A Penny for Your Thoughts

Written by Whimsical Symphony

So it's been a long, long time. I apologize but university has been extremely stressful. I still have a whole host of undiagnosed physical problems which are in the midst of being diagnosed. I'm not a healthy soul, and have been dealing with a whole host of specialist appointments. I've just been sick for months, actually, while dealing with crappily timed exams. My university actually sucks. I want to punch it in the face for putting three exams on a day and then three essays due the next and following this pattern for a week. I feel like murdering something, but now I can cool off because I'm on break. Don't worry, you don't need to be scared.

But I couldn't leave Suzume alone for this long, so I'm back with this chapter. I'm still so happy at all the support this story has received thus far, so I hope people are still reading this. I sincerely apologize for taking so long to update! Time passes by in a flash, doesn't it?

This chapter is sappier than I would've liked but I couldn't resist. The chapter title is based off of Rugrats: All Grown Up just because of the numerous pee jokes and diaper jokes in this chapter and the whole deal about becoming an adult, which is a theme here. I couldn't resist, sorry. I should've stayed away from the pee jokes.

I hope you enjoy!

EDIT: Accidentally made Kise refer to Suzume as Suzume-senpai - ick! And I also forgot the style I wrote this fanfiction in apparently because I took the cutesy suffixes to the narration which is now fixed.


Chapter IX - All Grown Up

Kise awoke in the morning to the smell of pancakes and the sweetness of maple syrup. He slowly got up, groggily, because he really did hate getting up in the morning, and turned his head to look at Suzume cooking in the kitchen. The sight did warm him a little, seeing her cooking breakfast. Even if he mooched off of her and slept on her couch, even if he was younger than her, Suzume made him feel like he had a home. She actually cared, unlike his parents. He really wondered why they even bothered to raise a kid if they didn't care.

"Oh, Ryouta-chan, you're awake. I made pancakes so get up or I'll eat them all," Suzume greeted. She plated a few of the pancakes and gestured for Kise to join her at the table, which he did all too eagerly. "Slept well? No nightmares and no wetting the bed, right?" She frowned then before concluding, "If you wet yourself you have to clean that up."

"I didn't wet myself," Kise joked, as if it were a common occurrence. "I had a good sleep." Much better than he did in any recent time. With Suzume, he didn't grow anxious about something stupid he shouldn't have worried about. With Suzume he let all his defenses down and he could relax, be Kise Ryouta instead of that person who shared his face but wasn't anything like him. He took of the pancakes and did think they were delicious with the syrup. "These are good. Thanks for treating me!"

"No problem, kid. Eat up or else you'll get malnutrition or some crap. Got to keep strong right?" Suzume smiled at him, and Kise couldn't help but note how she really did treat him like a child, now that he noticed exactly how he felt about her. "So, what've you got planned for today?"

"Got to practice with the team. We've got some matches coming soon, and even with Kurokocchi's team. So I've got to do extra practice," Kise explained, somewhat excited. He owed her for the fact that she remained interested though she didn't know a wink about basketball. "Hey, you said you hit your teacher in the nuts with a basketball, right? Are you really that bad?" Because it didn't really occur to him that people could be that bad.

"Yeah. I understand how basketball works, just never got a handle on it in real life. I've never been really athletic, though some people thought I looked like the type." Suzume smiled wryly. "I mean, I make basketball turn violent on accident. Probably would get a yellow card, even if I didn't mean it."

Kise looked at her when she said that, indeed noting that she did seem, not scrawny, more muscular. She took care of herself, but was tragically unathletic. It was pretty deceptive, in all honesty. Most people probably thought she looked like a delinquent too, the sort not to cross because she'd mug you in a shady back alley, like he thought when first meeting her. But meeting Suzume turned out to be one of the best things that happened to him.

"Suzumecchi, basketball doesn't have yellow cards. I think you're talking about football… and other sports…" Kise said, trying not to laugh.

"I'm inept when it comes to theory too, apparently." Suzume took it all in stride. "All I know is that the ball is supposed to go in the net."

