AN:: Thank you again. I think this is my favorite story right now. You guys are amazing.
I'm very anxious to hear what you guys think about this chapter as the story is definitely taking the turn that builds the whole plot.
Thank you again to Sammichbatch - she is perf and somehow puts up with all of my bullshit. I appreciate her so much and YES I will try and mention it every time because I'm so grateful for her input no matter how much of a brat I am.
As always- Reviews make me smile. You are loved.
Walking in to the station was the last straw.
It was the icing on the cake that told Emma she had some place she belonged. She had people, and now something she was good at was sitting right in front of her, something that needed to be done and she had the skills to do it.
The fact that Graham was acting like a dick, ordering her around didn't matter. In a few weeks she was sure she'd be better at his job than he was, and could hold her own anyway.
"What are we doing?"
Regina smiled and put her finger to her lips, telling Henry to hush. "We're giving Emma some essentials."
"What are essentials?" Henry looked at her with a little wrinkle in his nose.
"It means basic things that someone should have. Turns out, she doesn't have very much in her apartment, so I got some of our old stuff out of the garage."
They made it to the top of the stairs and Regina put down a box of art she'd taken out of the room that became Henry's, and pointed to the floor for Henry to set his box of dishes and silverware down, then pulled out a note pad for him to leave a note on her door.
A few more trips and Emma had a couple of chairs and a small coffee table, along with an extra lamp and their old microwave.
They giggled all the way back down the stairs and waited for the text from Emma. And sure enough an hour or so later she called and said thank you, asking if they'd like to come over and help her set it up inside the apartment.
"Also that stretch of road between 5th and Main... and 5th and Pine needs repair, definitely more than..."
Regina kept going in and out of the meeting. The money was there, why didn't they just decide amongst themselves and tell her which road they were fixing next? She didn't care. She dealt with that pot hole just outside of her driveway for years and she wasn't complaining.
It didn't help that the urge to puke and fall asleep kept taking turns consuming the part of her brain that should have been nodding and looking over paperwork that was constantly being pushed toward her. But all she could think about was crawling back into bed and leaving the town to their own devices for a few hours. Not that she didn't love her job - it was both fulfilling and-
"Regina?"
She looked up at the same time she felt something moving down her lip quickly. Her hand reached up to touch her nostril and sure enough there was blood covering the top of her finger.
Sydney handed her A Kleenex from the other side of the table and she took it quickly. But it didn't seem to do much with the faucet that turned on inside her face. She turned and apologized to the board members and rushed for the restroom, only imagining all of the ridiculous things being said in her wake. The pressure of being Mayor was not finally getting to her, and she was still just as fit for the position as she was when she was elected.
"Just a nose bleed. Not only women get nose bleeds." She grumbled to herself.
But looking in the mirror she sighed. She pulled at the bags under her eyes between cleaning her face, and knowing she was far more tired than she usually was.
It was just the wedding. She was just stressed.
Emma kept watching Regina's eyes close and her shoulders lifting in the stretches she held her breath. That was between the blank stares, empty nods and rubbing the dark circles under her eyes. She wouldn't lie - it worried her a little, for Regina too, seeing her lack of togetherness in a place as public as Grannies.
"I mean the paperwork isn't awesome but it's not... Regina, are you sure you're alright?"
Regina just nodded and blinked her eyes forcefully. "It's just early."
"It's not any earlier than it usually is?" Emma rested her head on her hand and frowned.
"I know."
"What's up?"
Regina shook her head and tried to gulp down more coffee but it wasn't sitting well with her this morning. "I'm sure it's nothing."
"Yeah? It kinda seems like something." Emma pushed her hot chocolate back and forth between her hands slowly. "Nothing seems to get to you. You just seem out of it, ya know?"
"I do." She took a deep breath, but that feeling in her stomach and her throat didn't go away.
"You want water or something?"
She nodded. "That might be-" But her hand went over her mouth instead as she felt the first heave before she'd really have to puke.
As she ran into the rest rooms she stopped denying herself that something was wrong.
Emma didn't wait either, simply shrugging away the confusion on Ruby's face and going after the older woman. But there wasn't much she could do other than twist her hands and watch as Regina threw up what little breakfast she had. So she peeked her head out and motioned for the waitress.
"Ruby!"
She just looked at her.
"Can you get her some water?"
"Is she okay?"
