Blair stood in front of Serena's apartment door, her heart pounding in her chest. Trying to breathe, she exhaled slowly, as the door swung open.
Serena gulped as she took in Blair's appearance. While Blair was perfectly coiffed as always, every hair in place, every wrinkle smoothed, her eyes gave her away. Large and wild they pleaded with her.
"Is it true Serena?" Blair questioned brokenly. "This Blair Waldorf, am I her?"
Serena looked at her friend with scared eyes as she debated whether or not to tell the truth. "I don't want to hurt you," she said with a calm she did not feel.
"You are already hurting me by not telling me the truth. Who am I?" Blair asked her tone almost hysterical.
"Your name is Blair Waldorf and you are my best friend in the whole world. I have known you for as long as I can remember," Serena replied softly.
"No," Blair said stubbornly, shaking her head, "It can't be. My name is Audrey Hawthorne and I just met you a few days ago."
"I'm so sorry. I wish there was some other way to do this. Some way that wouldn't cause you pain."
"Too late for that," Blair said angrily.
Biting the inside of her cheek, Serena stifled her smile. Audrey's strength and fire reminded Serena so much of her old friend. Blair was shining through Audrey like rays of sun through a crack in the wall.
"Audrey, deep down you have to know that what I am saying to you is true. The memories, they are starting to come back to you. The limo, the house, those are all scenes from your life as Blair Waldorf."
"It just doesn't make sense. How did this happen? How can I be Blair if I am Audrey?" Blair cried, twisting and untwisting her hand together in agitation.
Serena grabbed Blair's hands in hers, forcing them to lay still. "You can't."
Taking a deep breath, Blair tried to consider the matter logically. "Okay. Let's assume that I am Blair, how could this happen?
Leading Blair to the couch, Serena sat down beside her. "I am not exactly sure. I am guessing it all started with Jack."
"Jack? My fiancé, Jack? What on earth does he have to do with this." Blair asked with confusion.
"He isn't who you think he is," Serena paused, as she searched for the right words to explain Jack and his deeds. "Jack has always wanted Bass Industries ever since Chuck was a small boy. When Bart died, and Chuck kicked him out of the company Jack wanted revenge.
"I don't understand? What does this have to do with me?" Blair asked faintly, terribly afraid of what the answer would be. She was suddenly aware of how central Jack had become to her very fragile and tenuous hold on reality. For the last few years he had been all she had, her only family. For a moment she almost hesitated, considered walking away from Serena, letting the truth stay buried, but she couldn't do that. Not after everything she had just been through.
"Everything," Serena said firmly. "Before the accident you were Blair Waldorf and very much in love with Chuck Bass. You two were engaged, and happy. The happiest I'd ever seen the two of you."
"What?" Blair replied sharply. "That isn't possible. Chuck is arrogant, egotistical and manipulative.
Serena chuckled, "Those are the very qualities that you love about him."
Blair bristled like a porcupine. "I do not love Chuck Bass," she said defiantly, giving Serena a cross look.
Grinning smugly, Serena ignored her. "Anyway, the point is Jack would do anything to destroy Chuck. So he struck at the one thing that would hurt Chuck the most…you. I don't know how he did it but you were on your way to see your dad in the Bass jet and it crashed. We all thought you were dead. Chuck was devastated. In his grief he could no longer run Bass industries so he turned the company over to Jack."
"I dreamed that," Blair said in a hushed voice. "After the accident I used to dream all the time about getting on a plane that never went anywhere. I always thought it was odd that I dreamed of a airplane when I had been in a car accident."
"Jack told Chuck you never made it on the plane," Serena hesitated, trying to decide whether to continue as she watched Blair's face pale even further.
"It's true then? Jack admitted it?" Blair searched Serena's face looking for confirmation. Finding what she sought, she blinked slowly and looked down at her hands. Her world was crumbling apart, one horrifying detail after another. Her fingers twisted and spun her engagement ring on her finger. The beautiful diamond that had been the only source of her happiness over the past few years suddenly felt huge and cumbersome on her hand. Her ring finger ached and burned under its heavy weight.
Serena blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears she could already feel collecting in the corners of her eyes. "I am so sorry, Audrey."
"It's not really Audrey, then is it?" Blair said bitterly, rising to her feet and walking over to the windows.
Serena followed, catching up to her. "Audrey, Blair, it doesn't matter anymore to me. I know you. You are my best friend, what ever your name, I know you."
