Authors note: i got the idea to make this story after reading a story about Luan going insane and killing her whole family, so if you're a Luan fan then this story is not for you. if you aren't a Luan fan (like me) then enjoy.


Luan had been really agitated lately, after seeing a prank pulled on a kid at school she had been dying to pull a prank of her own but she had promised her family that she would never pull a prank again. If she broke that promise then she didn't know what would happen, though she guessed the whole family would hate her and either never speak to her again, or never trust her again she was now sitting on her bed with Mr. Coconuts on her hand "its really getting tough to not pull pranks huh?" Mr. Coconuts said

"Yeah, if I don't pull a prank soon I might go crazy"

"Sorry toots but you pulled into that station long ago"

"Are you saying I'm crazy?"

"Oh no you were crazy way before, now you're completely insane"

"I am not insane!"

"Oh yeah? try telling that to your family, on all of your previous April fools days you could have asked them that question and they would have ether screamed yes, or they would have said no out of complete fear"

"I know that, and after the help I got I realised that I acted like a complete monster on that day"

"You know that's probably why your younger sisters never want to hang out with you, because they're scared of you"

"Yeah some of those pranks I've pulled have probably scarred them for life"

"Yeah, but they're just dumb little kids who would make the whole family happy if they just disappeared"

"Knowing Lincoln and Luna if Lana went missing they'd search till the day they die"

"You know you could easily get rid of them, all you'd have to do is drug them, take them outside and slice their throats open and then bury them, no one would ever know"

"That's enough of that kind of talk from you mister" and she slapped his face making his head spin around until it stopped

"Jeez it was just a suggestion, no need to get violent"


Throughout the entire day, Luan had been telling one bad joke after another either by herself or with Mr. Coconuts, and it was starting to get on all of her siblings nerves. "Ugh I swear if I hear one more terrible joke, I am going to scream" Luna said to Lincoln

"Same here, she should really choose a different career, like baking or something like that" Lincoln replied before Luan came up to them

"Hey Lincoln, what do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase? A branch manager *giggles* get it?"

"..."

"Guess you've heard of that one huh?"

"No, it just wasn't funny the first time, like all of your jokes"

Luan gasped at this and frowned "oh and I suppose you could tell funnier jokes"

Lincoln shrugged "probably"

"Alright then funny boy, try and tell a good joke"

"Fine...what's the difference between a jailer and a jeweller?" The two girls shrugged "one sells watches and the other watches cells" Luna burst out laughing while Luan was forcing a frown

"It's not that funny" she said

"Really? Well my joke made Luna laugh where as yours didn't" Luan scowled "tell me Luan, out of all the jokes that you've told us today, how many of them did we laugh at" Luan thought hard trying to remember how many times her siblings had laughed at her jokes today...but all she drew was a blank. "See, you're not funny Luan, nearly all of your jokes are lame and make us groan more than laugh, your ventriloquism act is mediocre at best, and about 40% of the time you get booed off of stage at open mic nights. Also lets not forget all of the horrible puns you used to make, along with the stupid and deadly pranks you pulled over the years, which I'm surprised hasn't permanently traumatised our younger sisters. You're not funny and you should find something else you're good at because comedy definitely isn't for you" Lincoln said

"I see (looks at Luna) and do you agree with him?" Luan asked

"Sorry sis, but yeah, you really should find something else you're good at" Luna said

"Okay then" and she walked off casually

"Oh I see hell about to break loose" Lincoln said with Luna nodding.


Luan was now sitting on her bed with a blank look on her face. Lincoln's little chew out session about her not or to an extent never been funny had really gotten to her. Add to the fact he had insulted her ventriloquism act and had put a percentage of how many times she had been booed off stage, she was now raging mad on the inside, she then held up Mr. Coconuts "how dare that little prick insult me and to a lesser extent you!" Mr. Coconuts said

"Well he did raise some good points" Luan replied

"You've built your whole life around comedy and that asshole rants about how unfunny you really are"

"Yeah, he did go on a bit of a rant there"

"I say you show that white haired bastard what a real joke is"

"How would I do that?"

"Well the pricks birthday is coming up in two weeks, you should make something that will make him die laughing"

"By die you mean metaphorically right?"

"Oh no I mean die for real"

"You know what Mr. Coconuts?"

"What?"

Her face darkened as an insane grin came to her face "I agree with you 100%" lifting up her mattress she saw her sketch book which she used to plan out huge pranks. grabbing it, she opened it up to the last prank she made in it and began sketching down 'Lincoln's final birthday surprise'

It surprisingly only took Luan about an hour to come up with everything "hmm, I'm not sure if I have enough money to buy all of the materials to make this...well that's the only thing siblings are good for" she said with a huge grin.

Later that night Luan snuck down to the basement and got to work soundproofing and blocking out any peeping eyes by taping over Lisa's hidden cameras and placing cardboard over the basements small window. Once that job was done she snuck into everyone's room and stole whatever money she could find, which ended up totaling $574, plus all of the money saved up, leaving her with $785 "this should be enough. Now I just need to buy the stuff and soon my birthday surprise will be complete"


After telling her family that she decided to walk to school on the Monday morning, she played hooky and headed to the biggest hardware store in Royal Woods instead and began buying everything she had on her list. Once she had everything she paid the store to help deliver it to her house on the same day. After everything was delivered and taken down into the basement Luan raced back to school just as the bell rang, signalling to everyone that they could go home. Fortunately, her sisters didn't question as to why they hadn't seen her today as they walked home she spoke up "hey girls you know how Lincoln's birthday is coming up?" they nodded "well I was thinking of making something super special for him"

"And what prey tell would that be?" Lori asked

"It's a surprise that I'll make for him in the basement, as such the basement will be off limits to everyone until his birthday. And before you ask I'll do the laundry as well as the dishes"

"Fine by me" Lori said

"If it's some sort of elaborate prank Luan, I am going to pound you until there's nothing left" Luna threatened

"Luna, I promised that I would never pull a prank again and I meant it" Luan replied calmly, though Luna was still suspicious.


