My Lover's Name Is Ramen

By Elli Cole

Naruto x Sakura

Warning: Crack fic.

It took her a long time to comprehend what was happening.

Long slurp.

Chuckle.

Nibble, nibble.

Laughter.

It was like a Naruto thing while he was eating his favorite food, ramen. She hadn't noticed it before but Naruto was seriously getting fat. His cheeks were fuller and his stomach was bulging out from his black suit. It was too heinous to ignore, Sakura frowned. He needs to exercise.

"Naruto," Sakura said sweetly. "Do you want to go on a diet?"

Birds chirped.

Trees swayed.

Naruto blinked and burst out laughing. He rubbed his eyes from the wet substance that started to form in his eyes and smiled at her joyously. "Thanks for the laugh, Sakura-chan. I needed that."

He stood up from his seat and left Sakura to ponder over the new development. Naruto didn't ask for another bowl. She slowly made her way towards the kitchen and watched the blond jonin stroll around the living room with a confused expression etched on his face.

Was he thinking about going on a diet?

She followed him inside the living room and sat down on one of the couches, watching him with an amused grin plastered on her lips. It took him some while but he finally turned to her and looked at her seriously.

"I'm not giving up ramen," he exclaimed. "Not now, not ever."

She rolled her eyes at him and scowled. "You are, Naruto. Now and forever."

He gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes at her. "No," he said firmly.

"No?" Sakura echoed irately. "It's either me or your ramen, Naruto—" He opened his mouth to retort but she cut him off. "—and no, you can't have both."

He pouted and crossed his arms across his chest. "Why are you so mean, Sakura-chan?" He whined and sat down beside her, taking her in his arms in a tight hug.

She smiled and giggled, forgetting about her anger. "I think the better question is why I ever married you?"

Naruto grinned and kissed her tenderly on the tip of her nose. She sighed. "But that's because you love me."

"And yet I question my sanity," she dryly replied, mirth present in her tone. "Who do you love more?" She teased.

"You or my ramen?" He asked. She nodded with a flutter of her lashes. "Ramen—"

—Sakura cracked her knuckles—

"—will always be second best after you, Sakura-chan!" Naruto chuckled nervously. Sakura smiled sweetly at him and hugged him back.

"Damn right."

oOo

End Note: This is only a NaruSaku crack fic. I'll make something romantic when I get the inspiration. Unfortunately, my muse ran away—eep! Please review and help me find my muse!