"Well, that's the goal so you're halfway there," Kise encouraged. Suddenly, he thought of the chance in front of him to spend more time with her, even if she only saw him as a kid. When he spent time with her, his heart soared and for once he could kind of understand the feelings of those girls who confessed to him all the time. He felt hopeless and content at the same time too – considering that Suzume wouldn't ever see him as romantic material. Just a kid minus the baby-fat, maybe a good-looking kid, but a kid nonetheless. "Hey, Suzumecchi, want to go to practice with me after school today? If you don't have class. I mean, I can teach you how to play without killing someone!"

He tried not to be nervous, extending the offer and all. And he didn't know how the rest of his team would react either. And how anyone would really, considering the fact that Suzume was older than him, and he was really obvious with his feelings actually. The only reason Suzume didn't know was because she just thought he liked her like an older sister. He already had one, why would he need another?

"Or how to play without making someone impotent, like my gym teacher," Suzume joked, which drew a laugh out of Kise. "Well, I have class at eleven and should be done around three, so I can head over to Kaijou if you want. I'll text you when I get there, kid, so long as I won't be a bother at your practice."

"Suzumecchi, you're never a bother," Kise reassured. She'd probably never know how much he appreciated her, actually.

Really, she didn't know just how true that was, just how much she really wasn't a bother and that he'd prefer to spend most of his time with her. So he could be Kise, just like he didn't have the courage to be around others, and couldn't around his parents.

To her, he wasn't a model – he was a vain, arrogant kid, but one she enjoyed spending time with, he hoped. He didn't mind being arrogant to her, so long as she enjoyed his company. Like Kasamatsu and Kuroko, she brought his ego down a couple notches, made him think down-to-earth, grounded him. And caused that fluttery, nervous feeling in his stomach, and warmth like he drank a cup of hot cocoa. That warmth, he couldn't let go of.

Suzume was glad he extended that offer to her, and found she had something to look forward to for the day. Kise was a sincere kid, and honestly wanted her to come to watch him. So she would. This kid was a friend of hers, someone she cared for, and maybe she'd learn to finally shoot and pass a basketball without landing someone in the hospital.

"Glad to hear it. You aren't either, you know that right? Practically have a space here in this place for you whenever," Suzume commented, thinking about how many times he visited her, how much he'd become a permanent fixture in her life.

Kise's heart swelled. He wondered if Suzume even knew how much her words affected him. A little bit more and he knew for certain he'd have permanent heart-burn or something. It burned, but it was pleasant. It was strange.

"Yeah. We're good friends, and that's what friends do." Kise kept silent on the fact that to him, she was more than a friend.

It got harder to deny just how much he cared, especially when she smiled at him and he thought of how cute she was.

He continued eating his pancakes. Or well, shoveled it down his throat, more like.


Kise had been out of it all day and apparently the whole school noticed. He knew all the girls were wondering what happened to charismatic Kise Ryouta, but they didn't know that just the thought of being charming stressed him out. Suzume was going to watch him play basketball today. While he wanted that to happen, it didn't make it any less embarrassing to him. His modelling was one thing, lots of people saw it, and he wore a mask each and every time. And basketball, he never played for anyone before – just to win.

But today, he was going to play, but also going to teach her, he was going to play for her sake, not even for himself. He wanted to show off for her. Today was all about her. Just thinking that made his heart pound and a stupid blush to form on his cheeks. He seriously felt like a girl.

Even when he did warm ups, and decided to shoot, getting a nice three pointer even Midorima couldn't criticize, he knew he was lacking in energy.

"Kise, what's wrong? You're sluggish." Kasamatsu raised an eyebrow, looking at Kise who seemed about as stressed as he would be before taking a math test. "Playing like that won't get Seirin."

"I know." Kise did know, even if it was a good shot, that he'd have to fight tooth and nail against Kagami to score. "I'm just stressed, sorry Kasamatsu-senpai!" He grinned, overly saturated with sugar like he always did.

Kasamatsu backed away a little, almost for fear that he'd get a cavity. "About what?"

Kise wondered whether to lie but then knew immediately it'd be found out once Suzume decided to text him. He couldn't keep his eyes off the phone and checked it every five seconds, in order to see the text that didn't come yet.

