CHAPTER NINE
The next day…
"I miss you too." Deacon smiled, looking at his feet as he talked to Stacey on the phone. "I don't think you know…but go on thinkin' that…alright I'll talk to you later…you too…bye."
Deacon pushed his cell phone into his pocket and headed back into the lobby. He stopped short, listening to someone giving orders to a number of roadies. "Hey Bill, we're cancellin'? Why?"
"You haven't heard? Rayna and the girls flew back to Nashville early this morning, her Dad's in the hospital. Guess it must be pretty bad." Bill replied, breaking conversation to run after someone mishandling equipment.
Deacon ran his hands through his hair, spinning on his heel. Reflexively he pulled his cell phone out; fumbling to find the number he wanted. He let his fingers hover over the number, fighting the tug-of-war-like play of emotions that stopped him hitting the call button. Would she even want to hear from him? Was she alright? Hell, should he even be calling her? Deacon swore, shaking his head as he stared at the lit up screen. Before he could talk himself round for the fourth time he'd dialled Rayna's number.
- NASHVILLE -
"Deacon, the show is five hours away we're not takin' a break." Juliette shot, glaring at him as he pulled her away from the band, stepping to centre stage.
"You know you're askin' a hell of a lot from all these people…I don't see why you wouldn't just bring in another act or….you know, cancel the damn thing."
"Why should I have to cancel?"
"Expanding your set, yellin' at your band and tryin' to get somethin' half decent together this close to show time is crazy-"
"-It's not crazy and I don't think I'm expectin' too much askin' y'all to get on board." Juliette countered, moving her microphone from one hand to another.
"This is stupid." He breathed.
"You wanna know what stupid is? Stupid is you takin' out on me whatever is goin' on with you at the moment." Juliette warned, looking at him knowingly.
"Me?! How does anythin' about me have anythin' to do with this? I'm not the one expandin-"
"-Are you gonna make me spell it out?" She hissed, stepping closer to him. "You honestly can't see it?"
"Go on then Juliette, don't let me stop you now…What am I takin' out on you?"
"Rayna. You're angry because you weren't her go to guy….She didn't tell you about her Dad and now you're stuck on wonderin' why…you're takin' it out on me, this…on everything...we all know that she's got her Dad-"
"-Angry? Rayna…this…I haven't-" He replied furiously, clutching the neck of the guitar tightly as he changed tracks. "I don't see you doin' anythin' to help her out. You're usin' her family emergency to boost your own ego for cryin' out loud."
"You want me to cancel my show for her?" Juliette exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.
"This isn't just your show, remember? You wouldn't even have this show without each other." He spat.
"Deacon, she doesn't need our help! She would have asked."
"She shouldn't have to."
"For someone who was claimin' to be uninvolved." Juliette muttered, gesturing at him as she grimaced. "You seem pretty involved to me."
Deacon shot her a look, warning her to back off. "I care Juliette, that's all."
"Right now you're doin' a lot more than carin'."
"We're not talkin' about this anymore."
Juliette exhaled, wiping her face before she looked out at the empty arena. "I can't cancel the show, I won't."
"Fine." He seethed. "But it doesn't mean I have to like doin' this, not tonight."
"Seriously?" She spat, watching him walk backwards. "Real mature."
"Say's you who can't even think about cancelling one damn show."
Juliette swore under her breath, angry that he wouldn't own his part in this argument. His words were denying every challenge she put to him about Rayna, but his attitude was giving his feelings away.
"For the record, this crazy." He countered, gesturing around the stage. "Has nothin' to do with me…it's all on you."
Deacon disregarded her verbal attack and pulled out his cell phone. Calling his voicemail he turned around, tuning out Juliette as she talked to the band. He swore when he heard the monotone voice on the other end of the line. You have no new messages.
- NASHVILLE -
"Thanks." He mumbled appreciatively, looking at Juliette.
"I dunno why you're thankin' me…I didn't cancel my show." She shrugged, looking at him through her dressing room mirror as she picked up a paper cup with coffee in it.
"You know what I mean." He replied, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.
Deacon had been less than enthusiastic about Juliette's supposed bright idea of expanding the set so she could have a full show. The blow up with Juliette at sound check had only intensified his aversion to the idea. It had put him on edge, unwittingly fixing him with an agitated disposition. He couldn't concentrate; all of his thoughts were firmly stuck on Rayna. He hated that he didn't know if she was ok. He hated that he wasn't close to her. So caught up in his on frustrations, Deacon had been taken by surprise when Juliette abruptly brought the show to a close 6 songs away from the agreed full setlist. She had simply thanked the arena of screaming people and walked off the stage, leaving her band open mouthed and in shock. Deacon knew that she would deny having done this to show that she cared, or done this for him, but he was grateful all the same.
