Okay thanks for all who have been adding my story to their alerts and favorites. I dont want to pressure you but..this story needs reviews people. I do not own twilight, if i did i'd be rolling around in my money with Edward.
The only way you can ever hope to be
loved is to stop asking for it and start
giving it; you only get love when you
give it to others.
BPOV
Fuck Fuck FUCK! I felt so damn stupid of course he'd have another girl. I slapped him I ran from him I didn't expect him to come back to me and beg me to love him. I was so stupid; I turned my face from the glances of my new friends.
"Doesn't Bella look fabulous?" Alice asked pushing me in the middle of all of them. I felt like I was in those bad dreams where you stand in the circle of clowns and their faces melt into bright colors as you spin endlessly looking for a freedom. I looked back at the crowd, I could easily hide there they would be too busy with their own lives. I quickly ran off with some lame excuse, I pushed my way into the dance floor but it was just so packed. I was pushed and grabbed by people who didn't know me once I got free of the dancing bodies I stood in the dining room; the large oak table was covered in shot glasses and some girl lying down with guys licking liquor off her. I turned away and took a deep breath; did this have to happen me?
I walked through the dining room and bumped into Mike.
"Hey Bella…" He smiled at me with a beer in his hand. "You look good!" he leaned hugging her tightly. She could smell the beer pouring off of him.
"Bella I want to introduce you to my friend. He's a great guy." Mike said dragging a tall dark and handsome figure from the crowd. He was tall with blonde hair and green eyes, he had the ken doll smile and body.
"Hey" I said looking at him with this goofy smile.
"Hey yourself." He whispered.
"So do you go to Forks High?"
"No I go to Lake Forest College I'm here as a visit to a friend."
"Wow…that's a long way to travel…" I looked at him.
"Yes, true but let me be honest I'm here to visit my mom." He spoke sheepishly.
"Ahhhh and I take it your mother is not in this party?"
"Nah but my old friends invited me."
"That's wonderful, so umm…." I looked down sadly.
"Well how about I get you a drink?" He looked down at me with a sexy smile.
"Sure" I said nodding over the loud music. I pushed my hair behind my ears as he led me to the crowded kitchen. We took shots with a bunch of guys and then soon they were calling me 'Hells Bells' I would giggle and take another shot. I was starting to feel woozy when the guy I had met put his hand on my shoulder and suggested a body shot. I nodded crazily for some reason unknown to me. The thought of a man I was actually attracted to holding my body closer to him…
I felt his tongue swirl on my neck bone and licking off the salt before dipping his head between my breasts for the vile. When he had completed the mission there was a bunch of cheers. I took someone's beer finishing the bottle.
"Here" my handsome college friend held out a cup for me.
"Thaaaaannnnkkkkk you" I said in a slur as I drank more of it. I leaned against the table when I saw Jacob and Seth standing at the door way looking around. I felt excitement shoot through me, I would be a La Push girl tonight not some lame Forks girl.
"Sethy!!! Jacobbbbiieeee!!" I sang as I skipped away from my new friend. I jumped into Jacob's arms as I giggled insanely.
"Bella?" He said to me looking slightly thrown off. He took my drink as I whimpered he sniffed it and made a face.
Leah looked at me. "I like your dress!" She said over the music.
"I like that you like this guy!" I yelled poking Jacob's chest. "He needs a good fu-"
"Bella!" Jacob growled at me as I felt his chest vibrate. I snuggled up to him feeling it slightly. He grabbed my arm tugging me toward the kitchen where my buddies were I heard a few chuckle about 'Hells Bells'.
Jacob pushed one of the guys out of the way to get a water bottle out of the cooler and continued to drag me outside to the back porch where it was vaguely empty. A few kids where smoking out there I inhaled deeply remembering that smell all so old to me. I smoked once long ago when the incident with Phil happened a friend offered me an escape. It didn't last long but I had escaped at least for a little while. I heard footsteps as Paul and Emmett scared the kids off.
"What did you drink?" Jacob said handing me the bottle after I sat down the world began to spun; he placed his burning hand on my forehead.
"Don't touch her" Rosalie hissed. I looked up and saw three of her as she spoke.
"Shut up." Leah seethed. I looked quickly at her but all I saw was her lips moving.
"Bitch who do you think you are." Rosalie lunged at her only to be caught by Emmett. The world was spinning to fast. I looked down at my opened bottle of water I had yet to drink.
