A/N: Hello, new chapter for you dears. Painful IVKai. Painful DuroMiza. Vector's having fun though. And the entrance of Gauche and Droite, yay! They're all dorky losers. All of them. And Mizael and Thomas are adorably cute. Thanks for the reviews, enjoy and keep them coming.
"Kaito, I'm really not sure I can do this," Thomas whispered shakily.
Kaito smiled softly, sitting him on the bed and giving him a gentle, reassuring kiss. "It's alright. You keep pushing yourself because you think it's what I want and I want you to be comfortable with everything we do so… this is the solution."
"But Kaito-"
"If you don't want to, it's ok," he said gently, stroking his cheeks. "You know I'm happy with whatever happens, but I thought this would be easier for you." Thomas gazed up at him for a moment, licking his lips nervously before nodding slowly. Kaito smiled softly, giving him another tender kiss. "And I need you to know that you mean so much to me, Thomas." He hated how stunned Thomas looked by that but that just made saying it all the more important. "I care about you. I… love you. And if I ever hurt you in anyway… I would never hurt you, Thomas. If I ever do anything to hurt you, I need you to tell me and I will do everything to make it right again."
"Kaito?" He looked so confused by all of it. Kaito wished he could make it all better. He desperately wished Thomas would understand that he was loved. "Why are you saying these things?"
"Because I need you to know. I know people think… Do you think I'm not being honest in this relationship?"
Thomas frowned. "I don't understand the question."
"It doesn't matter." Thomas frowned and he knew the subject wasn't going to end there. Thomas didn't like him dropping a subject without explaining. And he couldn't risk Thomas getting worked up again. "It just… what Mizael says and it seems Chris…" He sighed and shook his head. "I'm not with you because Chris has someone else. You know that, don't you?" Thomas lowered his head slightly, glancing away and Kaito's heart dropped. "Thomas?"
"Of course I know that."
He was lying. Kaito knew what Thomas was lying and he was barely even trying to cover it up. He closed his eyes tightly and straightened up. Thomas' hands caught his hands ad Kaito opened his eyes, gazing down at him. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.
"Thomas, my feelings for Chris and my feelings for you are two completely separate subjects."
"I- I know," Thomas said quickly. "I'm sorry." Kaito shook his head. Thomas was going to say things he didn't mean to try and make things right but Kaito was sick of this. If not even Thomas believed this relationship was genuine then what was the point? "Kaito, I'm sorry. Of course I believe you."
"Don't do this, Thomas, I hate when you do this."
"Ok. Ok, I'm sorry. So, it's ok, right?" He caught Kaito's hand tightly and Kaito sighed, pulling his hand away. "Kaito?"
"I'm sorry, Thomas," he said softly. "I really am. It's just… I could handle everyone else thinking I was using you. I could put up with Chris treating me like I was doing something wrong and Mizael constantly telling me I should let you go because I was hurting you. And as long as you knew I honestly cared about you, I didn't care what they think. But you don't believe in me. And I can't do this if you don't believe in me."
"I do!" Thomas cried, scrambling up and wrapping his arms tightly around his middle. He nuzzled into his back between his shoulders and Kaito sighed. "I do, Kaito! I'm sorry! Please, don't leave. Come back to bed."
"I can't, Thomas," he whispered, gently prying off his hands and turning. He kissed him softly and Thomas gazed up at him, agony written across his face. "Please, understand, I care about you so much. And this isn't in anyway a sign that I don't still care about you and want to be with you. I want to keep our relationships. I want this to be right between us but at the moment-"
"Kaito!" Thomas cried desperately.
"There are things you need to work out, Thomas," he said softly, stroking his cheeks. "It's not your fault. None of this is, but I can't do this until you're better. And you know, the second you're better, if you want to pick this up again, I will happily pick this up right where we left off."
"Kaito, please."
"I'm sorry. It'll be ok though. I'm still here for you. Just not like this anymore."