"I invited Suzumecchi to come watch today's practice…" he trailed off, trying to gauge Kasamatsu's reaction.

"Your sister's friend?" he asked, eyes widened. Kise nodded. Kasamatsu narrowed his eyes and then said, "Why?" When Kise didn't answer, Kasamatsu couldn't help a small smirk from surfacing. "You like her."

"Yeah, but I know nothing'll happen. I just like spending time with her. She's really nice," Kise said, not at all denying Kasamatsu's accusation. "Oh wait, you have problems talking to girls."

"Shut up." Kasamatsu glared at him. "Go do some laps."

Kise smiled widely and said, "Okay Kasamatsu-senpai!" He got himself ready to run until his phone beeped in his pocket and he took it out so fast that Kasamatsu barely even saw him do it. "After I pick up Suzumecchi!" He instead ran out the door.

His heart pounded and he didn't even think about how stupid he looked, getting all excited because he really couldn't help it and just seeing Suzume made him so weirdly happy. All his stress was gone, only the pleasant nerves remained that probably made people look at him funny. The feeling was addicting, coursed through his veins and arteries and every single capillary.

The closer he got to the school gate, the more his fingers tingled and the warmer his face felt. Looking at people, he never really understood why they got so addicted to crushes and romance, and he thought that dating people when he had absolutely no attraction to them was actually normal. But Suzume proved to him that liking someone could make you feel alive.

If every couple he saw felt like this, then no wonder they stayed together. Kise wasn't even with her, but still managed to feel this way.

Suzume made him feel alive when he wasn't even with her romantically. She made him feel fine just like this, with the two of them, friends or whatever they were, so long as they talked and laughed together. Kise knew he was whipped.

Kise's fans screamed, wondering where he was off to. Kasamatsu sighed. He grew used to it, mostly, the fact that their number seven was so popular that he'd put actual idols to shame, and that all the fans never, ever missed a practice. Even if he wished they would because he was going deaf.


"So, this is Suzumecchi and she's come here to watch me play today right? But she's also hoping to learn how to play a bit of basketball because she hit her gym teacher in the balls when she was learning back in high school," Kise explained to both Moriyama and Kasamatsu who appeared curious enough to take a look. He never realized how it would feel introducing Suzumecchi to his teammates actually, and then the more he talked, the more he felt he couldn't stop it, unintentionally letting something embarrassing slip. Hopefully she wouldn't hate him for letting them know about her horrible basketball skills. "Suzumecchi, these two are Moriyama-senpai and Kasamatsu-senpai."

"Kid, isn't there a confidentiality thing attached to friendship? Now my plan's ruined." Suzume frowned at Kise, looking put-out.

"Plan?" Moriyama asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kise wished he'd been surprised,but he wasn't. Moriyama probably didn't pay attention to Suzume because she looked androgynous, a boy, a girl, it could have been either – but in reality she was a manly girl. Moriyama usually tried to attract the attention of all the girls, even trying to ask Kise to hook him up with a few, trying to set up a goukon for one and then even honestly admitting that he didn't want Kise to come because he'd steal all of them unintentionally. Moriyama's motivation was entirely driven by girls.

Well, whatever, Kise might've been a more shallow person before too. At least no one else noticed the charm of Suzume, not like he did. Maybe… maybe he was too possessive. It kind of embarrassed him actually, considering she was way older than him, double his age as Kuroko seemed to think though he kept insisting it was four. He was too anxious, thinking about this all the time instead of focusing on how she was right next to him.

"To catch you all off guard with my horrendous basketball skills," Suzume said.

So basically, to hit someone in the balls with a ball accidentally.

Moriyama gave him a look as if to say, out of all the girls you could have picked, you pick this one, but that's okay because I have more to myself. He actually looked kind of scared that he'd become impotent or something. Suzume did strike a lot of fear in other people and her general appearance really didn't do her any favours.

"And this is Kasamatsu-senpai, our captain." Kise didn't take into account that Kasamatu was deathly afraid of girls, almost to the point of hilarity. He could see the sweat bead on his forehead and all his limbs trembled, and Kise could only feel grateful that he didn't act like that around her. It would suck to not talk to the girl he liked, but also that would make his feelings obvious. "He's afraid of girls."