For the rest of the week, once she had finished her homework, Luan would spend the rest of the night down in the basement only coming up for dinner and bathroom breaks. When she had to go to bed she would lock the basement door with a key and keep it with her so no one could sneak down at night and see her work. It was now Sunday and Luan was currently at the dentist getting her braces checked up, while this was happening, Lincoln snuck into Luan/Luna's room and began snooping around to try and find something that would tell him if what Luan had planned for his birthday was going to be something nice or just end up being a huge prank. Leni had blurted out what Luan was up to when Lincoln had asked why Luan was down in the basement so much After about 5 minutes of searching he found a large sketch book under Luan's mattress.

As he looked through it he saw that it contained diagrams, notes, and sketches of all of the large-scale pranks she had done to the past as well as puns to say when said prank went off. Skipping to the page that had a sticky note sticking out the top he saw a drawing of a mini track with a prank at each corner that was to be set up in the basement, and with the words 'Lincoln's final birthday surprise' at the top he knew it was for him. Pulling out his phone he took pictures of all of the pages for his birthday surprise, before putting the note book back under her mattress and headed back to his room to read over the notes. Using his chest of draws to barricade his door he began actually looking at the pictures, what he saw terrified him.

First in the trap he would have a piston pound his crotch three times with a note saying that it would most likely shatter his pelvis, next he would get struck in the stomach, chest and face with a bat, then he would be punched on all sides of his head by spring powered boxing gloves, after that he would be shocked by tasers that would wake him up if he fell unconscious, next he would be sprayed in the face by a highly corrosive acid, that would then be followed by a flamethrower, then a blast of high pressured water to put out any flames, then he would be sprayed with Joker brand laughing gas with him finally being killed in an iron maiden that would both impale him and crush his whole body. He didn't know if this was some kind of sick joke but he knew something bad was going to happen on his birthday, big or small.


It was now the night before his birthday with the girls saying in sing-song voices that it was his birthday tomorrow or 'guess who's turning 12 tomorrow', which he enjoyed. After having gotten ready for bed he headed downstairs to talk with his parents. He found them on the couch watching TV "mum, dad" he started, getting their attention "you two love me right?"

"Of course we do sweetie" Rita said

"Did one of your sisters say that we didn't?" Lynn Sr. asked

"No, they didn't…you know how Luan has been saying that she's been working on something special for my birthday?" they nodded "well I have a feeling that its going to be something bad. So I was hoping that you two could stay up the night and stop her if she tries anything suspicious please" he said, his parents could see that he seemed to be freaked out greatly by something

"Okay son, we'll stay up in the dark and stop her if she comes down"

"Thank you" he said and he hugged them both before heading up stairs. Rita and Lynn Sr. gave each other worried looks, both now having bad feelings.


"Wakey wakey Linky" Lincoln slowly opened his eyes and gave a groan. As he tried to move however he felt himself restricted, once he gained his bearings he found himself tied to a chair in the basement where Luan's death trap was. Lincoln's eyes narrowed as he inwardly cursed his parents "last time I count on those two for anything"

"I take it you're referring to mum and dad" Luan started as she came into view now fully dressed as a clown with a large mallet slung over her shoulder "those two did actually try to stop me but I managed to get them with a needle of anesthesia each so they won't be waking up any time soon, I take it you found out about my plans?"

"Yeah, so I guess I ruined the surprise you had for me"

"Not entirely oh dear brother" she then casually strolled over to an object covered by a blanket. When she removed the blanket however, Lincoln was shocked to see it was a person, who by the looks of it was about his age, wearing a sack over their head.

"Luan, who is that?" Lincoln asked in a low tone

"Maybe this will answer your question" she replied, she then picked up a container off the floor and opened it up before pulling out what looked like a mask by its hair and held it out in front of her proudly. "Tell me does this look familiar to you?"

Lincoln looked at the mask hard before his eyes widened a bit 'it looks like...no it couldn't be, she's not that much of a monster' he then saw red liquid that looked a lot like blood, dripping out of it. 'no' he thought as his eyes widened even more

"Ah so you've put all of the pieces together" she then took the sack off of the persons head revealing that their head was completely bandaged up "come on Paige, time to wake up" Luan said as she roughly shook Paige, making her come too. Paige gave a muffled scream at the amount of pain she was in "well she's certainly lively. Let me show you the wonderful surgery Dr. Loud has performed on your girlfriend" and she began unwrapping the bandages around Paige's head. Lincoln was horrified at what Luan had done to her, not only had she removed all of the skin, save for the eyelids, but she had removed all of the muscle on her face along with her ears and nose, with the only thing holding her jaw up was wire that was looped through small holes that had been drilled through her teeth.

"You're a fucking monster Luan!"

"Oh I know (pulls out a needle) but I'm a compassionate monster" and she injected a substance into Paige's arm causing her screams to turn into a sigh of relief. Paige looked around and was confused a bit before she remembered what had happened.