He pulled away gently and left Thomas before he lost his resolve. This was best for Thomas. He loved Thomas dearly but if even Thomas believed he didn't honestly care about him how was he supposed to do this? There was a crash and a frustrated scream from Thomas' room and Kaito's will wavered. This was killing him but he had to do it. A relationship where Thomas was afraid to tell him what he wanted in case he left him wasn't fair.
"Kaito?" Faker said with a smile as he entered the monitoring room. He frowned, obviously noticing him mood. "Is something wrong?"
"Thomas and I…" He sighed and closed his eyes. "I had to, didn't I? It wasn't fair on him."
Faker sighed and laid his hand on his head, ruffling his hair gently. "It'll be ok, Kaito. It will all work out."
Kaito nodded and moved over to the fold out bed and curled up, trying not to think about the pain he'd caused the both. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? Thomas still had things to work out and their relationship would get in the way.
There was silence for a while before Haruto came toddling in and climbed up onto the bed with him. He smiled sadly up at his brother and Haruto patted his head gently. After a moment, Kaito sat up and pulled him into his arms, holding him gently. Haruto leant up and kissed his cheek, holding his hands tightly. Somehow, it'd work out. It was what was best for Thomas. He just had to keep reminding himself of that.
"Don't be sad," Haruto said quietly.
"It's ok," Kaito replied. "Sometimes doing the right thing for someone else hurts for a little while. But it'll make everyone happier in the long run."
Faker sighed and got up, leaving them for a while. Kaito glanced up at the Barians. They were sitting around, going along with their normal routines. And then Faker appeared in the hall, opening up Mizael's door. Mizael watched him silently for a moment before following him out. Kaito watched silently as Faker led Mizael to the room set up for Haruto and Merag's meetings. He left him in there and Kaito frowned.
"Dr Faker, I-" Chris paused in the doorway, obviously noticing his father wasn't there. "Kaito? Is everything alright?"
Kaito frowned and rubbed his eyes, making sure there were no tears. "Fine."
Chris frowned and came over slowly, sitting on the bed with them and Haruto pushed Kaito into his arms. Chris smiled softly, wrapping his arms around him and stroked his hair gently. Why did it have to be like this? Why was it only now Chris was starting to pay attention and care about him again?
"You need to be with Thomas," Kaito whispered, pulling back slightly. He smiled weakly and held Haruto gently. "He needs you right now."
"Kaito? What happened? What did you do?"
"I had to let him go, didn't I? Like you said."
Chris sighed. "Oh, Kaito. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that stuff. I was just annoyed. I was just trying to protect Thomas."
"But you were right. Even he thinks I was in that relationship because of you. And it's not fair on either of us."
"Kaito… I'm sorry…"
"Just go and be with Thomas."
Chris sighed and nodded, kissing his cheek and getting up off the bed only to freeze. He was staring up at the screens. Kaito frowned and followed Chris' gaze. He tensed. His father was letting Thomas into the room with Mizael. Unlike when Merag was allowed near Haruto, Faker had used the anchors to hold Mizael's wrists to a loop on the floor. He was at least restrained a little.
"What's he doing?" Chris hissed.
Thomas closed sat across from Mizael, wrapping himself in blankets and brushing away tears. Mizael gave him a strange look and Faker glanced between them for a moment and Thomas sighed.
"I thought I wasn't allowed near the Barians," Thomas said.
"It's fine," Faker said gently. "I think it'll be ok. I'll be watching, don't worry."
Thomas nodded and Faker left them alone. They sat in silence for a while and Faker returned to the monitoring room. Chris and Kaito were glaring at him as he returned. Kaito didn't know what his father was thinking. How could he think Thomas was safe with Mizael?
"Faker-"
"Please, trust me, Christopher," Faker replied, sitting in his hair. "Let's see if this helps."
"How can it help?" Kaito snapped.
"I take it you're in pain," Mizael said quietly. Thomas nodded, pouring out a tea for each of them. He'd thought after his father's death nothing would hurt so much again. "Your hands are trembling."
