Belong
Gabriella Montez has been abandoned by her mother, and after going through many homes, she's finally settled on one, the absolute perfect family, put into a new world, one she's never experienced, full of love and she's stuck between moving on but hanging on, accepting love and giving love. Will her new parents, and the sweet boy next door, finally reach out, and show her that she belongs? Rated M for future chapters.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but original characters. And I give credit to Sarah Dessen on her book Lock and Key for inspiring me to write this story.
A/N: Okay, well, here's the next update! Wow, a lot of you guys were shocked. Well, you won't be the only one. Thanks for reviewing, it really means a lot :) There's Troyella fluff in here, but also a devastating encounter. Read up to find out!
Chapter Nine
Pain
He's lying.
That's the only logical explanation to this fucked up shit. He's lying, and he's just playing some sick, sadistic joke on me. There's no way Carl could be my brother. He has to be lying.
"Gabriella." He was standing now, his voice a tiny quiver. "Say something. Anything."
"Wow," I said, chuckling dryly, and combing my fingers through my hair. "That's… you had me fooled. I mean, as sick and twisted as this joke was, you got me."
"Gabriella, this isn't a joke," Annie said quietly.
I looked at both of them. Their faces were serious, and either they were really good actors or they were telling the truth. But they couldn't be. Carl couldn't have been my brother. My mother was only pregnant with me.
"You're lying," I whispered. "This can't be true―you're both lying."
"I know it's shocking, Gabriella," Carl said. "But no one is lying. After I heard that mom left you, I fought to become your legal guardian."
"You fought?" I said. "What about the other thirteen years of my life, huh? Did you fight then?" I pushed the tears away, replacing them with anger. "You left me in that goddamned house for thirteen years with―with a crack whore knowing that she was unstable and I could get hurt! I did get hurt, Carl, every day. Emotionally and physically, but you weren't there to protect me. I suffered in that house, Carl!"
"Gabriella… mom… she threw me in an orphanage when I was eleven. You were one. I wanted to go back for you, but I couldn't. Ad believe me, when I was eighteen, I tried to get you back. But mom kept moving, and… I wanted to protect you, Gabriella. Please understand that I tried. But it's not as simple as you think it is."
He was right. But a part of me didn't care about that. I just needed someone to blame. But apparently my walls weren't big enough, because I broke down. A sob ripped from my throat, and Carl was over to me in a second. He wrapped his arms around me, and I pressed my face into his shirt. "I wanted to get you back, Gabs," Carl whispered, rubbing my back. "I needed to get you back, and every day that I failed to do that, I hated myself for it. I hated mom, too."
I sniffled and pulled back, looking him in the eyes. They were shiny with tears. "It wasn't your fault," I whispered, and my voice was off balanced. I shook my head and sighed. "And… I have so many questions."
"I have answers," he said. "Do you think you can wait until after school?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine, I guess."
Carl nodded and pulled me into another hug. "I love you." I breathed in, and nodded. Not yet, I reminded myself. I couldn't let him in just yet. "I'll see you guys later," Annie said once we pulled away. Carl gave her a short kiss, and then she left out the door. I grabbed my back pack and was just about to go as well, but Carl's voice stopped me.
"He was a great man," he said. "Too great for her. But he died, in a car accident, when I was seven. That's when she… changed."
I nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later, Carl."
Then I left.
The morning was cold and brittle. I looked around, hoping that Troy had already left, or wasn't ready, and when the coast was clear, I took off down the road.
It was so surreal. Carl was my brother. My mother had given him away at the tender age of eleven, younger than when I'd been abandoned as well. I clenched my fingers into a fist, as the hatred I felt for that woman grew. How could she do this to her kids? Did she have more that she gave away as well? Is this why she ran away?
I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I couldn't cry over her. She's not worth it.
"You don't look happy at all."
I jumped slightly, and turned my head to look beside me. Troy's car was silently rolling up next to me, his window down as he leaned slightly towards me. I sighed and shook my head. "Wow, what a mind reader you are."
"I practice sometimes." There was a short pause. "Gabriella, it's cold and windy. Get in the car."
"Who said I don't like cold and windy?"
"Please. I know you don't want to talk about last night, but we have to."
"No we don't."
