Authors note: Sorry this took so long. I'll explain at the bottom. I'm sure you all don't want to read it before you see if I've lost my touch with this story! I hope this was well worth the wait.

Important note for this chapter! I know this is the concert and Kentin comes along for this. But I am only on episode 12 so I haven't had any interaction with him to know his personality. So for my story he hasn't come back just yet and may not ever do so…. Another love interest for Lucia might be too much for me to juggle at this juncture.

As for the Deborah thing I have plans for it. I've researched her a bit so I'm confident I can keep her in character a bit better than I should be able to having not met her yet.

Disclaimer: Only Lucia is mine…

Chapter start

"A concert?" Lucia looked up at Lysander.

It had been a few weeks after the fight. Both she and Rosalya had healed up nicely enough. The bruises had faded. Sometimes though she caught Castiel staring at her neck.

She was currently sitting cross-legged on her desk during a free period. She had debated if she wanted to go and sleep but Lysander stalled her.

"Yes. I think it would be a good idea. A way to raise some money…" Lysander mumbled.

Lucia yawned slightly and stretched languidly. A concert that Lysander thought was a good idea meant one thing. A concert that Castiel thought was a bad idea. She could already catch the thread of this conversation.

"And this concerns me how? If you want me to sing or something don't bother." She grinned playfully. "Unless you want a crow."

Lysander smiled vaguely. "No that isn't it. This is to make up for the money lost during the orienting event." Here he looked at her.

Lucia held his gaze with absolutely zero shame. She and Castiel had been partners during the event. They had been doing fine collecting the items. But when it had seemed that Lysander and Nathaniel would beat them he had dragged her off the path. And then he had proceeded to get them hopelessly lost. The night had ended with Lysander coming to find Castiel sleeping on her lap and her dozing against the tree they'd sat down at.

Two good things happened after that. She had burned that horridly sexless track suit minus the shoes. They were comfortable enough. And she had pissed Amber off on double counts. Castiel had put Amber down and continued to hang with Lucia and then they had taken her glory at cheating to win the race.

"Hey don't blame me. I'm a good girl." Lucia said."

Lysander cocked a graceful brow at her. "Oh, really? Beyond the dubiousness of that statement then… when I spoke to Castiel about the idea he was quiet annoyed. The others and I thought perhaps if you spoke to him…"

"What am I, the animal trainer?" Lucia snorted. "Alright, alright. I'll go wow him with my puppy dog face."

"Good luck." He said with a small chuckle.

Lucia hopped off her desk and went to find her red headed annoyance. The halls were relatively full so she crossed off finding him in the halls. She pushed her way through the masses and wandered through the courtyard. Her eyes narrowed in small annoyance that he wasn't there either. He wouldn't be in the gym because a class was going on in there.

She found Castiel in the garden doing what she wanted.

"Lucky bastard. I wanna sleep." She grumbled as she sat by him, preparing to wake him up.

She poked his cheek a few times. Then she smacked him gently. "Little baby, wakey-wakey."

She sighed when he didn't even budge. And people called her a heavy sleeper! Waking him up was like waking the dead. It just wasn't done.

"Castiel I have a confession to make." Her voice had dropped to a near whisper, choked with some emotion. She noted he stirred faintly with it. "I… I think that I… love… Nathaniel. There I said it. I LOVE NATHANIEL!"

To her great mirth he jerked awake. His eyes were wide as he looked at her in horror. She cracked up and fell onto the ground beside him as she held her side. That alone made him melt a bit. It wasn't often that Lucia laughed a lot.

"You… I can't believe… how many times will you fall for that!" She smiled.

"Shooter! That isn't a joking thing!" He snapped in irritation. But she was too busy laughing to pay him and his wounded pride any attention.

Lucia choked on her laughter when she was rolled under him and he had her throat cupped in his calloused palm. Then she smirked, her eyes falling so she gazed at him with half lidded eyes. He was so close to breaking it wasn't funny anymore.

"Shooter those are very dangerous words coming out of your mouth. Take my advice and leave them for Melody." He warned in a low voice.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Well how else am I supposed to wake you up? And it isn't like you've put a claim in on me. I can say whatever I want." She taunted happily.

Only she could taunt and be so happy doing it, he thought violently. He kissed her fiercely just to shut her up. His tongue spread her lips easily and she parted her teeth to accept him. Lucia always accepted his kisses, regardless of her mood. It was odd how she submitted so readily sometimes.

With Castiel his passion was tied in with his happiness and also his anger. To him there was nothing better than an angry kiss. It was violent and messy and love had nothing to do with it. Suddenly as he kissed her and tangled his hand in her hair he saw a flash. Suddenly it wasn't Lucia in his arms anymore. It was… her….