Thomas set down his cup and folded his hands in his lap as Mizael reached over, taking his cup and sipping quietly. There was silence for a moment and Thomas wasn't sure why Dr Faker wanted him to talk to Mizael but he said it was a good idea, so he went with it. Thomas agreed to go along with it.
"Do you know why you're here?" Mizael said.
"I'm not sure I care right now," Thomas whispered.
Mizael frowned, almost understandingly. "You're in pain because of Kaito."
"Because things are over," he replied.
"It's for the best," Mizael said, leaning back on his chair. Thomas lowered his gaze to his hands. How could it be for the best? How could this pain be for the best? "You're better off without him."
"Just because you don't like him-"
"I would tell you the same no matter who it was," he said firmly. Thomas glared up at him, clenching his fists. How dare he tell him what to do with his love life? "Thomas, if you were to carry on, you would only have suffered."
"Shut up!" Thomas cried. "You don't know what you're talking about! You don't know anything about me!"
"I was you, Thomas," he snapped. "I'm what you would have become!" Thomas blinked at him in shock, falling silent and staring up at him. There was an awkward silence before Mizael sighed and sipped his drink. "Durbe has always loved Nasch. We were friends, always. We clicked but he never saw me. He never paid attention to me the way I paid attention to him. He only ever saw Nasch." Thomas nodded. That sounded far too familiar. "Then Nasch pushed him away, told him he wasn't interested and then he bonded with Vector."
"And suddenly you were interesting?" Thomas whispered.
Mizael nodded and set down his drink. Thomas sighed, finally getting his hands to stop trembling long enough to lift his own cup from the table, sipping a little before setting it down. He really didn't trust himself to hold it for long. He knew Mizael was telling the trust, about his relationship and Thomas'. And maybe Kaito was right too. Maybe he needed time to focus on himself. He'd thought he was alright. He'd thought he was ready for something more than friendship but he wasn't. It wasn't alright at all. He was too reliant on Kaito, wasn't he? He needed to stand on his own two feet.
"If you'd carried on, perhaps you'd stay together," Mizael said softly. "And perhaps he'd love you or convince himself he did. Perhaps he'd grow to love you. But you won't be able to trust him. You'll always wonder if he's just waiting for the person he really loves. You'll never be able to forget that you were second best."
Thomas smiled weakly and nodded. "He seems to really care about you."
"I'm sure he does. But I'm not Nasch," he murmured. "The saddest part is, I think Nasch cared for him too. I think he just took pity on me. And I hate him for it. I don't want to but I do. Because he hurt Durbe for me."
"You seem like a good person to me," Thomas said, pulling the blankets tighter around him. "But what do I know? There's something wrong with me."
"Who told you that?"
"Everyone knows there's something wrong," he laughed, shaking his head. "There always has been. One of Father's girlfriends said she saw a monster in me. Father always said that I was different. I'm broken and be fixed."
Mizael gave him an almost pitying look. Thomas was used to it. He'd long ago accepted that he wasn't normal. He put on a mask and acted like he was normal but he knew there was something wrong with him. It was why he took things so hard. It was why he broke over his father's death. It was why he felt so different to his brothers. Why they could get over it and he couldn't.
"There's a saying back home," Mizael said softly. "An unbroken crystal is neither beautiful nor useful." Thomas frowned and sipped his drink again. He wasn't entirely sure how to take that. Mizael sighed. "It means that the most beautiful, interesting and useful things aren't perfectly formed. Sometimes it's only by damaging something do you really see it's true worth."
"What about someone that's broken from the start?"
"We found a use for Vector."
Thomas actually managed to crack a small smile and Mizael offered one in return. And for a moment, it actually felt like things were going to be ok. For a moment, the pain of Kaito leaving him faded. For a moment, it felt like things didn't matter because Mizael understood the pain he was going through.
"It'll be ok, Thomas," Mizael said. "You're strong. I'm sure you are. And I'm sure your father must be very proud of you."
Thomas smiled. "He was the biggest dork, my father. He was incredible. Even after other died, he loved us so much. He spent time with us, whenever he could. He worked hard but he tried to find as much time as he could for us to be together."
