Lost in the seas of forgotten memories Chapter 9
Natasha was in the gym gearing up to go for a run. After the 'exciting' day they all had yesterday thanks to their resident idiot she really needed to change the pace of her day. A run would definitely do the trick. She glanced around as she crouched down to tie her shoelace - the Captain was usually here by now.
"Looking for someone?" A familiar voice asked from behind her. She was getting better at the people randomly appearing out of nowhere thing - she was only startled on the inside now. She calmly turned around to see Steve drop his gym bag beside her.
"Maybe." She replies vaguely. He chuckled.
"Am I really that predictable?" He asked sheepishly. She shrugged.
"Only the little things. I'm sure you're plenty spontaneous in the field." She said casually.
"Why is that?" He asked curiously.
"Because you would be dead otherwise." She replied simply. He rolled his eyes.
"Ever the pessimist." He said with a shake of his head.
"Pessimists don't have high standards that will disappoint them when they're not met." She said with a faraway look.
"Is that one of those spy things you brought with you from Russia?" He asked calmly.
"No it's just a shitty life thing." She said blankly.
"Oh trust me - I know all about having a shitty life." He said knowingly.
"You weren't always so buff and muscly were you?" She asked curiously. He shook his head.
"Used to be the scrawniest shrimp on the block. Ended up being the town punching bag just because no one would stand up for a small kid like me." He said with a shrug. She nodded staring at her knotted shoes.
"I used to be the Russian definition of a child soldier - except my skill set was different." She said nonchalantly. He winced.
"My childhood sounds like a walk in the park compared to what you've been through." He said shamefully. She stared at her hands and shook her head.
"No...there are different kinds of horrors people face in life. I'm sure they are all painful in their own way." She said wisely. He still looked uncomfortable but accepted her olive branch for what it was.
"You've never talked about you past before." He said quietly taking a seat beside her. She gave him a sad smile.
"Maybe I'm tired of always keeping my dark and depressing past a secret after all these years." She said casually.
"You always had Clint to talk to if you ever started to go a little crazy." He said thoughtfully. She nodded.
"I did - I really would've gone insane without him. Which makes me wonder - who's been your rock when the ghosts start knocking on your door Cap?" She asked curiously. He thought about that for a few moments and groaned. She laughed at his reaction.
"It's Stark isn't it?" She guessed. He nodded reluctantly.
"Yeah Stark was the most unexpected shoulder I ever thought I would cry on - let alone the fact that his over inflated ego allowed it. Not surprisingly though he's absolutely terrible at comforting people - it was like he had never done it in his life!" Steve exclaimed. She snorted.
"Cap I think you forgot about who we are talking about for a second." She said dryly. He laughed.
"Yeah maybe just for a second." He said as they shared a little smile.
"What do you really think about Stark, Natasha?" He asked suddenly. She was caught off guard by his straight forward question. The Captain obviously didn't beat around the bush.
"He's definitely not what I expected." She confessed hesitantly.
"Not all playboy and show off is he?" Steve said with amusement.
"Maybe not so much the playboy but he definitely is a big attention junkie - no doubt about that. And he is just as annoying on TV as he is in real life." She said dryly. Steve shrugged - you can't win them all.
"Any redeeming qualities?"
"He scored a girl like Pepper." Natasha replied immediately. He burst out laughing and she couldn't help but join in.
"Trust me - none of us saw that one coming." He said truthfully.
"It boggles the mind."
"If you look at it now they are perfect for each other - in a weird twisted way." He said thoughtfully. Her face scrunched up in distaste.
"How twisted?" She asked carefully. He chuckled.
"He gets a kick out of her aloofness to all his charms and she enjoys putting him in his place every now and then." He explained. She tilted her head to the side and slowly absorbed what he said.
"Okay I can see how that would work now." She conceded reluctantly. He smiled victoriously but then his smiled dimmed slightly into a grimace.
"What's wrong?" She asked worriedly. He shook his head.
"It's nothing." He said avoiding her questioning look.
"It's definitely not nothing. If you make faces like that then something definitely unpleasant has crossed your mind. I would know - I make that face a lot." She said perceptively. He winced - he could never hide anything from her.
"It's just...sometimes I feel jealous whenever I look at them for too long." He said slowly. She raised an eyebrow.
"You're jealous of Stark?" She asked curiously. He shook his head.
"No, not him specifically - I'm jealous of the stable and reliable relationship he has with Pepper. Sometimes...sometimes their happy is too loud." He said quietly. She nodded understandingly.
