So here's what you missed on Alone With You
-Rachel tells Santana that Brittany has been asking about her
-Rachel has a date with Finn and Quinn is busy with school so Santana asks Brittany to hang out
-They talk a little about past relationships and watch the O.C.
-They cuddle and right after they start to hold hands Rachel comes home, upset she's falling for Finn again
-The girls comfort her then Santana goes home
-She wakes up from a phone call from Brittany telling her to meet her at the coffee shop down the block
XxxxxxxxxxxX
I look through the glass windows of Tazza, the coffee shop I think Brittany was talking about, to see if I can find Brittany. It's kind of busy for a Saturday morning, but it's not too packed. I see two other blonde girls before I find Brittany. I smile as I walk through the doors.
She's lounging on a couch with her back to me.
"Hey," I say as I tap her shoulder. She turns around with a big grin.
"Hi! Here," she hands me a coffee. "I got you regular. I don't know how you take it so I'll let you get the milk or creamer over there, but here are two sugars if you need them."
"Thanks," I smile. "Two is perfect," I tell her as I open the lid and pour the sugars in. I excuse myself for a moment as I walk toward the little table in the corner to add a little milk.
When I return, Brittany is still sitting on the couch with a giddy look on her face. Her legs are bouncing as she grips her coffee cup with both hands.
I'm about to sit next to her when she jumps to her feet and grabs my wrist.
"No," she says. I just laugh at her jumpy behavior.
"What's going on?" I ask. "Are you okay?"
She takes a deep breath and pulls me by my wrist to the large bulletin board in the back corner.
"Look," she breaths. My eyes search the board for anything remotely interesting. There are adds looking for a receptionist, a dog sitter, and a used laptop. There are adds promoting a babysitter and some student performance next week. Then there's some pictures and ads for restaurants around here.
I stare over the ads again before I look over at Brittany whose staring at me expectantly.
"What am I looking at?" I ask.
Brittany rolls her eyes before her hand shoots up to an ad I already skimmed over.
Next Saturday
Students of NYU perform for the public
All types of performances welcome
I turn to Brittany after I read over the flyer and she's smiling wide at me.
"So?" She asks.
"So what?" I say not totally grasping why we're standing in front of this flyer.
"Will you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Perform," she states.
"What? N-no. No," I shake my head. Brittany's lip pouts slightly. "I don't even think I can because I'm not in the summer program," I try.
Brittany's finger shoots to the bottom of the flyer. In tiny, tiny print there is a small statement in italics next to an asterisk.
*Students do not need to be enrolled in summer programs to be eligible to perform.
"Oh," I mutter. Brittany clearly thought this all out.
"You have to do it!" She cries.
"I- I can't," I mutter.
"Why not?" she asks softly. I don't really have an answer so I don't say anything. I just keep rereading the flyer.
"Santana, you said you missed performing. And you're incredible. It makes you happy, doesn't it?" she asks.
A small smile forms on my lips as I nod.
"Then you have to do it. It won't be a high pressure situation. Just something fun."
I reread the flyer one more time. It's a late afternoon performance, not too late.
"The students are all really really talented, though," I start to say.
"So are you!" She says adamantly as her hands grip my shoulders. "That tape," she says, "you were amazing. And everyone always talks about how amazing you are."
I look down at my feet as I try to think about what to do. I miss performing more than anything. But at McKinley I always had a group behind me to support me. I was a big fish in a small pond. Now I'm all alone. And I'm a small fish in a huge, ginormous, super talented ocean.
"And I wanna see you sing," Brittany pleads. I finally look up at her and her eyes are so soft.
"I don't even know what to sing," I sigh.
Brittany's smile grows a little.
"I'll help you!" She says as her hands slip down my arms to grab my hands. That's all I needed.
"I'll do it," I sigh.
"Yes!" She squeals as she throws her arms around my neck and pulls me into her. I quickly wrap my arms around her back and take in her scent. Her body is so warm.
"We have to call the number!" She smiles as she pulls away. Brittany takes out her phone as she dials the number on the flyer.
"You want to call?" she asks as she holds out the phone.
"Can you?" I ask.
Brittany nods and hits the call button.