"Babe…not here…" He whispered.
"Shut up!" Jacob said spinning back around, "All of you." Jacob rubbed his eyes slowly. "I come out for one quick party and I find this." Jacob growled.
"You weren't watching her…" Seth looked at Edward.
"None of us were…me especially…" Alice looked down sadly.
"She's drunk…" That did it for me, I was suppose to have tonight but so far all that's happened was Edward getting another date, my ass hole step father stepping back into my life, and now I wasn't allowed to drink. My mind melted with anger, they don't understand, my new friends would understand…my new buddy… I felt guilt hit me I left him alone in the party.
"Jacup! I am not drunk!" I said as sternly as I could, my arm swung back as I swung my water bottle at him almost wetting him, he jumped out of the way.
"Isabella Marie Swan!" Jacob said sternly to her. Marie…my grandmothers name, I looked down and felt small tears sting my eyes. Tonight would never get better.
"You're not my father Jacup!" I stood up and swayed fixing my dress a little. I looked at him but his skin was fading into the night's stars. My head spun and my wobbly legs carried me away from my safety, I would never be safe from the past no matter where I ran or who I met.
"Don't…" I heard Leah whisper something but I continued walking.
I came inside and looked around I saw my friends by a table drinking I walked quickly over to them as they cheered 'Hells Bells' I climbed on the table and began to dance. My legs were wobbly but I didn't care I began to loose myself as I felt arms pick me up.
Seth smiled at me as we danced. I had my eyes closed most of the dance, but when I looked at him, his face was so innocent so trusting. I seen him take a guys beer and took a sip of it while he danced. I looked over at my old lamer friends.
The Cullens. They sat with their other halves and Edward stood there looking around I wasn't sure he saw me. I turned and looked at Seth; I walked closer to him and grabbed his face kissing him our tongues swirled as his hands gripped at my hair. As I pulled away I grabbed the beer and went back to dancing as I drank. I was lost in my own little world as Jacob replaced Seth, he looked at me with worry but I kept dancing closing my eyes wishing that it would all change tonight.
I began to sing along to "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry. I looked at Edward who leaned against a chair. I frowned and begged him to dance with me.
Dannnnnccceee with me" I pleaded to him hoping that this devilishly good looking angel would hold me close.
"No."
"Pllleeeaasssseeeee?" I grabbed his hands as he followed me out to the floor and I began to let loose. I was jumping up and down and giggling, I looked over at him and touched Edward's shoulder and smiled. I grabbed a near by shot of a table and downed it, I looked at Edward and I felt my expression change. I knew what I was feeling; I wanted him to be mine. I leaned into him smelling in his scent, Edward looked down at me, I knew he wanted me too; he closed his eyes taking a deep breath.
"Edward Cullen." I looked up at him loosing myself in his eyes.
"Yes Bella?" He asked.
"Why are we playing this game?" I pretended to be Rosalie with all the confidence in the world.
"What are you talking about Bella?"
"Me…and you…this doggy and bone game." I rolled my eyes wasn't it obvious?
"You mean Cat and mouse game?"
"Yupppp" I laughed at his funny joke.
"Bella…let's not discuss this now."
"Your right." I pushed off him feeling a little hurt but I began to dance again I began screaming and hollering. Edward let out a small chuckle, it made my knees weak, and he grabbed my waist keeping me from falling. I began to dance around him as he stood as still as a statue, I let my fingers roam over his shoulders and his jaw, my thumb rest at his lips I felt so cold. I looked him dead in the eye and leaned in.
Once I kissed his lips my whole body shivered with intensity. He let out a small moan and I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He tasted so sweet like honey. He was so still at first but it was like he melted as he hugged my waist, he played with my tongue as his hands ran through my hair I heard the rubber band that held it in place snapped as the curls came falling down covering my back, he pulled my hair and I let out a squeal as desire raged inside of me. I did not feel this with any one, not in my whole life no one had made me feel this much like a woman. I began to giggle in happiness as he grazed my chin and neck with steel kisses, his tongue made circles on my neck. I began to shiver with pleasure. Suddenly he stopped he pulled away our eyes met, mine full of confusion and his full of pain and disappeared in the crowd. My heart fell, my head spun why? Why did he always run from me? Was I not as good as the other girls? I felt my knees buckled in sadness and I sat on the floor in the middle of the dancing. No one made me feel so hot like he did, even when Phil hovered over me when he would rape me or as he told me "Bonding" with me I never felt the desire I had felt when Edward kissed me. I hated myself because I barely knew him , all I knew was that he partied a lot, was absolutely gorgeous and he was the biggest womanizer in this school.
