Note: It's a Beth and Mason chapter ya'll! It gets pretty fluffy in parts, but hopefully not too ridiculous. I've just really been wanting to write a chapter centered around these two so here it is! Also, the song is "She's My Ride Home" by Blue October. I used to be obsessed with it when I was in junior high and I thought it would be perfect for this chapter. I hope you guys like it!

9. She's My Ride Home

At first light Mason woke Beth, who sprung out of bed, instantly awake. Her blue eyes sparkled with furtive excitement. Mason rolled her eyes.

"Like Christmas morning, huh?"

"I don't think I ever got a drill sergeant for Christmas."

"I like how you aren't certain whether or not you got one."

"Well, you know, there are a few Christmases I can't remember."

"Oh, me, too. Tequila will do that to you."

They stole a quick breakfast of oats and water before slipping into the tombs. They stuck close together, Mason in the lead, meeting few walkers on the way. Something about the secrecy of the whole thing made her feel silly and breathless, and she welcomed it eagerly.

When they reached the cafeteria, Beth looked at her curiously. Mason shrugged.

"I thought it would be a good place to start."

The cafeteria was empty and quiet, a complete one-eighty from the first time she'd been there. The silence made her skin prickle.

"It's a decent space," she said, shaking off the eeriness. "Doesn't seem like the walkers are getting in. Maybe we could…"

She trailed off. Beth stood in the middle of the room, staring at a wide, dark stain on the floor. Mason stiffened. She could still see Hershel slumped there, blood flying as Rick swung the axe…

"Um…maybe we could try somewhere else."

Beth blinked, wide-eyed as though she were seeing the memory herself, and then she nodded.

"Yeah. I'm sure there're plenty of other places."

They ventured back into the tombs, exploring further than Mason had ever gone. Walkers were more frequent but they came in twos and threes, nothing unmanageable. Beth seemed eager to prove herself, jumping in with her knife whenever she was given the opportunity. Mason tried to ignore the uncomfortable prickling in her gut, the one that told her Beth should stay behind her, that she needed to be protected. The whole point of this day was to prove her gut wrong.

Mason slowed as they approached the administrative wing.

"Why are we stoppin'?" Beth whispered.

"Nobody's cleared this yet. This is where that group came through, remember? They lost one of their own."

Mason's throat tightened with regret at the thought of such waste when allies were as good as gold, but there was nothing to be done about it now.

"If we double back, is there anythin' in the other direction?"

"Infirmary. It's not overrun, but it's dark and there's not much space."

"I thought the whole point of this was to clear a space out."

Mason frowned. Unless they used another cell block, there weren't many places she could think of off the top of her head. A space outside would've been ideal, but there was no way with all the walkers roaming their yard…

"What about the roof?" Beth said.

Mason blinked. "How would we get up there?"

"The windows in the cafeteria. We could try 'em at least."

"We can't. They're barred."

"Then I guess we'll have to use another cell block. What about D? Axel and Oscar lived there for a while."

Mason bit the inside of her lip, reluctant to reveal that she wanted to avoid using a cell block. That she didn't want to be in there alone with the ghosts of dead men because soon that might be her group. That she didn't want to train for battle alone in a space that mirrored where she slept, because it might bring her nightmares to life.

She couldn't tell Beth that. She couldn't. It was ridiculous and stupid, but more than that, she didn't want Beth to feel the same.

"Alright," she said. "C'mon."

Cell block D was brightly lit. The sun coming in through the windows coated everything with balmy gold, but somehow this just augmented the isolation of the room. Mason led the way inside, iron raised for any unexpected visitors. It was haunting to look into the cells and see nothing of her group, nothing to suggest they were alive, or had ever existed.

Stop it, she thought furiously, rubbing the back of her neck to smooth her prickling hair. They're alive. Don't be a dumbass.

Assured that the room was clear, Mason turned to Beth. "So what do you think? Is this the finest gym Georgia has to offer, or what?"

Beth grinned. "It is, Sergeant Mason. Are we startin' now?"

Mason stifled a sigh. "May as well."

Starting, however, was a little more daunting than Mason had anticipated. What she'd told Beth was true. She wasn't any kind of professional. All of her skill out there with the walkers came from experience, which she was quick to confide to Beth when ten minutes had gone by and she could think of nothing literally nothing else to say but "expect the unexpected".