"I don't know who I am anymore," Blair whispered, gazing outside at the passing traffic. "I don't know who Jack is either. That he could do something so horrible to someone he supposedly loves terrifies me."
Serena reached out to touch her arm soothingly. "What are you going to do?"
"I can tell you the engagement is off," Blair stated coldly, her voice sharp and bitter cut into Serena like glass.
"Audrey, please stay away from him. I don't know what he will do now that he knows you're remembering. I'm scared for you."
Blair ran her fingers along the smooth wood of the windowsill. "I wouldn't worry about me. What is the worst that can happen? He already stole my life and my memories. What more can he take?" she asked wistfully, completely oblivious to the noisy streets of traffic beneath her.
"He doesn't have what he wants yet. This whole thing has always been about revenge and Bass Industries. He has neither now that you are remembering. You and Chuck aren't safe," Serena warned.
Blair shook her head. "He won't hurt me. At least not anymore then he already has," she stated wryly. "What may have started as revenge for Jack turned into something more. You may not believe me, but I know Jack feels something for me."
"I don't believe that monster is capable of feeling anything towards anyone," Serena spat out.
"You don't spend almost three years being someone's fiancé without learning a bit about them. Jack may not have ever planned on this being about anything more then revenge, but his plan backfired."
"She's right," Chuck said from behind them, both girls turning at the sound of his voice. "Blair?" he called out anxiously, reaching her side he moved as if to embrace her only to have her step away from him closer to Serena's side. "Are you alright?"
Blair's eyes narrowed dangerously at Chuck. "Stay away from me, Bass. I don't trust you either."
Chuck's arms fell to his sides dejectedly. "Did you tell her the truth, Serena?"
"I did," Serena said with a sad smile.
"I won't be manipulated or used by you either," Blair said, once more twisting her engagement ring tightly around her finger.
Chuck's eyes were drawn to the large diamond on her hand and it took all of his self-control not to rip it off her hand. "I wouldn't worry. It's not like I would kidnap you and erase your memories," Chuck said darkly.
"No you would just trick me into lunch and then force me to face my past without any regard for my mental state," Blair said bitterly.
"You were starting to remember." Chuck ran his fingers through his hair wildly. "What would you have me do? Leave you to live a lie with the man that destroyed you?"
Blair's mouth opened and closed as she considered what to say. "You could have trusted that I would have figured things out on my own."
"Because that was working out so well for you wasn't it," Chuck replied sarcastically. "What was I supposed to do? Leave you there for Jack to torment further like a rat in a cage? " Chuck's voice trembled at the thought of Blair spending one more moment in the hands of his uncle.
"No." Blair looked up at Chuck, the fire that had previously sparked in her eyes now extinguished.
Chucks heart broke at the sad, shattered look on her face. He would rather have her spitting mad at him then have her look at him like she was right now. "I couldn't let you stay with him one moment longer. Especially once I realized how he felt. Last night at the restaurant, when he looked at you, there was a spark of something in his eyes, something that made me realize just how dangerous your situation was. Jack is no longer in this for revenge, he wants the company and he wants you."
"What are we going to do?" Serena asked her voice small and scared. "He isn't going to back down this easily."
"We will give him what he wants," Chuck replied, his worried gaze never leaving Blair's face. "I will sign over Bass Industries to him in return for him leaving Blair alone."
Blair flinched as Chuck spoke her true name, the fire returning once more to her eyes as she clenched her fists tightly. "No, I won't have you do that."
"You don't have a choice. I am not about to bargain or play games with him anymore." Chuck's face darkened dangerously as he considered all the things he was going to do to his Uncle once he had Blair safe.
"What about what I want?" Blair asked, putting her hands on her hips. "This whole thing started because Jack wanted Bass Industries and now you are going to hand it over to him on a silver platter?"
"Yes, if it keeps you safe. I won't have you hurt anymore."
"Too late," Blair lashed out. "I don't know who I am anymore. I just found out my life has been used like a pawn in some sick game of chess, all for control of a company you just want to hand over. Don't I have a say in any of this?"
Chuck sighed heavily, "Why can't you see I am doing this for you. I would do anything, give anything to protect you, keep you safe. I can't loose you again. What would you have me do?"
Blair raised her hand to rub at her forehead. Her head was pounding, the day's activities were finally starting to catch up to her. "The damage is already done. Don't make it worse by handing over the one thing he wants more then anything."
