This was another pain. I did my best so none were if they are, I apologize in advance.. and thank you for putting up with my thsi fic so far.
DISCLAIMER: NARUTO isn't mine, its Kishi's.
"We should get married." It was Gaara's sudden proposal.
"What?" came Hinata's soft and surprised voice, looking at her partner.
"I said, we should get married." He was serious.
"I…", Hinata was trailing off… She is uncertain.
"You should think about it." He was serious. Dead serious.
He turned towards her and hugged her against his chest. Both were clad only in bed sheets as the afterglow of their recent lovemaking recedes. The Kazakage and the Hyuga Head had just started to rebuild their relationship after a year and half of breaking-up.
For a relationship that had been through the scrutiny of Clan Elders, Village Councils, family members and friends, Gaara and Hinata's long-distance affair sailed fairly well during its first few years. They would meet from time to time, whenever schedules would permit as well as during official affairs as invited. They constantly corresponds to keep up with each other's everyday life. Despite infrequent visits and meet-ups, the two showed considerable happiness and contentment, or at least with what they were capable and allowed to show.
However, like every relationship, the strife came shortly before their third year of officially being together. That year was cruel. Hinata experienced something so painful that would encompass even Gaara.
More than a year before the break-up, the hard-working clan head finally achieved a breakthrough on her research for the branch seal and was ready to test it out. She aimed for the removal of the remaining seals before replacing a new one for the protection of the Byakugan. The new seal, however, as Hinata hoped, would not be visible and would not segregate the family. She proposed that everyone receive an invisible seal that would deactivate the Byakugan eye upon death. She reasoned that the price their eyes got was due to the fact that it could be a precious war prize and they were primarily sought after because it could still be used even after death. This proposal, was not readily accepted and was still at the table with the elders for further scrutiny.
Busying herself with research for solution, Hinata travelled over the different nations to gather information to possibly find a replacement on the bothersome seal. She traced the Hyuga family history that took a lot of her time and energy. After sometime, a promising seal was discovered that she gladly brought home. Working with the Hokage, top officials of Konoha and selected Hyuga members, Hinata prepared the seal for trial. Since they cannot forgo human trials, Ko volunteered himself to be the guinea pig for his lifelong Lady Hinata. He assured her that he trusted her and whatever happens, he would always be glad for serving her. Since it was the first time it would be used, Hinata was reluctant but proceeded anyway.
And like the looming feeling in the gut whenever something's bound to go wrong, the clan leader almost puked on the spot when upon placing the new seal, her beloved protector and servant Ko, curled-up, jerked, cried in pain and shook before finally dying. His white eyes dried up and according to autopsy performed later, so was his brain.
Although had been assured and comforted by everyone, Hinata went down into a spiral of depression and overwhelming guilt. Naruto, her Rookie friends, Hiashi and Hanabi tried to comfort her.
Upon hearing the news, the Kazekage packed his things and filed an indefinite leave on his post and travelled to Konoha. He trusted Hinata and her ability to cope with anything aside from this sort incidents. He could only imagine the state of his lover when even he, was refused appearance by the miserable Hyuga. Out of sheer worry, Gaara forced himself unto Hinata's room to find her curled-up in a ball on the floor. Dark lines underneath her once shining milky eyes and face devoid of hope and purpose.
The Kazekage's heart broke then and there with the sight of his beloved. He never knew his heart could ache for someone else's pain like what he felt that time. He didn't know what to do as Hinata sobbed and screamed and get violent over her failure. Honestly, Gaara has never seen Hinata so, dare he say, ugly. She was not just physically unkempt but also emotionally unstable.
At some point, Hiashi had to disable her chakra points just to prevent her from hurting anyone. Well, Gaara was almost always at the line of Hinata's possible Jyuken attacks but he has his sand armor that recognizes Hinata. Later and without the Kazekage's conscious will, that same sand armour crawled unto Hinata's skin, as if trying to protect her from a physical attack that was suppose to come. Gaara soon realized that it was his unspoken feelings of helplessness towards his lover's condition that triggered the action to envelope and protect her from harm. Of course, what they're dealing at the moment cannot be repelled by any sand armour Gaara could provide. This made him really sad and angry at the same time.