"Though I don't see how, since girls are wonderful," Moriyama explained, not understanding Kasamatsu's state at all.

"So we have two ladies men and one who has a girl-phobia. Where's the midway point?" Suzume said jokingly. She stuck out a hand, or rather, roughly grabbed Kasamatsu's trembling hand, and shook it. She heard a squeak out of him. "I'm Miyakigawa Suzume, nice to meet you, Ryouta-chan's friend."

It kind of sucked she still saw him that way. It hadn't been too long ago that he really was a ladies man, but he liked it more for the fame than actually being with them. Kise never actively encouraged girls, but he supposed that he could still be seen as a ladies man. He only really went out with them because he was too concerned for appearances, attempting to be what people wanted him to be. Suzume helped him realize all that.

But he wished that he'd be seen as a different sort of guy in her eyes, because really girls weren't all that interesting other than Suzume to him, and she was completely out of his league because of her age. Kise used to find it kind of funny when guys talked about a girl they liked and how it was unrequited, but now he realized that it kind of hurt.

Kise wasn't even embarrassed she called him that and sounded like a mom meeting the friends of her only son. Maybe one day he'd just get to her calling him Ryouta. One day.

"N-N-N-Nice t-t-to m-m-meet…" Kasamatsu quickly detached his hand from hers and sweated even more profusely. He turned to Kise, purposefully ignoring her presence so he wouldn't faint and barked, "Kise, Moriyama, we'll continue to do our drills. This isn't the time to be slacking off." He all but ran off, as far away from possible as he could.

"Shit, I didn't really believe you when you said he was scared." Suzume whistled. "He acted like I was Sauron or something. That fear was completely real."

"To Kasamatsu-senpai you're equal to Sauron," Kise agreed. "I've never seen him more scared of anything than girls."

"He's a bit of a wuss like that but he's a great captain," Moriyama said with a polite smile. He looked at her questioningly for a moment before saying, "I recognize your last name from somewhere… in the news?"

"Hell no, I'm just a regular nobody," Suzume said easily, getting a small laugh out of Moriyama who didn't question any further.

"Alright, whatever you say. Enjoy your stay. And, don't fall for me," he said seriously.

"I won't." Suzume found this guy pretty amusing. He even bothered to hit on the most un-womanly woman in the room. "Go on, kid. Go practice."

"I'll join you in a bit too. Since I know Kasamatsu won't even come here since he's scared of Suzumecchi. Might as well avoid his Spartan training for a bit," Kise added.

He was a bit relieved that Moriyama was a kid to her too, though he didn't doubt she would fall for him. Most people fell for him, and since he was already deemed kid-material by Suzume… that sounded pretty vain, actually.

Moriyama nodded, sent a polite, far-too-sparkly smile at Suzume typical of his skirt-chasing nature and said, "Kise better join in soon. I'm not going to be the only one suffering," before joining in with drills with the rest of them. His tone, he didn't seem as though he believed in Suzume's easy evasion of the topic of her last name.

Suzume looked a little melancholic.

That was strange – Suzume's family name in the news? It wasn't like her last name was common like Sasaki either. It must have been nothing. The conversation didn't matter anyway, even if he wanted to know more about her. He knew by now she wasn't ready to share things about herself; she didn't see him as an adult. The most he could do was be there when she needed to talk. If Suzume taught him anything, it was how to be there for a friend, not press them into talking, and try to help them see their problems more clearly.

"Kid, are those fangirls?" Suzume asked, alarmed, but clearly trying to change the subject. She saw all the girls on the bleachers holding 'We Love Kise Ryouta' signs with huge smiles on their faces, cheering while looking at Kise who was just standing next to her, doing nothing remarkable. "Should have suspected."

"It's because I'm handsome and perfect and great at basketball, isn't it?" Kise said innocently. "That's why they stare at me, just like all the girls who confess to me say it, 'because Kise Ryouta is so perfect'. I can take a compliment." He shrugged and smiled, playing the part of the vain model that he was assumed to be much of the time. It was true, just, it wasn't all of him and he really didn't care what they thought anymore. "After all, it's true, isn't it?"