"Hello? Hi, yes," Brittany says. "I'm calling about the show next Saturday. I have someone who would like to perform. Yes. Yeah, an NYU student. Santana Lopez. Okay, yeah."
Brittany takes the phone away from her ear. On hold she mouths.
"Thank you," I smile.
I take out my phone and find a text from Quinn.
Where did you go? Will you be back here by 12:30? You and Rach said you'd meet me here so I could tell you my news.
"Shit," I breath.
"What?" Brittany asks.
"Hold on," I tell her. I check the time. 12:19. Fuck. I gotta leave.
I'll be right there. Can Brittany come? Or is the news too private?
Quinn answers back right away.
Of course!
"Yeah, hi. Um, I don't know yet," Brittany talks again. "She will call when she picks. Okay. Great. Thanks so much! Bye!"
"Thanks," I smile.
She nods. "You just have to call when you pick your song, okay?"
"Yeah," I tell her. "Look, Quinn wanted Rachel and I to meet her at 12:30 so she could tell us some sort of news. She said you can come too," I quickly tell her so she doesn't feel like she isn't welcome. "But we have to leave now," I tell her.
Brittany quickly nods. "You sure I should go?"
"Yeah, of course! Plus, whatever this news is I'm sure is overdramatic. I'm gonna want someone to laugh about it with," I nudge her. Brittany giggles as we quickly exit the coffee shop and head back to my apartment.
XxxxxxxxxxxX
"We're here, we're here," I say as I throw the door open. "Don't get your panties in a bunch," I joke as we walk into our living room. Rachel and Quinn and both seated on the couch. Rachel laughs a little but Quinn just rolls her eyes.
"Where were you two?" Quinn asks.
"Tazza," I tell her.
"For what?" Rachel asks.
"I got her to sing!" Brittany sings.
"What?" They both sit up in unison.
"Not yet," I sigh. "Don't worry you didn't miss anything."
"Wait, what?" Quinn asks again.
"Next Saturday there's a showcase type thing for NYU students. Dancers, singers, musicians. They're all welcome," Brittany tells her. "I got Santana to sign up!"
"San! That's amazing!" Rachel squeals as she gets up to give me an unwelcome hug.
"Wait, what?" Quinn asks again.
"I'm singing," I state again with an edge. I don't understand why it's so hard to understand.
"I heard you," Quinn says. "How did you manage that?" She asks Brittany.
"What do you mean?" I snap defensively.
"We've been trying to get you to perform since you got here," Quinn says, astonished. I just shrug.
"It doesn't matter," Rachel smiles. "We'll be there!"
"Thanks," I smile as I take a seat on the recliner across from the couch. Brittany comes and sits on the arm rest of my chair, making my stomach swirl. There's an empty recliner a few feet away from me that she easily could have sat on.
"So why are we here?" I ask to take the focus away from me.
Quinn takes a deep breath.
"I just wanted to let you guys know, together, before-" she stops as she lets out a sigh.
Rachel and I eye each other.
"Puck is coming to visit," she states.
I try my hardest to keep my mouth from hanging open but when I look to Rachel I see she is making no attempt to keep her's closed.
It's not that I think it's bad that he's coming. I actually like Quinn and Puck together. Not that he treated her completely right, but I know she loves him. And he definitely cares about her. And with this new, loose Quinn, I think they have a better chance at working more now than ever before. She was always a little too uptight with him, something Puck definitely didn't want to deal with.
"Wait, he's coming from L.A.?" Rachel asks.
Quinn nods hesitantly. I don't think she can read our reactions yet.
"When is he coming?"
"Um, tosorroy," Quinn purposely mumbles something we can't quite make out.
"What?" we say.
"Today," she mutters under her breath.
"Quinn!" I freak. "Today?"
"Mhm," she mutters. "I'm sorry! I wanted to tell you earlier! But I just didn't want to tell you guys I was talking to him incase it didn't work out. But yesterday he finalized his flight-"
"What time is he getting in?" I chime in.
"He lands in an hour," she mumbles.
"An hour?" I scream.
"Mhm," Quinn says as she hangs her head.
