A Promise to Keep

Chapter 9

At the last moment she answered.

"Hello."

"Jenny? It's Mike Franks."

"Hello, Mike. You're looking for Jethro I suppose."

"Yeah. Been calling since Friday and no answer. He's not at work. He there with you?"

"No, I'm afraid not. You say you tried him at work?"

"Tried him everywhere. What's goin' on up there?"

For some reason the concern in his voice broke through to Jenny and she lost the tenuous hold she'd kept on her emotions since Friday night. She hesitated and couldn't speak for a long moment.

"Jenny, what's wrong? You two break up or something'?"

"Oh Mike I don't know where to start."

"The beginning's usually best. Is Jethro alright?"

"As far as I know. I haven't seen him since Friday night. When he left here he was very upset but he was alright physically."

"Maybe you better tell me what's the matter. Jethro has never not answered my calls and you sound like you're cryin'."

Jenny took a deep breath. She knew if anyone could explain Jethro's reaction to her news it was Mike.

"Okay here it is. Jethro found out on Friday that I'm pregnant. When I told him I wasn't planning to keep the baby he freaked out. He went from angry to crying in a matter of a minute or less. Then he went from begging me to threatening me in the next two minutes. I have never seen Jethro like that and I don't know why he was so very upset. In fact upset doesn't even begin to describe his reaction. I tried to explain rationally why now was not the time for me to have a baby but he just refused to accept what I was telling him. When he left he pretty much threatened me if I didn't at least talk to him again before I did anything so I agreed. I haven't seen or talked to him since then."

Mike was silent. Of course he knew exactly why Jethro had reacted the way he did and he couldn't understand why Jenny didn't get it. He was pretty sure Jethro had said he told her about Shannon and Kelly. Jenny was a smart woman so he couldn't figure why she was so dense on this subject. He decided to say exactly what he thought.

"Jethro told you about what happened when he was in Kuwait didn't he?"

"Yes, he told me his wife had been killed while he was deployed. In a car accident he said."

"And his little girl?"

Jenny went still and silent. She didn't breathe.

"Jenny you there?"

"His little girl? What are you talking about?"

Mike shook his head. That explains it he thought.

"Jethro and Shannon had a little girl named Kelly. She was killed with her mother. She was eight years old. And it wasn't really a car accident. They were murdered by a drug lord. Or his people anyway. Shannon was going to be a witness against a cartel leader in a drug case. They killed the NCIS guy driving them and Shannon and Kelly died in the crash."

"Well that explains a lot. No wonder he kept saying, 'don't kill my child'. Why didn't he tell me about his daughter when he told me about Shannon?"

"He doesn't talk about them much. I can't explain it. You need to talk to him, Jenny. I know this is none of my business but if you abort this baby it will be a terrible blow for Jetho. I'm sure he'll want the child and he'll be a good father."

Jenny suddenly had a question she needed an answer to.

"Mike what happened to the man who killed them?"

"He died in Mexico I believe."

"How?"

Mike hesitated just a moment too long. Like Jenny had done with Jethro on Friday night.

"Don't know for sure."

That hesitation and the vague answer told Jenny what she needed to know.

"Jethro would never hurt you Jenny."

"You didn't hear him, Mike. It scared me."

"That's what he was trying to do. He needed to buy some time. I know Jethro like I know myself and he would never hurt you. Trust me on that."

"I know that in my heart but he was so….well I've never seen him like that. Oh Mike, I feel so horrible for him. I don't know what to do."

"Go talk to him. Whatever your reasons are for not wanting a baby please just think about what you'd be doing to Jethro. Losing his daughter nearly killed him Jenny. I mean that literally. Nearly killed him."

"I need to go. I'll tell Jethro to call you. Thank you for telling me Mike. Goodbye."

"Bye Jenny."

Without even thinking, Jenny threw on some clothes, grabbed her purse and keys and went to the car. She took a moment to consider what she was doing and then backed out and headed to Jethro's house. Knowing what she did changed everything. The decision was practically made for her and she couldn't believe it but she didn't care. She needed to get to Jethro and make sure he was okay. If he had known Mike was calling she was sure he would have answered. Mike was his closest confidant; the only person she thought Jethro trusted implicitly.

