Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.
Unfairly Judged.
Chapter 9 – Little Conversations
No one's POV.
Ever since Jade was told about Trina's deception, she couldn't decide what to do. There was her apathy and depression that told her that it was pointless and her romantic side, and Jade did have one, which hoped that things could work out. So Jade wrestled with her dilemma constantly going back and forth, not even sure what if anything she'd say to Tori, if she encountered her.
When she walked into school, Jade felt more depressed than anything as that side, seemingly had won the battle. It's all pointless, mused Jade.
It was a moment later, while Jade was immersed in thought, that someone bumped into her. In old days, Jade would promptly turn and snap at whoever it was. But Jade at the moment was only a remnant of her old self, so she simply turned to see who it was.
It was Tori, which besides surprising Jade, sent her into a panic. For an instant, she froze not having the slightest idea, what to do. Filled with self-doubt she quickly concluded that there was no hope.
It was a glance into Tori's beautiful brown eyes, brown eyes that Jade could see were filled with regret and self-doubt that for a moment made her feel not so quite alone. Jade had always loved Tori's eyes, having always thought they looked so soft and inviting. Her eyes alone, gave Jade the courage to speak.
It was only a single word and all Jade could manage, but it was a word.
"Hi."
Stunned by Jade's saying, Hi, Tori was a taken a back and just like Jade found herself not sure of what to do.
After a brief but awkward silence, Tori blurted out the only thing she could think of.
"I'm sorry my sister lied to you. I….I….I…would have called. I didn't know."
Jade nodded slightly. "Ok."
"I didn't know….really….." Tori repeated, for lack of anything else to say.
Again Jade nodded, as the sense of unease between the two only began to grow.
"I didn't…." Tori said, her voice trailing off nervously.
Jade unable to stand the horrible awkwardness, nodded a third time, turned round and started to walk off.
As she watched Jade walked off and feeling like something was slipping away, Tori called out.
"Can we talk some other time…."
Jade paused, without looking back. "Are you afraid of me?"
"Should I be?" Was Tori's response, something she regretted saying an instant later.
"Tori, this all started because you misjudged me, thought I was something to be feared. If that remains the case, than I don't see much point in us….talking."
"Jade, I stopped by the other night, after I found out that Trina lied. I even got to your front door. But I chickened out. For the most part, I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. I'm so afraid of that…" Tori continued to speak, but her voice began to shake slightly. "But in all honestly, I was afraid of how you'd react. At least partially. It's not easy for me to admit it. But I am. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes."
"Do you think I'm perfect?"
"No..er I mean no….you are…but no…." Stammered Tori.
Not moving, Jade let out a small sigh.
Finally in desperation Tori stepped forward. "Yes, Jade I'm scared. Of you and making things worse. That's why we should talk. Get to know each other….I mean really know each other. I'm sure you have things you want to say too. It doesn't have to be all at once. I just want to talk. Maybe you're afraid of me too. We'll never know or be able to get past it, if we don't' talk."
After Tori stopped speaking she could only pray that her little speech helped, but Jade didn't respond. In fact, Jade just stood there, her back to her.
"You're being honest.…..maybe, we'll talk later."
Jade then walked off, leaving Tori alone.
It was Tori's honesty about being afraid that convinced Jade to try and take another step. It wouldn't be easy of course, as her feelings were still badly hurt. Jade's self-esteem being damaged as well, she wasn't sure if the Latina would really like her.
Tori's POV
It wasn't easy to admit that not only was I afraid of doing the wrong thing, but that I feared her as well. It's not a good idea to tell someone you want to date that you both fear and mistrust them. I felt that it was worth the risk to be honest with her and my gamble appears to have paid off.
We did talk, but the conversation was short, awkward and kind of uncomfortable. I hope our next one goes better.
She kept to herself the rest of the day and as she had been in the few months, looked somewhat depressed and apathetic. I know I hurt her feelings but what else is she feeling? I simply don't know. Just one of the many things about Jade I don't know.
I thought about approaching her later on that day, but decided to let her make the next move when she felt comfortable about it.
That came the next day. As I came back into school after lunch, I saw Jade further down the deserted hallway, about 20 yards off. For the record, he hasn't eaten lunch with us since this started.
"Feel free to flee?" Quipped Jade, in a somewhat cynical tone of voice.
She was being cynical, but I also sensed she was challenging me in some way.
I stood my ground and narrowed my eyes. "What if I don't want too?"
"You're afraid aren't you?"
"I could ask you the same question." I challenged back, causing her face to briefly scrunch up.
After a moment of silence, I spoke again.
"I've had some time to think Jade. And though I made several mistakes, try and look at it from my point of view. "
"And what's that?"