"Like, if we could just go outside…" Frustrated, she shook her head. "You know what, fuck this. Beth, come at me like you would a walker."

Beth blinked. "Like…with my knife?"

"Yes."

"I don't know…what if I hurt you?"

"Okay, then use an imaginary knife. Just come at me."

Uncertainly, Beth sheathed her knife and stepped forward. Her movements were hesitant, flighty like a deer that couldn't decide whether or not to dart out in front of a truck.

Mason smirked wryly. "Maybe I should make this more realistic." Shambling forward, she let out a low, guttural growl and reached for Beth.

Beth giggled nervously and backed away. "Mason…"

"C'mon, Beth, or I'm gonna eat you."

Mason inched forward, arms outstretched, and theatrically gnashed her teeth. Beth swiped her imaginary knife at her and kept backing up.

"You're gonna have to get closer than that," Mason growled.

"I know that, just…hold up a second…"

"Walkers won't wait for you to be ready."

Mason grabbed at Beth's arm, pulling her closer, but Beth brought her pretend knife down on Mason's wrist and pushed her away.

"Good…but, like, you know…their brain is in their head."

Beth scowled. "I don't need an anatomy lesson."

She dodged to the side as Mason swiped at her, catching her on the shoulder without finding any purchase.

"You're not holding your knife."

Beth balled her left hand into a fist.

"There. Happy?"

Mason lunged without a word, seizing the front of Beth's shirt. She stumbled back with a gasp, falling to the floor and bringing Mason down on top of her. As though she couldn't help herself, Beth giggled.

Mason frowned. "What's funny? If I were really a walker you'd be my lunch."

"I don't see you takin' a bite," Beth replied. Her eyes glinted, her lips curved up in a smirk. Like a challenge.

With a snort, Mason buried her head in Beth's neck and gently grazed her shoulder with her teeth.

"Gotcha."

Beth fell still, and in the sudden quiet Mason could hear the pulse in her neck. She could feel it under her lips, warm and strong.

Mason pulled away but didn't get up. Beth was staring at her with wide, glittering eyes, and that smile was still on her face but there was something new in her expression, something that made the room seem smaller.

"Gotcha," Mason whispered again. She couldn't stop staring at the place her lips had touched, the delicate line of Beth's shoulder blade, so close to her neck, so close to her jaw line, her lips…

"Nope," Beth said, startling her. "I got you."

Before she could respond, Beth reached up and dug her fingers into Mason's sides. Mason spluttered and tried to hold her ground, but Beth was relentless.

"Beth…s-stop…goddammit!"

Desperately Mason rolled to the side but Beth rolled with her and pinned her to the floor. Her fingers drilled into Mason's ribcage, wickedly precise. Mason squirmed violently but couldn't break free.

"F-fuck! Okay, quit it! Please!"

"Do I win?"

"Y-yeah, yeah!"

Beth sat up, looking ridiculously pleased with herself, and pulled Mason to her feet. Mason tried to arrange her expression into something more dangerous but Beth wasn't buying it.

"Don't you dare tell anyone, you little shit," Mason said.

"Or what?" Beth said and innocently batted her eyelashes.

Mason rolled her eyes. "Look, I highly doubt you're gonna run into any ticklish walkers out there so let's go again, okay? No cheating this time."

"Yes, drill sergeant."

They worked until noon. Mason did her best trying to actualize different scenarios, but it was difficult when she was the only one acting as the walker. As they headed back to C for lunch, she wondered if maybe she could ask someone else to help. But the notion disappeared as soon as they stepped into the commons room.

Glenn, Hershel and Daryl were hovered over a table, dividing up the weapons. Carol stood nearby, offering suggestions on the best places to hide some of them for when the need arose. Merle slouched a ways off, sharpening his knife-hand. Maggie was sorting through their medical supplies at a different table, studiously ignoring him.

She looked up as Beth and Mason walked in. The smile she gave them didn't reach her eyes and Mason felt as though she'd just been thrown into a cold ocean after a day in the sun. This was reality. Not that room alone with Beth.