He tried to coax a laugh out of her, reminding her of the conversation they had at the café so long ago over Tiramisu and Mont Blanc, back when she first chastised him for having far too much of an ego.

He wasn't that person, at least, he'd like to think he wasn't. Kise still acknowledged his own strengths too much based on the perceptions of other people, like his looks, but he was trying to be himself. Suzume would realize he cared so much less about what other people thought now and he could take a compliment now without being hyper-sensitive to it, now that he could joke to her about it without whining like a baby. Suzume saw all his flaws and she mattered more to him than a bunch of random girls who never really saw Kise Ryouta in more than just the flesh.

To his contentment, Suzume ruffled his hair and chuckled. "If that's your attempt at being humble, you've got a long way to go, kid."

"Nothing really matters as long as you see my flaws and you see who I am," he admitted, finding his palms becoming kind of clammy. Maybe he was turning into Kasamatsu-senpai, even though he always prided himself on being able to talk to girls well. If he couldn't his career as a model was over. "It's kind of embarrassing, how I came to you about girl problems before."

"You know you can talk to me about anything," Suzume reassured, squeezing his shoulder and giving him a nod. She wanted to ensure he could talk to her about anything he wanted, that she was there to listen and she would try her best to sort him out the best she could. She cared about him, and it gave her some satisfaction to know she could help him see himself clearer when she couldn't do it in herself. Being a shitty hypocrite didn't sit well with her, but it was better than not being able to do anything at all. "I don't judge. Hell, you can tell me you still wear a diaper and I wouldn't care."

"Well I don't wear a diaper." Reaching up to his shoulder, he held her hand in his own, grasping it tightly and stroking the back of her palm, before letting it go entirely. "You know Suzumecchi?" Suzume hummed in response, and he held both her shoulders then, planting a swift kiss on her cheek before saying softly, "You can talk to me about anything too. Nothing you say will make me think badly of you either. I want to be there for you."

"Don't try to be all smooth with me." Suzume flicked him on the forehead, and he responded with an 'ouch'. Kise meant every show of affection for her, but he didn't mind if she thought otherwise: for now, at least. She smiled and said, "Thanks, kid. Your support means a lot." When he said that, it made her realize that maybe she worried him more than she intended by keeping everything hidden inside. She should have treated him like an equal and talked to him… maybe. He wasn't just a kid, he was someone who actually bothered to try to get to know her. She realized, maybe Kise was one of the few people who wouldn't care about what she told him, that her image didn't matter all that much to him, even if to other people, it'd be tarnished completely by what she said. "I'll do that."

Kise's eyes widened. "You're ready to vent?'" He remembered her words from last time during the modelling shoot, how she said she'd let him know if she needed to vent, but she was clearly evasive. "You want to talk?"

"When it gets too much to handle, the individual problems… Kid, thanks for offering, I'll take advantage of it," Suzume admitted. Maybe she needed to talk too. "Even if your image of me is ruined."

"Suzumecchi, you'll always be you to me. Whatever you're going through shaped you, so how can I hate it?" Kise asked honestly.

Innocent, just like a kid, she thought, but wiser than she could ever be because of moments like this. While he was concerned about reputation, small things like that, overall he was able to look past the image to the person inside. He didn't care about what people went through, shameful things other people would have mocked. Her realization of all that forced her to become unwise when it came to herself. People in general were less wise when it came to themselves, but adults even more so. And Kise was Kise because he was straightforward, not just because he was a kid. Despite being vain, and honest, he was genuine and sincere.

Suzume said nothing, only offered him a smile, before slapping him on the back and saying, "Go on and show me some basketball. I'll go sit on the bleachers away from your fangirls. Your captain's going to get pissed."

"Yeah. We'll talk later, okay Suzumecchi?" When he received her nod, he couldn't help but give her a loose embrace before joining the rest of his team and the captain who was now fully prepared to overwork him.

Somehow, Suzume didn't think the bleachers looked all too welcoming. She noticed it before, but maybe the girls on the bench thought she was a guy and didn't care, but the obvious affection from Kise to her proved otherwise. But, she was completely prepared to see a few tears for Kise being gay too, that could've been what they thought.