Flashback

She had gone to bed like normal, then she was woken up to find herself strapped down to a table with Luan standing over her wearing a lab coat, scrubs, gloves and a surgical mask around her neck. "Hello bitch, have a nice sleep?"

"What the? Luan?! Where are we?!"

"In my basement, but enough about that, you see Paige, it's Lincoln's birthday tomorrow and I've decided to make him a gift that will make him die laughing" Paige looked and saw Luan's completed death trap. "But I thought for a while and I decided to add a bit more, which is where you come in. I remember several times in the past where you've assaulted me, so I decided to have a little payback as well" she then injected something into Paige's arm which basically paralysed her. Paige could only watch as Luan pulled up her surgical mask and raised a scalpel before she began slicing her face off.

End Flashback

Paige shivered as she remembered feeling every slice and scrape Luan had done to her "behold! your new face!" Luan said as she held a mirror in front of Paige, causing her to scream. "Awe don't be so sad, you get front row seats to watching your boyfriend get killed. Oh yeah and once that's over with I'm going to crush your skull with this mallet" Luan said proudly before turning to her brother "so are you ready for your birthday surprise?"

"Quick question first"

"What is it?"

"When you were thinking up this trap, did you take into account my strength?"

"...uh no"

"That's what I thought" and with a grunt he busted free from the ropes that bound him. Tearing the chair off its rails he threw it at Luan before darting over to Paige and breaking her bindings as well. "Paige, go call the police" he ordered as Luan grabbed the mallet with a look of fury on her face

"You have made me one very sad clown!" And she swung the mallet at Lincoln who dodged it. "You are nothing but a burden to everyone in this family!" swings the mallet again smashing a hole in the track. Lincoln grabbed the piston and swung it as Luan swung the mallet again. The two weapons collided with the mallet being knocked out of Luan's hands in the process. Lincoln then ran forward at Luan and punched her in the stomach while at the same time she zapped him with a taser. The two backed away from each other with them both having a hand on the spot where they had been punched/zapped. The two then ran at each other and began throwing punches at each other. Luan was unable to even land a blow on her little brother were as he was basically tenderising her. With a hard shove she knocked him back before she reached into her pockets and pulled out 6 knives, one between each of her fingers, and she began swiping and stabbing at him.

While this had been happening Paige had snuck upstairs and was now calling the police "911, what's your emergency?" The operator asked

"Hi I name is aige, I friends sister has gone insane! She has cut off I face, has wired I outh shut, and is trying to kill I friend!"

"Okay sweetheart, calm down I'll dispatch a unit immediately" locking on to where the call was coming from, she informed the closest police unit as well as dispatched an ambulance "okay sweetie I need you to stay on the line for me okay?"

"Ye-" Paige paused mid-sentence when she spotted something out of the corner of her eye in the dinning room, turning on the light she could see Lincoln's parents lying on the ground not moving "oh i god she killed her erents!" She basically screamed into the phone, not knowing that they had simply been drugged

"Sweetheart, calm down, are you sure they're dead"

Paige looked closer and saw their chests moving "they're reathing (starts shaking them) ister and isses Loud, wake uf!" She said but she got no response from them "they're not waking uf" she said before she heard Lincoln yell out in pain.

Back in the basement

Lincoln now had a hand on his bleeding side. Luan had managed to get a lucky strike with the knives going through the gaps of the right side of his rib cage, nicking his lung in the process. Luan licked his blood off of the knives and went in for another attack only for him to knock the knives out of her hands and headbutt her. As she stumbled back a bit from the blow, now seeing stars, he grabbed one of the knives and stabbed her in the leg three times and then followed it up with a right hook to the face making her stumble back more until she landed on one of her work benches. As Lincoln walked up to her she spun around and launched a spring powered boxing glove, striking him right in the face which made him stumble back into the boxing glove trap which punched him on all sides of his upper body.

"Darn, that trap was supposed to be a knockout"

"Boooo. Terrible. Get off stage" Lincoln taunted, this taunt seemed to make Luan go even further over the edge.

"No I am funny! I am! It's just the audience! No please I can do better next time! Next time! Next time!" She then clutched her head and began hyperventilating through clenched teeth as she thought about every groan, every insult, and every boo she had received in the past from people. She lifted her head and gave Lincoln the most insane look he had ever seen before "I am funny" she started in a quiet voice which quickly grew in volume "and I'm going to prove it by making everyone in this house die laughing!" Pulling a large knife out of her pocket, She then gave a loud scream and began running at him.

"Why do you have so many knives on you?" he questioned before he started dodging her swipes and stabs once again. Lincoln kept dodging until his back touched something, he moved to the side as Luan's knife came down and pierced into the canister of acid she had set up which would have sprayed all over Lincoln. When she yanked the knife back however, the pressure inside the canister caused the acid to spray out and cover almost the entire left side of her face and her whole left arm, dissolving her left sleeve and glove in the process. She screamed in pain as the acid began to eat away at any skin it touched. Lincoln looked around and saw the hose she was going to use on him. Grabbing it, he turned it on and blasted her with the water washing off any acid on her and guided it down to the drain which had been installed recently.