"He sounds like a good man."
"He was. He was the best."
"You can tell me about him if you like," Mizael said. "I'm sure Faker doesn't want us to know anything about you. And I won't deny Nasch, Vector and Durbe want to use you for their plans, but as far as I can see you're an innocent child who's been a victim in this. What you did to Vector was cruel, but you were lashing out because of his actions and in your place many people would have done the same. I won't tell them anything you tell me in here."
Thomas nodded and started talking. He took his time and Mizael was actually rather friendly and agreeable when they got to talking. It was actually nice to chat with him. He made him laugh and smile without even really meaning to. He was a lot like Kaito but different. It was actually too soon when Orbital came to the door to take Mizael back to his cell. And Mizael went willingly, pausing at the door and asking if Thomas wanted to come with him.
He walked along at Mizael's side down to the habitats, continuing chatting. Vector laughed seeing them and for the first time, Thomas actually didn't care about Vector. He just smiled as Mizael returned to his cell.
"Thank you," he said softly, lowering his head. Mizael nodded, sitting on his bunk. "I really needed that." Mizael nodded with a soft smile. Then Thomas turned to Vector. "I'm not sure what you expect to get out of lying but it won't work. This family is strong and you're not going to tear us apart."
He smirked and walked away and Vector laughed. But Thomas was happy. Vector didn't bother him today.
"When you're tired of being Kaito's lap dog you should come see what real fun is."
Thomas laughed and shook his head, striding out into the hall. Maybe Vector had a point. He certainly seemed to know what he was doing. But there was no need to let Vector know that. Because for the first time in a while, Thomas felt like his problems were absolutely normal. Like the fact that he was broken didn't mean anything.
"Thomas." He bumped into Chris and Kaito bringing the Barians their food. Chris smiled and Thomas smiled, leaning up and kissing his cheek. He couldn't quite face Kaito but he offered a strained smile. Chris caught his hand gently. "I need to talk to you later."
Thomas nodded. "Of course."
"You did the right thing," Mizael called over to Kaito. Kaito faltered as he left but quickly returned to stalking out with Chris. Once the door was closed, he turned to NAsch, Vector and Durbe. "You three are going to destroy an innocent child."
Vector laughed and sat against the wall, eating his dinner and watching them across the hall. "Just because your relationship is a mess doesn't mean you should mess with our plans, Mizael."
"I'm not trying to mess with anything," he snapped.
He frowned, feeling a bolt of sadness from Durbe. He glanced into Durbe's cell. Durbe was watching him quietly, eyes pained and confused. Mizael tried to ignore it but he knew he couldn't. He knew he'd have to sort this out somehow. Durbe had finally figured out how he felt, he couldn't ignore it any longer.
"Mizael, I-"
"I know, Durbe," he said quietly, turning his attention to his food. "I know."
"But you obviously don't," Durbe argued. "How long have you been feeling like this, Mizael?" He scowled and glared down at his food. He'd always felt like this. He'd never thought for a second he stood any chance with Durbe while Nasch was in the picture. Durbe would never return his feelings. Even with their bond, Durbe was blind to everything but Nasch. "Mizael, don't you trust me?"
"You know I will always trust you," he snapped.
"Just not about this?"
"This is different."
"Mizael, you know I care about you," Durbe said, shaking his head.
"I know," Mizael replied.
"Just not in the right way," Vector chuckled.
"Shut up, Vector," Nasch snapped.
Mizael frowned and looked glanced around at the others. Alit and Merag were watching curiously while Gilag had returned to watching TV in the back rooms. He didn't want to have this conversation at all, let alone in front of them. Especially not in front Vector and Nasch. Vector would laugh and be a pain and Nasch was the entire problem.
"Mizael, listen to me," Durbe insisted.
"I really don't want to talk about it, Durbe," Mizael said quietly. "Not now."
"We can't just ignore this," he snapped. "If you don't trust me then how are we going to get anywhere?"
"I trust you to get us out of this mess," he replied.
