A/N: Drink responsibly and take a cab. Underage drinking is forbidden; if you drink alcohol you will be tossed into the trash can by Dr. Midorima.

Momoi takes Aomine out for drinks. Misunderstandings ensue.


"You're finally twenty!" Momoi gushed, as soon as Aomine opened the door. "Let's go-"

"Shh, lower your voice! Ryouta will murder me if he knew I was going to go drinking without him."

"Fine, fine. Are you sure you don't want to invite anyone else?" She asked. At this point, Kise had just rounded a corner and began to evesdrop (mind you, he didn't hear what Aomine said about drinking).

Aomine blushed. "This'll be my first time so..."

Momoi nodded. "Yeah, I understand. No one knows what will happen, and it can get embarrassing."

"I've heard it...hurts?"

"Oh, only afterwards a bit, if you aren't careful! Come on, I've been waiting for this day!"

And so they left, and Kise hurriedly called the first person he could think of. "Shintaroucchi? Shintaroucchi are you busy?"

"Not at the moment. Ryouta, stop speaking so fast. Calm down. Breathe." Midorima ordered, trying to balance his phone against his shoulder. Akashi observed this with interest; he was visiting on business and had stopped by for tea and Shoji (two years after highschool graduation and Midorima had not won once).

"Put him on speakerphone." Akashi suggested. "Ryouta-kun?"

"Sacchi and Daikicchi are gonna..." Momoi blushed, stuttering.

"Ryouta, breathe."

"They're in an...adult relationship." he said lamely.

"Well good for them. Satsuki-chan finally moved on from Tetsuya-kun." Akashi replied ever so calmly, while Midorima was choking on his tea. "Shall I bring a present to congratulate them? Sekihan?"

"For goodness sakes, Seijurou they aren't getting MARRIED." Midorima recovered, mildly amused though mostly annoyed. "In any case, what exactly made you think something so absurd?"

He told them what he had heard. "I'm not mistaken!"

"It sounds like they are serious...Shintarou, do you think they know the risks of-"

"No." Midorima knew where this was going. "Absolutely not, Akashi. I am a medical student, but this is not something I want to be involved in."

"But what if Daikicchi gets hurt? It sounded like he hasn't done THAT before. And Sacchi too!"

This sent Midorima into a new coughing fit. He needed less friends, Midorima decided. Or less nosy ones, anyways.


It turned out that Aomine was a lightweight. After three beers and one shot of whisky he was blubbering like a fool. "Satsuki there is a fish in your hair."

Momoi, who did not have fish in her hair (but could drink like one) replied, "I think you've had enough to drink...Dai-chan, I promised your mother that I would-"

And Aomine promptly burst into tears.

"Are you alright?!"

"I'll play basketball!" Aomine sobbed. "Don't burn Mai-chan!"

Momoi looked around, embarrassed. "Don't worry, I won't, Daiki-cchi."

"I love Mai-chan." Aomine sighed dreamily. "I'm gonna marry her one day, you know? I have a wedding Pinterest for our marriage."

"D-Dai-chan..." Momoi didn't have the heart to remind Aomine that his idol had gotten married the year prior. The poor guy had a wedding Pinterest!

And then Aomine was suddenly serious. "I've thought of dating you before, you know? But I'd rather date Kagami than her. He can cook."

"I see." Momoi felt a twinge of annoyance but mostly found it funny. "What about Muk-kun then?"

"Atsushi is too big. I'd be worried about our children."

Now Momoi was nothing but amused. "Oh really? How about Sei-kun?"

"I don't wanna be thought of as a gold digger, you know."

"Tetsu-kun?"

"No way, you liked him. That would be wierd."

"Shinkun?"

"No way! Don't listen to Imayoshi he knows nothing!" Aomine was now angry. Momoi noted that he had more mood swings than her.

"What did Imayoshi say?"

"He wanted to date Shintarou! How could you let him?!" Aomine yelled.

"U-um..." Momoi didn't know Imayoshi's preferences; he had probably been messing with Aomine, but who could tell?

Then Aomine sat down again, his eyes glazed over dreamily. "The world is great, you know? I love everything about it."

"O-okay...?" Momoi made a mental note to use this as blackmail when Aomine was being difficult.


The next morning, Aomine woke up with a terrible headache. He didn't remember anything that had happened the previous night, but found a glass of water and Advil by his nightstand. Thank goodness for Momoi.

"Awake, Daiki?" Midorima and Akashi stood at the doorway.

"What are you doing here?"

Midorima scowled. "Seijurou blackmailed me. I like this far less than you do."

"What are you talking about? How the hell did you guys get in here anyways?"

"Daiki-kun, we know about you and Satsuki-chan. We want to make sure you guys were...safe." Akashi said.

"Of course we were!" Aomine snapped, and felt his head bursting. He waited for the Advil to kick in.

"Then...you know the proper precautive measures?"

"Yeah." Aomine remembered her telling him to drink water and take Advil or something.

"See? May I leave now?" Midorima asked, glaring at the shorter man. Aomine wondered what sort of dirt Akashi had on Midorima.

"No, give him that book we made you buy. Also bring in the Sekihan."

"Sekihan? This is hardly an occasion to celebrate." Not when his head was trying to explode.

"Why of course it is. Now that you and Satsuki-chan are in a serious relationship-"

"What?!" Aomine jumped out of bed, forgetting about his hangover. "No! We just went DRINKING. That's it! She likes Tetsuya! Who gave you that idiotic idea?!"

Akashi blinked. "Oh? Then Ryouta-kun was wrong. Shintarou-"

"No, I'm leaving. I refuse to give Daiki a lesson on the dangers of alcoholism." Midorima scowled even more. He decided that he'd go make new friends, ASAP. Or shun human companionship. Cats were looking a whole lot less troublesome.


"Ryouta..."

"Ah, D-Daikicchi! You're back!"

"I'M. NOT. DATING. MOMOI." Daiki said through gritted teeth. "We went DRINKING."

Kise's face turned from surprised, to embarrassed, to angry. "How dare you!"

"Huh?"

"I was worried about you, and you went drinking for the first time WITHOUT ME? I thought you were gonna get hurt since you're still a-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"


Omake #1

"Shintarou, do you think Aomine and Kise are in a relationship? Oh, are you alright? You've been coughing a lot recently."

"What-makes-you-think-"

"Well, it's stereotypical, doesn't it? Narusaku, GinHiji, Vegoku...even Murasakibara and Himuro make a good couple, don't they?"

"...who introduced you to doujinshi?"

"Kazunari-kun."

"I...see."

"Oh don't worry, I won't steal him from you-Shintarou, you're coughing again!"

"...I refuse to talk about this subject anymore."

"Tsundere."

"SEIJUROU."


A/N: I had wanted to write Aomine going drinking with Kise first, but the AoMomo brotp is strong. Their 100% platonic relationship deserves a tribute (who else would deal with Ahomine's drunk self?). In the chapters where the characters are older, I write with them referring to each other casually. I think that they'll relax a bit once they become better friends.

Akashi/Takao brotp game is strong too, tbh. Of course Takao reads fanfic. Who else? (Probably has a tumblr too—he's the one who corrupted Akashi, of course).