Luan got to her feet as Lincoln turned off the water and she charged at him, screaming as she did, only for Lincoln to swing the hose, smashing her across the face with the nozzle. Dropping the hose he ran forward and punched her in the stomach before back handing her across the melted side of her face, knocking her to the floor. "I knew you had some mental issues Luan, but I didn't think that they were this severe"

"If I may quote The Joker 'madness, as you know, is like gravity, all it takes is a little push' (gets to her feet) and you, dear brother, are the one who made that little push"

"Well if I didn't, someone else would have" he then smirked as he heard sirens "and it seems as though this little madness trip of yours is coming to an end"

"What! But how?!" Then she remembered someone who now wasn't here "that fucking little slut!" She yelled before she made a mad dash for the stairs with Lincoln chasing after

"Paige! Run!" He shouted.

Paige, who had been standing at the front door, heard the cry and turned to see Luan racing towards her. She started to run just as the police arrived she then ran straight into the arms of the officer that had just got out of his car. Luan grabbed onto Paige's shirt and tried to pull her off when Lincoln wrapped his arm around Luan's neck and threw her to the ground where she was tasered by the other officer.

The first officer was horrified at what he was seeing "take her to a place where she'll never see daylight!" Lincoln shouted before he coughed up some blood causing his cut side to hurt even more. About a minute later another squad car arrived followed by two ambulances. The paramedics were just as shocked as everyone else was when they saw Paige. After the 3 kids had been examined, Luan was handcuffed to the gurney and taken to the hospital with a police officer going with them while Lincoln and Paige were about to get into the other ambulance as well. Lincoln, whose side had been patched up to stop the bleeding, suddenly remembered something "wait, I'll be right back" he said and he went back into his house. He came back about 2 minutes later with a beaker of green liquid and a pair of wire cutters, he then gave the paramedic the beaker "half fill a syringe with this stuff and then inject it into her arm" Lincoln more or less ordered before he got to work cutting the wires on Paige's jaw.

"What is this stuff?" the paramedic asked

"Its Overdrive, it'll heal her in seconds" Lincoln said as he cut the wires. Once the wires were cut the paramedic, against his better judgment, injected the Overdrive into Paige's arm. As soon as he pulled the needle out, he and Lincoln watched as the skin on her neck, crawled up and covered her head with a nose and ears forming before hair sprouted out and grew until it was shoulder length. The paramedic almost had to use the defibrillator on himself due to his heart stopping "there you go, back to your old self" Lincoln said happily

Paige felt her head, instead of feeling bone, she felt skin and hair "oh thank god" she said happily she then looked at Lincoln and without another thought she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him right on the lips. Lincoln was surprised by this, but was quick to return the kiss, making Paige lift a leg.

An officer came up and saw the two kids kissing before he turned to the paramedic and asked him and his partner to come inside and check on the parents. The paramedics had managed to wake up Lynn Sr. and Rita "what's going on?" Lynn Sr. Asked, still not fully with it, with his wife in the same boat.

When they realised that they were surrounded by paramedics and police, they became fully alert "oh my god! Is my baby okay?! Where is he?!" Rita exclaimed

"Calm down ma'am, your son is fine" both Loud parents gave sighs of relief at this

"What did that bitch do to my son?!" Lynn Sr. demanded

"That's what we would like to know sir. Could you tell us how the events unfolded, which resulted in you and your wife being drugged?" A police officer asked

Flashback

Lynn Sr. and Rita had followed their sons wishes and had stayed up. The two were sitting on chairs in the dark near the front window of the dining room, so that if anyone entered they would see them but they wouldn't see them. After 12 o'clock had passed they could hear someone moving around upstairs, after a while they heard someone come downstairs rather heavily. Due to their eyes being adjusted to the dark they could see Luan, dressed as a clown, carrying a limp Lincoln, she placed Lincoln on the floor and headed to their room. Realising that they weren't there she tiptoed around to try and find them, when she reached Lincoln, Rita turned on the light and Luan froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

She watched as they moved in front of her with stern looks on their faces "uh h-hey what are you guys doing up this late?" she asked nervously

"We could ask you the same thing" Lynn Sr. replied

"What are you doing with your brother?" Rita asked

"Oh I just wanted to be the first to give him his birthday gift" Luan explained

"Luan turn around and put your hands behind your back" Lynn Sr. ordered

"Well, I should have known that this wouldn't be easy" pulling the needle out of her pocket she lunged at her dad in an attempt to jab him with the needle but he managed to grab her wrist. Luan smirked and went to kick him only for him to grab her by the ankle "idiot" she said reaching into her other pocket she grabbed another needle and jabbed it into the arm that was holding her other arm. Lynn Sr. let go of her and stumbled about before everything went dark.

End Flashback

The officer then turned to Rita "I take it once your husband was out you followed the same fate?" he asked

"Yes" she replied

"Okay then, are you aware of your son having a friend named Paige"

"Yes" Rita replied, both parents not liking where this was going

"Well it turns out that your daughter kidnapped her and skinned her head?" Both parents could barely keep their dinners down after hearing that

"Is she alive?" Lynn Sr. Asked

"Yes, in fact she was the one who made the call"

Both parents were relieved at that before their eyes widened "what about our other daughters upstairs?!" Rita exclaimed before she and her husband raced upstairs with the paramedics and police following. They found that each girl had their head tilted to the side with a red dot on their necks. The paramedics deduced that, like the two parents were, their daughters had been drugged as well and it would wear off soon. Once it was confirmed that the girls would be fine Lynn Sr. turned to the officer closest to him and said in the sternest tone possible "sir, I do not want that monster ever released" "I'm not the one to make that call, however I do agree with you 100%" the officers then went to examine the crime scene.

