Watching A Very Potter Musical.
Chapter 6: Part 4, part 2.
A/N: Happy New Year! Here is HuffThePuff's first chapter! I will be working as a Beta-Reader for this story now, adding small details and fixing any errors I see.
Snape: Why, Professor Dumbledore. I just happened to be in the kitchen and I made you this, delicious sandwich.
Her thought was soon answered as Fake Snape pulled out a sandwich that was obviously holding a Pipe bomb. Everyone's head apart from Draco's who was smiling to himself turned towards Snape who was frowning.
Dumbledore: Why thank you Severus. You see Granger, how thoughtful.
Snape: Here you are Professor. Bomb apatite. I mean, Bone apatite.
"Did he just say bomb apatite?" Ron asked.
"No he said bone." George replied.
"Bomb."
"Bone."
"Bomb!"
"Bone!"
"Both of you shut up!" Ginny yelled over the pair.
Hermione: Um – Is that Sandwich ticking?
Dumbledore: It looks like its licking. Finger licking good.
Hermione: Professor I don't think you should eat that sandwich.
Dumbledore: Why Granger? You should listen to Snape more often. You might even get a free sandwich out of it.
Everyone apart from Snape and Malfoy laughed as Hermione grabbed the sandwich/bomb and ran off stage with it.
"Risking your own life to save Dumbledore…" Ron said, wiping a tear of laughter from running down his face. "Classic…"
"Well I do try." Hermione muttered modestly.
Dumbledore: Granger what the hell – Granger what are you doing? You've only gone and exploded my sandwich!
They heard a loud explosion as Fake Hermione came running back.
Hermione: I'm sorry sir!
Dumbledore: Hey, even if I did believe Harry Potter was in danger, he has to compete, you see that cup?
Hermione: Yes.
Dumbledore: It's enchanted. Whosever name comes out of the cup has to compete or the results would be bad.
"What does he mean bad?" Hermione asked the screen.
Hermione: What do you mean bad?
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
Dumbledore: Well…Try to imagine your whole life stopping instantaneously and every monocle in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Hermione: In total entomic reversal.
"What's that?" Fred asked. All heads turned towards Hermione who paused the video and explained what it was.
Dumbledore: Yeah…So you see he has to compete. And…Hermione if it makes you feel any better the last guy that died in the tournament was Hufflepuff. So um, I'll keep my eyes open and nothing's going to get past ole Dumbledore. I gotta go make myself another sandwich. Though I don't know how it's going to be as good as the last one. The last one ticked!
They all howled with laughter (apart from Severus, whose lip curved) at the Hufflepuff comment.
"All these Hufflepuff jokes are killing me…" George murmured into the pillow Ginny had thrown at him because he couldn't stop laughing.
"Shut up George!"
Hermione (*as she walks back towards Harry and Ron*): But it was a bomb… Harry I'm so sorry but I think you're going to have to compete in the house cup tournament BUT don't worry, I won't rest until I find out what the first task is gonna be.
"Hey Harry, you knew that was going to happen didn't you?" Fred laughed.
"You have gained our respect again." George winked, slapping Harry on the back.
Ron: And I'll sabotage all the other champions so you win be default.
Hermione hit Ron around the arm.
"What did I do?" Ron yelled, turning to Hermione who was staring daggers at him.
"Oh you know to well Ronald."
Harry: Awesome…
Hermione then hit Harry around the arm.
"Ow! Hermione stop it!"
Draco (*being carried in by Goyle*): Well isn't this touching?
Ron (*While eating crisps*): Oh my god, just butt out Malfoy.
Draco buried his head in his hands as Fake Malfoy rolled onto the floor, everyone turned to look at him, howling with laughter. Even Snape gave the smallest of smirks.
Didn't this stupid girl think about how I would feel?Draco thought.
Draco: Goyal and I have a bet you know. He says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I disagree. I say you won't last five minutes on PIGFARTS!
Everyone's head turned to Malfoy, laughing their heads off.
"What's Pigfarts?" Sirius asked, laughing.
"How should I know!" Malfoy sneered back.
Everyone then looked at Hermione who shook her head.
Harry: What? Alright Malfoy, What. What is Pigfarts?
"Hey I just – We just –"
Draco: Oh! Never heard of it? Figures! Famous Potter doesn't even know about Pigfarts! *Rolls onto a bench then onto the floor*
Draco murmured "Oh my Wizarding God." Into his hand as everyone laughed at Fake Malfoy.
"Go on Malfoy! Do an impression of yourself!" Ron yelled.
Harry: Malfoy don't act like you don't want to talk about it. That's like the ninth time you've mention Pigfarts.
Draco (*Dramatic look*): Pigfarts is only the greatest wizarding school in the Galaxy. It's where I'm being transferred next year.
"Good riddance." Fred and George said at the same time.
Hermione: Malfoy I've never heard of it.
Draco: That's because Pigfarts…IS ON MARS!
They all bawled with laughter, even Malfoy let out a little chuckle.
Harry: You know what Malfoy. We're trying to have a conversation here. So can you just leave us alone?