"Hey, you guys. Comin' back for some lunch?"

Mason glanced from her to Beth in surprise. Beth just nodded and said, "What's on the menu?"

"There's some ramen made up, and the last of the pecans. I saved 'em for when you two got back."

While they divvied out their food, Mason whispered, "Does Maggie know what we're doing?"

"I didn't tell her exactly," Beth replied. "I just told her to cover for us."

"So what…" Mason trailed off, unable to finish her question. What did Maggie think they were doing, off on their own together? She blushed and sat at an empty table.

"It'd be nice if Rick got back with some salt," Beth said, making a face at the bland noodles.

"I just hope they find more weapons," Mason muttered. The previous night, after dinner, Rick had announced that he was going on a run to find guns. Carl and Michonne had gone with him. Mason couldn't help doubting that they'd have any luck but she didn't voice this opinion.

The baby started crying right as they were finishing their lunch. Maggie stood up but Beth shook her head.

"I'll get her."

Reluctantly Mason followed her into the cell block. She leaned against the wall and tried not to make a face at the baby's wails. Beth scooped the kid out of the box she slept in and started rocking her, humming soothingly under her breath, and after a moment the kid quieted.

Mason raised an eyebrow. "Is she not hungry? Or, you know, whatever?"

"She just wanted a little company." Beth smiled. "Why don't you come and say hello?"

"Uh…no, I'm okay-"

"C'mon. Don't tell me this tiny human scares you."

Mason narrowed her eyes and marched up the stairs without a word. She stopped in front of Beth, looked directly at the kid and said, "Greetings, tiny human. There, happy?"

Beth shook her head. "I know you're not a baby person but she's a part of the family now. Just think of her like that."

"I know she is. I just…"

"How about you try holdin' her."

"Holding her? Oh, no, I don't think that's… What if I drop her? Pretty sure Rick would drop me."

"I won't let you drop her. I trust you. Do you trust me?"

Mason prickled with anxiety, but Beth's eyes were certain. Swallowing her nerves, she nodded. "Alright, give her here."

"Okay, hold your arms out like this… Yeah, there you go… Make sure you support her head."

As Beth handed the baby over, her little hands clutched at Mason's shirt, stronger than Mason expected. Her blue eyes were wide with curiosity. After a while Mason started to fidget, unsure of what to do.

Beth coughed, not-so-subtly hiding a laugh, and said, "Go ahead and talk to her."

"About what?"

"Anythin' you want. She doesn't judge."

"Um," Mason said. "Okay. Hello…tiny person who can't understand a word I say… How's it hanging? How do you like your sleeping box? I actually found that for you, I don't know if you know that… Um, sorry there's not, like, a mobile or anything. I think I was pretty fond of those when I was your size… There just, you know, hasn't been much opportunity to look for anything that doesn't kill and/or maim people. Maybe your daddy will find something fun for you today…"

As Mason rambled on, Little Asskicker clenched and unclenched her hands in Mason's shirt. She kept expecting the baby to start wailing at any moment but she stayed silent.

"…and once we take care of all this bullshit with the Governor you can go outside and see how pretty it is. You know, Georgia's actually really beautiful. I never thought-"

"Hey." Beth nudged her and pointed to the baby, whose eyelids were drooping shut.

Mason blinked, surprised. "Oh. Guess I'm less interesting than I thought."

Beth smiled and reached for Little Asskicker. "I'll put her down, and then we can get back to work."

Mason ignored the amusement in her expression and went to wait at the bottom of the steps. She could hear Glenn and Merle arguing in the commons room, at least until Hershel told them to shut up. She sighed.

"What's wrong?" Beth asked, coming down the steps.

Mason forced a smile. "Nothing." Everything. "C'mon."

They took great pains to sneak through the other side of the tombs, avoiding the commons room altogether. In the back of her mind Mason thought it probably would've been easier just to plead their case to the group- Beth needed to know how to defend herself, and they could've convinced them of that. But that would've been it. That would've solidified more than anything the gravity of their situation. The impossibility of it. Really the only thing worse would be outfitting Little Asskicker with an AK.

She snorted at the absurdity of the image. Beth looked at her curiously.

"What's funny?"

Mason shook her head. "Nothing."