As Lincoln and Paige re-entered the Loud house they were greeted by an officer "hey kids, can we please get an account on what happened here please" the officer asked kindly the two kids nodded and explained to the officer what had happened to them with Paige starting off. Once she was done, Lincoln was about to give his when they heard a loud "my baby!" and the next thing he knew he was in a bone crushing hug by him mum who was now bawling.

Lynn Sr. had been slightly confused when he saw Paige looking perfectly fine, having been told that her head had been skinned, but when he saw the beaker of Overdrive in his sons hand he realised what had happened. Walking up to Paige and kneeled down so that he was eye level with her and he put his hands on her shoulders "Paige, I am so-"

"I'm going to have to stop you right there. You don't have to apologise seeing as how you had no idea what that psycho bitch was truly up to and I prey that she ends up locked up in an insane asylum for this"

"Honestly, me too" Lynn Sr. replied before he stood up "come on lets go inform your parents that you're okay" he said, Paige nodded and followed him while the officer tried to get Lincoln's account of what happened.


It was about 3am when everyone had finally left, Rita and Lynn Sr. had been informed that a crew would come around tomorrow to examine and dismantle what was left of the death trap. They were also told that Luan would be under constant watch at the hospital and once she was released from the hospital she would immediately be escorted to jail where she'll await a trial. Paige's parents had come to pick her up, when they found out what happened they threatened to sue the Loud family but a firm protest from Paige eliminated that threat, she had also got her parents to bring over the gift she had gotten Lincoln for his birthday due to Lincoln deciding to cancel his birthday party at Gus' Games and Grub.

The two parents were now in the lounge room on the couch with their son between them, comforting him as the weight of the whole incident finally came crashing down on him "I can't believe how close we were to losing you" Rita said as she gently stroked Lincoln's back

"It's a good thing our big man here is as strong as he is, otherwise Luan might not have stopped with him" Lynn Sr. said before giving a sigh "I just feel like I've failed as a father and husband because I couldn't stop her"

"Honey, don't blame yourself for this. She caught you by surprise, heck I thought I had her when I had her pinned down but she managed to jab me with a needle as well"

"I know, but still…" he then looked at his wife "Rita…I truly mean it that I don't want her back in this house" Rita then pulled Lincoln into a hug and held him tightly while nodding, somewhere in the very back of her mind she was being told that it was wrong to disown a child, but common sense overwrote that, as she knew that if they did welcome Luan back into their home, most likely they wouldn't live to see the next day.

"Well, this is a birthday I'll never forget" Lincoln said and his parents gave him a tight hug while saying "happy birthday Lincoln"

"You know son, everyone has a bad birthday at least once" Lynn Sr. said trying to lighten the mood "I remember my worst birthday, we were celebrating it at the park. My friends and I were playing baseball and I was running to catch the ball, wasn't watching where I was going and ran head first into a tree" Rita laughed at that "and what really made it a bad birthday was that the ball knocked down a beehive which landed on my head. My dad said my head looked like a red balloon" Rita and Lincoln laughed as they pictured their husband/father with a bee stung head.


Lana was the first out of all of the sisters to wake up first thanks to an alarm watch that zaps you awake, she wanted to be the first one to wish Lincoln a happy birthday as she got out of bed she felt very off balance and sluggish. By the time she reached her bedroom door, which was strangely open, she now just felt sluggish, looking around the hall she saw everyone's doors were open. Peeking into Lincoln's room she saw that he was gone, checking the other rooms she saw that the only one missing besides Lincoln was Luan. Her sluggishness had completely gone by the time she made it downstairs, looking in the lounge room she saw an odd sight, her parents were asleep dad in the recliner and mum on the couch with a sleeping Lincoln resting his head in her lap. Walking up to Lincoln she gently shook him, but when she got no reaction she grinned "okay Lincoln, it's tickle time" and after only a few seconds of tickling Lincoln was having a laughing fit, his laughing woke up their parents who looked exhausted. Realising where they were they both gave sad sighs, they had hoped that last night was just a horrible nightmare

"Oh yeah, two can play that game!" Lincoln said and he began tickling Lana back the two parents smiled at this. Lincoln then stopped and pull his giggling sister in a hug

"*giggle* Happy Birthday Lincoln *giggle*" she giggled out

"Thanks Lana" it was then he realised that he was downstairs "wait what am I…" he trailed off as he remembered what had happened last night getting a sad look on his face, looking at his parents, he saw that they shared his same expression.

"Um what's going on? Did something bad happen?" Lana asked

"We'll wait for everyone to get up first, then we'll talk" her father said in a tone that said don't argue, Lana may only be 6 but judging by how sad Lincoln and their parents were she knew something really bad had happened.

"How are you feeling this morning you two?" their mother asked

"I feel fine" Lincoln said

"It was hard for me to get up this morning" Lana admitted

"But otherwise you're not in any pain?"

"Nope" they replied in union with their mother and father giving a sigh of relief. There was then a knock at the door to which Lynn Sr. got up to answer it, Lincoln and Lana watched their father guided several officers as well as some other people into the kitchen

"You two stay here and watch cartoons" their mother said calmly before she got up and followed her husband.