"Where's he staying?" I ask in the calmest tone I can manage.
"Well, that's the thing. I kind of, I wanted to know if it was okay with you if he could stay here."
I sigh. "Quinn, of course. I mean, I don't want you to think I'm mad. You know I love Puck. I'm just shocked."
"But I don't know if I want him in my bed yet, you know?" she whispers as her face heats up. "I mean, he'll have the couch but-"
"He can have my bed," I shrug. "I could always bunk with you. Or even Rach and Brit if you want the option to have alone time with him."
The girls both nod.
"Plus, I do not want to be here if you two have sexy time," I roll my eyes.
"You can stay at our house," Rachel offers. "But you can't sleep with me if you're still a kicker," Rachel quickly adds. I laugh a little.
"You can always sleep with me," Brittany says. "My sister's a kicker. I'm pretty immune to it," she shrugs with a smile.
The corner of my lips curl upward. "Thanks."
"Do you want us here when he gets here?" I ask.
"Well I have to pick him up at the airport," she says. "We're probably gonna go to dinner tomorrow night with everyone. Finn and Sam, hopefully you all can come too?" She asks. We all nod. "But tonight I think we are going to go out alone. Catch up, you know," she says.
Rachel's smile grows. "You're happy," she says. Quinn starts blushing but tries to shake her off.
"We're happy for you," I tell her so she doesn't feel like she has to answer.
"Nothing happened yet!" She says defensively.
"Yet," Rachel jokes.
"Yeah, yeah," Quinn rolls her eyes.
"Well, how about I clear out my room for him, just for the rare case that he ends up in my bedroom. And I'll sleep at their place tonight. Give you guys some alone time."
"You don't have to-"
"No," I tell her. "It's okay. You deserve it," I say. The thing is, I want to see Quinn happy. And she's happiest when she's care free and being silly and not uptight. And if any guy I've seen her with brings that out of her, it's Puck. Plus, if that means I get a night with Brittany, that's not too bad either.
I jump up to my feet. "I'm gonna clean up and grab some clothes for tonight," I announce.
Rachel stands up to hug Quinn and Brittany quickly follows.
"Text me if you need me. I can't wait to hear all about it," Rachel smiles. "Have some fun, okay?" She says. Quinn nods.
"Have fun!" Brittany simply says. I'm sure she's pretty lost.
It must be hard for her. Coming into a close group of friends like this. We've known each other forever. And we know each other's past and secrets. And she's just been thrown into our group. She has no one else, either. I just hope she doesn't feel like a stranger or anything.
I leave them alone to finish their goodbyes as I walk into my room. I begin picking up some loose socks, a dirty sweatshirt, and other worn clothes off my floor. I put them in a pile next to the door so I can carry them to the laundry room on my way out. I push play on my laptop on my recently added playlist and immediately the familiar country tune starts playing. I begin to make my bed as Quinn walks into my room. She leans against my door frame and begins to watch me straighten out my sheets.
"So Puck, huh?" I say as I look up to her.
"What the hell is this?" Quinn laughs.
"What?" I ask, looking around the room for something strange.
"You hate country," she says as she continues to stare at me.
"I like this song," I shrug. Although "Alone With You" makes me remember how scared I feel, it makes me think of Brittany. And thinking of Brittany makes me happy.
I try to ignore Quinn's burning eyes on me as I tuck the corner of the sheets under the mattress.
"Whatever," she mumbles. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asks.
"With what? Puck coming?"
"No, with leaving your room for Puck."
"Yeah," I smirk. "I'm probably gonna sneak in the window for a quickie with him tonight," I joke.
Quinn rolls her eyes.
I used to hook up with Puck for fun, you know, before Quinn and him had begun. It was never with emotions, though, because I like girls. But I never felt bad because I knew he was just doing it for fun, too.
"He could be good for you," I tell her. Quinn nods. We've had this discussion a lot. She knows I like Puck for her. I think her announcement was more for Rachel. She supports Quinn with Puck, but she always thought Puck was way to immature for Quinn. In reality, Quinn was too mature to Puck. We were sixteen. We were supposed to be immature. I mean, after they got pregnant together, that obviously changed the dynamic, but still.