"You know, I know how to deal with walkers one-on-one now. Maybe you could teach me how to fight actual people?"

Mason faltered in her tracks. "You shoot them," she said. "That's how you fight people."

"But what if I don't have a gun? Or I run out of bullets? You can't just prepare me for the ideal situation. Sooner or later I'm fightin', and I know you know I'm right."

Before Mason could respond, a walker turned the corner and shambled toward them. Beth knocked it to the ground and drove the heel of her boot into its head. Then she looked expectantly at Mason.

"You promised you'd teach me."

Mason sighed. "Yes, I did. C'mon, we're almost to D."

When they got back to their training block, Mason took up a position a few paces away from Beth.

"Okay, look. When it comes to walkers, you pretty much know what to expect. They're slower than us, they're clumsier, and they're going for the bite," she said. "People are different. Never assume that you know what they're going to do, because half the time you won't. And don't assume that fighting someone is going to turn out like in the movies, because it never will. It will never be clean, it will never be easy, and you will never win if you let your guard down."

Beth nodded seriously. Her eyes punched a hole in Mason's chest. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and went on.

"I've been in a few fights, most of them after the shit hit the fan. I won because I knew a few tricks, and because I used what was around me. Always be aware of that. Like if I were to attack you now, what could you use as a weapon against me?"

Beth looked around quickly. There wasn't much, but her eyes landed on a pile of torn clothing a few feet away.

"Those," she said. "I could pull 'em tight and strangle you." She blanched immediately at her answer but Mason nodded encouragingly.

"No, that's good. Now, if you're somewhere where there aren't many options or you don't have time to reach a weapon, there are a couple of tricks I can teach you. The first one I'll show you is how to take someone's gun, and it's pretty badass…"

~m~

They trained late into the afternoon. Beth was a quick and determined learner, never giving up until she'd perfected a technique. By the time Mason called it quits they were both covered in sweat, and there was a new formidable gleam in Beth's eyes.

"What did you say that last move was?" she asked as they retraced their steps through the tombs.

"Krav Maga," Mason answered. "I'm not an expert by any means but quite a few of the moves I showed you originate from it. It's a pretty kickass fighting style."

"Where'd you learn it?"

"Gina and I taught each other. We couldn't afford the classes so we bought a book and used each other as guinea pigs."

Beth frowned but said nothing more.

When they walked into the commons room, Mason was relieved to see that Rick, Carl and Michonne had made it back. They were gathered around the table that held all their weapons, except now there was more than double what there had been before.

Mason grinned. "Holy shit. Nice shopping." Then she noticed the blood on Rick's shoulder, the tear in his shirt, and she was instantly alarmed. "What happened?"

"Ran into an old friend," Rick replied.

Mason frowned, trying to read his tone. It didn't sound as if they'd run into the Governor or one of his lackeys, but Rick refused to elaborate either way.

Michonne elbowed Carl. "Let's go give your sister her present."

For one wild moment Mason thought they really were giving the baby a gun, but then she noticed the box on the other side of the table, a faded image of a crib printed on the side. Carl grinned at Michonne, a genuine expression of comradery, while Rick watched with thoughtful eyes.

"Well, now, ya'll got your weapons," Merle said as Michonne and Carl carried the box away. "Look pretty pleased about it, too. I hope you know this is the first step to you marchin' your sorry asses right into an early grave."

Mason ground her teeth. "I don't see you coming up with any brilliant ideas."

"Wrong, little missy. I got brilliant ideas but none of ya'll want to listen."

"We're not leaving," Glenn growled.

Merle didn't seem perturbed by the hate dripping from his tone. He shrugged and said, "If you want to live, that's the only way. But far be it from me to stand in your way. There ain't no cure for stupidity."

"I'm sure you know that all too well," Mason muttered. Merle glared at her.

"Man, will ya'll shut the hell up?" Daryl said. "You can fight later when this Governor's in the ground."

"Daryl's right," Rick said. "We need to figure out what the plan is. We have the weapons now, but we don't have the numbers. We're gonna need to play this one carefully."

Everyone but Merle sat down at the table. He leaned against the wall nearby, looking mutinous but staying quiet. Once Michonne and Carl had finished putting the crib together they joined in as well, but by the end of the meeting they had done nothing but gone around in circles. No one could think of any new solutions.