One by one the Loud sisters woke up and made their way downstairs when they saw that Lincoln wasn't in bed, thankfully they were all drawn to the sound of the TV being on, and they all gave Lincoln hugs and kisses while also saying Happy Birthday to him. Even though he was smiling Luna and Lori could tell that he was forcing the smile on his face "hey bro what's the matter it's your birthday, you should be happy" Luna asked which got everyone's attention, just as Lincoln was about to reply their mother interrupted

"Ah good, you're all up" they all looked at her "kids, could you all go to Lori and Leni's room please, your father and I will be up in a minute, we have something serious we need to talk about" and she left to go get her husband.

Soon the whole family was up in Lori and Leni's room, after doing a head count the parents started "okay kids last night there was an incident involving Luan, your brother and Paige…" and the two parents informed their children about the events that had occurred last night with Lincoln informing them of the more graphic details as well as the fight he had with Luan. To say the girls were shocked was an understatement, they were absolutely floored.

The girls were now all huddled around Lincoln comforting him. Lynn Sr. gave a sigh "so kids, Luan isn't going to be living here anymore, and your mother and I have agreed to disown her"

"I say they should lock her in a padded cell and throw away the key" Luna said with her sisters ether agreeing or voicing their own opinions, their parents not disagreeing.

Lincoln then stood up and said "I'll be back" before he left the room. He returned a minute later with his phone and showed them all the pictures he had taken from her sketch book. His family was absolutely horrified at what every part of the trap would have done to him

"My god, I thought Luan was a bit unstable, but I never expected her to be like this" Lori said while some of the sisters held Lincoln protectively

"Don't worry bro, we'll make sure she never lays a hand on you ever again" Luna said with the rest of her sisters agreeing

"Hey mum" Lincoln started

"Yes sweetie?"

"Could you cancel my birthday party at the Gus' Games and Grub, I just don't feel up to it today"

"Are you sure?"

Lincoln nodded "I think I'd just be too much of a downer"

"Alright, Lynn you call the Gus' Games and Grub and cancel the party, I'll call up Lincoln's friends and tell them the party's off" Rita said, Lynn Sr. nodded and the two left, leaving the girls with their brother, needless to say this had been the worst birthday ever for Lincoln…well the part with he and Paige kissing was a bit of a highlight, but his sisters didn't need to know about that just yet.

For the rest of the day Lincoln had been in complete and total depression, nothing anyone could do could get him to smile, heck even when he was blowing out the candles on his birthday cake and opening his presents, the family could tell that he was forcing a smile onto his face. Once the last present was opened he looked at his family "thanks for trying to make this day great for me" his smile finally dropped and he began to tear up "I'm sorry I've been such a downer today" he said, his parents then embraced him from both sides

"Girls, I think it would be best if you just go to your rooms for a while your father and I need to have a talk with your brother" Rita said, with absolutely no objection the girls left.

Rita and Lynn Sr. pulled up chairs and sat on opposite sides of Lincoln "sweetie, we know the main reason why you're upset, but we want to know what about it has made you so upset" Rita asked

"I just can't believe she would want to torture and kill me just because I said she wasn't funny"

"We're also to blame for this" Lynn Sr. started making his wife and son look at him "if we had stopped her from making these large scale pranks years ago this whole event and many others in the past could have been prevented"

"Why did you let her do all of these pranks and then just ground her for a month? I get that you want us to express ourselves, but shouldn't there be a limit to what we can and can't do?" Lincoln said

"Yes and we will begin limiting what you kids can do when expressing yourselves" Rita said

"I'm also worried that Luan will find some way to break out and then she'll either come to kill me or everyone"

"I've spoken with the police and they're taking your sister to a secure mental institution out of town once she's released from the hospital, she'll be kept there until the courts decide what to do. Though honestly, I see that place being her new home after what she tried to do" Lynn Sr. said

"…mum, dad…I-I'm scared" they both embraced him

"Don't worry sweetheart, we'll make sure Luan never lays a hand on you again" Rita said

"D-do you th-think that the rest of my sisters will try to kill me if I make them mad?"

Rita and Lynn Sr. froze at that while thinking the same thing 'oh god'.

"No Lincoln, your sisters will never try to kill you, no matter how angry you make them" Lynn Sr. said as he rubbed his sons back

"Do you think its bad that I don't love Luan anymore and don't think of her as my sister?"

"No Lincoln, not at all. As we told you before we've disowned her, so it's perfectly fine that you don't consider her as your sister"

"Isn't it wrong for a parent to disown a child"

"I asked the chief of police that when I went down to the station earlier today and he said that in most cases yes, but in this particular case he said that he would have done the same thing" Lincoln was starting to feel a bit better but the thought that one of his sisters actually tried to kill him kept him feeling uneasy. Gathering up his gifts he told his parents that he was going to his room and would most likely be up there for the rest of the night.

After they heard his bedroom door close Rita sent a text to her daughters to meet them in the lounge room. Soon they had all gathered "okay girls, this whole event has really messed with your brother, to the point that he's worried that if he makes you mad you might try to kill him as well" Lynn Sr. said making the girls gasp

"So until he recovers fully from this incident I don't want any of you getting mad at him even if he breaks or damages something of yours by accident" Rita added, all of the girls agreed, the last thing they wanted was their brother thinking that they wanted to kill him as well.


When Monday morning rolled around Lincoln met Paige out the front of the school, she looked just as tired as he was "hey Paige"

"Hey Lincoln, take it you haven't gotten much sleep either?"

"Yeah I've been having night terrors involving Luan"

"Same, I still see her standing over me, cutting my skin off. Thanks for giving me that Overdrive stuff, I take it you took some as well?"

