A/N: Oh no! Will Harry shout at Remus? Will Remus cry like a little girl? Will Hermione twig that she's in a house with three gay men? Will Mrs. Weasley go so mad with worry that she actually hexes somebody? Let's find out, shall we?
Warning: Remus would like to warn you that magic is not real, and not to attempt to find Platform 9 3/4 by running into your neighbour's brick wall. Tomo has knocked herself unconscious more than once attempting this.
Disclaimer: Remus would also like to say that all characters and settings belong to JKR herself.
Dedication: To Melita. YOUR TURN TO WATCH THE KIDS. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO TRUST MATTHEW WITH THEM, ESPECIALLY AFTER FRIDAY! XD wuvv. x3
Another note: I dislike Tonks rather a lot, but I understand why Remus would turn to her, especially with the background I'm writing him. And Remus would feel so very guilty, every second of every day. But it's what Sirius wanted, to keep his love safe, so Remus is going along with it. Sirius may be the whipped one, but Remus loves him too much to refuse him this. They're so heartbreakingly sweet. x/3
More noteage: I've been to the hospital recently, and a weird pain thing I've had in my ribs getting worse and worse lately is apparently Costachondritis, a fairly common but serious disorder, which pretty much boils down to the cartilage in my ribs being inflamed. I'm on painkillers all the time and they're helping, but certain movements can hurt it, and typing for long periods of time is one. It doesn't hurt too much, but it still means my writing may suffer, chapters may get shorter, and be a lot further apart. I'm really sorry. Apparently this can last between a few months and forever, though I'm pretty much hoping for the few months option. :(
Another note, because I like the sound of my own voice. Or whatever: In the skipped bit between Remus and Harry re-entering the dining room, and Harry going to bed in Sirius' room, just imagine everything went the way it did in the book. Whatever way that was. (My copy of DH is at my mum's house, and I'm at my dad's right now.) I want to keep this story close to canon, but not stuck to it like glue. This is pretty much canon IF...
OMG do I EVER shut up?: Yes, the 'incident' Sirius refers to is the one from the books. I figure it'd be a very hard time for the two of them, Sirius wouldn't have much time to write, lots of hating, and then crazy kinky makeup sex. Oh, and for those who weren't sure last chapter, when Hermione said "Pr-Remus is back!" she means Remus of course. Still used to Professor Lupin, or something. I dunno. This is another short chapter, just because I felt like that would be a sweet ending. I needed something nice and fuzzy right around now. Bad things coming up next chapter; Ron and Harry have a talk, Hermione reminds us sharply of canon, and Peter's slipping away. I want to document his decline as well, not just have this be a totally fluffy-bunny romance story. ANYWAYITALKWAYTOOMUCHLET'SJUSTREADABOUTALLTHEGAYSEXXOR.
The Super Duper Mega Secret Diary Of Sirius Orion Black
Harry hurried downstairs, to find a smiling Remus in the dining room. His fists clenched.
"Remus, could I talk to you for another second?" He asked as politely as he could muster.
Remus blinked in shock. "Sure Harry, no problem." They left together, Harry barely containing his anger.
"Why did you move on so fast?" He near-shouted as soon as they were alone. Remus blinked.
"What?"
"Sirius died, and a year later, you're shacking up with Tonks! So much for undying love!"
Remus sighed and sat down, running a hand through his hair. "Harry. This is not as simple as it seems. First you have to consider the fact that I hated Sirius for thirteen years. We were a couple for five years, not all of them as good as the first, and he was in jail for thirteen, for killing our best friends. I hated him for betraying me, for betraying Lily and James, for betraying Peter, for betraying you. She was only young then, but Dora looked after me, whenever she could. We were fairly close friends. I told Sirius this when he came back, and he understood. He gave me a letter to be opened if he died young, which told me to let Tonks look after me. As little as I wanted to, I did, and it's good. I don't love her the way I loved Sirius, I don't think I'll ever love anyone like that again, but I do love her, and she understands my past with Sirius, and that I'll probably never be able to feel like that again. She loves me a lot more than I love her, which breaks my heart, but what we have is good." He looked wearily at Harry. "I know it seems like betrayal, and that's what it felt like at first, but it's what Sirius wanted. And without Tonks, I don't know if I would be coping at all."
Harry eyed him. "You know, Sirius really loved you."
Remus nodded sadly. "I've read the diary. Things were different after Azkaban. We both changed, separate from each other. By the time we left Hogwarts and got a flat together, we were more like one person than two, but the war made everyone suspicious, it got into everyone's heart and soul. We turned against each other, fought constantly. The number of times I showed up drunk at Lily and James' house is too high to count anymore, while often Sirius would drown his sorrows using... different methods." A flash of something angry appeared in Remus' oddly gold eyes.