I grab a small bag and start to toss sweats in it. Quinn takes a seat on my freshly made bed.
"So you want to tell me what's going on?" She finally asks.
"What?" I straighten up.
"You come to New York to pursue your dreams, and then you just stop performing. Rachel and I spend our entire freshman year trying to get you back on stage. And then today, just like that, you decide in a split second yeah, you know what, performing sounds cool. I'll try that," Quinn imitates me.
I try to hide my smile. I love when Quinn makes fun of me.
"Seriously," Quinn says in a more grave tone. "What happened?"
I shrug a little.
"How'd she do it?" Quinn asks. My heart stops for a long second as I realize what Quinn's saying. But it quickly starts up again when I know Quinn really doesn't know know.
When I don't answer again, she starts up again. "Even at lunch you totally lightened up when she showed up."
"You know how I am with new people," I shrug. I'm never a total bitch to people I don't know completely well.
"Yeah, new people you like." True.
"I don't know," I tell her, trying to explain myself as quickly as I can. "When we were talking about Finn, Brittany told Rachel to do what makes her happy. Even if it's only temporary. And performing makes me happy. Even if it may not be my future, if it makes me happy for a few minutes, then, yeah," I shrug.
Quinn gives me the softest smile I've seen her give anyone in awhile.
"Yeah," she agrees. I stand up with my bag on my arm.
"I better get going," she says as she stands with me.
"Have fun tonight," I say as I give Quinn a hug. "Tell Puck I say hi."
"I will," she promises. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks.
"Mhm."
"And thank you," Quinn says as we exit my room. "You know, for giving me the place alone."
I smile and nod. I know she's grateful, but I feel like I should be the one thanking her. Thanks to Puck's little visit, I get a perfect excuse to see Brittany all night. And thanks to Rachel, I'll get to stay in Brittany's bed. I may be a cuddler, but I am definitely not a kicker.
XxxxxxxxxxxX
After Rachel, Brittany, and I get back from dinner, we flop down on the couch.
"Ugh," Rachel moans as she holds her belly. She ate her whole burrito, a first for her. Brittany lets out a cute giggle.
"It wasn't even that much food," I roll my eyes.
We sit on the couch quietly for a few minutes, digesting our mexican food. Dinner was nice. We filled Brittany in on Puck and Quinn and it turns out Rachel isn't as skeptical as I had expected her to be. Honestly though, I just think she doesn't want to judge Puck because she doesn't want to offend anyone and end up having people saying something bad about Finn. I'm sure she knows if we weren't supportive of Puck how much it could hurt Quinn, just like it would hurt her if we hated Finn.
Rachel's phone must have vibrated because she pulls it out of her skinny jeans and smiles at what I assume is a text message.
"What he say?" I ask, knowing only Finn could make her smile like that.
"He wants to get ice cream," she smiles without looking up from her phone.
"You won't be able to eat it!" Brittany says. I stifle a giggle as Rachel remembers how full she is.
"Go," I tell her. Rachel hesitantly nods.
"Yeah," she says. "Okay," she tries to convince herself.
Rachel smiles as she hops up and heads to her room. Our eyes follow Rachel into her room and we hear a few things shuffling around. She finally comes out with her purse.
"Don't stay out too late," I joke. "Ten o'clock, missy." Brittany giggles.
"It's already nine," she rolls her eyes. Brittany giggles a little more. "Bye guys," she smiles as she closes the door behind her.
"You two are funny," Brittany smiles.
"Eh," I shrug. "One of us more than the other," I joke. She laughs and stands up.
"Where are you going?" I ask as she starts walking away from the couch.
"I kind of want some ice cream now," she shrugs. "You want some?"
"Duh." I jump off the couch and follow Brittany into the kitchen. She's already opening up the freezer and pulling out vanilla and mint chocolate chip ice cream. She walks over to a pantry and instead of pulling out what I expect to be bowls, she pulls out chocolate sauce and sprinkles. Then she grabs whipped cream and cherries from the fridge.
She turns around to see my smiling face and she raises an eyebrow.
"What?" she asks.