I felt hands on my waist I looked up to see my friend again. "Hey Hells Bells where did you run off to?" I giggled as he pulled me to my feet. "You know your too drunk when you sit on the dance floor."
I nodded slowly feeling to weak to talk.
"Did you want to go some where I can watch you?"
I nodded again as he pulled me by the hand up to the bed rooms. He opened the seventh door on the left, the room was cold an air conditioner rattled. I wasn't sure why it was on but I shrugged it off, the room had pink walls and white furniture the queen size bed had pink sheets with blue bunnies on it. Every inch of the room was covered with poster of Hannah Montana posters. I giggled as it was clearly a girl's bed room.
"I know it's not the best but it's not like we are going to look at the walls." he grabbed my face kissing me as hard as he could. My hands ran through his hair as he began to push me toward the bed his lips never leaving mine. I was laid on the bed as his hands slid up my thigh, his lips kissing my neck I moaned as his hand touched my thong.
"Oh baby." He whispered. I looked up at the wall and I froze, this was just like my bed room in Phoenix. I was laying the same way I was laying when Phil came in. I felt a finger push inside of me I let out a cry but his lips covered mine.
This was like a rerun of a bad show. I began to riffle under him as the door busted open.
"Get the fuck off of her!" Jacob growled. I saw Jacob standing there but I felt the weight of the man being lifted off of me. I felt the cool breeze of the air hitting my exposed body, my dressed was hiked up and my thong was soaked. I felt Jacob pull down my dress and sit down next to me he grabbed my face.
"Bella are you okay?" He looked at me with his chocolate brown eyes. My eyes drifted toward the grunts in the room but Jacob snapped his fingers. "Don't look over there Bella. Look at me." I looked at him then quickly stole a glance of Edward holding the guy against the dresser letting his fist connect to his face over and over again. The guy was slightly falling into a sleep. I looked back at Jacob alarmed, who looked at me with comfort.
The man hit the floor and walked toward me placing his hand on my shoulder. I shivered when this happened, damn that air conditioner. "Isabella? Are you okay?" I looked at his topaz eyes lost for words and looked back at Jacob. My eyes darted back to Edward; the last thing I remember was squeezing both of their hands tight before I passed out.
I awoke with Jacob snoring in my ear. I opened my eyes weakly and looked around; I had some how magically appeared in my room early morning. I sat up and looked down at my floor and let out the loudest laugh ever possible. To my left was Jacob in his clothes curled with the pillow, to my right was Charlie with his service pistol in hand but I knew he would never pull that out with Jacob around so when I looked at the rocking chair across my room there sat Edward his eyes slightly closed.
I covered my mouth to muffle my giggles, but then to hold back the vomit that crawled up my throat. I looked at my end table and saw that it was early, 5:00 a.m. I pulled back the covers and I was still dressed in my party outfit, I got up and tiptoed to my closet I pulled out a pair of gray sweats and a purple spaghetti strap shirt. I pulled out my fuzzy bunny slippers and snuck into the bathroom.
After a few minutes of puking, I took a shower and emerged I got dress quickly I combed my brown hair, I pulled it up in a quick pony tail a few strands falling down. I slipped on my slippers and tip toed to the kitchen I turned on the stove as I started the eggs and bacon. I was thinking quietly to myself, all that happened I just seemed to attract trouble and no it wasn't no almost get hit by a car trouble it was the rape kind of trouble. I looked down at the eggs and turned around to get some sausages when Edward was suddenly behind me holding them. He smiled at me brightly, "Morning love."
I blinked quickly and smiled. "Love?"
"It's a term of endearment."
"Oh…so leaving me alone drunk at a party must be what? A marriage proposal?" I said yanking the sausages from him.
"Bella I…"
"Yes you're horribly sorry, what ever. Look I don't get you one minute you hate me the next minute your being sweet to me. Your mood swings are going to give me whiplash."
"Bella…"
"Look Edward what ever you have to say, say it to Carmen, say it to some one who cares enough to listen to you."