"Different methods?" Harry asked cautiously.
"He would go to clubs, and at first he just flirted and danced and got drunk. As our arguments got worse and worse though, he started... going home with other people." Remus' eyes were downcast, clearly lost in painful memories.
"Oh." Harry said, not knowing what else to say.
"Only women though." Remus went on. "He said right at the start that he could do things with women, because it never meant anything. He only ever went home with women. That's about all that kept me hoping for us by the end, that I still meant something to him, when they didn't. Straight after this was thirteen years of complete hatred and regret on my part, and guilt and shame on his. Sometimes I think young love is the strongest because it's the purest, the least tainted. Sirius and I were both tainted, we were never that close again."
Harry didn't know what to say, so he said nothing, and in the end, Remus looked up and smiled grimly. "I'm sorry for being such a downer, but you brought back some painful memories. Things weren't all good in the diary days, anyway. Sirius never did write about any of the arguments we had... more silly ones really, though they didn't seem so at the time. In sixth year, he almost forgot my birthday, and once in fifth year I woke him up by popping a balloon of water over his head." Remus smiled. "There wasn't even any real reason, those were just the kind of things we did in those days. It will always be the happiest time of my life."
Harry nodded sadly. Remus gave him a weary smile.
"Well, I suspect that Ron and Hermione are at least rather curious about what we're discussing, we should probably go back. Did you tell them?"
Harry shook his head. "I didn't really think I should."
Remus nodded. "Well Hermione already knows, she walked in on us once, the summer before your fifth year, when she and Ron were staying here. I take it she doesn't know about you and Ron either?"
Harry shook his head again. "I don't know about me and Ron, really. We... we kissed... but... I'm not gay... I don't think I am... I mean...I ... Ron."
Remus patted his shoulder gently. "You'll figure it out. Whatever happens, you have my support. You can always talk to me."
"But if you're gay-" Harry blinked.
"I'm bisexual, actually." Remus interrupted. "There wasn't really a term for it then, you were either straight or a poofter. Since I had a boyfriend, I fit into the second category." He smiled.
"Right." Harry nodded, and they re-entered the dining room, where Ron and Hermione were waiting.
"What were you talking about?" Hermione asked, looking up from the tea she was making.
"Sirius." Remus smiled pleasantly, and nothing more needed to be said.
000
That evening, Harry, Ron, and Hermione decided they might as well take advantage of the multiple rooms. Hermione was first to bed, heading for the room she had shared with Ginny two years ago, then Harry announced he was going to sleep in Sirius' room.
"I'll come too." Ron squeezed his hand. They hadn't mentioned what had happened yet, merely acknowledged it through simple touches, tender glances across the room.
"No, I want to be alone." Harry squeezed back, and kissed Ron on the cheek. "There's something I'm trying to figure out." He rested his head on Ron's shoulder, taking a brief moment to marvel at how good it was.
"Then let me help." Ron said tenderly. Harry shook his head.
"I have to figure this out alone." He kissed Ron again, on the neck this time. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Ron smiled, kissing Harry's hair. "When you're ready, I'll be there."
"Thanks." Harry kissed Ron's voice box, then stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"You too." Ron stood up as well, kissing Harry sweetly, before the dark haired boy headed upstairs.
Once he was alone, locked in his godfather's room, Harry curled himself between the blankets and took out the diary once more. He figured it couldn't hurt to read a bit more of his godfather's history before bed.
February 24, Sixth year
The past month has been... not so good. Don't get me wrong, it's been great pulling pranks with James and hanging out with Pete and Lily, and just having Rem... just being with him makes me happier than I could ever hope to be without him. He's like a gigantic pie full of happiness.
But... lately he's been kind of distant. No, that's wrong. We just haven't spent as much time together, I guess. He spends so much time studying, even though we don't have NEWTS until next year, and I've just been busy doing the usual stuff. It's depressing.
Oh! Something good did happen though. We met Amanda, a lesbian in Hufflepuff. She, her girlfriend, and a few friends are apparently trying to start a gay support group, and since we're the only 'out' couple in the school she was wondering if we could help. We're going with her to discuss it with Dumbledore tomorrow, which... should be interesting. According to Amanda's girlfriend, Jennifer, there have been a few whispers about him, though I won't say more.
Jamie and I are planning a big prank. We found a spell that paints things different colours, so we're going to see if we can't paint the whole school in rainbows. It'd brighten the place up, don't you think?
Mwahahaha.
March 7, Sixth year
Operation Paint The School Red (Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet) went off without a hitch. Filch is still scrubbing it off in places. Brilliant.
