~Raife's POV~
I stood in front of the mirror glancing over my most expensive clothing in which I put on for today. It was the wedding suit I wore the day Christine and I got wed. Lucky to find it not ripped at any seem I put it on and sighed, today was going to be rough.
It was Paula's fault because Chris would never try and take my daughter away from me. She knew how much that little girl really meant to me. I knew that I would be worse off if it wasn't for her but after being in jail for a few days it was going to be a while before she came back over. This was fine by me as I wanted to clean my act up before seeing her again but after today I'm not so sure I will see her again.
"Should have done what I said," Eli slouched on my couch swallowing another gulp of beer as his blurry eyes focused on me. He was staring here since he was kicked out of the half way house and I would have said no if Ashley was coming over but I know that won't be for a while so thought it would be safe.
"What are you slurring about?"
He chuckled at this tipping the top of his beer bottle at me, "Taking that blonde bitches kid. Teach her a lesson,"
"What lesson is that?"
Eli leaned back on the couch, "No one messes with your kid."
Shaking my head I stared up at the ceiling thinking about his words. One thing about him was he could hold a great conversation with high or drunk and right now he was both. Licking my lips I dropped my graze back down to him, "She's their kid too."
Eli threw his hands up standing up a bit wobbly, "Call me when you man up."
He stumbled into the back room slamming the door and probably passing out on the couch. Sighing I walked to my beat up old car and drove to the court house an hour away from my apartment.
****
The building was large but than again it had to be for all the court rooms, jail holding rooms and the other assortment of rooms located in it. I was sitting in a hard wooden chair inside the court room where Judge Jenkins-Harlot presides, waiting for this trail to begin. My lawyer which was court appointed due to my lack of funds kept patting my back, I wasn't sure if I was trying to comfort me or to say he was sorry for losing in advanced but what ever it was it annoyed me to know end.
Paula, the devil incarnate, was sitting next to Christine who sat further to the left probably so she didn't have to see me. If she feels guilty, good, she should have thought about that before deciding to take it this far. All she needed to do was talk with me if she thought...well she didn't think she let the devil think for her.
As if she knew I was cursing her name Paula glared over to me which I gladly matched tenfold back until she scoffed glancing away and kissing Christine's temple. Biting my lip I turned back and tried to patiently wait for the judge to come in. Having done this a few times I knew it could take awhile, all judges are the same, arriving late and standing before us making everyone stand and sit as if they were gods themselves when we all know they hide behind the cloak from their own misdeeds.
"All rise for the honorable Judge Jenkins-Harlot," the security guard roared out causing everyone to stand.
Rolling my eyes I waited for the 'be seated' than sat down. My leg wouldn't stop shaking and my mind kept going over the times I had with Christine and Ashley. All the good times when Paula wasn't around, like the Christmas I got her the drums with the money I saved up from working double shifts. Took every penny I had but was well worth it even if it meant my rent was late.
"All rise,"
Shaking my head I watched as everyone stood up. Did I space out so much I missed the entire thing? My lawyer tugged my sleeve and I too stood up causing the judge to look at me.
"Due to the information presented here today I give fully custody over to Miss. Christine Davies,"
I think I just died.
My heat stopped beating...no wait it just thumped...but it hurts.
Hand rising I clutched at my shirt right where my heat is.
"Mr. Davies will have supervised visitations every other month on the second Saturday, if no one is available to watch the interaction it will skip to the third Saturday. If no one is still available than the visitation can be held off till the next time in the schedule, but that is only on rare cases, Miss. Davies you are not allowed to with hold his daughter from him."
I didn't care what the judge was saying. I wouldn't get alone time with my daughter, our special weekends over with. No more smiles, hugs, little giggles when I hold her at night and talk about the moon. Feeling in my whole body went numb.
Soon the judge dismissed us with out a single word uttered from me. I couldn't think let alone produce an argument on my behave, Paula and Christine hurried off quickly but Christine shot me a look of guilt and sadness and I even saw Paula give me a sympathetic glance and mouthed 'sorry'. I doubt she meant it.
Immediately I found my self at a bar. Downing wait ever I could afford before stumbling out and back home to find Eli holding a beer out to me as I crashed threw the door. We both dropped on the couch and I saw he had several liquor bottles full and waiting on the coffee table like he knew I was going to lose.
"It's her fault," I slurred unsure if he could understand me.
Eli grunted, "Your right man and I told you what to do."
My eyes grew heavier as we drank and drank, "No way not to Christine...not to Ashy," words never sounded so foreign to me as they did right that instant.
"Didn't seem to stop her from taking her away from you," he tapped my chest a bit roughly making me angry. I shoved him back but we were sitting so did nothing to affect the situation of us both sitting on the couch knocking them back.
Putting my head in my hands trying to shake off as much alcohol as possible, my head hurt, my heart hurt, hell my whole exists was hurting. Why did Christine have to do this? She's everything to me.
No...If she can't see what she is doing to me than I'll just have to make her understand! Grabbing my coat I rushed out the door and over to the house I used to visit and drop off Ashley and Spencer. Glaring I watched as Paula kissed Christine bye and drove off to where I'm not sure and could give a rats ass at this point.
Licking my lips I exited my vehicle looking both ways as I crossed the street into their yard. Checking to make sure no one was looking, once I was sure no one was I stood on tip toes, swaying a bit because of the alcohol but once I grabbed the edge of the wooden fence I was fine. Brown eyes danced along the back yard until I saw them playing in the sand box, Ashley was placing a bucket full of sand upside down while Spencer dug what seemed to be a moat around it.