"Bella…listen to me…"
"Edward just shut up." I turned to walk to the drawer that held oven mitts when I was pushed against it.
"I've been trying to tell you something since I came down here." His hand covered my mouth as he whispered in my ear. My stomach was pushing into the cabinet. "Bella, you drive me insane I don't know what you're thinking and I'm constantly second guessing my actions. I don't like being the unsure one, I hate that you're different but I love that you're unique. I like you so much it makes me wonder that if what happened between Victoria and I only happened so I could be closer to you."
His cold hand left my face and I turned to look at him. "I hate you for messing with me."
"Do you Bella? Do you hate me? You shared a deepest secret with me…do you hate me?"
I stood in silence refusing to let him win. He looked at me with his golden eyes, he reached up and grabbed my face gently and leaned in to me. His skin was like ice and I wasn't sure if that was due to him sleeping by my window.
His lips are hard but so gentle; his tongue caressed my bottom lip. I was so lost in it I didn't hear Jacob come down.
"The eggs are going to burn if you keep cooking that way." He was looking down at his feet and Edward stepped away looking at him. I hurried to the stove turning it off.
"Where's Charlie?" I asked out of breath.
"Sleeping with his pistol by your bed still." Jacob whispered. He grabbed a piece of bacon off the skillet and walked to the table and sat down.
Edward looked down and then back up at Jacob. Jacob looked at him, they had a silent conversation. "Bella…it seems that Jacob has a problem with me being here. I guess I will continue this conversation later with you."
He leaned in and kissed my cheek. I felt my hand fly up to the cold spot as he walked out, I heard the door close silently and looked at Jacob.
"I didn't get a chance to tell you." I said sitting in front of him. "Thank you for last night if you didn't come to that party who knows what would have happened."
He let out a low growl as he thought back to last night. "Bella, I will never hate saving you. I will never leave you at risk but I'm going to say this just once." He leaned forward placing his burning hot hand on mine. "If these Cullens are your great friends, why weren't they there for you?"
"They were." I said standing up ripping my hand from his.
He stood up and shook his head, "Fine Bella do what you want." He walked towards me and hovered over me. "But if I didn't step into that party do you think they would have been alarmed by your drinking? They didn't seem to be before I stepped in."
"You don't get it…" I whispered.
"I'm so sick of hearing that. I understand a lot Bella a lot more then you. I think I better go it's about time I get home to my family." He stalked out of the house.
I sighed and looked back at the stove. I felt annoyance lace through out my whole body. I ran up the stairs to my room, "Charlie." I called from the crack in the door.
He jumped up. "Yes Bella?"
"Breakfast is ready." I sighed.
"About last night." He declared as he shoveled eggs in his mouth.
I never have known him to be this talkative. "Just some stupid party…"
"Jacob explained it all to me… I just wanted to know were you slipped the alcohol or did you take it willingly?"
"I drank on my own terms."
"Ok…look I've seen what beer can do to kids Bella. I watched it take Jacob's mother and sister; I watched it put Billy into a wheel chair." He leaned toward me. "Bella for the next three months you're grounded."
I nodded looking away.
"But I got to give it to you Bella two boys? Yesh can you give me one heart attack at a time?"
"What do you mean?"
"When I came back from laying you in the bed, Jacob and that pale boy were arguing over who stayed here with you. They finally landed on an agreement to both stay."
"With Jacob there you didn't need to sleep on the floor with your pistol."
"I know Bella. But it was Jacob who begged me too."
I let out a snort of laughter as I thought about it. I stood up and looked at my father shoveling eggs into his mouth. I walked over to him and pushed my lips to his forehead. "Thank you dad."
"Well umm…anytime Bells." He stood with his plate in hand, "I'm going to watch the sport highlights in the living room." I watched him run out and sat in his chair and looked around the grey kitchen. Maybe I just had to put this whole ugly past behind me, I could start brand new.
END POV
EPOV
I walked into the house early morning I saw Emmett playing dance dance revolution with Alice. I walked towards my room when I was stopped by Esme.
"Edward…" She said looking at me.
"I'm sorry Esme for staying out all night but…"
"Alice explained it." Esme said softly. She placed her hand on my cheek and looked at me. "Were going to have a talk soon."
I looked at her and searched her brain for clues but came up with nothing. She floated away; I smiled as I heard Emmett scream.
