"Corporal!" screeched Burns his lipless mouth creasing into a typical Frank frown.
"Yes sir!" shouted Klinger and Radar in unison as they stood to attention in front of him, Radar in his proper attire (well if you can call those flea ridden uniforms proper) and Klinger in his fluffy pink dressing gown, army boots, with his hair in curlers, a cigar in his mouth and his rifle over his right shoulder.
"O'Reilly! Corporal O'Reilly!" He stamped his feet firmly on the ground and made himself seem like a four year old rather than a middle aged man.
Klinger trooped away trying to contain his laughter as best he could but failing rather miserably.
"What did you want sir?" Radar questioned placing a serious expression onto his spotted expression and stuffed his giggling deep into his mind.
"The Major, he seems a good decent man but if Pierce and McIntyre get any time with him they'll plant you know… thoughts in his head."
"Heaven forbid sir," Radar uttered with a clear hint of sarcasm.
"What did you say Corporal?" Frank leaned forward so that his "menacing" glare could not be avoided.
"I said "Heaven forbid," sir," Radar repeated dropping the sarcasm from his tone.
"Right then O'Reilly. You make sure that I get to speak with The Major first. You got that?!" he growled jabbing his grubby fore finger into Radar's chest.
Yeah, I got it, sir" he answered turning around instantly with a spark of anger mixed with hate lingering in his eyes. He stepped away from the still screaming Frank and once out from the piercing gaze he rubbed his chest and winced in pain. Forget it Major I'll keep Hawk and Trap informed, we need a real good prank around here it's been too long. He smiled to himself and scuttled towards Post Op.
The Lipless Wonder stood outside his mistress' door preparing his pathetic sop story so that Margaret would comfort him. He gave their new, new secret knock and waited for her answer but there was no answer, not a murmur. Panic stricken he threw the door open and searched the room for her. About to give up he hears her familiar chortle and peaks his head around the door. Walking along with her is the Doctor in the direction of her tent.
"Really Major, General MacArthur is a friend of yours?"
"Well, he was such a good boy when he was very young I don't quite know what made him so bloodthirsty. It's a shame when good people turn evil like my friend… Well ex friend, Koschei he is so power mad he'd rival, Stalin, Mussolini, Hitler, Fidel Castro and Saddam Hussein," The Doctor's eyes had turned slightly darker thinking of his best enemy, The Master.
"Saddam who?" Margaret was clearly confused having never heard that name before.
"Oh, you wouldn't know him, well not yet anyway. Ok well thank you Major Houlihan I'll bear that in mind. Good day to you. I will see you for my first shift this evening."
"Efficiency, that's what I like to see and finally someone with good manners." Houlihan seemed to be impressed again by the Doctor.
"Yes, good manners seem too hard to come by nowadays. Till we meet again Major." The Doctor replied saluting his fellow officer.
"Indeed." She returned the salute and watched him stride away before drawing her attention to the now worried face of Frank.
"Bear what in mind Margaret?" he asked obviously troubled by what he'd seen.
"Oh Frank don't be such a worrier. I was just telling The Major to bear in mind that some medical decisions are different in the US Army from the British Army so he should bear in mind to make sure to use only US Army methods. He told me he'd use the Yale and Harvard medical texts as references if he needed to. .Anyway Frank he could teach you a thing or two about manners and etiquette y'know," she answered now turning her head back to the direction the Doctor had walked away in.
"What?! Margaret!"
"Good day Major Burns. I'm not to be disturbed until this evening's shift, I have a terrible headache."
Before Frank could react she marched into her tent and slammed the door in his face and before he could make his escape the vultures began to circle.
"Trouble at home, Frank?" questioned Trapper innocently with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"The Major has a headache."
"I'm glad you realise what you are, Frank," smiled Hawkeye, patting Frank firmly on the back before leaving for the Swamp still in his Operating gown with Trapper in tow still with that little glint of mischief in his eye.
"You.. You," he managed in defence.
"Why does he always have to offend us like this? We are not, Frank." Hawkeye stepped back towards Frank with a fake, dramatic rage.
"I thought we were becoming better friends, Frank. I guess I was wrong. It's such a shame." Trapper shook his head in dismay and he and Hawkeye continued their quest to find the holy martini glass.
Frank was about to follow them when he noticed a crowd of people laughing at him. He stormed towards the Colonel's office.
"Captain Smith! Captain!"
Radar came charging towards Sarah from across the compound.
"Yes, Radar? What's the trouble?" she asked watching the adolescent gasping for breath.
"The.. Major.. Wanted me to.. give you.. these." He dropped the medical journals into her hands. "He said you'd need them for reference and yeah also to make sure you know when his shifts are. He said you'd understand what he meant."
"Yes.. I think I do. Thank you kindly, Radar and by the way slow down you'll hurt yourself if you don't take a break."
"No time, sir.. Ma'am. Can't have this place falling apart," he said before turning on his heels and disappearing into Colonel Blake's office once more.
Sarah noticed that even though it was an arrogant thing to say it seemed quite true. This young boy stopped this chaotic place from falling apart. He had probably been told this because there was a twinge of doubt in his eyes as he said his parting words.
"Burns! Get out!" bellowed Colonel Blake to his snivelling second in command.
"Al.. al… alright sir. I'll see you in Post Op la.." Frank's grovelling began.
"OUT!"
Frank scurried away narrowly missing Radar who was entering the Colonel's office with a message in his hands. Henry had to contain his new happiness and delight when he saw what Pierce and McIntyre had stuck on the major's back. It read: South Korean Peace Offering - Unlikely To Work. War Will Over Run By Five Years.
"Message from Soeul, sir." Radar handed Henry the message. "It's pretty important."
Henry could tell his company clerk had seen the contents of the letter. In silence he tore up the envelope and quickly read the contents. His head fell and his pressed his hands onto his desk, letting the paper slip to the floor in front of him,his dark eyes filled with sorrow.
"Tell.. Radar tell,…tell Joey to announce that casualties are on their way…at least one hundred of them."
Sorry it took me so long. So much work from school. It's a real drag. I'll do the best I can with the next chapter. I managed to get to a decent length this time thank goodness.