"Girls' dinner will be ready in ten minutes," Christine called out the back door, "You need to go wash up."
"A few more minutes mama we have to name our castle," Ashley pleaded throwing in her classic head tilt and pout which instantly made Christine cave as it would any one else. Got to love the Daives' charm and she definitely inherited that from me.
"Fine but just three minutes than go wash your hands," the two girls' nodded than turned their attention on the castle trying to name it.
My breathing turned erratic as I pushed the gate open and carefully walked up to them keeping my eyes on the back door in case Christine decided to come back out. Ashley glanced up with a brilliant white smile on her face making my knees tremble and some of the alcohol haze lift from my blood stream.
"Daddy," she shouted but I hushed her and she giggled wrapping her arms around my neck, "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to see you," I kissed her cheek before side glancing the house but no one was coming out, "What are you guys doing?"
"Building a castle just like you should me," she took my hand walking me over to the castle with Spencer waddling along beside us.
"I wish I had a daddy to show me that," Spencer whispered looking a little teary eyed but blinking them away.
Swallowing the vile wanting to swim its way up my throat I bent down, "I'll tell you what...I'll be your daddy okay?"
She sucked her lip inwards in thought, "Can you?"
Blinking, I cocked my head to the house still seeing nothing, "Sure..." I smiled turning my attention back on her seeing her smile as well, "But since I'm the daddy I have to give you something."
"Like you gave Ashley the drums?"
"Yep,"
"Okay," she nodded eagerly taking my out stretched hand.
Ashley pouted taking a step forward, "I want to go,"
Now I really felt bile rising, sweat poured down my forehead as I leaned down, "You can't right now but..." I whispered in her ear and kissed her forehead hoping to see her again.
Taking Spencer I lead her out the gate into the front yard, making sure there was no one around I quickly picked her up and ran to the car putting her in the front seat buckling her up for safety before I got in and started the car.
"Where we going?" she wondered craning her neck out to see her house.
I didn't know where I was taking her or what I was doing. There was no way this was going to work. What would I do with a five year old girl? Sighing I turned the car off ready to take her back to the house when I heard Christine's panicked voice screaming Spencer's name. Quickly I turned the car back on and sped off. Looking in the rearview mirror I saw Christine running out the door but I knew she didn't see me.
"Daddy Raife?" Spencer's voice drifted into my fearful mine bringing me back to the fact I had a five year old kid in my car and one that did not in any sense belong to me.
Looking at her I saw her bright blue eyes water over, "Yes Spencie?"
"Why was mama yelling my name?"
My stomach twisted violently, clenching my teeth together in an attempt to stop the inevitable. I didn't know what to tell her. How do you tell the little girl she was kidnapped? Taken away from her family and the ones she loves? Maybe to never see them again?
Forcing a smile I looked down on her small form, "You like the snow?"
She nodded eagerly forgetting all about the little episode a moment ago. I told her we'd stop at my house before going up to the mountains to play in the snow.
"Spencer you want to play a little game?" she nodded with a smile. I unbuckled her, "Get on the floor."
"Why?" but she was already crawling down.
I forced yet another fake smile, "You're going to play hide and seek from all the people passing by,"
"I love hide and seek," she clapped her hands burying herself further under the dashboard.
"Okay now to win you can't let anyone see you till I get back okay?" she chewed on her lip with a smirk trying not to giggle.
"I can do that daddy Raife," she happily replied.
I locked the doors and ran up to the apartment to find Eli standing there with a bag in hand. He must have noticed the shock look on my face so he explained, "When you rushed out I knew where you went. Packed it just in case," he shrugged handing it over.
"Thanks,"
That was when it hit me. I kidnapped my ex wife's wife's daughter. Running to the bathroom I let what was left in my stomach flow into the toilet bowl, feeling all my muscles tense than relax. Groggily I stood holding onto the sink, turning the faucet on splashing hot water upon my face. Blinking as I stared at the reflection in the mirror only this time I didn't know who was staring back at me. This morning it was me and now...now I have no clue to what I've become.
"I know a guy," Eli stated from behind me causing my heart to thud as I spun around clutching my chest, "...deals with making a person disappear."
Looking down I tried to even out my breathing but nothing was working, I felt like any second I was going to pass out. Black boots appeared in my vision as his hand stuffed a piece of paper into my pants pocket.
"Better get going," he pushed me toward the door making sure he threw the bag he'd packed at me, "I'll take good care of the place."
Than I was locked out of my own apartment. Alone, afraid, guilty, nauseous, and horrified at myself I trudged back down to where I left Spencer. Unlocking the door I slid into the driver seat staring straight ahead until a tugging sensation washed over me. Closing my eyes and praying for it to be nothing I looked down to see Spencer with an uneasy smile.
"No one saw me," she whispered.
Patting the seat next to me she crawled back up and I buckled her in, "Good job Spencie,"
She beamed at this before settling into her seat more comfortably. Turning the ignition we began to drive. While on the freeway I dug into my pocket finding the address and information for Eli's guy. Turns out he is where the snow is so at least I wasn't lying to Spencer about taking her to the snow.
I pray everyone forgives me.
Especially Ashley.
But I'll be a better father now. Even if it isn't my own kid. I'll make sure she never suffers.
TBC...