"YOU CHEATING LITTLE PIXIE!" I heard Alice's soft giggle. I waltzed into the living room and saw Emmett on the floor trying to untie his shoelaces that seemed to be tied to one another. Rosalie and Jasper had been on the floor laughing when I entered.
"Morning Edward." Jasper looked at me.
"Where were you?" Rosalie said raising her eyebrows.
"Watching Bella."
"I know I can tell." Emmett said standing looking back at three culprits. "You smell like dog."
"Thanks." I said laughing.
I watched as Emmett demanded a new partner. Jasper rose up and took Alice's place after kissing her lightly on the cheek. I stood in the door way and watched as Carlisle walked into the room with Esme, he laughed along with the girls. I looked at each of them and suddenly felt different.
Ever since Victoria there had been this strange fog in my life. I felt as if I had been heart broken which was impossible because my heart had stopped working long ago. I looked at all of them, and I smiled I had did all I could to raise my spirits and to bring me to 'life' smoking, partying, even all the girls I could go though. None of these efforts prevailed. Then I met Bella, when I first saw her she was just another face in the crowd. Then in biology her smell was so sweet I almost snapped her neck right there. She brought out savage parts of me that had been hiding for years now. I felt out of control around her but I had all the control to not kill her. She made each day interesting and last night when she confided in me about her step father. I felt protective of her, I still do last night the thought of that man…I liked Bella a lot. Maybe I should ask out on a real date.
I paid attention to my family again. I had been a struggle to be around and they stood by my side the entire time. I was thankful for them; I looked at my feet and stepped forward.
"I play winner" I sat down next to Esme who squeezed my hand.
I sat in front the piano, I was tired. I spent all day with my family as we played games. My fingers touched the pale white keys; they reminded me of Bella, so smooth and pale. I stood up again and began to pace, I had to tell Bella what I was. I trusted her and soon she would get suspicious when I couldn't hang out with her in the sun, or why my skin was so stone cold. I listened to thoughts of the house; Esme knitted a small blanket while Carlisle was reading the news paper. They joked lightly about the news.
Rose sat in her useless bed with Emmett sprawled over her legs, she was stroking his hair as she read a romance novel to him. He closed his eyes as the story deepened with romance. I switched my mind on Alice and Jasper who was lightly talking about Bella.
"Jasper some thing isn't right about her." Alice whispered to her mate.
"What is it babe?" Jasper said kissing her head.
"Edward can't read her mind and I barely see vision with her in them. When I do it's because some one else is involved and I read their future."
"That doesn't mean anything babe, maybe Edward is just frazzled over his lust for her and maybe that fact she hangs out with werewolves blocks your vision." He ran his hands over her back rubbing lightly.
"I know but Jazz…you couldn't control her emotions. I love Isabella and she's a beautiful soul, but something is wrong."
"Relax honey, how about we go for a walk?" Jasper grabbed her waist.
I flicked my mind away and began to think about what Alice had said. She couldn't see Bella in her visions? Why hadn't she said anything about it…I thought back to the day when I thought there was a problem on her mind but she had quickly changed her train of thought. I needed to see Bella, Alice was right something was off.
I stood outside her window; the tree branch seemed to sway under me. I felt uneasy, what if she woke up? I pulled at the window, I felt it raise then stop. I growled in anger I looked at the screws on the lock I wish I could reach them. I looked to the right and saw another window; I looked at the slanted roof on the house. I sighed as I jumped up latching onto the gutters; I pulled myself gracefully to the top lying on my stomach so no one would see me. I looked around and saw Charlie's window, I decided against going into his room.
I shuddered as I thought about when he stayed with us last night wielding his gun when Bella was drunk. True Jacob had asked, but if he felt he needed to use it I would have to explain why the bullet just barely did anything. I snuck around to the other side of the house and looked down and saw the opened windows, I frowned there was no tree for me to stand on to get in. I looked at the distance, ah what the hell? It's not like I can die.