When Jenny parked in Jethro's driveway he was sitting on the floor in Kelly's room putting stuffed animals and dolls carefully in a box. He wrapped each one in packing paper to keep them clean and gently laid them in the box. He had already filled one box and was working on the second when he heard a car door slam and a moment later his front door open. He held his breath hoping it was Jenny.

"Jethro?"

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Upstairs."

Jethro got up intending to close the door and meet her in the hall but by the time he moved the box and the animals and tape and paper, Jenny was in the hallway. She found him getting to his feet surrounded by the remnants of his little girl's life. Jethro just looked at her and he knew she knew. He didn't know how she knew but he could see it in her eyes. There were tears there before she had time to register what she was seeing behind him. Seeing that, he couldn't keep his own tears, which were always on the verge of spilling out anyway, from escaping and rolling down his face.

"Oh Jethro, I'm sorry."

She flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. Jethro immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her close, his tears falling in her hair. They held onto each other for a long time crying over what was lost and what was damaged and all the things they weren't sure about anymore.

Eventually Jethro eased her back and kissed her on the forehead. He pushed her hair back and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. She did the same for him.

"How.."

"Mike called looking for you. I told him what was going on and he told me about Kelly. God, Jethro I'm sorry. About Kelly and about what happened Friday. Now I understand."

"Yeah."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to assume Jenny had changed her mind. He hoped so but he wanted to hear her say it.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Of course. Wanna go downstairs?'

"Yes. Let me use the bathroom and I'll be right there."

"Okay. I'm glad you're here Jen."

"Me too."

Jenny went into the master bedroom and then into the adjoining bathroom. She used the toilet then washed her hands and rinsed her face in cold water. She took a moment to gather herself and think about what she was going to say to Jethro. Then she took a few deep breaths and prepared to change her life forever. Walking back through the bedroom she saw the ring box on the dresser. She stopped dead in her tracks. Tentatively she reached out and took it in hand and opened it. She gasped. It was so beautiful.

Oh Jethro, what have you done?

Now she understood what all his planning and preparation had been about on Friday.

He was going to propose and instead we broke up. At least I feel like we did. What would I have said? No. I would have said no. Well, chances are he won't be asking now so I don't need to worry about what I'll say.

Jenny put the box back where she'd found it and went downstairs.

She found Jethro sitting at the dining table with two bottles of water in front of him. She smiled knowing he would much prefer beer or coffee but knew she wouldn't want either.

Jethro had chosen the table because he thought he should have something solid between them to keep himself from touching her. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and never let her go but the voice in his head kept reminding him she wanted to kill his child. Or did she? She was here after all and now she knew about Kelly. Maybe she'd change her mind. He couldn't let himself think that until she said it to him.

Jenny sat down and reached for his hand. She took it in hers and held on tight. She needed Jethro's strength for what she about to say. She looked him in the eyes and willed him to forgive her for Friday night.

"Jethro, before we say anything else I want you to know I've decided to keep the baby."

Jethro dropped his head and tears of relief filled his eyes. He blinked them away and looked up to see Jenny watching him carefully. She pulled his hand to her face and kissed his knuckles.

"I'm so sorry about Kelly. If I had known I never would have considered an abortion. Your child is safe, Jethro. At least for as long as I'm carrying it."

"Our child."

Jethro looked at her, his beautiful blue eyes shining with tears and happiness.

"Our baby, Jen. Thank you."

At that moment Jenny was as torn about her future as she had ever been about anything in her life. She wanted Jethro to be happy. She wanted the baby to be safe and healthy. And, she wanted to take the job of her dreams in London and go off on her own to live her life. In her mind, it was all a colossal mess. In Jethro's mind everything had just gotten a whole lot better.

"Jethro, we have a lot to talk about. I'm scared. I'm not ready to be a mother. I'm sorry but I don't really even want to be a mother. But I won't take this child away from you."

