Title: Veritatem Dies Aperit (Time Discovers Truth)
Summary, Disclaimer & Spoilers: See Chapter One
A/N: Another dual POV chapter with Gibbs going first.
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Chapter Nine: The Sad Truth
When he saw Tony slump back against the pillows, he fought to stay by his injured friend's bedside, but the nurse who'd rushed in when the alarms had gone off was pushing him back towards the door. Even though his attention was focused on Tony, he couldn't help but notice when another nurse slipped by the two of them.
The nurse attempting to get him out the door said, "All you're doing by staying is hurting him. He doesn't want you here. For his sake, you need to leave."
"He's in my custody, I can't leave," he said sticking with the official story.
"Well, as long as your presence adversely affects my patient, then I can't allow you to stay in his room."
"But, he…"
"I get it. I do. But you're going to have to figure out something else until he's willing to see you again. Mr. DiNozzo's health is our first priority."
"Fine," he growled.
The other nurse that had gone in emerged from Tony's room.
"How is he?" Gibbs asked, concerned that he yet again was the cause of his friend's suffering.
"He's asleep again. I've paged the doctor and he'll be here as soon as he can to assess him. Agent Gibbs, did Mr. DiNozzo recognize you?"
"Oh yeah," he ruefully answered. "It's why he reacted the way he did."
The nurse smiled crookedly, and said, "I'll let the doctor know what happened."
As she walked away, the first nurse spoke up, "Go to the cafeteria and get some more coffee. Take a break. He should be asleep for a while. Trust me. He'll be fine – eventually. Besides, with that leg, he's not going anywhere just yet."
From her words, she obviously didn't believe or thought there was more to his lie about Tony being in his custody.
Gibbs turned towards the elevator, but then suddenly found he couldn't bring himself to start walking despite knowing his friend was safe and in good hands. He let his head drop. "I can't leave him."
"Then at least go down the hall to the vending machines. You can still see Mr. DiNozzo's room from there."
"His name is 'Tony'," he said turning towards the direction she'd indicated and surrendered to his need for more coffee no matter how horrible it might taste.
While watching the machine fill a cup with coffee, he finally fully registered what Tony had yelled at him earlier.
Don't ever come back!
The phrase seemed to echo all around him, but he knew it was only in his mind.
His shoulders slumped and he allowed himself to fixate on the last few errant drops of coffee still trickling into his cup. He knew Tony would be beyond furious at him, but he did not anticipate this reaction. He had thought Tony would at least hear him out, give him a fair chance to explain…but apparently he'd been fooling himself. He should've known that he'd too severely damaged their relationship for his agent to cut him any amount of slack and listen to what he had to say.
Taking a sip of the scalding hot coffee, he wondered if Tony would ever forgive him, if his friend would ever understand the motivations behind his actions. He'd been following orders, forced into this position by a SecNav who didn't care about his people other than to consider them pieces to move around a game board.
A while ago he'd thought that he could've – should've – found a way to tell Tony the truth; that they could have found a way to do the assignment together like always. But, to his great regret, he had made the massive mistake of letting his anger at Vance and the SecNav as well as his worry over Tony's well-being cloud his judgment in the beginning. His team may think he always knew everything; that he always knew what he was doing and always had a plan, but that simply was not the case. He was only human and made plenty of mistakes, and by not reading Tony in on this mess, he'd made a mistake that had cost him dearly; had ruined an unorthodox friendship and had almost cost DiNozzo his life.
'Don't ever come back!' echoed through his mind once more as he made his way back to Tony's room. The phrase was like a much deserved dagger thrust into his stomach. He had failed to listen to his gut, failed to stand up to the SecNav, and most damning of all, failed his friend by crossing lines that should never have been crossed. He may have managed to eventually manipulate the situation enough so that his agent had people he could trust around him while on assignment, but that in no way even began to erase his culpability for having crossed those lines.
Despite that though, he still wanted to continue the fight to get Tony back in his life. He wanted more than anything to regain some measure of DiNozzo's trust even if he had to settle for being only co-workers or merely acquaintances. He'd had a taste of what it would be like without Tony in his life these too long past months. And even if they never got back to having that sense of being family between them ever again, he was determined to keep the Tony-shaped hole from becoming a permanent fixture in his life.
Arriving at the doorway, he hesitated for a moment before risking a glance into his senior field agent's room. Even asleep Tony didn't look completely at peace and Gibbs knew he was mostly to blame for that. He was aware of how incredibly hypocritical it was for him to still call Tony a friend given what he'd done, but Gibbs would concede to his injured friend's wishes and stay out of DiNozzo's room.
Tony was too important to him professionally and especially personally; he was going to have to work hard to keep DiNozzo where he belonged. He knew that they could never go back to the way they were, but maybe they could eventually become a better team than they ever were before.
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The next time he woke up, he quickly discovered his ex-team leader was not in the room. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed.
He should be relieved that his traitorous ex-friend was not there feeding him more lies trying to cover up his actions and that the man had done what Tony wanted for a change. He should be relieved that Gibbs wasn't trying to attain forgiveness for just how badly he'd screwed up, for crossing the line in such a way as it couldn't even be seen anymore except with binoculars.