I swung my legs over the edge and held on to the gutter I took a small unnecessary deep breath before I let the go of the gutter. The gray paint on the house flew pass me as I grabbed on to the window sill. I smiled as I climbed in I laid on the floor surveying my surrounding, I was in the hallway that was good. I sighed as I realized the 5 closed doors, now I just had to find out which one was Bella's room. True if I thought about the direction of her window I could probably get it right. Doing that only ruled out two of the five. I pressed my stone ear to one of the doors, I heard nothing. I took this as a victory I remembered that I would never hear Bell's thoughts which meant that silence was most likely her. I snuck over to the other door and heard thoughts, dreams, about a woman named Renee. I smiled fully knowing the woman and how wonderful she looked, but my heart felt pain. This woman brought in a monster and literally served her daughter to him. On top of it all she was fighting off the monster that fed on her. I crept along the wall and I heard more silence but soft breaths. I smiled as I snuck into her room I closed the door lightly but I wound up leaning against it, her smell covered the whole room, my throat almost busted with thirst.
I crept back to my chair that I had held earlier. I looked at her peacefully; she laid with her hair strung out over her pillow. Her mouth closed her pink lips in a small pout; she groaned and turned over the blanket sliding off her shoulders. She wore a green shirt I could tell the much, I flew to her side kneeling. She looked gorgeous, she groaned again.
"Edward…"
I jumped back and looked down shamefully I had been caught; she was going to call me a stalker and call her father into this room. He would shoot me and when I didn't fall to my knees in a bloody mess she'd call me a beast or a freak and have me sent to the nearest science lab where my family would look at me with disgust for blowing our secret. The Volturi would kill the Cullen family and it will all be because I had to watch her sleep and had to find out what I was feeling.
It dawned on Edward that in the time it took him to think of that small scenario it should have been happening. Bella should have said something, he looked down and saw her eyes were still shut and the house was still at a slumber.
He smiled so that meant she was dreaming of him. He smiled with pride but it disappeared, what did that mean? She liked him? Why did it make him so happy? Did he like her? It was absurd he hadn't loved in years, about sixty to be exact. He shook his head; there was no way some one like him could love again. After all he has done in his life, all the shame he felt each day each girl. Some how he never changed his ways each girl came around and he hoped after he rolled off of her he would feel the longing he need.
Sleeping with girls was not easy for him, he always made sure they did it in a shower, and if they had sex under warm water he would blamed the cold on the air hitting his wet body. Winter was the best season for him; he had an excuse when they whined about the chill. He had thought up of many ways and yet each girl whined he found away from his business to be done and leave.
I shook my head from my thinking. I didn't want those girls in my mind right now they meant nothing compared to this woman before him. At first his lust was driven by the mystery of her mind now my admiration was driven by her kindness, no matter how much I screwed up she saw in me in a same new light she saw any one else in. I loved that she could trust me, I loved that she confided in me.
I loved her
I took a step back. No no no I did not do this. I didn't do relationships I didn't do them because they never wound up good. I didn't do relationships especially with girls I wanted to eat. I turned around and looked at the window and growled. Love for teenagers was a difficult matter, which much I knew. For back when I was alive and my heart had a beat I had gone through many heart breaks and broke many hearts. No one was my perfect fit, now my heart dead and cold had thought it found its match with a fiery woman named Victoria. She was wonderful, her laugh her smile we were almost great together. I knew it held a small spark not enough to start a forest fire but enough to please me.
Sixty long years later here I stood. In another female's room like I did so many other nights but this time was different. I wasn't naked for one thing, and it was not a visit for sex. I just needed to see Bella I needed to know she was still there. Sure I see in the morning, it would be Monday. She wouldn't look like she did now, she wouldn't look at ease.
She turned over once more. My mind burned with thoughts, I couldn't stop myself when I made an ass out of myself. With Bella I didn't know how to act I couldn't read her mind. I didn't fall in love I was suppose to be the 'Master of Women' as the guys called me. Could I bare the shame of admitting I loved someone? Would she let me? Would she hurt me? More importantly could she make me leave that title behind?
I walked closer I was going to take a dare. I was going to take the leap of faith, after all I couldn't die. I leaned closer to her searching her face.
Did I truly love her?
I leaned in and pressed my lips to her soft ones. Her body stiffened as she awoke and I felt her hand move and I closed my eyes enjoying the danger of this kiss.
Then it hit me.
Well more like she hit me. Hard. If I wasn't made of steel it would have hurt. I brought my hand to my face cupping it softly. I looked bewildered at her as she sat up shaking her knuckle. She looked up at me in amazement. She looked behind me at her half opened window and threw the blanket off of her.
Green shorts. I chuckled as she looked confused. Her hair was a little messy but it looked sexy on her. She softly crept toward me, she looked so lost.
"What are you doing here?" She whispered.