"Jen, I can't say I understand but I accept what you want. I told you I will take the baby and raise it and when you're ready we'll be here."

"Jethro, what if I'm never ready? You can't wait for me forever."

"Why not?"

Jenny hesitated. She wasn't ready for a conversation about long term plans. She needed to talk about the here and now. About the next seven months.

"Let's talk about today and leave forever until later. Okay?"

"Yes, okay."

"Jethro, why didn't you tell me about Kelly?"

Now Jethro took her hands in his and closed his eyes. He took a moment to gather his thoughts because this was a difficult conversation to have. He wanted to get it right.

"Because I don't talk about Shannon and Kelly to anyone. Normally. I told you about Shannon because you asked if I'd been married and I couldn't lie to you. I didn't say anything about Kelly because I wanted to keep her to myself for as long as possible. Sometimes it feels like if I tell people about her there's less for me to hold onto. I don't really know how to explain it. I was going to tell you soon. It's still so hard….so damned hard to think about my baby girl being gone."

Jenny got up and stepped around the corner of the table and took him in her arms. Jethro hugged her, his head on her stomach. Jenny ran her fingers through his hair, talking softly to him telling him how sorry she was and that she understood.

"Come sit on the couch with me."

Jenny pulled him up and led him to the couch. They settled in their regular spots with Jenny close to his side, holding his hands. This was testing Jethro's resolve to put some distance between them. In fact, that idea went right out the window a moment later when Jenny leaned up and kissed him. It was a soft, warm kiss and Jethro returned it without taking it any further. As they broke apart he stroked her face and leaned his forehead on hers.

"We have a lot to talk about. I think maybe we better stick to talking for a while."

Jenny was a little disappointed but she knew he was right. They did have an awful lot to talk about.

"How far along are you?"

"About ten weeks. I went to the doctor the day after I saw the test results. Everything is fine."

"So, while we were at the beach then?"

"Yes, I imagine. I don't know what happened. I didn't miss my pill. I guess nothing is foolproof."

"I feel like I should say I'm sorry but I'm not."

"No, Jethro, obviously this was meant to be. To be honest I'm not particularly happy about it but I'll adjust. I'll do everything I can to deliver a healthy baby I promise you that."

"Oh Jen, I know you will. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to be a father again. You are giving me the greatest gift imaginable."

"How are we going to do this Jethro? This is so strange. You're excited and I should be but I'm not. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I feel like a terrible person."

"No, Jen. You're not a bad person at all. You've wanted this job in London for a long time and like you said, you don't really want a child now. I understand that much. As to how we're going to do this I guess we'll work it out as we go."

"Do you even still want to be with me Jethro?"

"I can't honestly answer that right now. Things are different."

"You scared me the other night. You more or less threatened me and it really scared me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's what you intended though right?"

"Yes. I wanted to scare you. I wanted you to wait until I could figure out how to convince you to keep the baby. I wouldn't hurt you Jenny. I wouldn't."

"That's what Mike said. What happened to the man who killed your family?"

"I don't really think I should tell you that. Let's leave it that he's dead."

"But…"

"No, Jenny. Leave it alone. You don't need to know anything more about it. And you never need to worry that I would hurt you because I won't."

"Alright, subject closed. So, do we go back to the way we were or do we start in a different direction or what? I have no clue how to proceed."

"I don't know either. I want to be there for you during the pregnancy. I want to go to the doctor with you and do whatever you need me to do. I won't crowd you. I don't know about the rest of it. What do you think?"

"Jethro, I was happy with the way things were for us before last week. I liked the life we had together."

"But?"

"But I saw the look on your face and in your eyes when I told you I wasn't keeping the baby. I heard the way you talked to me. And, I see the look in your eyes even now. You don't see me the same way you did a few days ago. You're not sure. You don't feel the same about me. Am I right?"

"You're right, I'm not sure. Part of me wants to wrap you up and hold on and never let you go. But, I admit, another part of me isn't sure anymore. I'm sorry Jen."