"I haven't made an ice cream sundae since, like, middle school," I laugh. Brittany's eyes widen. Then she just shakes her head and turns back around to grab bowls and spoons.
"Vanilla or mint?" she asks. I stare at them for awhile.
"I love mint chocolate chip, but I think I want vanilla tonight. I want to put the toppings on," I tell her. She smiles and begins scooping me the vanilla. She slides the bowl over to me so I can start putting the syrup, sprinkles, whipped cream, and cherry on top.
"I get mint chocolate chip with the toppings," she grins proudly, forcing a chuckle out of me. Brittany finishes making her ice cream, completely covered in whipped cream, and we put all the toppings away.
"Come on," she smiles as she walks towards her room. I follow her there and she plops down on the bed.
"O.C.?" She asks as she grabs her laptop.
"Yeah," I smile. I like that we have a thing, even if it is just a TV show.
She puts her laptop on the middle of the bed and I can't help but smile. She has a TV with a DVD player in her room. Watching on the laptop gives us an excuse to sit closer together, trying to get the best view on the tiny screen.
"So did you think about what song you were gonna sing yet?" she asks as she loads the disc.
"Nah, not really," I say as I swallow a spoonful. "I'll figure it out," I shrug, trying to stay calm.
Honestly, thinking about performing is making me pretty nervous.
"Are you nervous?" she asks, almost on cue.
"It's just been awhile," I say after a thoughtful pause.
"I get nervous," she confesses. "It's normal."
"You get nervous?" I ask, surprised. I never really got nervous in high school. I mean, sure, before the bigger competitions I did. But it was more a collective type of nerves. Like I was nervous for all of us, not necessarily me.
"All the time!" She says. "Before I go on stage. Always. They don't go away until a few seconds into the performance. Then I kind of get lost in it, and I'm fine. The hard part isn't the actual performance, it's the hours building up to it," she says. "Building up the courage to fight the nerves and actually get on the stage."
I let out a deep breath as I stare at Brittany's blue eyes. "Yeah," I smile. "You're right."
Brittany just shrugs, like her words were pointless. But they weren't. They were exactly what I needed to here.
Brittany, a girl who looked more confident than anyone on that stage, was nervous. And she was the most talented one up there. So maybe it's okay if I'm nervous, too.
"I can't wait for it," she smiles. "You're gonna be amazing."
"Start the show," I roll my eyes. Brittany giggles as she scoots closer to me, eliciting a small shiver down my spine. She presses play and leans her back against the backboard.
"I'm so tired," she says while the theme song plays.
"Somebody woke me up this morning," I joke.
"Yeah, at like ten o'clock," she rolls her eyes. "I was up at seven."
"For what?" I ask.
"I was practicing," she shrugs.
"So dedicated," I feign a dreamy voice. She elbows me as we fall silent and begin watching the show.
Some romantic scene leads to a hot make out session between Ryan and Marissa aka Mischa Barton. About halfway through the scene, and halfway done my ice cream, Brittany looks over to me.
"Have you ever been in love?" She asks.
My heart stops a little. Something about Brittany's soft expression makes it start again and calms me down.
"No," I say honestly. "Have you?" I'm almost nervous to hear the answer, I don't know why.
"Puppy love? Yeah, I think so. But real love? No," she sighs. "I mean, I thought I was in love at the time, but looking back some stuff just doesn't feel right."
Brittany almost looks sad, but I'm pretty positive that's not the emotion she's feeling.
I'm about to ask if she's okay when she takes a spoonful of her ice cream and starts talking again.
"Then how did you know?" She asks. "How did you know love was scary?"
"Hm?" I ask, confused on what she's talking about.
"When Rachel was upset, about Finn, she said love is scary. And you said 'I know'," she recalls.
"Oh," I remember. How did I know? Because that's how I feel right now. "I was just saying that," I lie with a shrug.
"Oh," she says with a hint of disappointment.
We both start watching the show again as we enjoy what's left of our ice cream. A pang of guilt hits me.
"I mean, I've felt it before," I admit. "Not love, but the feeling when you think you could fall in love. I think it's pretty similar, knowing you could get hurt. So I said I know."
Brittany smiles at me, I think at my honesty.