"I had to see you." I whispered as emotions painted through her face.
"Why?" She spoke softly cradling her throbbing hand.
"I just needed to see you Isabella."
"Edward why couldn't you wait till tomorrow?"
I grabbed her hand and led her to the bed as I sat she stopped in her tracks.
"You want me to sleep with you?"
I growled in anger. "Bella if I wanted to fuck you I would of said so."
She sat down next to me sighing. As I took her hand in mine and I kissed it lightly, she flexed her fingers under my lips.
"Why are you so cold?"
"Outside is cold."
"Why is your face so hard?" she said shaking her hand in pain once more.
"Because I'm hard headed."
She opened up her mouth.
"Why do I have big eyes? The better to see you with my dear. Why do I have such big teeth? The better to eat you with my dear." I said mocking the children's fairy tale. I shuddered at the last statement though.
She smiled and giggled. She looked at me once more and looked down. Even in the moon light I could see her blush. She looked at the clock.
"It's 2:30 in the morning…" she whispered looking back at me.
"Yea and now why did you punch me?"
"After all I've been through it's not smart to kiss me in my sleep."
I chuckled. We stared at each other and leaned in automatically. Our lips danced along with each other once more. Before I knew it she was pulling me by my shirt on top of her, her hands flew through my hair and my hands traveled her sides. I pulled away breathing heavily, she looked at me confused as I climbed off of her.
"So…nice weather we are having?" I squeaked looking out the window.
She sat up and looked at me questioning. "You're asking me about the weather? Now?"
"I don't want sex Bella."
"You show up in my room by my bed at 2:30 in the morning and you're telling me it's not for sex?"
"No….Yes… I don't know." I put my head in my hands. "Bella…" I said.
She lay back against her pillow like she was when I first came in. I scooted to the middle of the bed staring at her brown eyes.
"I made mistakes in this relationship. Truthfully you scare me…" I was cut off.
"Edward I don't punch that hard."
I stared at her and chuckled. "I know you don't." I rubbed my jaw.
"Besides I scare you? You're the one with the scary looks and breaking into my house at night…again"
"I didn't break in last time you let me in."
"It was raining!"
"You still let me in."
"Okay were you saying something?" She rolled her eyes obviously aware of her loosing.
"I don't know how to act with you. Victoria was the only woman I ever had a relationship with, the only woman I ever wanted to have a relationship with. Now…I meet you and I feel that feeling again."
"With all the girls you dated?"
"I never dated any of them."
"Ok…fine my bad, with all the girls you fucked?"
"Bella please…"
"Sorry."
"I don't want that any more I don't want loads of beautiful women throwing their chest in my face, I don't want the shameless loads of woman begging me to fuck them. I don't want to hop from bed to bed sleeping with girls with bodies I don't want-"
"Ok Casanova I don't need that much of a fucking picture…"
"Sorry"
"Whatever"
"Bella I want to be with you. I want to test to this out."
"Uhh…" She said shakily.
I leaned forward kissing her gently. "Bella…be with me as my girl friend."
"Edward…I don't know what to say…"
"You could say yes…" I looked at her feeling stupid. I felt like a fool.
"Edward…maybe you should leave…" She looked at me. Then at the floor.
I sat there a little stunned. Wait did she say what I thought she said? Was this the same Bella that kissed me like she did? Now she was saying no to me? Asking me to leave? I waited to see anything on her face like pain, maybe regret maybe even fear. Then I would know she was scared too, but I saw nothing. Just sleepiness and annoyance. The same look I gave girls when they asked me to be there in the morning when they awoke. The same look Victoria gave me when she left.
I felt that same feeling I had that night Victoria left. I turned my head away from her and closed my eyes I removed myself from the bed. I looked at her one last time and I choked out. "I'm sorry Isabella for disturbing your sleep." I stalked out of her room. I would have given anything to read her mind to find out why she did what she did. Then I realized I didn't want to know, because I didn't care.
I opened the window and just jumped out not caring about anything.
I love Isabella Swan but she did not return it. Suddenly all too suddenly I hated her for doing this to me to proving to be that every woman was the same, when I give them the chance they would hurt me.
Yikes... okay you all can start bashing Bella now. I know your alittle confused with her rejection but her thoughts about him. It will be clear soon, maybe in the next chapter Edward dates a new girl, maybe she'll find out what exactly Edward is.