We timed it to coincide with the announcement of the official Hogwarts Gay And Lesbian Alliance club's grand opening. With weekly meetings and whatnot, Rem and I have been getting closer, and we spend a lot more time together now. It's surprising at these meetings how many people we inspire. So many of the members tell us how great it's been for them, that we're out there, it gives them courage to accept who they are. I really enjoy the HGALA meetings, it's basically a big party, only without music and dancing and stuff. Oddly, Dumbledore hasn't missed a meeting. Other professors pop in, and some people bring friends and whatnot, but Dumbledore's there every week.
Hahahaha. Wonder how mum would take this.
Actually, if she had heard, she would have pulled Reg out by now.
Hmmm.
I miss him some times. Like I've said, he may be an annoying evil Slytherin, but he's still my kid brother. I worry about him occasionally.
Oh and Remus, since I know you'll be reading this sometime.
TWEAK!
You owe me five galleons, three sickles, and a shag, please.
Tip your bowler hat to THIS.
Love yoooou.
March 14, sixth year
You and your cupcake.
We had Remus' birthday party yesterday. It was good times. I gave him a book on Troll Wars and a shag. He loved it.
Oh, you know you did.
YOU CAN DENY ALL YOU LIKE BUT I KNOW YOU WEREN'T MOANING IN HORROR.
Aww I love your long words. They're so flamboyant. See, I can say long things too.
Shut upppp.
June 22, sixth year
It's sooooooo hoooot.
No, not the weather, silly, my boyfriend.
No, that doesn't mean you're an it.
I did something stupid two months ago. I don't want to talk about it. Neither does Rem. We only just got past it. Snivellus is still mad. Other than that things have been about the same. Remus, studying, meetings, Remus, homework, pranks, Remus, detention, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, cupcake pie.
Yeah, you are my cupcake pie.
July 27, sixth year
Holy fuck on a stick, where on earth did the year go?
Exams just finished, Remus is busy sleeping off all the all nighters he pulled and stuff, poor love.
Aww. I touched his forehead and he told me to fuck off.
Feel the love? I do.
August 1, HOLIDAYS AGAIN
We're on the train! Train train trainy train. CHOOO CHOOO.
No, I will not shut up with the train noises, James. Stop reading over my shoulder.
Awwww Remus is asleep on my lap. Oh shit, Lily just came in.
She and Pete broke up last month, which has made James pretty happy, but neither of them so much. Lily spends most evenings talking to Remus and crying. One time she even slept in his bed, which meant I had to sleep in my own bed, which was lonely. Pete's started drinking a lot and disappears all the time. He did disappear all the time before Lily, but this is... different. He barely even talks to us anymore. It's... worrying.
James has actually been really sympathetic to both. He's been a total gentleman to Lily, giving her reassurance and comfort when it's appropriate, backing off when it's not, which has thrown her for a loop, and he goes drinking with Pete a lot of the time, which is good I guess. 'Least they're still having mate time.
Anyway yeah, Lily came in, and left straight away. Probably looking for Remus. But as I said, he's asleep with his head on my lap. Awww. What a sweetie.
Man train rides are boring. Naughts and Crosses, Jamie me boy?
XOX
XO
O X
I win. HA HA. Shame, four eyes.
OW NO HITTING YOU'LL WAKE REMUS!
August 2, hols
It's really nice being back at Rem's house. We get a lot of us time. Today his dad took me grocery shopping, muggle style. Much mayhem caused by all.
Remus is asleep in the garden. He was watering the roses and then I came and cuddled him until he fell asleep. Yep.
Now he's asleep in the garden.
I'm so bored.
I'm so bored I'm considering doing my holiday homework.
Naaaaaah.
Seriously, how weird would it be if I was like that?
I think I'll floo-call Jamers...
August 8, hols
Holidays are so boring when Remus is asleep.
We're gonna stay at James' house for a couple of days starting this afternoon. It's like six AM, I don't know why I'm awake. If I could get up this early during school, I'd be set.
Anyway, Pete's coming too and we're gonna throw him a seventeenth birthday he'll never forget.
Rem, stop glaring at me.
Fuck you?
Okay.
Hee hee hee.
August 8, evenninig hee
Woah I'm runk.
HA HA Im runk.
Remus says I definitly am runk.
Hes runk too.
So is evvyone!
WERE ALL RUNK!
August 9, hols
I sure was runk last night.
Heh. Yeah, we all got trashed, since Pete's now a man.
How is that fair? He's older than I am even! My birthday's in three months! Jamie's is in five, and my Remuslove isn't a man for seven months, heh heh heh.
I know a secret though.
Remus already made me a man.
And I made him a woman.
OW! THAT BLOODY HURT!
Bitch hit me.
OW!
