A/N: One of my favorite "ships that could have been" is Aragorn/Éowyn – as expressed in my oneshot collection, Hopeless. These next two chapters will be slightly Aragorn/Éowyn centric. Apologies for the delay in posting – I'm almost finished with final exams for medical school, and I have been cramming. This chapter is based on the Bee Gees' "Staying Alive" and is dedicated to Cupcake155, who suggested the song.


Valinor:

"Further," Eönwë continued irritably, "you have been known to meddle in the affairs of the high and the noble."

"If you're talking about that time in Rohan . . . It needed to happen," Alassë snapped. "Feelings needed to be properly expressed. That's my freaking calling, you imbecilic, pus-filled paper-pusher. I helped that emotionally constipated, stoic idiot talk about what he was thinking and feeling so that poor girl could heal and move on. I was doing something good."

The messenger scoffed. "As ever, you think only of yourself and fail to see how your actions affect others."

"Really? Really? Well, here's what happened…"


The Dark, Cold, and Rainy Battle of Helm's Deep

Aragorn son of Arathorn paused in front of his legion of Elvish archers. He inhaled deeply, allowing the cool, wet air to fill his lungs. Battle was approaching, and he felt nothing but excitement. Turning to give his men – er, elves – some final instructions, the Dúnadan started to sing instead:

"Well, you can tell by the way I tend to walk

That I'm a Dúnadan, no time to talk.

Always cold and never warm, I've been wand'ring round since I was born.

And now it's all right, it's okay. I'll stop this wandering someday.

No untried kid could understand the Ranger life's effect on Man

Whether you're a Ranger or whether you're a stranger

You're staying alive, stayin alive.

Feel men's courage breaking, the battlements are shaking

But we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah ha ha ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah ha ha ha stayin' alive!"

The onslaught of the orcs had now properly begun, and the Ranger was soon swept away from his friends. Drawing his sword, he rushed into the battle. Nothing mattered except for the carnage in front of him. Nothing, until suddenly he heard the voice of Legolas soaring over the tumult, clear and strong and spirited.

"Well now I shoot low, and I shoot high

And with every shot, an orc will die.

Got the straightest arrows, the swiftest shoes

I'm a fighting elf, and I just can't lose.

Aragorn, it's all right, it's okay. We'll live to see another day.

But no Elf can try to understand the effect that bloodlust has on Man.

Don't know what's up with this Ranger; he keeps on acting stranger

But we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Our Fellowship was breaking, but now revenge we're taking

And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah ha ha ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah ha ha ha stayin' alive!"

Aragorn really did not have time for his friend's worries. He was too busy sprinting for the inner parts of the keep to counsel with Théoden. Before he could reach the king, however, a figure stepped out of a shadowy corridor and clutched at his mail sleeve. It was Éowyn.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded sharply, his concern expressing itself as harshness. "Your place is safe with the women and children. Go back to them!"

But she ignored this reprimand, staring rather at the elvish necklace that he wore. She mumbled something, and the Ranger had to lean closer to hear the words.

"Life going nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.

You came from nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah. I'm staying alive."

There was nothing for it now. Aragorn took her gently by the arm and started leading Éowyn back towards the barred doors that led to the caves beneath the hold. To his shock, he found himself singing. Again.

"Well, you can tell by the way I tend to walk

That I'm a taken man – no time to talk

To pretty girls – or Arwen scorned will make me wish I wasn't born

It's gonna be all right; it'll be okay. You'll find your perfect guy someday.

But I guess that I can understand the effect I have on all women.

You don't see me as just a brother, but since all we've got's each other,

Gonna keep you stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Hear the shield line breaking, feel the culvert quaking

But you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah ha ha ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah ha ha ha stayin' alive!"

Once he had gotten her safely back, Aragorn ran for the battlements, his plans to confer with Théoden abandoned. He had to check on his friends. By the time he reached the walls, they had already been breached, and Uruks were pouring into the city.

He searched in vain for a red dwarven beard or Haldir's golden armor or even Éomer's plumed helmet. In the end, it was Legolas who found him and grabbed Aragorn by the wrist.

"Come on!" he yelled, dragging the Man back towards the keep. "It's too late now. We must retreat!"

"Where's Gimli?" Aragorn asked, saying the words slowly to prevent them coming out in song.

"He and Éomer were forced back to the caves, I think," Legolas replied as the two sprinted up the stairs. "They'll be all right. They were pushed back by the fighting, but I could hear them singing the whole time."

The Ranger felt a deep sense of dread. "Singing?"

"Truly strange. Something alongs the lines of:

'Orcs came from nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.

They came from nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah. We're stayin' alive!'

But they'll be fine. Come on, Aragorn." The Man had paused near the door to the keep and was gazing towards the entrance to the caves, a look of fear on his face. "We must hurry!"

Hurry, yes. That sounded prudent. Aragorn followed the wood elf through the great stone doorway, hoping that Gimli and Éomer would indeed be all right. And that this horrible singing would cease.