One more test…One more test…And it's Western Civ. Ugh.

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Gesshoku stood sullenly in front of a floor-length mirror as the seamstress added pins to the hem of her wedding kimono. It was three days before her wedding and the garment was almost complete. The finishing touches were to be made later that afternoon. It was a dusty pink in color, with purple trim. The obi was a pale, earthy green, tied securely around her waste, the bow in the front. It was very pretty, and very festive, though she doubted any one else realized the significance of the colors.

She hated that kimono.

She fingered the pink silk, letting it slide through her fingers. Pink; the color of joy. There's no joy in this…None at all. What a Christmas. I look terrible in this thing; so unlike myself. Whoever this man is, he'll be thinking I'm something I'm not. I feel sorry for him already.

I miss Kamatari. I miss him so much…This would be so much more fun if he were here. I can imagine…he would get all excited about trying on clothes. A faint smile graced her lips and she nearly laughed, picturing her friend in her kimono.

"Turn around, Dear." Her mother's voice came from behind, "Let us see how beautiful you look."

"Mama, please…" She turned slowly, her eyes on the floor.

Sonomi, Harusame, Nisshoku and Kumori were her audience for this whole kimono fitting. Sojiro was gone to Kyoto on another mysterious errand. Nisshoku was the only one who seemed at ease in the tailor's shop, the two younger girls were leery of the place and the femininity it represented. Kumori was oblivious to everything other than the fact that her daughter was to be married in three days.

"You look stunning. Although…I'm not sure why Aika wanted you in pink, purple and green, but you look wonderful." Her mother chirped, happy that her daughter hadn't put up a fight.

"I don't like it." The girl twisted around again, looking at her reflection once more. She wondered if fate were teasing her; having her mother-in-law want her garments in those particular colors. She had read up on Advent in one of her Western books and the colors meant a lot to her; the purple of waiting, the pink of joy and her favorite, the green. In a Christmas sense, green stood for hope.

"You do look very nice, Gessho, even if you don't look like yourself." Harusame offered kindly.

"I agree." Sonomi nodded, "The colors are good on you. But you just don't look like…you."

Nisshoku frowned. "That look is all wrong on you, Sister. You should not be in kimonos."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter how I look." Came the dull reply. She knew it didn't matter. Her husband would marry her no matter what, simply because he was obligated to. There would be no love.

The three young women frowned in unison. This was not Gesshoku as they knew her. She was losing a part of herself. That worried them all.

* * * * *

"Kamatari, you have to go see her." A very faint trace of a frown crossed Sojiro's face, "It's been six days and Aoiroten-san has become very withdrawn. She acts like nothing matters any more. She misses you and no one knows what to do."

Kamatari sighed, looking down at the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look at his friend, for fear that he would burst into tears. What no one seemed to understand was that the whole thing was just as hard on him as it was on Gessho. "Sou, I can't do that. It will only hurt us both more."

"You care very much about Aoiroten-san. She loves you. You don't want things to ever change. Neither does she. Just marry her already and everything can go back to normal. You're only causing suffering for her and yourself. End it already. Think how happy she'll be."

"I can't…Sojiro, I can't tell her that, just like you can't seem to express your feelings for Harusame."

At this, the young man turned very red. A sheepish smile crossed his face and he stammered out a reply. "Ah, yes, well…That is a little bit different. I care for Harusame-san in a way which you don't care for Aoiroten-san." He scratched the back of his head, "I think I love her, Kamatari."

"Good for you, Sou. I really think she likes you too, but she's rather shy about it. Hence the hatred of mistletoe. She doesn't want any one to know."

"Did…" Sojiro paused, a question on the tip of his tongue. He was dying to know if they had really kissed. He and Sonomi had discussed it thoroughly, and they both would give and arm and a leg to know the truth. "Did she really kiss you, Kamatari?"

"Gessho? Yeah, she did. The day we were leaving." He closed his eyes briefly, remembering her kiss. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it…"It was surprisingly nice." …You said it! Mentally, he slapped himself.

"You…enjoyed it?" Sojiro's eyebrows went up. This was new and intriguing. If he liked it, why was he fighting this wedding? Why was he causing so much suffering for Gesshoku? How could he live with himself, knowing that she was hurting because he was a coward?

"A little." Kamatari shifted uncomfortably, wondering why he was even discussing it with the former Tenken. This was none of Sojiro's business; it was all between himself and Gessho. He could feel his throat tightening. Just thinking about her was upsetting.

"Please, just think about coming to see her. She's terribly lonely, even with us there. You know how Aoiroten-san is. She won't let on that she's so distraught. But she is. The only other time I've ever seen her suffer so much was when you were missing."

"She does try to be brave…But she cries when she thinks people aren't listening. I know how it is since I'm the same way."

"Yes, I know. Learning to live again is difficult, Kamatari. I've seen how you do it…You smile that sad smile and you laugh like it's going out of style. You say you're doing just fine, but on the inside you're dying. You're doing what I did. And it won't help. Just go tell her hello and see how she's doing. It would make her so happy."