"Please." She rolled her eyes and knelt down beside Regina and rubbed her back, hoping that's what you did when someone was puking.
But she flushed the toilet and wiped her mouth right as Ruby brought the water in.
"Thank you." Regina nodded and sat back as Emma took the glass.
Emma just sat there for a second before Regina started to cry. And that's when she didn't know what to do at all. What could she do? She didn't do tears - not with herself or anyone else.
"Can I tell you something?"
Emma nodded carefully.
"I think I have cancer." She just shook her head and wiped her mouth again.
Emma handed her the water, feeling her own stomach turn at Regina's shaky hands.
"And I've been so tired.. I keep having these awful nose bleeds, I can't stop throwing up, I have no appetite." Her lip curled under again. "It just terrifies me. It sounds so much like cancer symptoms to me and I'm scared."
"How long has it been going on for?"
Regina shrugged. "About a month?"
Emma looked at the floor and picked at her nails. "Do you think.. maybe you're pregnant."
"No." Regina took another piece of toilet paper and dabbed at her eyes. "The nausea would have started earlier, right? A-and nose bleeds-"
"Are normal for pregnant women. You have more blood in your body... everybody's different but that's what it sounds like to me."
She looked back at the blonde. "Really?"
Emma nodded and tried to smile even though her insides felt like they were being beaten into a pulp with all of her stupid emotions.
"I have a doctor's appointment next week.. I'm just nervous." She took another drink of water and sighed.
"Have you said anything to Graham yet?"
"No." Regina said quickly. "He's had other things on his mind... the wedding, I'm sure. I don't know."
"So.. do you want someone to go to the doctors with you?" Fuck. She realized after she said it, she shouldn't be the one to stand next to her and hold her hand. She was putting herself in a position that would make her feel way more important than she was.
Thankfully Regina smiled and shook her head. "No, you don't have to do that... I think it'd be better by myself. I'll have more time to prepare to tell the boys."
"Don't think it's cancer."
"I can't help it. My mother had it - but thankfully it was only ovarian cancer and they caught it early. She had her hysterectomy and nothing's ever come up again. It just makes me nervous."
"But if you think it, you'll only stress yourself out more. It might not be anything."
Regina smiled. "That might is still scary though."
"I don't know."
"And then what if it's a baby?"
"I. Don't. Know."
Ruby crossed her legs and looked at Emma. "Well, you have to be thinking about this stuff. I mean, I would if I were you."
"You're thinking about it anyway because you're a nosy shit."
"That's true."
Emma sighed and took another big swig of beer, not paying any attention to the wonder Breakfast at Tiffany's was supposed to be. Straight girls would probably be more impressed.
"You could always run." Ruby shrugged.
Emma hit her arm harder than she meant to. "Fuck you. I've put in way too much time here."
"And you care too much." She rubbed her arm with a glare. "I was just reminding you."
"I didn't forget."
"But you thought about it. It's easier than sitting there and watching Regina build her life and a whole family with someone else."
"Can you stop-" Emma rubbed her eyes and took deep breaths. "If I don't think about it, then it's fine. I mean.. I'm just grateful for them, when I don't think about her. They let me come over for Christmas!" She looked at Ruby and tried to blink away all the tears welling up in her eyes. "I've never got to celebrate Christmas with anyone. Like getting and giving presents. Sometimes they'd give us used stuff at the shelters, but... I've never been with a real family before. I'm just going to try and enjoy the fact I have people now. Even if I'm not a part of their family they still wanted me there. "
"She wanted you there."
"Her and Henry. Please stop ignoring he's the only reason I'm here. I doubt she'd even talk to me in general if it weren't for him."
Ruby laughed. "Of course not, you're disgusting."
"You're awesome. I mean you're such a great person? How have you not won a humanitarian award by now?"
"Batty Blanchard gets all of them."
"Wow." Emma rolled her eyes. She got up and threw her bottle away only to get another. "Speaking of, is she always weird with everyone? Like.. I feel like she just looks at me funny."
Ruby grinned over her ice cream and shrugged. "Maybe she's into you."
"Shut up - I'm being serious."
"No.. she's always been weird. My mom went to school with her and Grannie said she got knocked up in high school but no one ever saw the kid... and then she became this weird loner and never dated again. Or did anything other than school."
"Oh."
Ruby turned around. "Just oh?"