"Why are you still here anyway?" Juliette probed, spinning around on her seat to face him.
"Hmm?"
"Oh please, you should know better than anyone that you're not waitin' till tomorrow to catch a plane."
"Juliette-" He started, putting his cell phone to his ear.
"-Go, we both know you're goin' back to Nashville tonight." Juliette smirked, taking a sip of her coffee as she watched his facial expression soften when he listened to a voice message. Distracted, Deacon smiled weakly and began walking backwards towards the dressing room door. "Say hi for me when you see her."
"Say hi to who?"
"To Rayna…" She said flatly; offended that he didn't get her less than subtle hint the first time around. "That's who the message is from isn't it?"
- NASHVILLE -
Anxiously pacing back and forth in the hospital corridor, Deacon cracked his knuckles. He had been here for a good half hour, fighting a vicious circle as he kept his eyes fixed on curtains that stood dutifully around Lamar's hospital bed. He would rehearse what he wanted to say, gather enough courage to go inside and then find himself taking a walk down the hallway in the opposite direction. The first time he'd actually seen Rayna since the other night had been at the sound check yesterday. He and Rayna hadn't actually talked since the poolside incident; admittedly he didn't even know where to start when it came to it. Judging by Rayna's distance, he assumed she felt the same. They were both well versed in pulling the covers up over anything that saw them crossing the comfortable line they'd drawn these past twelve years, this being no exception. When he'd heard about Lamar he'd fought the urge to get on the first flight back to Nashville. Not knowing how Rayna would react if he turned up unannounced, he'd settled for brewing as he waited for something, anything from her to show him that she might need him. Waiting had pulled his patience out from underneath him and his mouth had gotten him in to all sorts of trouble. He had sworn black and blue that his concern for Rayna had stemmed from the innocence of caring, but Deacon knew that Juliette saw it was so much more than that. The relief that had overcome him when he had reluctantly checked his cell phone after the show was overwhelming. Rayna's voice message had told him everything he needed, the fragility and exhaustion in her tone giving her away. A nurse passed him and asked if he was lost and he gave his excuses and kindly sent her on her way.
Deacon shook his head, impulsively pulling out his cell phone. He dialled his voicemail and followed the prompts, hitting 6 on the keypad to replay Rayna's message. Truth is I don't really know how I am at the moment...I hate this...but I don't wanna bother you with all that…I just wanted to call you and…thank you for calling me…um…I guess I'll talk to you. Deacon looked at the door again, wiping his forehead as he thought. He had two choices, to stay or to leave. Unthinkingly, he let out a heavy breath and walked forward. Who was he fooling? There was no way he was leaving.
Slowly edging into the hospital room and around the curtain, his eyes darted back and forth. Sedated, Lamar lay on a hospital bed in the middle of the room, hooked up to machines that beeped in a discordant refrain. Deacon's breath hitched when his eyes fell on Rayna who sat asleep, huddled in an armchair off to the side of the bed. He had hesitated when he'd reached out to wake her but when she had woken she had readily collapsed into his arms, release flooding through her as she held him close. He could feel her trembling as he held her so he had changed his position, pulling her tighter into himself as they moved to sit in silence, both grateful for the moment alone.
NASHVILLE –
"Thanks for the coffee." Rayna smiled, watching Deacon take a seat next to her. "Caffeine is exactly what I need right about now."
"You." He whispered, raising an eyebrow. "Could really use some sleep right about now."
"Says you...you just flew from New York...Speakin' of which how was the show? Did you Boy's N Buses it up?"
"It was interesting..." He said slowly. "And you look a hell of a lot worse than me...you need to sle-"
"-Gee thanks." She grinned, lifting her coffee cup to her mouth.
"You're welcome." He smirked.
"I'm not goin' anywhere." She replied, hiding a yawn. "I've gotta be here for Daddy and besides I promised Tandy I'd stay…you know, to help."
"You're not gonna be any help to anyone if you end up passed out on the floor." He nodded, pointing at the ground as he spoke.
"You talkin' from experience?" Rayna challenged, quickly moving to dodge his hand as he reached out to push her. Deacon missed her and she giggled, covering her mouth to stop herself from laughing.
"Hold up!"
"Shhhh!" She chuckled, hastily looking over at Lamar as she reached out to cover Deacon's mouth. "Don't you dare wake him."
Deacon pushed her hand away, holding his hands up in defeat as he assured her he'd be quiet. Rayna looked at him sceptically but he didn't mind, he was just happy that she was smiling. When he'd first arrived he had noticed a weariness clinging heavily to her features, her eyes heavy and her disposition fragile. He wanted to take it from her, these things that were causing her turmoil, and if that meant finding ways to make her smile that was what he would do.