Her blue eyes were filled with lust and her lips full from his kisses. Her brown hair, normally so perfectly immaculate was mussed. Unable to resist his eyes softened and he kissed the lips with slow gentleness.

Lucia tensed with the new kiss. Castiel had never been so gentle and careful, like she would break. She wasn't entirely sure she liked it. She knew however she didn't trust it. It left a bad feeling in her gut.

Annoyed now she twisted her face away. "Calm it down lover boy. I didn't come here for a kiss from you."

Castiel blinked in surprise as the image of Deborah evaporated. It left him feeling slightly sick that he could have Lucia in his arms and imagine his ex. She seemed annoyed for some reason and for a wild moment he thought he might have called her Deborah.

"Don't ever kiss me like that again, understand?" She said coolly. "I'm not one of your little birdies that'll break if you're just using me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He snapped.

Lucia was changing right before him. He half suspected some of her memories were partially surfacing. She seemed very concentrated sometimes and then others odd bits of personality he didn't associate with her burst free. This was one of those moments where she seemed almost hateful of his very touch. Even her eyes were empty, as though basic feeling for anyone was beneath her.

"What? You'd rather I tear you to shreds with my hands?" He asked, angry now. He didn't like what had happened but he had the grace to admit it shouldn't have happened. He preferred their usual kissing as well but he wouldn't be angry about it.

Her eyes went completely dull as if she was closing off from him. He wanted to shake her for it to get his Lucia back with him. "It's all I know."

Before he could respond a voice burst through their words. "O-oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were back here so…"

Lucia gasped and it was like some trance was broken. Her eyes widened and life returned to them in a wave. She wrapped her hands around his neck to pull him close, placing her lips to his ear. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Again his response was not heard as she shifted from under him. "Violette! You weren't interrupting anything. What's up?" Lucia spread her arms to accept the girls hug.

"Lysander sent me to…"

At that moment Castiel tuned her out. He focused his eyes on Lucia. She was back… gentle and cheerful and kind of not there… this was his Lucia.

Were her memories there lurking under the very thin layer of forgetfulness? An uneasy feeling stirred in him. Would he lose this Lucia to some darker, twisted human he couldn't understand? One who, from her slipups lately seemed to be very sexual and above thinking of others beyond mild curiosity that was easily shelved.

"Oh yeah! Hey numbskull."

Castiel looked at her. "What do you want? To fawn over my amazing self?" He smirked. It didn't matter to him. He would keep this Lucia somehow.

"Ha, ha, ha… no. Do the concert with Lysander. Or else I'll tell everyone where your tickle spot is."

"I don't have a tickle spot." He retorted.

She grinned. "Yeah, I know that. But they don't. Do you really want a bunch of people coming up to see if it's true?"

"Look it doesn't matter anyway. My amp is broken and I don't have the money to replace it right now." He said.

"Oh really… well that's alright. I'll pay for it." Lucia said.

"Its two hundred dollars Shooter." Castiel stood and crossed his arms.

She returned his stare with a strange look, like she was surprised he'd protest and she was again leaving. "It's just money Castiel. What's it matter? It's a rubbish thing anyway."

She sounded so like Shooter he let his annoyance go. Relief instead broke through and he smirked putting his hand on his hip. "No ones forcing you, Shooter. All those things you and Rosalya buy… you can't say you're one of those girls who think they don't need money." He teased.

She sighed and gave a small wave of her hand. "I don't. But I also know my Wifey likes seeing me in pretty things. And besides a certain redhead has been caught staring at my chest since I met him." She added innocently.

Violette looked at him and blushed a bit. Where the friendship between a quiet little mouse and someone like Shooter sprung up he'd never understand.

"Who, me? Why would I stare at something non-existent?" He returned with ease. "If I wanted to look at something small as a cutting board I'd go stand in a kitchen."

Lucia rolled her eyes at his familiar retort when she taunted his inclination to let his eyes travel her. "If you know I'm flat as a cutting board as you say… you must have been staring."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Now then, concert."

She was looking at him expectantly and he recognized the look. It was her I'm-not-dropping-this-until-I-either-have-your-man hood-or-you-go-along-with-me look.

"Yeah, fine. You'll need to find us more members though. Lysander and I are the only ones."

Violette spoke up. "Um… Armin plays the drums… and Iris is asking her Brother if she can borrow his guitar."

Lucia cocked a brow at him. "Well then?"

He bowed mockingly. "That would probably work."

"There, wasn't so hard. Come on Violette…. Oh wait a second! When should we go get the amp?"