"Yep" he replied as he lifted up his shirt to reveal that he didn't so much as have a scratch on his side

"Well we better get to class" she said with Lincoln agreeing and the two walked in, hand in hand.


For most of the week Lincoln had been really down and a bit on edge about his sisters, though that only lasted until about Wednesday, he as well as Paige had been constantly having night terrors involving Luan doing all kinds of horrific things to either them or for Lincoln, his family members. It had gotten to the point they were now afraid to go to sleep, within the past 4 days they had only gotten about a total of 6 hours sleep. It was now Friday and Lincoln was in class trying to stay awake, but with his teacher going on and on about some war add the lack of sleep and soon he was asleep.

Lincoln opened his eyes to see that he was now tied to a chair in a dark room with a spot light shining on him. More spot light came on two by two revealing his family all in weird devices and traps with the final spot light shining on Luan who was now wearing a ringmaster outfit. "It's about time you woke up snowflake, if you were out any longer you would have missed the greatest show on Earth" she said, the room then lit up fully as she started strutting over to him. Now that he could see everything fully, he saw that his chair was on a rail that stretched from one side of the room to the other. Now that she was in front of him she grabbed his chin and kept his head up so she could keep eye contact with him "as you can see snowflake I have put everyone in some kind of trap that is ironic to them in a way"

"Please let them go Luan, I was the one who said that you were unfunny, not them" Lincoln begged

"Oh I know. This is just my way of getting back at you for having me sent to the loony bin" pushing his chair forward along the track she stopped and turned it allowing Lincoln to see his dad trapped in a large oven which had been welded shut "I think its time to make some real Lynn-sagne" Luan said and she walked over to the oven, ignoring Lincoln's protests they both watched as Lynn Sr. was engulfed in flames. Lincoln felt like he was going to throw up as he saw his father's skin start to melt off, he tried closing his eyes or simply looking but he found it impossible, all he could do was watch as his father was turned to ashes inside the giant oven "ah I love my meals well done" Luan said before she walked back over to him and spun him around so he was now facing his mother who was strapped down to a dentist's chair.

Pulling a remote out of her pocket, Luan pressed a button on it and the roof opened up above Rita and a huge drill came down, aimed straight at her head "you're always drilling in peoples mouths, I think its time you had your teeth drilled" Luan said, pressing another button, the drill came to life and kept lowering until it started drilling into Rita's skull, the drill kept going deeper and deeper until it had gone completely through and into the head rest of the seat. Luan kept making the drill lower until Rita's head had been completely obliterated "looks like she had a bigger cavity than I thought…well she ain't getting any deader, on to the next one!" she then shoved his chair to the side and stopped it so now he was in front of Lisa who was tied up and suspended above a glass tank filled with a green liquid "Lisa has always had a thing for science, so I want to see what she thinks of my special acid" walking up to the tank she grabbed a chunk of metal off the ground and tossed it into the tank.

Lincoln looked in shock as the chunk of metal fully dissolved just before it hit the bottom "that was metal. Now lets see what it does to a human" using an axe she cut the rope suspending Lisa causing the 4 year old genius plunge into the acid. Lincoln watched her give a scream before she was fully dissolved by the acid "now that's an acid burn she'll never forget" Luan then turned his chair around and he saw Lucy strapped down to a table with large circular saw's hanging above her, she was visibly shaking in fright as Luan walked over to her "what's the matter Lucy, you used to love blood and death, you should be happy" Luan taunted

"No, I'm not like that anymore, I never want to be like that again. Please don't kill me!" Lucy pleaded

"Hmm, let me think…um no" she then pressed a button on the remote and the saws came to life, two came down and cut off her legs, another two came down and sliced off her arms, a big saw came down and began swinging back and forth slicing up her torso until it reached just under her ribs, another saw came down and slowly cut her chest in half before retracting, and the last saw came down, decapitating her "well that's quite a buzzcut she got" Luan said before she walked back over to the now pale Lincoln "onto the next victims" and she gave him another push.

This time he stopped in front of a sight that made his heart stop, Lana was now in just her shirt and panties, being suspended by her wrists underneath a large vat that was on stands. A tube was connected to the bottom of the vat with the other end in Lana's mouth, being held firmly in place with duct tape. "I've noticed that Lana can be such a glutton, especially with mud, in that vat is 10 gallons of mud of which our little tom boy is going to be having, lets just hope she has the stomach for it"

"No, Luan, please not her! Let me take her place, please I'm begging you!"

"Sorry, you should have thought of that before you said I was unfunny" and with that she opened the hatch which caused the mud to flow down straight into Lana's stomach. Lincoln watched as Lana's stomach kept expanding, a very faint pop was heard and Lana gave a muffled scream

"Luan no, stop this!"

"Uh, uh Lincoln, besides, it'll be over in a few seconds"

Lincoln watched as tears poured down Lana's face "no, no, stop, stop, STOP!" Lincoln looked around and saw that he was back in his classroom with everyone looking at him in surprise and the teacher standing next to him. It was now that he realised that he was hyperventilating and his heart was racing so fast that he would have a heart attack if it went any faster.

"Lincoln are you alright?" Mrs. Johnson asked realising that it was just another night terror he gave a sigh of relief

"Did you wake me?"

"Yes I did" she replied this was almost instantly followed by him clamping his arms around her waist and thanking her profusely, which surprised her. "Lincoln, why don't you go get a drink, Clyde can you go with him" Mrs. Johnson asked

"Yes ma'am" Clyde replied and he helped the shaking Lincoln to the drinking fountain "okay buddy, I know you said that you had a family issue on your birthday but you've been a mess all week, what happened?"