"That's not good enough."
"It's what matters."
"No, it's not. I'm sorry I didn't realise this sooner but I am trying to make up for it. I'm trying to make things better and this isn't the ideal situation to be dealing with this but you need to meet me half way."
"Durbe-"
"Basically, you two are doomed," Vector laughed. "Right now Nasch and I have a better relationship than you two."
"Vector," Nasch snapped.
"What?" he said with a shrug. "It's the truth. He's never going to trust Durbe as long as you're around."
"I wish I could throw something heavy at you."
"Mizael," Durbe said softly, moving over to the glass. "Mizael, listen to me, it's not like that."
"Just let it go, Durbe," he muttered, heading into his back room.
"Mizael!"
Kaito was actually worried by how normal things were the next morning. The Barians had argued again so they weren't talking when they went in to feed them. But more surprisingly Thomas was happy. Although, interestingly enough, all three Arclights came out of Chris' room that morning. Thomas had given him his kiss on the cheek like he did every morning on the way out the shower but hadn't waited for Kaito to return it like he used to. He just carried on along the corridor.
He'd been casual about breakfast and chatty and actually seemed happy. Kaito had kissed Haruto before he left and Haruto make him promise not be sad until he was back at home where he could comfort him. And of course Kaito promised. Thomas latched onto his arm as they walked to school and Kaito found himself wondering if Thomas was doing his usual thing of ignoring any arguments and carrying on like nothing had happened.
At the bottom of the street, Chris kissed Thomas' forehead and waved him off. Thomas went and Chris kissed Kaito's cheek. "He's taking this far too well. It's like that mask he wears has become permanent. Look after him."
"I will," Kaito promised.
He didn't want to push Thomas deeper into himself. He'd hide away behind that mask at it wasn't good for him. He'd make sure Thomas didn't get any worse. Suddenly, Chris was chuckling.
"You may want to get back to babysitting."
Kaito turned to see Thomas arguing with a larger third year student quite loudly. And a girl was trying to get between them but they weren't paying attention. Kaito sighed and waved goodbye to Chris, hurrying over to intervene.
"-some sort of duelling hot shot the way everyone talks about you," the older boy was laughing.
"Some sort of…" Thomas snorted and tossed his head. "Don't you know who you're talking to?"
"Thomas," Kaito snapped.
"I bet I could take you anytime, shortie," the boy argued. "You and your back up."
"Gauche," the girl hissed, pressing a hand on his chest.
"Back up?" Kaito muttered, folding his arms.
"You wish, knucklehead," Thomas sneered. "Kaito and I can kick your ass, any time, although I'm guess your girlfriend is the brains of your operation."
"Are you calling me dumb, punk?"
"Well you're not Vector, that's for sure."
"Thomas," Kaito said sharply, getting between them and pushing Thomas back. "You're not allowed to talk about that. I get that' you're angry but you have to stop now."
"It's fine," the girl said. Kaito glanced back to her head glaring at them with her arms folded. "If you think you can win, meet us on the duel field after school. Let's go, Gauche."
Thomas grinned. "What do you say, Kaito? You're going to duel with me, right?"
"Thomas…" Kaito sighed. He didn't know if he could duel with Thomas. A tag duel required trust and belief and being in sync. He wouldn't have worried before but now he wasn't so sure. "Maybe we shouldn't-"
"I'll always believe in you, Kaito," Thomas said, gazing up at him with a big- and more importantly honest- smile. "Even if my insecurities ruined what we had… you're one of the best duellists I know, probably because I taught you everything, and you're still my best friend. And you're always going to be a big brother to me. So I know that if we duel together we'll always win because you know me better than anyone else. That's why I trust that us breaking up was the right thing. It hurts and I don't really understand still and I'm kinda sad about it but I know you'd never do something you didn't think was best for me- for us. So let's duel together!"
Kaito watched him silently for a moment before he nodded and Thomas' smiled widened. "They're going to regret challenging us."
In the Next Chapter: Michael bumps into little Yuma again and Gauche and Thomas clash.