After two weeks, Hinata had started to be normal, at least with herself and brief encounters with others. There were still crying spells and occasional anxiety attacks but were at more manageable rate. She had apologized to Gaara and the council for her behaviour had requested that she be relived of her clan duties, at least for a few months. With that opportunity, the Kazekage wasted no time in offering his home to her for a needed time away from Konoha. Hinata accepted the offer and departed with Gaara the following day.
Although Hinata seemed to be back to normal, Gaara knew better. His lover is beyond okay. Her entire three months of stay in Suna were comprised of incidents where Gaara and his siblings trying everything to cheer Hinata up, which, the latter would accept for a time being before sulking again. Entire. Three Months.
As excruciating as the task was, the Kazekage has reminded himself that Hinata is undergoing something at the moment and he needs to be understanding. So, after her permitted three-month vacation in Suna, Hinata came back to Konoha, seemingly unchanged.
Gaara put up with it, her fits, her depression and neglect. He is a patient man for he had learned this from Shukaku on his early years, but a man could only take so much. He felt that Hinata wasn't even trying to help herself move-on and start over. She just stayed where she was, regretting everything over and over again. Actually, everything, her garden, her project and even the research on the seal were disregarded as Hinata continued to pity herself.
Then, during one of his visits, more than a year after the incident, he lost it. He just lost his cool and decided that whatever's happening should be enough. That Hinata should snap out of it and start working. That she should help herself because he was at his limit. That he was getting tired and irritated by her pathetic display.
The Kazekage felt relieved once those words actually reached Hinata. At first, she did not responded, nor moved. Then, in a split second, her palm was in Gaara's cheeks, sporting cracks on his sand armour. He never expected that. But at least Hinata responded, he thought.
If Gaara didn't expected the slap, the next one was far beyond his imagination. With few words, Hinata broke-up with him, said goodbye and left him alone.
He couldn't believe what just happened. Hinata left him. She left him, despite his efforts to comfort her and bring her back to her feet. Despite his patience and love that he felt unrequited during the past year of this struggle. Despite his sacrifices! She dared do this to him?
At first, he thought of running after Hinata. This should be a misunderstanding. But realizing the implications of his thought, he changed his mind. The change in mind also changed something in Gaara. Something snapped.
With full fury and leaking killing intent out of anger, Gaara stormed out of the Hyuga compound and into the Hokage's office, demanding audience and later a spar. He was so full of rage that Naruto had to call for back-up to subdue and calm him down. Once exhausted, tied down and alone with his sunny bestfriend, Gaara silently wept his frustrations away…
The following months were spent, basically him trying to forget the Hyuga. He decided to let his pride take over. Despite several advices and suggestions from friends, he never went back to Konoha to talk to Hinata. He did not even answered correspondence related to the matter. He conducted himself and his Kage duties with the usual manner. If she didn't want him, then so be it.
Hinata, on the other hand had come to her senses and was in-conflict with herself on what she was supposed to do. She can't bring herself go to Suna and chase after Gaara after what she did. However, she had regained her previous position as well as assignment and projects. Step by step, she recollected herself and finally stood up.
The Hyuga Leader had also managed to visit Ko's grave, finally letting her guilt go with a prayer of closure. She received constant counselling from friends and recommended professional to finally deal with the incident. Unfortunately, despite all her effort to return to normal and fix everything, Hinata can't seem to get herself to fix what used to bind her and Gaara. And already, more than a year had passed.
But fate has other plans for her and her former lover. In an inter-village gathering where Hinata was sure through her sources that the Kazekage would not attend, the beautiful clan leader came face to face again with the Kazekage, with a woman, Matsuri, as his official consort for the night. She herself was towed by Naruto as partner and just agreed given the information that Gaara wouldn't be attending.