Chuck's eyes locked on hers, the gesture not going unnoticed. He needed to get her to rest. He knew Blair was strong, stronger then anyone he had ever known, but what she had been through today was enough to give a person a nervous breakdown.
"Chuck, I think this is enough for today," Serena said softy as Blair seemed to wilt before their eyes.
"Fine, I won't do anything…" Chuck paused, his eyes resting heavily on Blair's pale face. "...Yet. As long as you promise to have my doctor check you out and you get some rest."
Blair eyes widened, brightening with fear. "No more doctors. You can't imagine what it is like, to be studied and experimented on. Every day there are new pills and new delusions. Doctors that tell me that my memories are the ravings of a sick person and if I just take my medicine it will all be better in the morning. But it never is better. I wake up and it starts all over again." Her thin shoulders shuddered as her voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper.
"We need to know that there hasn't been any permanent damage. I promise they won't hurt you," Chuck said, his heart aching at her terror.
"You really should get checked out," Serena said reaching out to lay her hand on Blair's shoulder. "I promise to be with you the whole time.
Chuck watched enviously as Serena comforted Blair. He would give anything to be the one to touch her, make her feel safe. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and make the world disappear.
"You will be here when I'm done?" Blair asked Chuck in a childlike voice. Her hands clutched at her skirt, bunching the fabric in her tiny hands.
"I promise," Chuck vowed. His heart sang at this small bit of trust between them. That she still wanted to see him again reassured him that everything he had done so far was justified.
"What do I do after that? Where do I go?" Blair spoke blankly. "Jack has everything I own. I have nothing without him."
"You are not going back to him," Serena said firmly. Her eyes beseeched Chuck to come up with a solution.
"You will stay with me," Chuck stated as if there was no doubt at all where she belonged.
Blair swallowed hard, "I can't do that." Staring at Chuck, all she could think about was him kissing her, touching her all over and God help her part of her wanted him too. It would be so easy to loose herself in his kisses, especially now since she knew they were just as good as the memories and dreams.
"Why?" Chuck asked, smiling smugly. He would have to be blind not to see the effect he had on her. He just needed to find a way to use it to his advantage. "You belong with me, we were practically married before Jack interfered."
Blair's legs wobbled underneath her as she made her way to the couch. "Maybe Blair was in love with you, but I'm not her and I don't know if I will ever be her."
Serena rushed to sit next to her friend. "You don't need to be her sweetie. Just be yourself," she said with a pointed look at Chuck. "You don't have to stay with Chuck, you can stay with me."
Shaking her head, Blair absently stroked the edge of the couch, the rough tapestry fabric giving her something to focus on other then Chuck. "I need some time and space away from all this if I am ever going to recover. I can't have constant reminders shoved in my face all the time."
"You can stay at the Palace. I still own the place and I can make sure that Jack doesn't bother you there," Chuck replied. Catching Serena's eye over Blair's head he sent her a pleading look. With him already living at the Palace he could be close to her, keep an eye on her and make sure she was safe.
Serena pressed her lips together considering the matter. She had no doubt that Chuck would take every advantage living so close to Blair would entail, but at least Blair would be away from Jack. Staying at the hotel had other advantages, Blair could have her space to herself and yet at the same time Chuck would be close if she needed anything. Besides the security the hotel had was the best to be found, Chuck had made sure of that when he was doing his best to shut them all out of his life.
"I don't know…" Blair hesitated, staring at the floor as she tried to figure out why the name of the hotel, The Palace, seemed to fill her with warmth and anticipation. "Have I been there before?"
"I live there and you often stayed there with me," Chuck said. At Blair's small frown he rushed to reassure her. "You can have your own suite, as far away from me as you like. The Palace even offers breakfast in bed, a service I am more then willing to deliver to you, personally," he said, with a wink.
Serena spoke up, rolling her eyes at Chuck's lame innuendo. "It really is the best solution. You can have your own space, yet we will still be close. I am just a few minutes from The Palace if you need anything and Nate is even closer."
Furrowing her brow, Serena turned to face Chuck. "Speaking of Nate, why isn't he here?"
"Who's Nate?" Blair asked with puzzlement, the name sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it.
Chuck shifted uncomfortably, from one foot to the other. "With all the excitement I forgot to call him," he offered lamely.
"Sure you did," Serena said, giving Chuck her sternest look. The one she had specially reserved for him over the years. "He needs to be a part of this. Blair, I mean Audrey," Serena corrected herself with a look at Blair, "might remember him."
