crying she wasn't able to stop. She hung her head and the tears fell thick and fast onto her lap.
She wasn't exactly sure why she was crying. She had coped with Ron's moods for years now and it didn't normally make her cry. She tried to blame it on exam stress and the fact that she was tired, but she was trying very hard to ignore the fact that she knew she had seen a flicker of fear and doubt in Ron's eyes when Flint was taunting him.
She heard Ron shuffle and was hoping and waiting for some physical contact of some kind off him, it didn't need to be a hug – no, that was a lie, that was exactly what she needed – but a hand on her shoulder would have been a start.
When she felt nothing in the next few seconds, and after her wave of tears had subsided she lifted her head and her eyes refocused. Ron had stood up and was facing the greenery he had been sat in front of.
'This is exactly why I didn't want you to see it,' he said quietly I knew it would upset you, why didn't you believe me? Everything would have been fine if everyone had just left it alone!'
'Everything would have been fine, would it?' Hermione asked, her upset quickly being replaced by anger. 'Ron, things were instantly different when you didn't come to bed last night.'
'I didn't want to disturb you!' Ron retorted loudly.
'Don't give me that rubbish!' Hermione shrieked as she stood up and faced Ron. 'You know damn well I sleep better with you next to me. I wouldn't have slept at all during the war if you hadn't been lying next to me. It didn't matter were we slept, whatever cave, hovel or shack we slept in I didn't care. I knew I'd be fine as long as you were there. As long as we were together I knew we'd be fine. So don't you dare stand there and tell me that you did it for my benefit!'
She hadn't meant to shout, but she couldn't help it.
'Fine!' Ron snapped. 'I didn't sleep in our room last night because I knew you'd ask questions about what happened and I didn't want to think about any of it!'
Hermione thought for a second. She realised she had two choices, she could either grab the bull by it's bright red hair and face the issue now or prance around for the next God knows how long wishing he'd breach the subject first, which she knew wasn't going to happen.
She raised her head and looked at Ron, he turned and looked at her.
'You believe him don't you,' she said in a whisper. Immediately she felt sick and her stomach started squirming.
Ron looked at her and looked shocked at the fact she had actually talked about the subject.
He didn't say anything but surprised himself when he looked into her eyes. His lack of response sent a shiver through Hermione.
'Oh God you believe him!' she managed to choke out. 'I can't believe you think I slept with Malfoy! Do you honestly think I would do that? Please tell me you don't…I…I don't think I'd be able to cope if you do.'
She felt physically sick. She started to shake slightly and felt she had to sit down before she fell down. Slowly she sat herself down and hugged her knees to her chest. Ron still said nothing.
'You could at least have the decency to answer me,' she spat bitterly.
Ron sighed. 'Okay, I will. But please don't interrupt me; I really don't want to have to say this more than once. You might not like it but it has to be said.'
Hermione glared at Ron but didn't trust herself to say anything rational, plus there was the fact that she might be sick if she opened her mouth. She merely nodded in agreement.
'Right, here goes…when…when Flint first said those things, I laughed it off in my head, not to his face, I thought I could blindside him by not reacting in the way he thought I would. Anyway, I was just standing there taking it all in, knowing he was lying and just throwing anything he could think at me to get a reaction.'
But…Hermione thought.
'But,' Ron continued, 'then something came to me, something Harry said to me, well, it wasn't just Harry, well…it was, he was the one who said it…but I realised it a few days after I'd got out of hospital too. You…you didn't leave my bedside for a week until someone physically dragged you away, and then, even when you started work you went to see me twice a day.'
Hermione was confused; she had no idea why Ron was bringing these…well…positive things up. She was sure there was a huge negative…something…about to knock every part of her to the floor, and she had a feeling she wasn't going to be able to get back up again.
'Basically I…I realised you…you would have done…anything to help me. I don't want to sound up myself or anything, but I know it's true. That's why things got to me… I…I know I shouldn't have punched him but I knew if I didn't I might have drawn my wand and done some real harm.'
Ron fell silent, his tale told. Hermione sat and finally understood, well, understand might be a bit over-the-top but she now had a reason for Ron's behaviour.
'Ron…I…oh, sorry, were you finished?' she asked quietly.
'Yeah, I think so. Carry on.'
'Thanks. You're right, in one sense anyway. At one point I was desperate, I would have done almost anything to wake you up, I needed you back with me. But as much as I wanted and needed you back I couldn't have done that, not that it was ever an option, but even so, I just…couldn't have. Thinking about it now…actually…I can't, it makes me feel sick. Everything that Flint told you about Malfoy and me was a lie, as you well know. I told you everything that happened in those few days, I wouldn't- I couldn't lie to you. And even if I could, do you honestly think Harry and Ginny would have been able to lie to you too? 'Cause you know they would have found out somehow. And just for the record, I don't blame you for hurting Flint, I know if the tables had been turned and someone had been saying hurtful lies about you then I would have done the same. I just didn't want you getting in trouble because you felt like you had to defend me.'
Ron looked at the floor and moved a fallen twig around with his boot.
'If you want me to go, then I will, I'll leave you to think if that's what you want. Just say the word,' Hermione said calmly.
'Don't go,' Ron said in a whisper.
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.
'I don't want you to go.'
'Then I won't go anywhere,' she said.
'Hermione I…' he couldn't finish his sentence, to his surprise he felt his eyes burn and a couple of tears run down his cheek. He held out his hand towards Hermione but without turning towards her. Instantly she stepped forward and took his hand. She was slightly taken aback as Ron pulled her towards him with force. He wrapped his arms around her and cried into her shoulder.
'Hey! What's all this for?' Hermione said quietly as she stroked Ron's hair.
'I…I…can you forgive me for thinking what I thought? I just know h…how much you give up for people you c…care for and I th…thought you might have done that for me…'
He started sobbing again.
'Shh…hey, calm down. Ron…I, look, I understand why you would think that, but you must know I could never do that, 'cause it would havedestroyed what we'd've had afterwards, and we wouldn't have been together. People might call that selfish, but I don't care. I needed you to be awake, but I needed you to be awake so I could be with you…Merlin that is selfish!'
Ron pulled back from Hermione and wiped his face with the back of his hand.
'Please don't ever stop being selfish if it means that. I didn't mean to…not trust you, I do, I should never have let what Flint said get to me, I can't believe how stupid I was. I'm sorry, I truly am. And I'm sorry I punched Flint too.'
Hermione smiled. 'There's no need to be sorry about that; I just hope for his sake that I don't see him any time soon. He won't know what hit him, the stupid bastard.'
Ron joined Hermione in a smile. He leaned forward cautiously and kissed her, he was pleased to feel her kiss him back.
When they broke apart Ron shivered.
'I think we'd better have some hot chocolate, you're mum'll kill me if you go back home cold. Can I just ask you one thing though?'
'Anything, I think I owe you that.'
'Well…how would us not talking about this helped? I know it was hard and it hurt, but you'd have gone mad without talking about it. Wouldn't you?'
' I suppose, I just didn't want to think about it. But I understand what you're saying; I'd still be feeling…unbelievably…wrong if we hadn't done this. As much as it hurt, it's good we did.'
'So, you'll talk to me from now on?'
'I will.'
'Good.'
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the nose. As she did she heard Ron's stomach rumble.
'Do you want a scone and some hot chocolate?'
'Do you even have to ask?'