Castiel looked at her. "I can't go with you today." He asked Violette for a piece of paper that he wrote directions on for Lucia. "Here. Even you shouldn't be able to miss it."

"Aw such faith in me." She mocked.

Later Lucia was walking through town with Alexy, her new best friend. He had an innocent charm yet at the same time a pure sass that reminded her of Rosalya. He wasn't as aggressive about making her dress up though thankfully. Rosalya had developed the habit of ripping her clothes off as soon as she entered Leigh's shop and dragging her to the changing rooms.

The last time had been a shock to the poor brothers living there. Lucia hadn't felt like being a doll since she was tired and had been snapping waspishly at the other girl. The changing rooms were tight quarters to be thrashing in though. The Brothers had been coming to see what all the noise was.

Before Leigh could knock the door had burst open to spill Lucia to the floor. Rosalya was on top of her with her hands clenched on a gray v-neck. She had been trying to tug on the resisting Lucia but to Leigh and Lysander it looked the opposite way since it had ridden up to her neck during the fall.

Lucia was telling Alexy about it now.

"See things like that never happen to me." He said with a small pout.

"Ah but you wouldn't want a girl to fall on top of you. Or have you decided to announce that Violette has turned you back?" She asked teasingly.

Alexy cuffed her gently. "As if! And besides Vi isn't too distraught about it anyway."

"And you base this great knowledge on…?"

"My charm!" He said promptly. When she just looked at him he grinned. "Oh alright. I saw her talking to that Lysander guy you hang with. Which reminds me do you think he'd tell me where he got those clothes?"

"Somehow I doubt he'd be up for getting down and dirty with a talk about fashion. But I can tell you that Leigh, his Brother probably made them."

"Hmm. Then I shall talk to Leigh! Hey, is this the place?"

Lucia glanced up to the shop he pointed out. She blinked in disbelief. Never before had she seen a tackier looking store. She had to turn a laugh into a cough.

There was a horridly neon green musical note on the door set around a connection of sheet music stickers.

"… Castiel shops here?" She muttered. "I guess this is the place…"

They went in and Lucia immediately felt horridly out of place. Though no more than Alexy with his bright blue hair and the fact he wore the total antithesis of rocker brands.

"Let's just get the amp quick. I heard there is a sale at that new boutique in the city. We could drive there." Alexy ushered her to the counter.

The man behind it was like a little Kiss wannabe. The only thing missing was the studded leather. For her whole life Lucia prayed she never understood why people wanted to paint there faces up like a dark clowns.

His voice was gravelly from too many cigarettes. He reeked of his precious cancer sticks and there was even an ash tray jammed pack with the butts. Lucia quickly did her business and bolted from the store with Alexy on her heels.

Once they were back out they laughed. They ended up having to call a taxi. Castiel had forgotten to mention his amp weighed a ton. Lucia scolded herself for not exercising more to keep her strength up.

They stopped at Leigh's store. Lysander was there with Rosalya who quickly saw their predicament. Being the gentleman he was Lysander took the amp in with more ease than they could have. He vanished into the back with it and left Lucia to stand with her two cloth obsessed friends. The two were having a hard core fashion discussion. After awhile they started looking at her.

Her red eyes shifted to the window uneasily. She used it as an excuse to edge from them, getting closer to it and the door. The looks they were both giving her were growing more obvious as they whispered together. Lucia had to force herself to not duck into a rack of clothes to try and hide.

"Wifey! You aren't going anywhere!" Rosalya said suddenly.

"Who, me?" Innocent wasn't her strong suit.

Rosalya and Alexy exchanged amused looks at her lame smile and obvious stall tactic.

"Yes, you. With the help of Alexy I've realized I haven't out enough color into your wardrobe." Rosalya stated.

Lucia saw the thread and tried to avoid it. At first she hadn't minded Rosalya clothing her but lately… something had been shifting in her. Whatever it was it was causing ripples. She was looking at people differently. She saw more and more she was becoming wary of.

Lucia could have sworn she could trust them all with herself. Now there was a niggling voice, her own from a time ago, saying there was only one person who could be trusted. She had to find that person. She was being driven from within but she couldn't move. Something was keeping her tethered to this life where she flirted with the danger in Castiel and let herself be led by Rosalya.

It was an odd feeling, being torn in two. She wanted to relax into this life she now had. She wanted to remember everything she had forgotten. It was like she was constantly running somewhere but she kept turning so that she just ended up running in the same circle, unable to move forward and unable to go back.

This isn't real. This isn't you. This life isn't yours. Remove the veil covering you… remember it…

"Earth to Lucia! Where on earth did you go just now?" Alexy scolded with his usual cheery smile.