"And why would she remember him more then anyone else," Chuck asked with a slight edge to his voice.
Serena cleared her throat uncomfortably, with an apologetic look at Blair. "Her memories so far have been of the more intimate nature."
"From what Blair shared with me I can't think of anything memorable about Nate and his performance that would have her remembering him at all," Chuck drawled.
Blair tapped her foot on the floor with annoyance. "Thank you for sharing that, Serena. Now would someone would please tell me who Nate is?" She asked her voice dripping with acidic sweetness.
"He was your first boyfriend—" Serena replied
"But not your first," Chuck interrupted with a leer in Blair's direction.
Blair narrowed her eyes at him. "You are disgusting. I suppose you somehow managed to finagle your way into being my first?" She asked disinterestedly even though her face was flushed and hot.
Chuck eyed her up and down, his eyes scorching and intense. "It was an honor, " he rasped, his voice low and rumbling sent shivers of heat down Blair's spine.
"Growing up it was always the four of us," Serena continued, choosing to pretend the last minute of conversation had never taken place. "We even had a name for ourselves, 'The non-judging Breakfast Club.' No matter what we have always been there for each other," Serena said casting Chuck a significant look.
Blair scrunched up her nose. "Like the movie?"
Serena nodded, "Exactly. Nate will be so happy when I tell him you are finally starting to remember… and you have left Jack."
Blair laid her head tiredly against the back of the couch. "So another person who knows me that I can't remember."
Chuck and Serena exchanged glances, both in agreement with what the other was thinking.
"I think it's time to call it a day," Serena said rising from the couch to grab her coat. "After everything that has happened you need to rest."
"The limo is waiting downstairs. Let me take you to The Palace," Chuck offered. "I can have a suite ready for you in minutes."
Blair wanted to argue, but her head was swimming. If she didn't lie down soon she was afraid she would collapse and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her weak.
Standing up she swayed a bit on her feet and in that instant Chuck's arms were around her waist holding her close.
"Are you alright?" He asked not even bothering to mask his worry and concern.
"Now you're concerned?" Blair asked sarcastically, even as she leaned into his arms. For just a moment she allowed herself to drink in the warmth, the strength of his body before pushing him away.
"Have you eaten anything today, Audrey?" Serena asked carefully, looking directly at Blair.
Blair fidgeted, straightening the pleats in her dress. "I am just tired."
"She didn't eat lunch," Chuck said grimly. Pulling out his shone he texted rapidly. "I will have your favorites prepared and sent to your suite."
"My favorites or Blair's favorites?" Blair asked, her voice void of all emotion.
Sighing, Chuck finished punching in commands and put his phone back in his pocket.
"Blair's favorites. I am sure you will find something you like and if you don't the chef is at your disposal." Sauntering closer to Blair, Chuck leaned in to murmur in her ear. "Don't worry, I have every intention of getting to know Audrey's favorites as well."
Blair nervously smoothed her hair back from her forehead, taking a step away from Chuck. As tired as she was she couldn't help the secret little thrill she got deep in her heart from knowing that Chuck wanted to spend time with her.
Opening the door, Serena waited for Blair to exit. As Chuck followed Serena grinned at him, her eyes dancing with happiness. Chuck nodded slowly in agreement. Blair was out of Jack's clutches and was coming home to where she belonged. While she might not be with him in suite 1812 at least she would be under the same roof, right across the hall from him. Smiling he allowed himself the satisfaction of knowing that it wouldn't be long now. He would make sure that wherever Blair went, whatever she did, he would be there until she would have no choice but to fall in love with him all over again.
I apologize for the delay in posting. I had a bit of writer's block and I got caught up in my new story. The next chapter for this is already written so I promise I won't make you wait long. :D
Much love to all my reviewers: Whitney1812, , BassBillionaire, Catheryne, victrolagg21, SErinS, Passions, RubyQueen, Jensens Fan, Syrianora, uncorazonquebrado, Poinsettia, READER120, abelard, RustyJimmy, Chairforever, 24hrscout, RR, Krazy4Spike, Lena Belle, wrighthangal. Tiffany Rae, TriGemini, hiddenletter, fra, JYLlian, blair4eva, :D, chairfan101, KillerNewton, Lil Miss Chuckles, , odyjha, annablake, GossipGirlFanForever, flipped, Samantha, Krism and Eternal Destiny 304.
Thanks to Chole, GossipGirlFanForever and Shanynde for looking this over and offering their wonderful insights and corrections. All mistakes are my own.