"Yeah we do. It's not just something I can forget, and I know it's not anything you can forget, either." I stopped, swallowing, and knowing that he's right. With a sigh, I nodded and Troy stopped, unlocking the doors. I slipped in.
"What happened last night can't happen again," I said firmly when we pulled off.
"But you want it to happen again." Statement, not a question. My silence must've given him his answer, because Troy chuckled. "Why are you trying to fight it, Gabriella? It's not immoral to have feelings for someone."
"With a relationship comes trust, and loyalty, and love," I said quietly. "I've been deprived of those three things all my life and it's not easy for me to just let someone in."
"Let me earn it then," he said. "Let me own your trust, and your loyalty, and your… love."
"You don't know me, Troy. I've got a lot of baggage. I mean, I just found out that―uh, that, my mom had another kid. I'm damaged, messed up, fucked up―whatever you want to call it."
"You're funny," he said. "Pretty. Nice. You're fun to be around. Why can't you look at the good things? Sure, your life may not be perfect, but no one's is. And that just makes you human. It's what makes you normal."
"I'm not… exactly sure what normal is," I whispered. Troy was quiet as he turned down a foreign road, away from the school. I blinked, confused, and looked over at him. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see. Do you trust me?"
I paused. Did I trust him?
"Yeah. I… trust you."
The road dissolved into a dirty patch, and we didn't stop until Troy pulled up by a lake. It was like a lake you'd see in a movie. With the big tree, and a rope hanging down from it to make it even better. Troy and I exited the car.
"Normal," he said. "Is different for everyone." He kicked off his shoes, and started to pull his shirt off. I swallowed. "Troy. What are you doing?"
"This is normal for me."
"Undress in front of girls? Classy."
"No, I mean this." He left his pants on and walked up to the tree, grabbing hold of the rope. My eyebrows rose as he backed up, and then launched himself forward, letting go of the rope when he was in mid-air and his body positioned over the middle of the lake. He resurfaced, laughing, and shaking the water from his hair. "This looks like the least normal thing ever," I told him, deadpan. Troy laughed and climbed out of the lake. "I'm just trying to show you that―"
"You're slightly crazy?"
"―you can be normal even in the most unusual places."
I nodded, and contemplated my next move. And before I could even think any farther, I was yanking my shoes off as well, and pulling my shirt off my head, revealing my pink cami. "This kind of normal seems fun," I said, taking the rope in my hands. Troy smiled. "Not too crazy for you?"
"I revolve around crazy," I replied, and then ran forward. I let out a yelp when I became air born, and then let go of the rope. The water smacked me in the face, and it was both painful and exhilarating. There was another splash, and I knew Troy had followed me. "Not as crazy as you thought, huh?" he asked. I shook my head. "Not really. Cheesy, maybe, but not that crazy." Troy smirked and swam up next to me. The water was damn-near negative degrees, but when he wrapped his arms away, I warmed up. I curled my arms around his sculpted his abdomen and looked up at him. "You still think this is a bad idea?" he whispered.
I closed my eyes and sighed, shaking my head. "No. Not really." Then I opened my eyes. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Make me smile. Make me feel good about myself. Not many people can do that."
He caressed my cheek, and this time, I leaned into it. "I'm not like other people, maybe."
"No. You're not." He pulled my closer and our noses nudged together. "I think you're a lie." I raised my arms to loop them around his neck. "Guys like you don't exist in my world." And then I felt the unmistakable wetness of tears tickle my cheeks. Troy chuckled lightly before pressing our lips together. I had kissed a few guys before, but none like Troy. His hands felt good against my skin, and his lips were soft and inviting. His arms tightened around me, pulling me closer, and through the thin wet material of my shirt, I could feel his muscles bulging against my stomach. His kiss was fierce, yet passionate, and I felt like I could be with him forever. Let the pain melt away with his warmth and acceptance.
"Thank you," I murmured against his lips. We departed, and he looked at me, a loud grin on his face. "Are you ready to get going?"
"Well, actually, can I, uh, show you something?"
"Here?"
"No, I mean… a house. It's, uh, not far from here."
"Yeah. Come on."
We climbed out of the lake and Troy helped me dry off with a towel in his back seat, and then dried himself off. I giggled and teased at how messy his hair was we nearly fell back into the lake when he started chasing me.