"You don't have to apologize. I understand. Maybe I'm not exactly the person you thought I was."

"I don't think that's it. I think I was just so shocked by the news I didn't know what to do. I guess I didn't know everything about you but I know enough to know you're a good person, Jen. You're smart and caring and tough. You're special to me and that hasn't changed."

"I want us to still see each other, Jethro. I care about you and I want us to be close. Can you do that?"

"I want to. Can you give me a few days to sort everything out in my head?"

"Yes, I can do that. Will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Tell me about Kelly."

That wasn't what he was expecting and Jethro didn't know where to start. He thought for a moment then stood up and pulled Jenny with him. He decided to show her instead of simply telling her about Kelly.

"C'mon, let's go upstairs."

Jenny followed. Jethro opened the door to Kelly's room and stepped aside holding his arm out to allow Jenny to enter ahead of him.

"This was Kelly's room. Pretty much exactly as she left it when Shannon packed them up and followed me to Camp Pendleton. A few of Kelly's favorite toys were left in California; the ones she took with her, but they weren't going to be there for long so most of her stuff is here. As you can see she loved horses and books and stuffed animals."

Jethro stopped as Jenny made her way around the room looking at the items that told the story of a life over much too soon.

"Looks like she was very well loved, Jethro."

"She was everything. She looked like her mom and had her mom's disposition. Really smart and tough too."

"Like her daddy."

"I guess."

Jenny picked up a plastic horse. "Did she ever ride?"

"Oh yeah, she was a natural with horses. She started riding when she was six. Never afraid, never nervous even on an animal twenty times her size. It was remarkable really."

"And she obviously loved books."

"Her mom started reading to her before she was born. Kelly could read when she was four. She loved to have me read her stories. I tried to be home for her bedtime whenever I could. If wasn't deployed anyway. I missed a lot."

"I bet you were a wonderful father, Jethro. I can't imagine how you managed to deal with such a terrible loss."

"Mike helped me. He saved me really. And Shannon. I knew she'd be really pissed at me if I didn't pull myself together. It took a very long time for me to accept how things were. I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine life without them. I didn't know who I was without them."

Jenny went to him and put her arms around him and he wrapped her in a tight embrace. For a long time they stood like that in the middle of Kelly's room and held on. The comfort Jethro got from Jenny was more than he could ever tell her. He trusted her and that put her on a very short list of people. He knew in his heart that he still loved her and he was pretty sure she loved him. If she would ever admit that he didn't know and he couldn't worry about that for the time being. All he knew in this moment was that he needed her to hold onto him and she was. He'd worry about the future another day.

After a while Jenny eased back and Jethro let her go. She looked at the furniture in the room and said, "You made all this didn't you?"

"Yeah. Well, my dad and I. We made the baby bed and a cradle for when she came home. I'll use those for our baby."

Jenny noticed he said 'our'. It comforted her and stung her at the same time but she knew he didn't say it to hurt her. It was a natural thing for him to say. He was comfortable with the idea of them having a baby. He wanted the baby. She wondered if, as time went along, she'd come to feel differently about the child she was carrying. She didn't think so but she was so out of her element she wasn't sure of anything.

"Jethro, is this the first time you've been in this room?"

"No, but it's the first time in over a year."

"Why today?"

"Well, when I came home Friday I went to the basement and drank until I passed out. I figured I can't do that every night and I wasn't having any luck working on the boat. Then I thought I needed a room for the baby and since this one is closest to my room I decided to start working on it for whoever is coming. I'll save this stuff of course and I won't pack it all up. Just need to get it out of here so I can get the room ready for a new baby."

"I see."

Jenny ran her fingers through her hair and held her face in her hands. She was tired. She had no idea how to go forward. She wanted Jethro with her; she missed him, but their situation was so awkward she didn't know how to navigate it.

Sensing her confusion and uncertainty, Jethro took her hand and led her back downstairs. He steered her to the couch and said, "Sit down and relax. I'll be right back."