Eventually, Rick sighed. "Let's eat. We'll pick up again tomorrow. For now let's all try and get some rest."

Discouraged, Mason got to her feet and headed for the cell block. She hadn't eaten since lunch but her stomach felt heavy. Reaching for her iPod, she sprawled out on her bunk and turned the volume up high.

A little while later, a shadow stepped into view. She looked up, expecting Beth, and blinked in surprise when she saw Daryl watching her. She sat up and took off her headphones.

"What's up?"

He motioned in the direction of the commons room. "You gonna eat?"

"Oh, um…maybe later. I don't know if I could manage it right this second."

Daryl nodded, chewing the inside of his lip. Mason cocked an eyebrow.

"That what you came here for? To make sure I eat?"

He was silent for another moment before he said, "Carol told me you left."

Mason swallowed. "Oh." She cringed, waiting for the anger, the accusation, but it never came. Instead Daryl glanced shyly at his feet and then back at her.

"I just want you to know I'm glad you changed your mind," he said.

"Oh." Heat colored her cheeks but she ignored it. Smiling, she said, "I'm glad you did, too."

Daryl nodded again, looking more fidgety than she'd seen him look before, then turned away.

"Eat," he said and disappeared.

~m~

"Mason. Mason, wake up."

"Wha…Beth?"

"Yes! Now hurry and wake up!"

Mason sat up in her bunk, heart pounding, adrenaline prickling in her stomach. "What's the matter?" Her hand reached automatically for her fire iron but Beth shook her head.

"Shh!" she hissed. "Nothing's wrong, just come with me. And bring your iPod."

"Are you for real right now? It's the middle of the night!"

"Which is why you need to keep quiet."

Stifling a growl, Mason hauled herself out of bed, grabbed her iPod and fire iron and followed Beth out of the cell. It was only then that she noticed that Beth was already outfitted with shoes, flashlight and knife.

"Where have you been? And where are we going?" she whispered. Beth was leading her to the door opposite the commons room, where they'd snuck through earlier, but she couldn't think of a reason why. At least not one good enough to justify startling her out of sleep.

"You'll see. Just keep quiet."

Mason snapped into alertness as they navigated the tombs, ready in case there were any walkers out on an adventure of their own. But they met none, and Beth slowed as they came to a door not far from the infirmary.

"You gonna tell me what this is yet?" Mason asked.

In the dim light of the flashlight, Beth's eyes sparkled. "Nope."

Before Mason could protest, she opened the mysterious door and stepped inside. Mason hurried after and grabbed Beth's arm.

"Hey! Are you crazy?" she said. "There could be walkers in here, or rabid animals or booby traps or…fucking black holes. You can't just-"

"Mason, relax," Beth said. "I already cleared this room. Don't worry, there were only a couple of walkers and I took care of 'em. This door's the only way in or out. And I didn't see any animals or anythin'. Guess you could be right about the black holes, though."

Mason stared in astonishment. "You…cleared it? By yourself?"

Beth narrowed her eyes. "Yeah. I did. You don't have to sound so surprised about it."

"No, that's not… What I meant was that that was a really stupid and dangerous thing to do, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. There could've been twenty walkers in here. That's more than anyone can handle on their own."

Beth glared and said nothing. Mason shook her head.

"Beth, I don't care what the situation is. I don't want you to put yourself in danger. Do you understand?"

"Well, I don't want you puttin' yourself in danger either but you do it anyway. From now on, why don't we just agree to do stupid, dangerous things together?"

Mason stood there for a moment, trying to come up with an argument, but could think of none. In the end she sighed and said, "You're a brat."

"You're pretty rude for someone who's about to get a really cool surprise."

Mason felt an inexplicable flutter in her stomach. "A surprise?" she said.

Beth nodded. "So if you'll let me get to it?"

"Definitely a brat."

Beth closed the door and led her deeper into the room, from the looks of which must have been used for storage. Boxes and mesh shelving, all of it covered in a thick layer of dust, made up a labyrinthine passage to the center of the room, where a tower of boxes reached toward the ceiling.

"Is…is that the surprise?"