"So, uh, is it an old home?"
"Yeah. I want to go see someone."
Troy nodded, and I lead him towards it. My body was tingling with nerves. Would she even be there? It's highly unlikely, and I wouldn't be too surprised if she wasn't there. But I needed to try. I needed answers.
"Is this the one?" Troy pulled up in the block, and a dose of nostalgia hit me. The house still looked the same. Rickety and old as hell and there were even some dead flowers in the lawn. I nodded and shakily exited the car. "Uh, why don't you stay here? I'll just be a minute.'
"You sure? This place looks…"
"Yeah, I know. But I'll be fine. Promise." Just to show him that I would, I kissed him briefly on the lips. He grinned and I slung off to the house. My heart was in my throat, and I felt the urge to throw up as I reached under the mat and unlocked the door. It was shadowy, and a few mice scattered past my feet as I walked in.
"Jeremy?"
I stopped.
Oh, God. I'm going to be sick.
She was lying on the couch, drinking a beer and watching TV. My fingers were shaking, and I was sweaty, despite how cold it was. She turned around, ready to speak again, but she stopped when she saw me. "Mom," I whispered. The shock wore off in a few seconds. She tossed her beer on the floor and groaned. "What do you want? God, don't you see I'm busy?"
I stopped. I had feared I'd start crying, but I didn't. No, I wasn't sad or relieved.
I was angry.
"What do I want?" I hissed. "What the fuck do you think I want?" I walked over to the TV, shoving my finger hard against the power button. My mom groaned again and at up. "God, what pissed on you this morning?"
"Is that all you really have to say?" I asked quietly. "What do I want? After four years… is that all you really have to say?"
"Hon," she said. "Listen. I thought I made myself very clear. I don't want any children, I never did."
"Is that why you threw out Carl?"
"Fuck yes. That boy was annoying. I swear. I thought I was going to explode. I mean, not as annoying as you, but still. God, I should have given you up to the orphanage, too, but―" Her words died on her tongue as my hand made contact with her face. The slap was hard, and my palm even stung. I was so stupid for wanting to come here. What did I expect? That she'd welcome me with open arms? This woman was a heartless as anything, and she'd never change.
"That's payback for all those times you hit me," I said quietly. "You're a bitch, and honestly, I hope you burn in hell." She just sat still, looking up at me with wide, shocked eyes. "Before I leave, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being such a great disappointment." I paused for a beat, and then turned and walked away and out the door. The onslaught of tears finally submerged, and I couldn't even make it to the car. I broke down. I fell to the ground, cupping my hands around my face, and sobbing. I'd cried because of my mom before but not quite like this. The first night as living as a foster kid, I cried myself to sleep each night, hating my mother for doing this to me. This visit was painful. She had treated me like the dirt she stepped on, like I was nothing to her. She had basically said it, too. I wish she had given me away. Maybe I wouldn't be like this if she had.
I felt two large arms pulling me into their body, cradling me and carrying me to the car. I felt foolish and stupid for crying in front of Troy, but I couldn't help it. It was like someone had just ripped a hole through my heart, and jammed it repeatedly with a knife.
This visit has been like a slap in the face, and a reality check. I hugged my knees and tucked my head between them. Troy was still rubbing my back and pressing kisses to my forehead.
"Why did she hate me?" I choked out. "Why did she just abandon me like that? What have I ever done to her?"
"I don't know," he whispered. "I'm sorry." My tears began to dwindle and I pulled my head up. I took a deep breath and gave him a sorry excuse for a smile. "Thank you, Troy. Can we, uh, go to school now?"
"You sure you want to go?" he asked skeptically. I nodded. "Yeah. I can't always run away from my fears. I'm not… I'm not like her."
"I know you aren't," he said, grinning. He got in the car and pulled off.
I didn't even spare one last glance to that hellhole. She didn't deserve it.
Well, how's that? I know it isn't the longest, but it's a chapter ^.^ And Troy and Gabriella are getting closer, and I guess you can say, are a couple now. Maybe. Kind of. Well, anyway, Ms. Montez will be back soon. As much as I hate her, she and Carl must see each other again, right? Or maybe Gabriella will see her again. Well, anyway, hope you review!
Thanks!-Brittany