"Well, that doesn't make her weird... she was probably just hurting. Giving up a baby is hard."
"It was a different time, though. Getting pregnant in high school made you... I don't know I was trying to say something smart, but basically people stopped talking to her."
Emma sat back down. "I wonder why she didn't just leave."
"I don't know. Nobody does."
They just sat there for a while before Ruby did her makeup and went to the diner for the evening shift, leaving Emma to wonder if this lady felt half as lonely as she had for most of her life.
Before she even started to her door, she wanted to go to sleep. No helping with homework or making dinner, she just wanted her bed and to sleep for as long as possible.
But entering her home, all of Regina's attention went to getting to the kitchen as fast as possible. She couldn't understand the individual words, just the fact that they were being screamed and Henrys crying behind it. And then everything was processed in hyper speed- Graham's finger shaking in Henry's face, and the helpless look he was giving back. She moved in between them and pushed her fiance back and knelt down to hug Henry hard. The fact the little boy only cried harder and held onto her fiercely only worried her more.
"Don't baby him, Re-"
It didn't take her a moment before she snapped around and glared at him. "No."
The growl set the Sheriff on edge, though his glare stayed there.
Regina stood up and moved Henry behind her, keeping her thumb rubbing little circles on his arm. "Get out."
"Wh-"
"I don't want you to say anything. You're not going to talk to my son that way. Ever. I don't care what happened, that's unacceptable."
He took a step forward looking down at her. "What's unacceptable is the fact you don't punish your child. He thinks he can-"
"Honey, go upstairs, I'll be there soon." She moved him gently.
But Graham's hand shot out to stop him. "He can stay."
Regina pushed him back with a force he'd never seen before, and walked Henry to the stairs. He ran up, and no sooner was the Mayor back in the kitchen, vibrating with a fire in her eyes.
"I swear if you defend him-"
"Get your shit, and leave." Her arms crossed in front of her and her voice was just over a whisper, but she stared at him with her jaw set. "You can spend the night at the station. I'll move the rest of your things to the guest room until you find yourself a new place to live."
His mouth hung open.
"I don't want to see you talking to Henry again. I don't care if he sets fire to the church you call me and I'll handle it."
"You're being ridiculous."
Regina shook her head. "No, I think I'm finally seeing things clearly."
"Because I'm taking the fatherly role in his life? I'm finally giving him actual discipline? You're going to call off everything because I'm doing what you're too soft to do. He needs consequence in his world - all you do-"
"Screaming and belittling a child is not being a father, it's being a bully. You're a grown man, and he's eleven years old."
"He's a spoiled brat! You don't see that?"
Regina took her ring off and threw it in his face. "You know what I see? A coward. A man who's threatened by a little boy. Instead of being an adult, and caring for him and teaching him, you're projecting - you think making him feel as small as you feel, that you'll win. So congratulations. You've won your freedom. I expect you gone by the end of the week."
There was yelling behind her, but Regina just walked away.
Glass shattered and she just closed her eyes and kept up the stairs, went into Henry's room and held him tight. She kissed his head and apologized more times than she could count, telling him how much she loved him. He just kept crying until he fell asleep, and Regina still didn't leave - she waited until his breathing evened out and his mouth fell open before she cried.
Emma glared at the door as she opened it.
It was the first day she was supposed to open by herself and the door was already unlocked. Her skin pricked beneath the collar of her jacket, as she jogged back to her bug and got the aluminum bat from behind her seat before going back in.
The last thing she expected to see was the Sheriff snoring on the small cot in the jail cell, his boots hanging off the end.
Scratch that - the last thing she expected to see were the deputy sheriff papers sitting on her desk, presumably put there by Graham himself.
Without thinking, she went over and shook him with the end of her bat.
He woke with a start, putting his arms up as if to protect his face. "What?"
"Are you drunk?"
"No!" He scoffed, but coughed and rubbed his eyes like he was going to be grappling with a mean hangover in a few minutes.
She just looked at him like a pair of dirty underwear that wasn't her own. "Did Regina tell you to give me the application?"
Graham groaned and sat up. "No, I put it there."
"What? Why?"
"You're qualified." He said, a little more angrily than she thought was appropriate.
Emma shrugged. "Yeah, but I've only done like four shifts. How would you-"
"Just fill it out. Okay? Regina wants you to. Just do it."
"I thought-"
"I'm going to get coffee."