He should be relieved, but oddly enough he was also disappointed. He found himself disappointed that Gibbs wasn't stubborn enough to keep trying to make amends for his actions. He was disappointed that he was never worth the effort like he'd been told so many times before. He was tired of being disappointed.
His self-esteem might be at one of its lowest points ever in his life, but that didn't mean he wasn't still angry for being used – again – by the higher-ups. It didn't mean he wasn't still angry at Gibbs for giving in and throwing him to the wolves both personally and professionally. He was still angry at so many things that had happened over the last eight months.
Quickly though, he found out that anger as an emotion was exhausting and he sought out sleep once more.
Some unknown time later – maybe the third time he'd awakened since he'd found his ex-mentor next to his bed – he could tell that he'd had no visitors other than the hospital staff, which reinforced his anger not only at Gibbs, but his former teammates. If they didn't know the whole story before, then they certainly knew it by now. They certainly had to know that he hadn't done anything wrong, hadn't messed up investigations, and hadn't stolen that money. He had at least expected to see Vance or Jarvis by now, but even they hadn't yet dared to show themselves to him.
Perhaps he wasn't allowed visitors in order to keep up the façade that he was in custody. He'd have to ask one of his nurses about that.
His doctors had finally come by when he'd been awake and able to discuss his injuries. Once he was out of here in a couple of days, he would be required to use crutches until his leg had properly healed. His main obstacle to getting released from the hospital was the fact that it was impossible for him to go home to his apartment. He lived on the top floor and the elevator was more often than not down for repairs. Having to use crutches on that many flights of stairs was just asking for more trouble.
By now his bank accounts would be closed to him until the forensic accountants could do their thing and separate his 'ill-gotten gains' from his rightfully earned income. God alone knew how long that would take. So the only money he had was the emergency cash he had stashed away in an apartment he couldn't access. He didn't trust anyone to get it for him, so he had to figure out something else, and given how he had been dropped like a hot potato after he'd been accused of theft, it wasn't like he had anyone he could crash with either. Maybe he could convince NCIS (if anyone ever bothered to show up) to foot the bill for a cheap hotel room until he was able to use the stairs at his apartment complex again – it was the least he was owed for what they'd done to him.
He sighed. He was tired of being alone with his thoughts and reached for the remote hanging off the bedrail. Maybe TV would drown out the thoughts for a while.
A half hour later, he shut the TV off, bored with what daytime programming had to offer. Because he couldn't see out his window, he decided to try amusing himself with observing the comings and goings of people passing by his open door. He was fortunate in this endeavor in that his room seemed to be close to the nurses' desk which meant there was plenty to see from his bed.
After a while, he began to notice something odd in the way people walked past his room. It seemed they were side-stepping an obstacle that seemed to be outside his door that his line of sight wouldn't permit him to see. Just minutes after making this realization, a nurse who seemed to be of below average height not only stepped around the obstacle but glanced up at it and smiled which proved something, or someone, tall was out there.
Someone must be stationed outside his door. No. Not someone. Gibbs.
Gibbs was outside his door – he had absolutely no doubt about that. His former mentor had actually done some of what he'd demanded, and got out of his room and had stayed out. But the Marine had obviously demonstrated his usual stubbornness and situated himself just outside his room. When he'd loudly expressed his wishes for Gibbs to get out of his room and never come back, Tony had meant that he would prefer never to have to see or talk to the man ever again. Tony was positive that Gibbs had understood what he'd meant at the time.
To be fair though, he considered that maybe Gibbs was out there in an attempt to keep his cover as a prisoner under guard. But, if that were the case, then the higher-ups could've had ordered just about anyone else to stand guard, which probably meant that Gibbs' presence outside his door was purely voluntary. Tony reasoned that if his ex-friend couldn't be in the room with him, then the bastard would manipulate the situation so that he could remain close regardless of his wishes. Typical. Again, his wishes and desires had been completely disregarded for some reason completely outside his control.
That thought had him wondering what was taking so long for either Vance or Jarvis to show their faces and demand a debriefing. The longer they took, the more he was convinced that his former superiors would blame him for the case not turning out exactly as they'd planned. He thought it was highly likely they'd do something to jeopardize his future career in law enforcement, which he wasn't even sure anymore he wanted to resume. He was done being manipulated for the greater good and at this point was convinced he should leave his former life behind and start over on the West Coast.
The knowledge that Gibbs was just outside his door weighed heavily on his mind and kept the embers of his anger burning bright. Finally it just annoyed him to no end, and he reached for the privacy curtain next to his bed. And though it awakened his aches and pains, he managed to pull it closed enough so that he couldn't see the door anymore. He thought about turning the TV back on, but it seemed too much of an effort so he allowed himself to drift off to sleep thinking of his future prospects and hoping the next chapter of his life would turn out better than this one.
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To be continued…next Thursday.
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A/N: Please don't blame my beta for any remaining mistakes. I added more to this chapter after ncismom did her magic…
Thanks for reading!
