Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, or Rugrats
That night, Oz wandered the streets of Paris, sniffing around in search of Bayarmaa. The dog caught the scent of something, barked joyfully, and ran over to it. The thing was, not Bayarmaa, but the base of the Eiffel tower, and Oz lifted his leg, peeing on it.
Glory had told Ira that she would meet him and the children in the garage where Hank was working on the Angel robot, so, the next morning, they all headed over there to wait. Xander and Anya were currently gazing in awe at a giant robotic replica of a certain bleach-blonde vampire.
"Wow, it's Spike!" said Xander, amazed.
"I think I'm in lub" said Anya dreamily, waving at the robot. "Hi Spikie!" Xander glared at his friend, then back at the robot, jealousy filling his small features.
"Suddenly I don't likes Spike so much anymore" he frowned. Nearby, Hank was shouting at the group of mechanics who had been assigned to help him fix the Angel robot. The head had been reattatched, but quite a bit of work still needed to be done in order to ensure the incident would not be repeated.
"Why didn't you just stick to my design? I used paper clips and rubber bands for a reason!" Hank cried, before whispering aside to Ira. "I love their fries and all, but this is advanced robotics."
"It looks kind of complicated" said Ira.
"Actually it's not. You just put on the gear and anything you do, Angel does." Hank put on a glove, complete with motion sensors and waved, causing the robot to wave back. He then placed a matching helmet on Buffy's head. "It's so simple a child could work it, right princess?" Buffy nodded, causing a poor mechanic to scream and fall from the robot's mouth as it mimiced her. "Sorry!" Hank called, quickly snatching the helmet from Buffy and chuckling nervously. "Did I say child? I meant young adult." At that moment, Glory arrived with a squirming, struggling Faith in tow.
"Bonjour, everyone!" she greeted, before quickly turning her attention to Ira. "Ready to go handsome?"
"Sure" said Ira, blushing slightly as he bounced baby Dawn in his arms. "Just let me get Dawnie settled."
"Of course!" said Glory in a very overracted, rehearsed sort of way. "And how is this precious little munchkin today?" she smiled, pushing her face up close to the baby's. Dawn bopped Glory on the head with her rattle, giggling. Glory glared at the baby, lowering her voice enough so that Ira couldn't hear.
"Well, you're just a little lawsuit waiting to happen aren't you?"
"Oh honey" said Glory in what she hoped was an interested voice while she and Ira sat at the park a little while later. "I could listen to your fascinating medical history all day!"
"Then I'll tell you all about my poor sinus drainage, right after I come back from the little boy's room. Would you mind holding Dawn?" Ira stood up, holding the baby out to Glory.
"Uh.. of course not" said Glory hesitantly, taking Dawn.
"This should be good" Xander whispered aside to the others as Ira left.
"So, we meet again" said Glory, holding Dawn out in front of her. The baby blew a rasberry at Glory, spraying her with saliva. "Delightful" said Glory, disgusted. Drool began to trickle from Dawn's mouth, and Glory, beginning to feel overwhelmed as she felt the children's eyes on her, switched on a tiny microphone hidden in her earring. Sheila was sitting in the security HQ watching on the cameras, prepared to help if her boss needed it. "Sheila" Glory whispered into the mike, "They're staring at me, and this kid is leaking from the mouth! What do I do?"
"Just smile" Sheila laughed. "Be nice." Glory rolled her eyes, then plastered a big, fake smile on her face, and held up Dawn.
"Hello" she said in a sickly sweet voice, "You are not horrible!" Dawn laughed, then grabbed hold of Glory's lips, pulling hard. "Let go!" Glory cried angrily, attempt at kindness forgotten as she tried to detach Dawn. "Do you know how much I paid for these lips?"
"I don't think Dawnie likes that lady very much you guys" Buffy frowned.
"I don't think she likes Dawn either" said Xander.
"Stop that you little urchin!"
"She's not a very nice lady" added Anya. "She's too pointy." At that moment, Dawn began to cry.
"Sheila, she's crying!" said Glory, flustered. "Now what do I do?"
"Comfort her" said Sheila. "Gently bounce her up and down." Glory started to bounce Dawn, a lot more roughly than Sheila had intended her too. Dawn began to look a little green, then, just as Ira returned, threw up all over Glory. Sheila, watching from security, groaned, slapping her forehead.
"According to Doctor Travers, Dawnie just gave you a gift" Ira smiled, taking the baby from Glory and wiping her mouth as he sat down.
"And why wouldn't she?" Glory forced a smile as she tried to clean herself up. "Afterall, children are my life!"
"Oh, I have that poem taped to the refrigerator!" cried Ira excitedly.
"What?" Glory frowned.
"'Children Are My Life'" Sheila explained through the mike. "It's a classic."
"Dappled laughter, padding feet" Ira recited happily.
"Joy and wonder, heaven's treat" Sheila sighed. "It's one of my favourites."
"Joy and wonder, heaven's treat" Glory echoed, disinteresed. "It is one of my favourites."
"Wow" Ira smiled. The Scoobies, who were beginning to feel a little bored, tugged on his pants. "Uh-oh, I think they're getting a little fussy."
"Why don't you take them to Ooey-Gooey World?" suggested Sheila.
"Ooey-Gooey World?" said Glory, confused.
"Ooey-Gooey World!" Ira grinned. "That's a great idea!"