Taking a step forward, I took a deep breath and said. "I can't say I really know you. Yes, you're stunningly beautiful, smart, talented, abrasive and love all things scissor and horror related, but there has to be more than that. I can only know what I see. For example; you asked me out and was nicer to me in the week or two before you did. But about 3 weeks before you did, you told me that you hated me. I think you're exact words were. Vega, I hate you. Now as I see it, you were either telling the truth or not telling the truth. If you were telling the truth, then why 3 weeks later did you ask me out? If were not telling the truth, then why lie to me."
Once I had finished speaking I watched her expression carefully. Her mouth parted slightly and for a moment she looked somewhat frustrated and just a bit nervous.
"It's complicated."
I said, while taking another step towards her. "What's complicated?"
Looking slightly more nervous, Jade stepped back and suddenly looked to the floor. "My….my feelings."
Now it was my time to be cynical and though I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, I ran with it. "The way you act sometimes, one could easily think you don't have any."
"Well I do!" Snapped Jade viciously. "And you walked all over them!"
I had obviously struck a nerve, but at the same time, her response struck a nerve in me. So, I snapped right back. "I get it, you're afraid; at least I had the balls to admit it."
I seemed to have caught her off guard as her jaw now hung open. Before she could react I said. "Let me know when you decide to actually act like a person who supposedly likes me. "
Then I turned and walked off. As soon as rounded the corner I started to shake. Was that even a good idea. I think I just blew it. Yes I messed up, but she messed up too. How was I supposed to know she had real feelings, I'm not psychic.
The rest of the day I only caught an occasional glimpse of Jade. I'm pretty sure she was not avoiding me. That only made me feel like crap. I shouldn't have said what I said.
I was still feeling that way at the end of the day as I left the school and headed towards my car. But no sooner as I had gotten 10 feet out of the school did I hear Jade's voice behind me.
"You can be pretty harsh when you need to."
"I don't like to be like that." I said, without turning around.
"Did you think I wouldn't talk to you again?"
I then turned around to see Jade sitting off to the side, on one of steps, eating an apple.
"I did think I might have blown it. Have I?"
"I'm talking to you, aren't I."
"So what are we talking about then?"
Jade paused for a moment, briefly looking at the cloudy sky. "I just wanted to tell you that, I'm afraid. Yes Vega, even I get afraid.
I was tempted to make a snarky reply, but didn't. "Afraid you're feelings my get hurt."
"Amongst other things."
"So Jade, can I ask you a question."
"Go ahead."
"That day when you told me you hated me. Did you lie or did you tell the truth."
"I lied. That time and all the other times."
"Because you were afraid?"
"Can I answer that question later?"
It was an odd request, but considering we were talking and slowly making progress, I was willing to go along.
"Ok. So that means, we'll talk again?"
"I'd like too. We have a ways to go…."
"Till we get where?"
Jade merely made a smile, took a bite of her apple and walked off.
The next few days, Jade kept quiet, but occasionally she'd look over at me. Finally on Friday, she walked up to me.
"Your sister avoids me like the plague."
I instantly scowled. "I don't have a sister!"
"So you two don't talk?"
"No. My parents know the score. Trina got yelled at and she tried to apologize again, but don't want anything to do with her. Now my parents think I'm being stubborn."
Jade shifted her feet. "You're willing to forgive me, but not her."
"Can we not talk about her, please? Besides, I don't think we've quite forgiven each other yet. Am I wrong?"
"No. But to help that. I have something for you."
"What's that."
From her purse, Jade pulled out a check and handed it to Tori.
Turning it over, I could see it was a check for $250 dollars, which was a pleasant surprise.
"I found out from Beck that you sold your Taylor Swift Tickets for $250 so you could have your car cleaned. I couldn't get you tickets. The cheapest ones I found were from a scalper and he was charging over a thousand. I couldn't afford that. But I could refund the money you spent."
"Thank you."
That first conversation was horribly awkward, the others since then less so, but still filled with a tension between us. I so much wanted it to go away, but things take time.
I looked at the check and put it in my purse. "Thanks again. I'll see you around."
"See ya, Vega."
Starting to walk off, I heard Jade call out again but in a tone full of genuine concern..
"I looked out the window a few minutes ago. Looks like it's going to rain pretty soon. Hard, by the looks of those dark clouds on the horizon. Drive safe."
"You too Jade. Talk to you later."
"I hope so." Came her reply.
So they're talking but still have a ways to go before they full trust and forgive each other. But they're making progress.
I didn't want their reconciliation to be an easy one. I wanted one where they start off very uncomfortable with each other. Something they only gradually get over. I hope I put that across in my writing.
Next chapter, probably won't be till next week. So until next time…..