He walked down the hallway with heavy steps, coming back in to get the keys to the patrol car and his wallet, leaving Emma with a weird feeling and paperwork she was already filling out.
Regina swore she'd cycled through every chair in that damn waiting room about six times. Blood work shouldn't take so long to come back - good, bad, or in between.
Finally getting called back made tears well in her eyes from anticipation alone. In the back of her mind Emma was on repeat telling her she was pregnant; I don't think it's cancer. Maybe that was why she didn't understand when the Dr. Whale said it. She had him repeat himself a few times before the tears actually rolled in. And all he could do was stand there, eventually sending a nurse in because they weren't happy tears.
Regina called the office and told them she wouldn't be in today, thinking over options and hating what little she had to choose from. Yet not telling Graham wasn't an option she could consider. And even in racing home it was one of the longest drives she'd ever taken. The patrol car was in the driveway, and with the way her entire stomach was churning she was surprised she didn't have to make a pit stop to throw up her breakfast in the bushes before she went in.
There were more stairs than she remembered, and the house seemed so different.
"Graham?"
She heard shuffling from her room and opened the door slowly, watching as he glanced back at her, then kept going through his things.
"Graham, we need to talk."
"Oh?" He threw a few more clothes in a bag and ran a hand through his hair. "What about?"
"I know you're angry-"
"No. I'm not angry at all." Sarcasm oozed from his tone, wrinkling his nose for a moment before his eyebrows went up. "I'm peachy. What do you want to talk about Regina."
A knot in her throat appeared and she cupped her elbows in her hands, hesitating. "..Have you found somewhere.. Are you going anywhere in particular."
"Grannies for a week. Then I have a flight to Virginia Thursday."
"Virginia?"
He nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I got accepted into training for the FBI. So I'm leaving." He stood up again, tossing things between the trash and a duffel bag. "I gave Emma the deputy application, so after you approve that, all you'll have to do is promote her after I leave."
"You didn't tell me you applied for the FBI."
"I didn't think I'd get in." He shrugged like a child.
Regina gulped down the anxiety in her throat.
"I don't think I would have gone, but I guess I don't have anything to stay for now."
He didn't look back at her like he expected her to say something like she expected him to. But he didn't seem confident in himself either.
"Graham-"
"You know what bothers me about all of this? More than anything?"
She shook her head before tilting it up to blink back tears.
"How... what, five years of me keeping my mouth shut - letting you deal with him by yourself, and the minute I try and put a foot down and act like a parent, which is something you should do when I'm about to be his step father, you kick me out. You just-"
"That's not what a parent does." Her lip finally turned under and she wiped tears away carefully. "Parents love and protect. And I should have stepped in far sooner than I did, but I honestly thought it would just hit you one day. You'd have this feeling, because you've known him since I got him that you would just love him. But you went in.. the complete opposite direction and I won't put my son through having to walk on eggshells so you can assert your dominance."
Graham nodded with a sneer. "Alright, Regina. Okay."
There was a long silence and Regina turned away to try to compose herself. "Graham."
"What!?" He yelled. "What. Is there left to say? I'm leaving, Regina! I-"
"I'm pregnant."
His head swiveled back on his neck dramatically. "Are you fucking joking?"
She hid her face in her hands as the sobs ripped from her body, simply shaking her head.
"You're kidding. Is this some pathetic attempt to keep me here?"
"No." She leaned against the door frame heavily and kept dabbing away tears. "Absolutely not. I don't want to marry you regardless, but you're the father, so you should know."
"I don't believe you."
She shook her head. "You don't have to. I'm telling you so my conscience is clear. Go - I'll be fine."
"Right. I'm not fit to be a parent anyway, right?"
He pushed past her a few moments later, carrying the majority of his clothing with him.
The brunette gave up the fight with her sorrow and cried into her palms, feeling helpless and alone. It was the exact opposite of what she'd imagined telling Graham she was pregnant would be a year ago. Her heart broke for the life she was so ready to lead.
She spent the next few hours gathering up the rest of his things and wandering around the house checking everything over to see if she missed anything. Everything from his toiletries to the jewelry box he made for her and in between ended up in the corner of the front room waiting to be taken away. Her mind swam back and forth from what her life could have been like and what it might be now, and wondering if maybe he could still change, even though her gut told her it wouldn't happen. The fantasies of Graham seeing his child for the first time drifted in and out, thinking of ways to tell Henry... or when to tell him. Everything seemed so overwhelming and unfair.