Draco: Oh no, I'm not even here.
"Oh if only you would actually do that Malfoy…" Harry murmured.
(*Harry, Ron and Hermione talk*)
Draco: DUMBLEDORE? What an old coot! He's nothing like RUMBLEROAR.
Goyle: RUMBLEROAR!
"Who's Rumbleroar?" Remus asked Draco though Draco just threw a pillow at the ex-Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher – Remus looked a bit offended.
Harry: Anyway, I was saying –
Draco: Rumbleroar is the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion; who can talk.
"He sounds epic…"
Harry: If you don't mind, we're trying to have a conversation here. I mean, your
not even eating. Get out of here.
Draco: I can't help it if we can hear everything your saying, we're the only ones in here. Where are we supposed to go?
Harry: Er, I don't know. Pigfarts!
Ron and Hermione laughed.
Ron and Hermione laughed.
The pair of Gryffindors looked at each other, questioning themselves.
Draco: Oh haha, now your just being CUTE! I can't go to Pigfarts! IT'S ON MARS! You NEED a Rocket ship. Do you have a Rocket ship Potter? I bet you do… (*Rolls onto Harry, Ron, and Hermione's lap*)
"You still want me to do that impression Weaselbee?" Ron's ears turned remarkably red at Draco's question.
Draco: You know not all of us have enough money to buy out NASA when our PARENTS die. What is this? Rocket ship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the Galaxy with intergalactic travels to Pigfarts ooh.
"Whats a Rocket ship?" Ron asked.
"Never mind that Ron! Malfoy don't you dare talk about my parents!" Harry yelled, drawing his wand and pointing it at Malfoy.
"Get that wand out of my face!"
"It's not in your face it's in my hand."
"Get what's in your hand, out of my face." Ginny then threw a pillow at Harry who got the message and sat back down.
Harry: Alright that's it. This is the most misguided way to make me feel jealous. I don't care if you make fun of me but if you bring my parents to this it's a whole other story –
"I like this guy's sense of what's right and wrong." Harry murmured, pointing at Fake Harry.
Draco (*hangs onto bottom of a bench*): WOW! NOT SO FAST POTTER! OH CRABBE, GOYAL!
Goyle: BACK OFF NERD!
Harry: WOW I'M SCARED!
"What? No I'm not!"
Draco: So! Not so tough are you now Potter? Maybe you should hang out with someone better than that lollygagging ginger and his stupid mudblood girlfriend!
Hermione and Ron looked at each other, with shock on their faces as the twins wolf whistled. They slowly turned their heads back to the screen, though both blushing.
Hermione: That is it Malfoy! Jellylegs Jinx! (*Crabbe and Goyle fall onto the floor*)
Goyle: Hey no fair our legs are jelly!
"Obviously…" Severus murmured.
Hermione (*Holding onto Draco's tie and holding a wand to him*): Take it back Malfoy!
Draco: Take what back?
Hermione: Take back what you said about your stupid made up space school.
Ron: Yeah and all the stuff about Hermione being my girlfriend that's not even a little bit true.
Everyone smiled at this comment as it was now common knowledge that they actually fancied each other. Ron and Hermione shuffled away from each other a bit though.
Hermione: And say you're sorry for calling me a You Know What.
Draco: I'm sorry!
Hermione: And you promise you'll never do it again?
Draco: I promise!
"I'm not keeping that promise Granger." Draco mumbled.
Hermione (*dropping Draco*): Right. Now next time we ask for you to leave us alone you better do it. C'mon Harry, Ron lets get outta here. Besides, you already ate all my lunch.
"Yum…"
Harry: Thanks Hermione…
Hermione: Unjellyfy!
Ron: That was like the most badass thing I've ever seen. Too bad no one was here to see it though, it was like an outburst of pent up aggression. It was like Ahh Hermione! (*Ron, Hermione and Harry walk off*)
Everybody laughed at what Ron said about Hermione pent up aggression.
"I do not have any pent up aggression!" Hermione shouted, hitting Ron over the arm again.
"Could have fooled me…"
Goyle: Wow! That sucked royal Hippogriff. We got beat by a girl. Who is a nerd.
Draco was the only one who laughed at this, though, everyone, apart from Severus, gave him a dirty look.
Draco: I didn't mean what I said you know. Pigfarts IS real. Am I – Am I bleeding? Goyle? (*Goyle ducks down and sniffs Draco.*)
Goyle: No!
Draco: I maybe - maybe that – M- Maybe – Well I've never been pushed down like that by a girl. Maybe I shouldn't call her a Mud – Whatever.
"So unrealistic…" Ginny murmured.
"I know right." Draco replied.
"10 points from Gryffindor!" Snape said.
"What? Why?"
"For answering back to the Muggle equipment."
Goyle: I can't believe I couldn't figure out the counter curse was just Unjellyfy.
Draco: You're right. I'm not surprised. C'mon, let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place.
The screen faded to black and Hermione reached for the mouse, clicking the next part before Sirius or the twins could start jumping up and down.
"What's Wizards of Waverly Place?" Ron muttered to Harry.
"Beats me."