"That part is scary," she agrees.
I take my last spoonful of ice cream and lean over to put it on the bedside table.
"But it's not just scary," Brittany says in a soft voice. "Its one of the greatest feelings in the world. A little fear just happens to come with it," she shrugs.
Brittany takes her last spoonful of ice cream and leans across my body to place her bowl on the table next to mine. My stomach swells as her stomach rests on mine.
"Sorry," she mutters as she starts to pull her body off of mine.
"It's okay," I breath. Part of me wants to hold her down so our bodies are always against each other like this.
She finally sits up and puts her head back against the backboard. I lean back too. Brittany's leg moves over the inch to close the gap between us. Her soft skin radiates heat against me.
"It's like stage fright," she shrugs. "Getting over the fear is the hard part."
I start to look at Brittany, staring intently at the screen.
She says such simple things. Not simple, straightforward. It's incredibly refreshing to hear someone be so honest and forward about everything. And what she says, it resonates with me. Its on of the greatest feelings in the world. A little fear just happens to come with it. She's so right. The feeling I'm getting, staring at her, it's amazing. And if fear has to be apart of that, then maybe that's the price to pay. Just like stage fright, I have to get over it.
Brittany's eyes flicker over to me as she sees me staring. As she turns her head towards me I can't help but giggle.
"What?" she asks with her perfect smile.
"You have a little something," I point to some chocolate syrup running from her upper chin to her lip.
Brittany lets her tongue slip out through her teeth as she glides it over her bottom lip. My eyes follow her tongue. She looks up at me expectantly.
"Nope," I giggle. "Still there."
She tries again, pushing down a little harder.
"Here," I say as I lick my thumb. I quickly sit up and get closer to Brittany. My heart starts pounding as my hand approaches her face. I gently press down on Brittany's chin with my thumb. I slowly slide it onto her lip and a giant chill hits my spine. Her lips are so soft and I can't help but think about kissing her. I hadn't realized how much I really wanted to kiss her again until right now. I slowly pull my thumb off her lip as she looks up at me, both of us seemingly breathless.
"Got it," I mutter.
Brittany's lips crash into mine and my body shudders as my breath is taken away from me. Butterflies bang against my chest, begging to get out. Her lips start to close tighter around mine when she quickly pulls them away.
"I-I," she starts to say. I can hear her shaking in her breathless attempt to talk. "I didn't mean- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," she manages to say.
I try so hard to tell her it's okay but I can't manage to even move my mouth. I just stare. My heart is beating so fast and hard that I can feel it all through my body. I'm shaking, too. Even my insides.
"I'm sorry," she stutters again. Her voice is so soft and weak. "You know, not a lot of guys around at school, sometimes- I-"
My hand shoots up to the back of Brittany's neck as I pull her lips back onto mine. I don't think about what she's thinking, how she's feeling, if she wants to, or if she liked it. I forget about the fear. All of it. I go with my feeling. And hope. That's all I can do.
Brittany's lips crash against mine and after two long seconds I feel her body relax as she kisses me back. The butterflies never left, but now they intensify. Her lips melt against mine as she lets out a soft "hm." My body pulses. An electric current runs through me.
I don't want the kiss to end. Ever. But part of the reason is because I don't want to deal with her not being okay with this. A million questions start shooting through my head. The fear. It's back. The fear I need to get rid of shoots through me.
Brittany's hand finds it's way to my cheek, pulling our lips closer together and eradicating the fear and any questions I had. Rightly or wrongly, I decide Brittany wants to kiss me. I feel that she wants to kiss me.
The chills she's giving me take over as I push my lips harder into Brittany.
To prove I'm not imagining Brittany's feelings, I feel the blonde's lips form into a smile against mine. I can't help but mimic her smile as I kiss her back, giving me the most unbelievable feeling I swore people only dreamt of.
XxxxxxxxxxxX
Hi guys! Apologizing in advance for cutting you off there!
Bad news! I leave for vacation on friday until the 29th! If we are lucky, I will be able to update ONE more time by friday but I don't know how likely that is because of work. I PROMISE I will definitely make it up to you all when I return!
Thanks again for all of your support and reviews! Xoxo
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