Chapter 9
"It started when I was three; there is this tradition the Clan had. They would take their children to get their IQ tested. My father believed that a great ninja had an amazing fighting ability and smart enough to get out of any situation. Smart but just not smart enough to ask why when ordered to kill. Itachi did it when he was three. It was predicted that he would be a prodigy and everyone especially father was excited about that I guess. From what I heard anyways.
So on my third birthday father took me in. I remember thinking that it must be very important, because he took the day off from work and that never happens especially for me. Itachi told me to do my best no matter what. Mom gave me a hug and wished me luck. I didn't understand why it mattered; to me it was just a test. To them though it decided my fate in the Clan.
Everyone thought I was going to be another prodigy like Itachi. So when the test results came back an hour later no one expected it. The test adviser came to deliver the results in person to the house even it was that horrible. He told them that I was an Indigo child. That my IQ would be higher then a genius. That's when it all changed.
I remember father asking what that meant. The man explained that I am able to use both halves of my brain perfectly that I was going to be a very bright and creative child. I remember that everyone looked proud of me especially father I guess he thought that I would be another prodigy. That's when the man opened his mouth again he told them how they should influence both halves of my brain. That I was born to be in school and become something other then a ninja.
I looked over at my mom and she looked worried and upset, Itachi still looked proud and father well he just looked pissed and I mean absolutely furious. Later that night I went into Itachi's room and asked him why everyone was acting so weird. He told me to be careful that no matter what I should just be myself. Even if it meant that I didn't want to be a ninja. He wanted me to create and follow my own dreams; and he would always protect me.
I remember asking him that it was okay not to be a ninja that I really didn't have to be. He told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. That he loves me and would always protect me. Itachi he was the first person to actually read to me. It's weird the things you remember about someone and the things you don't. I remember that one day I asked if I could read instead of him I was only one and a half. Before I would go to bed and he would read to me then one night I wanted to read to him for a change.
Anyways that night before I went to bed he told me that he was proud of me, that he knew I would do well on the test. I went to bed then like maybe thirty minutes later father came in. he sat down on my bed and he asked me what I thought about being a ninja. I told him that I didn't know what I wanted to be yet. That how I was thinking about going to school instead; that was my mistake. I asked him how he knew he wanted to be a ninja. He told me that he's an Uchiha and all Uchiha's are ninjas; that I was going to be a ninja no matter what.
Then he hit me it started off with a hit or two a day. Then it went to a full out beating once a day; before I knew it, it was happening multiple times a day. Itachi would go on missions that took more then a day sometimes the abuse would last the whole time. Father would beat me and rape me; then he would tie me up and put me in my closet and lock me in. then a few hours later he would do it all over again until Itachi came back.
I just… it's happening all over again and it's what he calls me that hurts the most. The horrible things he tells me all day long just being stuck with him everyday. It hurts so much what he's done and told me. I miss him, Itachi he was always there to make me keep going. He would never let me give up no matter how much pain I was in."
Kakashi sat there with his arms around Sasuke. He was rubbing Sasuke's arms trying to help calm down his shaking. He sat there in silence just listening to Sasuke talk. He didn't need to be interrupted; what he needed was to have someone sit there and listen to him. For a change to have just someone to actually listen to him. That's exactly what Kakashi was going to give him. Sasuke took a few shaky breathes just trying not to cry again in front of Kakashi. Sasuke didn't know what Kakashi was thinking or feeling with all of this. He knew that he hadn't said anything or walked away so he figured he would just continue. He needed to get this out even if that meant Kakashi would walk away out of his life.
"I never told anyone I would just hide it all. He never hit me in the face so I could just wear long sleeved shirts and pants. Itachi knew something way wrong he would look at me certain ways and he would ask me all the time. I never told him I didn't want him to get in trouble. I was afraid that if he found out he would blame me and be mad with me. I wouldn't be able to handle that he was what I lived for he kept me going. I don't think he ever knew about that I never told him. Sometimes I wished I had told him what he meant to me maybe he wouldn't have snapped that night if he knew how much I needed him.
He walked in one father raping me the night the Clan was destroyed. That's how he found out about the abuse he walked in. He was suppose to be on a mission but he came back early apparently. He told me to leave to run and go to the academy and wait for him there. So I ran I ran away and waited only he didn't come back. I waited for hours and hours but he never showed up and it was dark and cold and I wanted to go back home so i did. Only to find them all dead and he told me that he was leaving I never knew why until they came back.
It's my fault that they are dead my father's right about that. If I hadn't let Itachi find us he wouldn't have been so furious and upset that night. He would have listened to reason instead of only feeling rage. They would still be alive and I wouldn't have killed them and destroyed his life. I'm sorry you probably don't want to hear any of this. I'm just complaining it could have been worse. I'm sorry."
"Sasuke I am going to make this very clear to you. You have nothing to be sorry for. Your father hurt you for no reason at all. You didn't deserve for him to do that to you at all. Don't ever apologize for that."
"I miss him so much; especially at night that's the worst being alone. It's always worse at night it's too hard to fight to keep going. Why can't he love me? He loves Itachi why am I so horrible to love? He's not suppose to be doing this; he's suppose to protect me from this not cause it. Why am I so horrible?"
The tears started to come again. Sasuke hated that he was crying he knew that it showed weakness. He didn't want to be weak anymore. He was sure that by the end of what he had told Kakashi that he wouldn't want to be his guardian. This was all breaking Kakashi's heart. He couldn't believe everything that Fugaku had done to Sasuke. Sasuke was suppose to be Fugaku's son he couldn't understand how a father could do that to a son.
Especially Sasuke he was so innocent and gentle and truly sweet. He hated how everyone judges Sasuke based on his name and family. He wasn't like any of his family at all. Kakashi was going to adopt Sasuke and get him as far away from Fugaku as possible. He had Itachi to deal with but he was sure he wouldn't mind. He had to work on Sasuke's self-esteem and to be perfectly honest he wouldn't mind Itachi's help with all of this.
It was clear that Sasuke missed him deeply. Kakashi had a feeling that he would need Itachi to get Sasuke away from Fugaku. He would have to talk to Tsunade about all of it. Right now he needed to focus on getting Sasuke better and asleep if possible.
"Sasuke you are an amazing kid and I mean that. Don't let what your father has told you go to your heart. I know that's unbelievably hard to do. He's your father and I know you want him to be proud of you. What Itachi did wasn't your fault at all he made the choice and even if he was upset and angry that doesn't mean it was because of you. Your brother had been through a lot in his life what happened that night between you and your father wasn't the only thing on his mind. He made the choice to protect you and to protect Konoha as a ninja and a brother he made the right choice. You can't blame yourself for other people's doings Sasuke. I am always going to love you just like your brother will."
"You…you don't hate me?"
"No Sasuke I would never hate you ever. I'm going to make sure that this doesn't happen ever again your father is never going to lay a hand on you ever again. You are safe in my arms you always be I promise. Now you need to get some sleep your body is exhausted and weak you need to sleep."
"I can't its not safe to sleep I can't."
"Sasuke trust me you are safe here in my arms I won't go anywhere I promise you. You are safe right here with me. Just close your eyes give in to the sleep. Shh it's okay."
Sasuke slowly closed his eyes and just listened to Kakashi's voice telling him it was okay to sleep to give in. Eventually Sasuke gave up to the darkness and exhaustion and feel asleep safely in Kakashi's warm loving arms.