"Well….it's nice to see someone gettin' their beauty sleep I suppose." Deacon shrugged, lifting a coffee cup up to his lips. "But then again…right now I'm pretty sure it should be you…you need it."
"Deacon."
"Rayna." He antagonised, mimicking her tone. She bit her tongue and looked the other way, hiding her smile with her hand. "He'll be ok Ray…it's gonna take a lot more than this to keep him down."
"I hope so."
"Trust me…with this, I'm talkin' from experience…All the years I've known Lamar, when he's set on somethin', he'll fight till he gets it. He ain't about to lose to this…He'll get through it because he's too damn stubborn to have it any other way." Deacon soothed, smirking as he looked over at her. "Speakin' of stubborn…Kinda sounds like someone else I know."
"Me?" She scoffed, shaking her head in disagreement. "Never."
"You, never." He replied, making a face as he nodded. "I recall many a time that you'd start an argument with people just coz you didn't like somethin'…Correction, I recall times you still get into arguments coz you don't like somethin'."
"You're makin' me out to sound like some highly strung diva." She replied, waving her hand in the air. "Hell, you're makin' me out to sound like Juliette Barnes."
"Want me to start listin' off all the times I remember? Because I will." He continued, holding his fingers up to start counting. "Oh and Juliette says to say hi by the way, she sends her-"
"Juliette?...As in Juliette Barnes?"
"Ah yeah, who else would I mean?" Deacon replied matter-of-factly, smiling as Rayna scratched her head and held a look of confusion.
"That girl confuses me I tell you...anyway, I dunno…I wouldn't say I was a diva…but I did have a mouth on me." Rayna reminisced, biting a nail as she watched a smirk fall across Deacon's face.
"Some things never change I gues-"
"-Shut up!" She laughed, smacking his arm.
Rayna leant on the arm of her chair, looking off into the distance as she mumbled absentmindedly. "Bein' here has got me thinkin'….I miss…sometimes I feel like I wish everything was different…If I'd just…I dunno."
"What'd you say?" He asked, straightening in his chair to face her.
Looking fleetingly over at him she realised he'd heard her. She ignored his question, looking at Lamar as she spoke. "I'm so tired right now I don't even know what I'm sayin'."
Deacon looked her quizzically, watching her as she ran a finger around the top of her coffee cup. "I told you that you need sleep."
"Whatever, I won't be gettin' any sleep now thanks to this." She replied, holding up her coffee cup.
They both sat in a comfortable silence, neither in a hurry to take the conversation in any particular direction.
"You really didn't have to come." She smiled weakly, pulling her knees up to her chest as she sat in the chair.
"Why didn't you call me sooner?"
"I-" She started, letting the rest of the sentence play in her head. She had tried calling him sooner; well she'd made more attempts than she could count to call him but she had always hung up after the first ring. She hadn't expected him to come but had been more than relieved to see his face when he'd woken her up. Rayna looked over at Deacon, letting him finish her sentence on his own as she sat quietly.
"There was no way I wasn't comin'…I heard somethin' in your voice…in that message that." He started, his voice cracking as he looked up at her. "…sounded like you neede…like you needed me."
"Thank you." She whispered, reaching out for his hand.
Leaning her head back against the chair, Rayna kept her eyes fixed on his. "For coming…I mean it."
Nervous, Deacon broke the contact, shaking the mood as he moved to stand. "…I should go."
"Ok." Rayna mumbled, fumbling to stand as she tried to figure out how they had gotten from a thank you to a goodbye. "Say hi to Stacey for me…hell, thank her for me for sharin' you...I really appreciate it."
Deacon smiled grimly, reality playing on his mind as he put everything back into perspective. Stacey. His girlfriend. Unwittingly, Rayna's words had been a cruel reminder that right now he was anywhere but the place he should have been, regardless of how much his insides were disagreeing with him. Looking up at Rayna he swallowed hard, clearing his throat before he spoke. "You take care Ray."
- NASHVILLE -
Knocking on Stacey's front door Deacon took a step back, briefly looking in the window to the left for any signs on movement. Stepping back to knock again, he smiled when the door flew open.
"What are you doing here?!" Stacey beamed, shock in her voice as she stood open mouthed.
"We had a travel day-" He started, stepping closer.
"-And you missed me." She finished, jumping into his arms as his lips met hers.
"Yeah I did."
"You flew all the way back to Nashville just for me?" She smiled, running her fingers through his hair as she stood comfortably in his arms. "I guess I was wrong when I said that I miss you more."
Deacon stepped away from the embrace and reached for her hands, smiling as she looked up at him curiously.
"What?" She laughed.
"Come with me." He asked, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.
"Come where with you?" Stacey questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"On the road…come with me."