"Oh my lord…no. I stacked those so I could get to that." Beth pointed to the square of mesh in the ceiling tile. "The surprise is up above."

"Um…the air duct?"

"Will you stop guessin'?"

"Will you stop being so mysterious?"

Beth grinned. "You don't do too well with surprises, do you?"

"Not really, no. At my tenth birthday party I punched my cousin in the face when he jumped out and yelled 'surprise'."

"Really?"

"No. I actually did punch him a few years later, though. Guy was a real dick."

Beth led the way up the box tower, scaling it with ease. When she reached the top she pried the mesh square from the ceiling and handed it to Mason.

"When you get up here," she said, "just climb straight up." Then she pulled herself into the air duct, leaving Mason alone in the dark.

Bemused, she stashed the mesh between two boxes and followed. Fresh air kissed her face as she pulled herself in, and when she looked up a lock of moonlight illuminated a squat metal tunnel directly above.

Breathless with excitement, Mason scrambled up the tunnel. It was a tight squeeze but it allowed her to shimmy through quickly, and then in a blink she was outside. The night air greeted her sweetly, high enough off the ground that the constant whiff of death was virtually absent. Beth stood a few feet away, smiling widely, outlined in moonlight. Behind her, a single blanket had been laid out on the roof.

The fluttering started up again. Mason coughed self-consciously.

"Well?" Beth said. "Do you like your surprise?"

"I love it," Mason replied, smiling despite her nerves. "I can't believe you found a way out here."

"I snuck out as soon as everyone was asleep. I wanted to try. I know how much you like bein' outside at night."

Mason blinked. She'd never told Beth that.

Beth grinned at her startled expression. "It's so cute how you're not even aware of how transparent you are."

Mason's cheeks flamed instantly. Ducking her head, she growled, "I'm not transparent. I'm an enigma." And I'm definitely not cute.

"Right. Of course you are."

"I am! Scholars have actually traveled millions of miles just to study my thoughts and none of them ever got close. Their brains melted under the weight of my awesome mystery."

Beth giggled. "Well, maybe you'll let a humble choir girl have a shot?"

"I suppose I'll allow it."

Beth ushered Mason over to the blanket, laying down next to her like it was nothing in the world, like it didn't set Mason's heart to breakneck speed, like it didn't make the air in her lungs feel electric. Willing her hands not to shake, Mason laid her headphones in the space between them and turned the music up so that they both could hear.

They laid in companionable silence for a while, listening as Ellie Goulding melted into Lykke Li then into Lana Del Rey. Every once in a while, when she thought Beth wasn't looking, Mason glanced over to catch her reaction to a certain lyric or a turn of melody.

When Beth spoke, her voice sounded dreamy. "We should do this every night," she said.

"Mmm…What about when it rains?"

"I like the rain. We couldn't bring your iPod but I could sing."

Mason smiled at the thought. "That sounds nice."

"I'll learn your favorite songs and sing 'em right into your ear."

For a second, it was perfectly clear. Beth's honey voice, her warm breath brushing her ear, her neck… Blushing profusely, Mason cleared her throat and said, "I'll sing your favorites right back to you."

"Do you sing?"

"All the time."

Beth's eyes glimmered. Suddenly afraid that she would ask her to sing something, Mason scrambled to change the subject.

"What's your favorite color?"

"What?"

"Well I know we're, like, besties now or whatever but we really don't know all that much about each other."

Amused, Beth said, "And you think knowin' my favorite color will unravel all my mysteries?"

Mason grinned. "Maybe you'll let a humble Aquarius find out?"

"Alright. Yellow. What's yours?"

"Black. Like my soul. Now you ask me one. Yeah, we're ping-ponging, that's how this works."

"Okay, um… Why do you like bein' out at night?"

Mason shrugged. "I don't know. It makes me feel safe. Back when we lived in Kansas, me and Gina used to sneak out at night all the time. Sometimes we'd walk around the neighborhood, or she'd take me to this creek behind the park. She used to track the cycles of the moon like it was a fucking religion because she was fascinated by astrology and witchcraft… She used to make up these stories-"

Abruptly Mason paused, flushing with embarrassment. "Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to start rambling."