Lucia gasped. It felt like she was coming from a place deep under water, resurfacing. Her eyes were wide and unfocused. Her voice, what did she want?

She realized that her friends were watching her now with worry. Sweat slipped down forehead. It was then she realized in an absent matter her left hand had come up to clutch her head while the right clenched the Sapphire necklace she always wore.

With a sigh she released the necklace. Her other hand she lowered only slightly, running it along her neck to gather the sweat and massage a bit. Her head tilted to accommodate the new position as she forced a tired and wan smile to her lips. Lately a tired smile felt like all she could muster.

"If I divorce you will this be any easier on me?" She asked.

Rosalya hesitantly smiled back. "Not a chance. Lucia are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I just got distracted."

"But Lucia-"

"I said I'm FINE!" She snapped, unable to resist. The fastly becoming familiar rush bit into her skin. This isn't me!

"What's this? It's rare that you haven't dragged Lucia into her undergarments by now… is something the matter?" Lysander had emerged from the back to see the unusual sight.

Alexy and Rosalya exchanged looks again when Lucia turned and swore under her breath. Lysander caught the phrase and glanced at his unusual friend. His eyes narrowed when he saw the distraction writ on her face. It was happening more and more lately. It wasn't the distraction of a girl wrapped in daydreams. It was the distraction of an unstable person.

From the minute he met her he had been aware of a split to her, they all had been after knowing her. He had chalked it up to her memory loss. It had long since become a concrete thing to him that she shouldn't regain her memories. He had looked it up after a few witnessing of this other self inside her.

It was said that a person with memory loss suffered heavy headaches that could cause them to lash out. A wolf caught in a trap, as it were. Lucia hadn't been very violent lately but every now and then something came over her. She would snap at them, always very sorry after. It had started happening after that funny business in the park.

"… Well, Leigh made you something Lucia." Lysander said quietly, hoping to bring her from the cloud hovering.

"Yes, he did! You've done so much for us. You fixed our relationship and you've been an amazing friend. We wanted to thank you for being there for us." Rosalya put in excitedly.

For a moment Lucia looked at them blankly before she blinked. The exhaustion in her eyes was painful to see.

"You guys didn't have to do that. I helped because I wanted to."

"Yes, well we did, so come try it on. It's absolutely perfect for the concert!" Rosalya grabbed her by her arm and tugged her forward. The momentum was wrong however because it seemed Lucia hadn't been supporting herself by more than an unreliable amount. She stumbled to the ground and sat there for a moment, breathing heavily, jerking away from Rosalya in the process.

Lysander was swift in his actions. "Rosalya why don't you go get the dress? You could show Alexy the new fabrics Leigh ordered as well." Translation, give me a moment.

Rosalya looked at him before nodding. She was fully capable of admitting when something was beyond her. Lucia wasn't the best of friends, sometimes showing a preference to be pushed around rather than actively engage in anything but when it counted she was there for them. So Rosalya grasped Alexy who followed hesitantly.

In the new silence Lysander looked down at Lucia for a moment before kneeling on front of her. He reached to gently pull her hands away from her head. She raised glassy and feverish eyes up to him before she tugged weakly. When he refused to release her she sighed and whimpered a bit, leaning her head against some clothes hanging beside her.

"Lucia if something is wrong I hope you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it." He said patiently.

Lucia wanted to laugh in his face. Talk to him? As if he or any one of them could understand the things she was feeling!

This isn't me!

Rather than laugh aloud Lucia chuckled a bit even as she tried to gather her thoughts to spill.

"I just don't know anymore Lysander. It's like… like there's this thing. It's inside me, all the time now. This anger… and this deep… fear and denial. I… I feel such hatred at something… someone… but then so guilty. Aria hates me for some reason, she wants me dead… but I only feel this pity when I think about her, some regret… I haven't done anything differently. I'm not trying to remember things. But they're coming in these great waves and dreams, all the time."

"You're remembering things?" He prompted with a frown, looking over her shoulder as he tried to make sense of what she said.

She laughed suddenly and it was such a weak thing he felt pity. "I can't make sense of any of it. I remember learning to fight and that it was very important I could. I don't know why. I remember… blood, everywhere. I think I must be going nuts."

"You know you'd make a good priest. This isn't a confession booth by any chance? She asked with a smile.

Lysander saw that she had stopped sweating. Her eyes weren't glassy anymore but they were dull. So he allowed a small smile to touch his lips. Hardly. I believe you have to be Catholic to become a priest."

"Really? I never was a religious sort. Even then…"

"Lucia?" He prompted again.