By the time Henry opened the door, Regina calmed herself enough not to let tears slide from her eyes anymore. Not that the will wasn't there- every possible emotion could prompt them at any second. And sure enough, his silent hug made her throat start to close up and her eyes burn all over again.
"How was school?"
He nodded. "Good."
Henry looked at her in understood ignorance - knowing he couldn't understand what she was feeling, but happy she was just his mother again.
"Where's Emma?" She asked.
He looked at the door. Regina followed his eyes and saw the blonde holding a sympathetic smile with both of her hands in her pockets.
She closed the door and Henry took another embrace from his mother before bounding up the stairs.
"Henry told me what happened."
Regina nodded and led them both into the living room.
"Or.. most of it."
She massaged her own neck. "They were just.. fighting. Henry said he was doing the dishes and putting the wine glasses back in the liquor cabinet..." She gulped and shook her head. "And Graham thought he was going to take alcohol? He's eleven- he.."
"You don't have to talk about it, but... If you need any help-" Emma tried to look at her the way Regina had, with all of that compassion.
Regina sat down and shook her head, looking toward the stairs.
It took a few moments before Emma could get the courage to sit down next to her, just waiting. Her chest was tight, hating herself for still loving the way Regina's lips turned down at the ends as she stared off at pictures on the mantle.
Finally she sighed and prepared for the water works again. "He was... I came home from work and he was just screaming at Henry, and Henry looked so scared... and I let that happen. And I hate myself. I hate that I would put so much hope into just making this family for him, that I couldn't see all of the pieces didn't fit together. Graham's not ready for that." Her head rolled forward as her fingers caught her forehead. "And I'm pregnant..." She threw a teary smile in that looked completely forced. "But I told him and he didn't care. He's leaving for-" She looked back up at Emma trying to keep all of the words going. "He's always wanted to join the FBI but he's really going. I don't think I care he's leaving, it's just the fact he doesn't care- I'm going have a baby alone and I'm not getting married, and Henry had to go through over a year of me not being present for him, how can I go from Graham to a new baby-"
Emma scooted forward and put Regina's arms around her neck quickly, hugging her tightly and rubbing her back hard. "It's okay."
She'd never done it before, but comforting Regina was like breathing. It was easy, and letting her cry onto her shoulder made her feel like she had a purpose. She took deep breaths, trying to get Regina to follow them to calm her. But she needed to let go, and if Emma was ready for anything, it was to be strong for someone else. The past six months let her forgive the world for a lot that had happened to her by giving her these people. Now she was ready to give back to them. It didn't matter if she got back the love she'd only just accepted. The point was she had it. She had love to give and support to offer, and something to stick around for.
"Regina.." She pulled back and put her hand over Regina's wrist.
She kept crying, but Emma smiled, thinking how beautiful she was crying too.
"I don't know wh-what to do."
"That's okay." Emma smiled and put her other hand on Regina's elbow, letting her thumb slide back and forth gently. "You don't have to do anything for a minute. You can just breathe.. and figure things out as they come. But you can stop worrying about Henry because he loves you. And you are a great mom. You already raised one amazing kid on your own and you can do it again."
She looked up at Emma, still sniffling.
"But you don't have to." She shrugged. "I'll help? I mean I don't know anything, but I'll learn. You let me get to know Henry, and have somewhere I feel... I've never thought I'd have anywhere I would feel I belonged. But I love you guys." She took a breath, saying it out loud hitting her for a quick moment. "I love being here. And-"
Regina leaned over and hugged her harder, collapsing into tears again, but nodding nonetheless.
She went right back into damage control and held on to the brunette with a force.
"Thank you."
Emma smiled sadly, knowing Regina deserved better than what was happening to her. "Of course."
After Regina got hold of herself again, she let go of the blonde and dabbed at her face.
"You're going to be okay."
She nodded, then smiled awkwardly. "You were right."
Emma turned her head.
"It's not cancer." Regina took a breath and let herself lean back against the couch, her hands naturally falling over her middle.
It was clear the reality was hitting her - it wasn't something she was rushing to tell, or resenting herself for. Her life was about to change all over again. Emma saw it all playing out on her face before she could say it.
Regina looked down at her hands in awe. "I'm having a baby."