But Beth shook her head. "You can tell me about her. I know she meant a lot to you." Her tone was gentle but her eyes were sad, and Mason felt all the old grief rekindled in her chest.

"What were the stories she told you?" Beth prompted.

"They weren't always nice stories," Mason said. "Gina loved wolves. They were her favorite animals since she was a kid and she always came up with these crazy stories about wolves rising up to hunt the humans, ridding the world of them. Nature taking charge again, you know? She believed that people were what was wrong with the world."

For the barest heartbeat, Mason was back in that forest, drowning in rain, in blood, in screams she couldn't get to in time. One dark shock of anguish and then she was resurfacing again, in a life separated from that forest by moonlight and the color of Beth's eyes.

"After all this," she rasped. "After seeing what people can do? I know she was right."

Pain flickered in Beth's expression. She reached out and brushed her fingers across Mason's cheek, to wipe away what Mason refused to believe was a tear. Against her better judgment, Mason sighed and leaned into Beth's hand.

They stayed like that for a moment that was not a moment, a moment that was a lifetime in disguise, and in it Mason found herself worlds away from everything. Nothing existed but her and Beth, the rooftop and the sky. Nothing mattered but Beth's fingertips, the intimate thrum of her pulse on Mason's face, like a communication through skin.

Finally Beth said, "Not everyone."

Mason met her gaze, iron strong, blue as two forget-me-nots, and something in her heart broke open.

"No," she murmured. "Not everyone."

Gently she reached out and touched Beth's hand, but her fingers stilled as her pinkie brushed a line of raised skin on her wrist. She heard the breath catch in Beth's throat, felt a tendon in her forearm twitch as she stiffened. Abruptly she leaned away, and the place where her hand had been felt stark and naked.

Mason fixed her gaze on Beth's, for once feeling neither shame nor shyness but instead a deep calm. Without a word, she held out her hand, palm open like an offering. Beth sat quietly, clearly reluctant, her eyes flickering with memories like minnows in a stream. Just when Mason thought she would remain resistant, Beth reached out and closed the distance.

Slowly, she turned over Beth's arm, exposing her wrist to the moonlight and throwing its thin band of scar tissue into silvery relief.

Beth said nothing. The tension in her jawline was obvious, the way she glared off to the side in defiance. Mason let go of her hand. Beth continued looking anywhere but her until Mason began lifting up her shirt.

"Wh-what are you doin'?" she gasped.

She fell silent immediately at the chaos of pale scars criss-crossing Mason's side.

"I did most of them before all of this started," Mason said. "After that there just wasn't time to waste on anything but survival, which was ironic considering most of the time I just fantasized about ways to die."

Mason shook her head. "I thought these meant that I wasn't strong. I thought they made me less than everyone else around me. But that's bullshit. Strength is not the absence of weakness. I'm still trying to come to terms with that."

Eyes shining with tears that never fell, Beth nodded. "Me, too."

Mason lowered her shirt and smiled. "No one ever knew about these except Gina. And now, you."

"I feel special."

Mason opened her mouth to answer, but the words faltered. There was a light in Beth's eyes, a softness in the set of her mouth, that set fire to the veins in Mason's body. Something had changed in the space between them, a tiny shift that crumbled every wall Mason had built. Something had changed in her, she'd been careless, she had let it. There was a new feeling in her chest, not unlike the grief from before, one she recognized and wished she didn't.

Fuck.

It took only a few seconds to become conscious of all of this. Beth was still waiting for her to speak. Mason cleared her throat. "You are."

Beth's answering smile was everything Mason knew she wanted.

Everything she knew would destroy her.

"So now you ask me a question," Beth said. "We're ping-pongin', right?"

"Right," Mason replied and smiled, surprised by her ability to do so even though inside the panic was hurrying to fill her up all over again.

She held herself together for the night, asked questions and laughed, but by the time the stars disappeared her composure had gone with them, leaving behind only one certainty.

She had fucked up. In spite of every deterrent measure, in spite of every wall she'd built out of blood and rain and the sound of screams, she'd let herself fall in love again. There was no more point in denying it when she felt it so strongly.

She was in love with Beth.

There was no running from it. No fighting it.

She

was in love

with Beth.

And suddenly everything was terrifying again.