She made a soft noise in the back of her throat. "I'm kind of scared Lysander. I'm scared of disappearing. But is it right for me to exist when I might have been something totally different before? What makes it right for the person I was to just vanish and be swallowed?"

"What makes it right for you to have to go?" he returned.

"It's just… I'm fighting something. I'm fighting it when I'm awake, when I sleep and… I'm starting to get my ass handed to me. I'm losing."

Lysander wasn't sure what to say in response to that. He glanced up to maybe get some inspiration. What he saw made him blink.

Castiel stood there to the side of them. His gaze was riveted on Lucia. An insane thought crossed his mind in that instant as he looked at his friend who had a mixture of rage and fear in his eyes.

It was perfectly okay and natural for him not to sense Castiel there. Normally Lucia however was the first to note a new presence, especially Castiel's. They were fine tuned to each other. Why hadn't Lucia noticed him before?

It took Castiel dropping the bag he carried to get her to glance up at him. A mild recognition flit through her gaze before it returned to that same dullness. Castiel dropped beside her and gathered her in his arms. It was an uncharacteristic move for him. He was being gentle but firm.

"Listen to me." He said in a low voice that shook with his anger. "Lucia, I said listen. The person you are now is the real you. I don't give a damn about anything else. The person here now is the only you that has any right to exist."

She looked like she was at war with herself again, a violent retort warring with a need to submit to the firmness of that tone, so like his own… in the end she sighed and nodded before allowing herself to be pulled up.

On the roof of the building across from them a figure tossed a headset away from them in mild disgust. It had been so close… it still was. Soon, very soon she would be at a point when she could have her own awakening. Just one more fatal push and…

"So nothing yet?" A cool female voice asked.

The figure turned to see his few returning companions. They were all that was left. The others were either dead or still sleeping, trapped in the false lives that had been created for them. The five of them had been able to break free of the chains placed on them. Soon he hoped Lucia would be a returning member as well. Then they could carry out their plans…

"I think were almost there. She's remembering things. I've been watching her. Soon she'll be to the point where she can't sleep because of the dreams. The exhaustion will open her up more, like it did last time and for all of us."

Another man stepped forward. "And this isn't going to hurt her?"

The obvious leader cocked a brow. "Did it hurt you?"

Red eyes narrowed in hate. "You know damned well it did. It hurt all of us; it pushed bodies that had gone soft. In the lives the Organization gave us we didn't need to be trained Killers, we were allowed to go soft. Hell, we were practically led to it."

"But you survived. And aren't you happier with the veil off?"

"You're such a bastard." The younger male spat.

Across town Tata picked up her cell phone. "Hello there?"

Locke came across loud and clear. "We have a problem. I need you to get in here now and collar Lucia back at your place."

The chipper and naïve façade drained away as her hand tightened on the cell. "I'm on my way."

End chapter.

AUTHOR NOTE: So I'd like you all to join me in a moment of silence for the flash drive….. Not kidding. If you were one of the ones that read my one-shot "The way things should be" you know that I rely very heavily on my flash drives. All my chapters to all my stories were stored on my little shiny device. And I broke it. Unfortunately my Cousin wasn't able to recover all the data from it and what he did recover wasn't the chapters I most needed. What I got were chapters down the line with no way to anglicize or shift over to go in as eight. And my memory is as bad if not worse than a gold-fish so I couldn't recall how exactly I connected them up to the end. So I'm scrapping them.

It hurts a bit because I was proud of my work. I'll still pull things from the chapters I was able to get back. This has been a difficult thing to do. I pulled up word so many times only to stare blankly at the screen before deciding I wanted a nap. In fact this would have probably dies if not for the fact I had some reviews that spurred me. I decided I don't want to let it die because I still do have plans for it.

This chapter may feel a little forced at first but I hope you all can ignore that. The flow didn't come back to me until about halfway through. This was more of a filler than anything. Once I drag Deborah from the deep I'll be able to mix my regained chapters better. And she will be making her appearance within a chapter or two.

So I hope you all enjoyed this. I know the wait was long and I can never explain how sorry I am for the few who were waiting for leave a review on how the comeback was if you please. I'd like some feedback to know some people are still interested in this at least. Until next time, good-bye!

Special thanks fo out to Wolvwsrule and Germandelights and Whiteangel and "Guest." (come forward with a name so I can thank you properly) The fact that you guys reviewed even after my months of waffling brought this back to my mind. So thank you very much for again for making me turn back to this ficition... now I'm really done!

... okay, not done. German what is a Daywalker? I'm... not up to speed on it... do you mean a vampire?