09: Fairy Tales- Steve/Jane

Fairy Tale AU: Steve, a wandering knight, happens upon a strange sight in the woods.

Sir Steve was having an off week. There no dragons to slay, no kingdoms to save, not even a cursed princess to kiss awake. Not that he wanted to do the kissing thing. There were consent issues involved that most modern knights hoped to avoid, and the ones who were okay with it typically didn't get that Happily Ever After.

Instead of performing heroic feats worthy of his title, Sir Steve had spent the last few days sketching birds in the glen. Many years ago, when he was nothing but a scrawny farm boy, this used to be his only release from the townsfolk and their mockery. Someone like him, who could barely push a plow without getting winded, didn't deserve respect in their eyes. Then one day, he saved a traveling wizard from a mountain lion, nearly getting himself killed in the process. Out of gratitude, and sensing within Steve the 'will of a hero', the wizard blessed him with the strength of fifty men. Now he was a knight with nothing to do. Some might believe he was so powerful, he'd already purged the world of evil, but Steve knew that wasn't the case. No matter how hard you stomped it out, evil always rose again.

Now, if he could just find it.

He finished drawing a Norwegian Blue, whose plumage was not nearly as beautiful as people said. Putting his paper and pens away, he spotted something odd across the river. It was a woman, clad in a plain brown dress, seated on a boulder with a book in her hands. A massive broadsword was propped up on the rock wall beside her. Though she wasn't standing, he could tell she'd have maybe an inch on the weapon at her full height. She glanced up, perhaps sensing she was being watched and waved at Steve.

"Good morning, Sir Knight!" she said.

Steve waved back awkwardly. He felt five feet tall again. "Good morning. Ah… my name's Steve.

"Jane."

"Nice to meet you... do you mind if I ask what you're doing?"

She put down her book and jerked her thumb at a cave entrance several feet away. "See that cave? A troll lives in there that's been threatening my village. He wants to take me as his bride since I'm the town leader's niece."

"And you're letting him?"

Jane snorted. "Yeah right. I'm waiting out here so I can stab him through the heart."

Steve looked again at her sword. It was in its sheath so he couldn't tell what it was made of or how sharp it was. "Have you had a lot of practice with that thing?"

"Of course," she said, "I swung it a few times after I bought it yesterday. I can handle this."

...no.

"How about I come over there and give you a hand?" Steve asked. He pulled off his heavier armor and undid his shoes. "Make it a little easier on you."

"I'm good, thanks," she said. "He's slow. Takes him an hour just to hobble his way to my village."

"He's still really strong. Trust me on this. I've fought a lot of trolls in my time."

Steve swam across, making it to the other side in record time. Jane glanced furtively at her sword several times. "Look, thanks for the offer, but I know how this works and I'm not looking to fall into the arms of the first knight I see all because-"

"Oh no, I don't mean it like that," said Steve. "I just … without offense, you don't look like someone who fights trolls on the regular."

"So?" she put her hands on her hips. "It can't be that hard."

"It's very hard actually."

"You sound like my uncle. He always says I'm too reckless."

Steve would've remarked that her uncle was probably right, but hadn't he been told the same thing by everyone he ever fought with? Maybe there was a reason they'd met today. "How about I just stand back and watch? I'll only step in if you need me to."

Jane folded her arms. "As in, the second the troll comes out, you're going to push me out of the way so you'll be the big strong hero and I'll be the swooning damsel you can carry off on your white horse into the sunset."

Steve blinked. "I was just thinking the first part, but-"

"Thank you, but your services will not be required." Inside the cave, there came a growl as the ground shook beneath their feet. Jane took up her sword, nearly losing her balance as she struggled to lift it. "Now back up. This guy is mine."

The troll emerged from his cave. Ten feet tall and wide as a house. His grayish bald head turned this way and that. It grumbled something in its gravelly language. Steve had only picked up a bit of Trollish in his travels, but it sounded like he was hungry. With trembling arms, Jane lowered the sword.

"Wow… he's a lot bigger up close," she said. The troll grabbed a nearby tree and uprooted it with one hand. He scratched his back and then tossed it aside. It flew over the horizon. Jane glanced at Steve before sighing and handing him the sword. "Fine."

Twenty minutes later, with the troll dead at the bottom of the river, Jane tended to Steve's wounds. "That's a beautiful sword, by the way. You must've spent a fortune on it."

"I got it specially made to kill trolls," she said, rubbing a salve on his shoulder. "At least now I know it works."

"Tell you what, how about I teach you how to use it? Then next time, you can kill the troll yourself."

"Thanks," Jane said. She finished cleaning him up and they sat in the grass, watching the water flow. "I'm still not marrying you, but maybe we can go get a drink sometime."

Steve placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed gently. "Sounds good to me."