"I'll think about it. Now get out of here and don't you go telling her anything, Sou. I have things to do." A faint smile crossed Kamatari's face as he imagined the joy Gessho would express if he went to visit her, "And a lot of things to think about."

"Ganbatte, Kamatari." The boy smiled gently. His friend would need all the luck he could get to survive this.

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"I don't understand why I can't meet my groom before I marry him." Gesshoku looked pointedly at her mother, "I don't even know his name."

"It's tradition, Dear. You won't see him until the wedding. If he hadn't run off, you would know him already. He used to come visit you often when you were a child."

"Is he older than me? What does he look like? Tell me, Mama. I want to know."

"He's seven years older than you are. And I haven't seen him since he was fifteen, so I don't know what he looks like any more. Last I remember, he was a very attractive boy, with light hair that was sort of long. He would come to work here and he'd always visit you. You called him 'big brother' and he called you 'little lady' or 'koishii.' You loved him so back then…"

"Maybe I'll learn to love him again." She said slowly, Kamatari's voice in her mind. Perhaps you will grow to love him, Darling. Perhaps in time you won't think so badly of him. Maybe she would grow to love him, after time. She had loved him in the past, after all. But then…She loved Kamatari. She loved him more than anything. This was so confusing…

"That's the spirit, Dear. Try to think positive."

"Did you love Father when you married him?" Gessho asked softly. Her mother had been fooling around with her hair for about an hour, trying to figure out some way to style it. She kept it short -it was easier to manage when she traveled- and not much could be done with it.

Kumori let go of her daughter's short locks. "I didn't love your father. In fact, I hated him. There was a man I was deeply in love with, a man I could not marry."

"Why not?"

"Because I was to marry your father. Hiatari was a wonderful man…He went on to be the father of your groom. He learned to love Aika, much as I learned to love your father. But I hated him when I married him, because he ruined my chance for happiness with Hiatari. This is just the way things are when you come from a well-to-do family, Gesshoku."

"Why isn't Nissho getting married then?" The younger of the twins had been pondering over this for a while. Nisshoku was the older of the two. She should have gotten married first.

"Your father never found a suitable groom for her. She has always been difficult and no one seemed like a good match for her. Your father knew the second you were born that Hiatari's son was perfect for you. He is so like you. I remember how he acted as a child and how you acted as you grew…Your father made a good choice. You two were made for each other."

"But Mama…He's been gone ten years. Who knows what happened to him in that time. He must be very different now."

"This is true. I'm sure he is different." Her mother agreed.

If only they knew how different…

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"Where have you been?"

Sojiro blinked his brilliant blue eyes. Harusame was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at him, her hands on her hips. He smiled cheerfully at her, his heart fluttering wildly. "I had an errand to run, Harusame."

"You were gone for a long time!" She frowned deeply, her brown eyes full of something he could not identify. She almost looked…jealous.

"I went all the way to Kyoto. It took a long time."

"What were you doing?"

"I'm afraid that is no business of yours." He said slowly. In truth, he had done a little shopping after he saw Kamatari and she didn't need to know that he had bought her a present.

"Fine then. Forget I was worried about you." She turned on her heal to move away.

"You were worried about me?" He sounded disbelieving. Why would any one worry about him? He could easily hold his own. He had been the Tenken, after all. With a sword, he was deadly. "Why?"

"Because I was!" She snapped peevishly.

The smallest of frowns crossed Sojiro's face. He had grieved Harusame and that was not what he wanted. "Gomen nasai, Harusame. I didn't mean to upset you. Okamainaku; I'm not worth it."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you…This whole thing with Gessho is stressing me out. I just wanted to have a nice Christmas, now everything is messed up."

"Ah, I'm sure we can still have a nice Christmas."

"I'm worried about Gessho. She tries to be so unconcerned about this, but she hates the idea. She just sits around, staring out the window and missing Kamatari. I hate to see her so sad. It's very un-Gessho-like."

"Hai; I agree. But this won't just go away, no matter how much any of us want it to. But don't fret. Sometimes there are Christmas miracles, after all."

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Kamatari stood at the end of the road leading to Kobe, his hair whipped in his eyes by the wind. Snow swirled around him, dancing on the air, creating a wonderful Christmas-y atmosphere. Gessho would have loved this weather.

Debating whether or not he wanted to see her was not an option. He knew he wanted to see her. It was only a matter of convincing himself it was the right thing. He thought ahead to future Christmases; Gesshoku happy and cheerful once more. They would be happy together - he was sure of this - but he couldn't seem to convince his mind of what he knew in his heart.

I can't do it. I can't. not yet, at least. I need a little more time to think things through. I still have three days…I'll make it up to her. She'll understand.

Koishii, I'm coming for you. Just wait a little longer…

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YAY! Another chapter done! I'll get to work on the next one soon, so click it and tell me what ya think! ^__^