Civil greeting were exchanged after a formal introduction that the Kazekage was officially dating his former student. The woman in question held an unsure look as she gave the ex a good eyeing which Hinata couldn't even read. She was never close to the Sand Kunoichi in the first place so she accepted the indifference and ignored those judging hazel eyes.
What she couldn't ignore, however, were those glowing teal eyes boring into her soul, seemingly mocking her. She could sense lingering anger and contempt directed towards her as she wasn't unable to keep her gaze to the Sand leader. Luckily, Naruto sensed the thickening atmosphere and decided it was probably a mistake to let the two meet so he moved Hinata away. He kept Hinata occupied throughout the affair and had done his best to lighten the dampen mood of the latter. Hinata was oozing with guilt, and Naruto felt it.
On the other hand, Gaara had successfully masked the storm brewing in his chest as soon as he sensed her familiar chakra in the place, minutes before they finally met. As if on cue, his current lover sensed the growing tension and had clung tighter to him as if asserting dominance over who owns who at that point. The stoic Kazekage had to put an effort not to pry the clinging Matsuri off him when she had held tighter for comfort. But sensing his annoyance, the former pupil eventually let go, feeling dejected and disappointed that her plans for a romantic evening outside Suna was ruined because of Hinata.
Fate's plan completely came into climax when at the middle of the same night, while Hinata was trying to find her room on the assigned hotel for the guest, she locked eyes with the one person she wished she couldn't see anymore: the reason of guilt that eats her every day.
He thought he was angry. He thought he was given a chance to finally let go of the things bottled up inside of him against his former lover. He thought he could mock and insult her for once, leaving all his formalities and learned control. He thought he could hurt her, even for just a little bit. He had thoughts so many things that time, but mostly, out of contempt for the Hyuga.
Oh how wrong he was.
Gaara wasn't complete aware what happened, but he was sure he was the one who made the first move. Upon locking eyes with her for god-knows how long, he suddenly approached her from the end of the hall, like a predator stalking his prey. Then, without a word, he scooped her up and teleported unto the woods, away from the hotel. Hinata, as shocked and terrified as she was with the events, obeyed and meekly let herself unto the situation. She decided that whatever Gaara was planning on doing, she'd let him. She owed him so much.
Then it started. With careful rising tension, Gaara started his interrogation, his questioning, his rant. Slowly, he let his anger surface for Hinata to feel. He decided she should get a peak on what she had put him through. He let everything happen while maintaining his distance and keeping a cold presence. He could sense Hinata's fear with his display of contradictions and he thought enjoyed it. And as promised, Hinata listened and took everything in. The Kazekage made sure that she listened and stayed. She did.
They were not sure how long the confrontation last, but when Gaara was finished, he could swore that he spent a good amount of chakra worthy of an S-class opponent. He was spent, both physically and emotionally. He checked himself on what he felt. Was he still angry? Frustrated? What was it?
But finally, he got his answer with Hinata's soft and pleading statement. "I am sorry…".
It was barely a whisper, but he heard it. Then she repeated the phrase again, and again, and again and again… Until her voice was choked by her crying. During the entire ordeal, she kept her head low and had her hands wrapped around her body protectively.
Gaara could only take so much of her shame and guilt. He couldn't let her suffer again. This was too much and everything has to stop. He still loves her. Then again, he never did stopped in the first place.
Like a machine being tuned-on after a long time of idle, his movements held a little awkwardness as he reached Hinata and held her tightly, taking in her scent and feel. Hinata, still crying, held to him as well for dear life and had sobbed and repeated her statement until Gaara managed to calm her down. And just like an old-machine gaining traction on what it was programed to do in the first place, the Kazekage automatically cupped Hinata's face and started kissing her tear-soaked cheeks. And finally, as apologies, forgiveness and promises where uttered, Gaara held HInata until sleep finally took over. He released a deep sigh as he mentally note the things he has to put in order later.