Jethro went to the kitchen, found some tea Ducky had given him once trying to get him to lower his coffee intake and started some water. He fixed Jenny a cup of tea, added a splash of lemon and took it to her.

"Here, Ducky says tea makes everything better."

Jenny smiled at him and accepted the cup. She wasn't much of a tea drinker but she thought maybe if coffee was off her menu tea would be a good substitute.

"Thank you."

"Jen, I know this situation is strange and you must feel unsettled. How can I help you?"

"I'm not sure. To be honest I'm scared. I've never been pregnant of course and I don't know what to expect. I guess I'll get some books. I don't have anyone really to talk to about this. Except you of course, and I don't want to pressure you."

"Do you have a doctor you trust?"

"Yes, but I've only ever gone for my annual check-up. I don't really know her that well. I guess I'll be getting to know her."

"Yeah. Would you be comfortable talking to Ducky? I know he'd be happy to answer any questions he could. And Jen, you can talk to me anytime about anything. I know a little bit about pregnant women but I was gone a lot during Shannon's pregnancy."

"I think I'd be okay talking to Ducky if I needed to. This is all very new Jethro and I'm just not settled with it yet. It will be fine I'm sure. I need to tell my boss and make sure he understands I'll still be able to go to London. What about you, will you be able to stay home with the baby for a couple of months?"

"Yes, that won't be a problem. I'll work it out."

"Jethro, are you sure you'll be able to do this? I mean think about your schedule. What about when you get called out in the middle of the night? What are you going to do with a baby in that case? I'm not trying to change your mind I'm just being practical."

"I know. I'll have to have someone I can leave him or her with that's all. There's plenty of time to work that out after the baby comes. My dad will come down at the beginning I'm sure. And Mike will show up. I know that might sound scary but my dad's really good with babies and oddly enough so is Mike. I'm sure I can do it, Jen."

Jenny put her cup down and let her head fall back into the cushion. The tea had settled her stomach and she was as relaxed as she had been in days. The tension of the week, knowing and not telling anyone, the horrible scene on Friday night and the sleepless nights were catching up to her. She needed to go home and go to bed. She wanted to stay with Jethro but she knew this wasn't the right time for that. Not yet.

"I need to go home. I have a busy week ahead and I'm exhausted."

"You want me to drive you?"

"No, Jethro I'll be fine. I'm glad we talked."

"Me too. Jenny, I know you're making a big sacrifice for me and I don't take that lightly. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'll be there. I won't let you down. I promise."

"I know that Jethro. You've never let me down. I guess there is something I do need from you."

"Anything."

"I need you to forgive me. Forgive me for not wanting this baby."

"Jen, that's not something you need my forgiveness for. But if I makes you feel better, I do forgive you. You can't help how you feel about something. I understand your reluctance to change your life right now just when you've achieved what you've wanted for so long."

"Thank you Jethro. Now, I better go home or I won't be able to get off this couch."

Jethro pulled her up and gave her a quick, soft kiss. He walked her to her car and told her to call him when she got home.

Jenny laughed at him, "Is this how it's going to be? You hovering and monitoring my every move for the next seven months?"

"Probably."

"Okay, I'll call you. Bye Jethro."

"Bye Jen."

For the first time since Friday night Jethro relaxed. Things would work out. Maybe Jenny would change her mind about not wanting a child but even if she didn't he was going to be a father again. Jethro was happy about that but at the same time sad about what Jenny would be missing.

Jenny did call when she got home. Jethro went back to what he was now thinking of as "the baby's room" and packed a few more boxes. He took the bed apart and after carefully wrapping it in old sheets he put it in the attic. He had enough cleared out so that when he knew the sex of the baby he could decide on a paint color. He sat in the rocking chair and wondered which he wanted; a boy or a girl. He knew it wouldn't matter when the baby came because he'd be crazy about either one. He had some experience with little girls so maybe that would be best especially since it seemed he would be on his own. On the other hand a girl would be emotionally hard. A little boy would be great. Either way, his life was certainly going to be different in a few short months.

TBC