"The abridged version, Luan snapped, she tried to kill me and Paige, and now she's in a mental institution waiting for the trial tomorrow" Clyde was left stunned by this. After taking a few calming breaths Lincoln headed back to class with Clyde following him neither boy saying a word.


The Loud family as well as Paige and her family were now standing on the court house steps "daddy will Luan be locked away forever?" Lola asked

"We can only hope" he said, getting an annoyed look from his wife.

Lincoln was now so tired that Luna was basically carrying him "don't worry bro, once this is over you can rest easy" Luna said, Lincoln just gave a tired groan in response. Paige was fairing no better, now being in a zombie-like state with her older sister more or less guiding her as her legs just moved. Entering the court room the two families could see Luan wearing a white shirt and pants with her hands cuffed together and bandages covering her whole left arm and half of her face. Seeing her family as well as Paige, she gave them the same kind of look she'd given Lincoln when she had completely snapped, this brought the two kids out of their sleep deprived states.

The trial went surprisingly well, the judge was presented with the reports made by the police and paramedics, though the judge and anyone else who saw the picture of the skinned Paige either almost threw up or fainted on the spot. Lincoln and Paige told the judge what Luan had done to them, with Lincoln, as well as his family, going into detail about the kinds of pranks she had pulled in the past as well as how she acted in general. Luna had also presented the judge with Luan's diary which had markers on the pages that showed a more darker side to Luan. The judge was actually disturbed at some of the entries in the diary "well I think I've seen enough to incarcerate this young woman, but before I sentence you, do you have anything to say for yourself?" the Judge asked

"No, not really. However I do have something to say to snowflake and his bitch" Luan then turned to Lincoln and Paige while raising her bandaged arm "what doesn't kill you, only makes you…stranger"

"Luan you are sentenced to 12 years minimum at Daisy Hill's Mental Institution" the judge ordered

"You hear that? you've only got 12 years left to live" Luan said

"I said minimum, you could be committed there for the rest of your life" the judge said

Luan frowned at this as the bailiff escorted her away "as soon as I get out, I'll slaughter you all like the pigs you are!" she screamed before she disappeared behind a door. As the Louds and Paige's family began to leave the doors swung open as Luan came charging in and made a beeline straight for Lincoln. Lincoln's eyes widened at this but just as Luan was about to reach him, she was clotheslined by Luna, who then got on top of her and clamped her hands around her neck

"I want you to get this through your thick head bitch, for what you did to my little brother and Paige, if I ever see you again I will kill you"

"Great thing to say in a court room bitch, and don't you mean OUR little brother?" Luan questioned

"No, we've all agreed for what you've done you are no longer a part of this family, and, you are no longer a Loud" Luna said she then got off the surprised Luan who was then picked up by the bailiff

"And as a judge I declare what that young lady just said official" and the judge banged his gavel before a now furious Luan was taken away. As the two families left the courtroom, both Lincoln and Paige were hit with the relief that they wouldn't have to worry about that psychopath anymore, and as soon as they had done up their seatbelts in their respective families cars, they fell asleep.


Having essentially gone into a coma due to a lack of sleep Lincoln woke up just past dinner time, he guessed that he had fallen asleep in the car and his family, most likely Luna and Leni had carried him to his room. As he exited his room he saw Lana exiting hers with a huge bag full of clothes "hey Linc! Did you sleep well?" she asked

"Yeah, and I didn't have any night terrors"

"That's great to hear" and she gave her brother a hug

"So what's with the bag of clothes?"

"Oh well seeing as how Luan isn't living here anymore, we put her stuff up in the attic and I'm moving in with Luna"

Lincoln thought back to when everyone swapped roommates and thanks to Lisa's match making machine Luna and Lana got paired together "huh, well that's really convenient. You two should make great roommates"

"Yep, oh by the way your dinners in the fridge, better be quick though, I think Lynn's still hungry"

remembering that they were having meatballs tonight he looked and saw Lynn sticking her head out of her door "oh no you don't!" and he shot forward so fast that the wind he made blew Lana's cap off while at the same time Lynn shot downstairs. A lot of fighting was heard followed by silence.

About a minute later a battered Lynn limped upstairs "I gotta hand it to him, he just really wanted those meatballs more" she said before limping into her room and collapsing onto her bed

"*sigh* I'll go get the Overdrive" Lisa said and she headed to her lab to retrieve said substance.


Luan was lying on her bed in her new room/cell, her good hand behind her head and her bad arm resting on her stomach with her legs crossed as she stared out of the barred cell window with a grin on her face as the light from the full moon shone on her "and so the final chapter of Luan Loud has come to a close, left to rot away in a cell until Lucifer himself comes to drag me away deep into the fiery pits of hell. However, there will be an epilogue to this final chapter. One which will be written in a certain white haired little boy's blood" she then raised her bandaged hand so it looked like the moon (which to her had changed into Lincoln's head) was resting in her palm "so goodnight. Sleep tight (clenches her hand into a fist) Because I'll kill you in the night" and loud insane laughter echoed around the mental institution.


Authors note: And with this story Luan has been "killed off" sorry to all Luan fans but i just hate her as a character in general. and encase any of you are wondering why Paige's dialogue when she was calling 911 was off, you try saying the words starting with m or p without moving your lips.