"You'll find someone one day Cap - you're not that hard to love. If Stark of all people found someone who could stand him you should be able to sweep a girl off her feet no problem." She said reassuringly. She never had to console someone about relationship woos...she was a bad person to ask for romantic advice in general. She's never had a stable relationship in her life.
Oh the ironies of life.
"Guys like me don't do relationship though Natasha." He said with a heavy sigh.
"Why is that?" She asked curiously
"I'm a liability - there's no guarantee I'll still be here 6 months from now. Then there's the nature of my job - half the things we do is super classified. I would never be able to tell her most the missions that we go on. Then there is my crazy past and the fact that I live with the most psychotic group of individuals on the planet - no offense - but our team is crazy." He said apologetically. She shrugged - why deny the truth?
He took a deep breath.
"I'm the living definition of complicated. What girl would want that?" He asked sadly. She shook her head.
"You have self-esteem problems that rival Bruce Banner's - and that my friend is a noteworthy accomplishment." She said in utter disbelief.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He asked warily. She gave him a piercing look.
"The question is - do you even want my advice?" She asked leaning back in her seat. He pondered that thought for a moment.
"Sure what the heck - what's your advice?" He asked - it wasn't like he had anything to lose.
"Stop searching for real understanding and companionship outside your life - you're definitely not going to find it out there. You'll be surprised what you overlook in your day to day routine and how many established relationships you take for granted." She said sensibly. He raised an eyebrow.
"Are you saying love is in the air on the helicarrier?" He asked incredulously. She wrinkled her nose in distaste once more.
"I didn't mean the helicarrier specifically - but maybe someone who works for SHIELD?" She said cautiously. He shrugged.
"I never really saw SHIELD agents as the romantic types." He said dryly. She snorted.
"Majority aren't - but I have a feeling you're done with the flashy side of love." She said with a knowing smile. He chuckled.
"Once was more than enough."
"Did you ever seriously like someone at SHIELD Cap?" She asked curiously. He paused and shifted in his seat awkwardly.
"I did...but she had unavailable written all over her. It was obvious enough that you could see it from a mile away." He said warily.
"Ouch - what kind of unavailable?" She asked. He stared at his hands and hesitated.
"I'm pretty sure her partner died." He finally said quietly. Natasha sighed.
"You always fall for the tough ones don't you Captain?"
"What can I say - complicated is the norm in my life - why would romance be any different?"
Memories memories memories memories memories memories memories memories
It was the day after his abrupt conversation with agent Hill - and was he pissed about that! Just because she is second in command doesn't give her the right to just gallivant into danger like it's no big deal!
'Actually it kind of does' the traitorous side of his mind said idly. He clenched his fists and barely restrained himself from causing bodily harm - how messed up would that be?
'Shut up! No one asked you for your stupid ass commentary!' He thought to himself angrily.
'Hey you're the crazy person having an internal argument with himself.' His opposing half said. Clint groaned and banged his head against the wall.
"That's it. I've officially gone crazy." He muttered to himself.
Ring. Ring.
He groaned again. The obnoxious ringing from his SHIELD phone was back to haunt him once again - and this time he had an idea of who it was.
He reluctantly picked up the phone.
"Agent Barton - this is Agent Jones. We have a nonnegotiable mission to get started as fast as possible." Was the first thing he heard. Clint rolled his eyes - SHIELD was always so dramatic.
"Is it an Avengers mission?" He asked warily.
"No it's a mission for agent Romanoff. You need to brief her on all the major changes now. She's needed on a mission in 48 hours." Jones said firmly. That got the archer's attention.
"What? What happened to probation?" He asked bewilderedly. She can't possibly go on a mission when she was only 3 weeks into recovery!
"Evil doesn't wait for agents to heal from accidents before striking again." Jones said frankly. Clint suddenly narrowed his eyes. He smelled something funny - and he doesn't think he's going to laugh.
"Why do you need her specifically?" He asked suspiciously.
"The target holds a key to a piece of information SHIELD must acquire at all costs. And then there's the fact that he is a known womanizer." Jones said guardedly, preparing for the out lash.
"No! We've discussed this before - she stopped doing the seduction missions!" Clint shouted angrily into to phone.
"That's not your call to make."
"You bastard - you're going to use her amnesia to get her back into the espionage game aren't you?" He asked angrily.
"Watch yourself Barton. You may be married to her - but the minute we deem you compromised you're out." Jones said warningly.
"Are you threatening me?" Clint asked in disbelief. After all these years of perfect service they actually had the balls to throw the one good thing that happened to him in his face?
"No, I am simply giving you some advice." Jones said placidly.
"Do you want me to tell you where you can shove your advice?" Clint asked blankly.
"You can be on the team too Barton, but rest assured - she hasn't taken a mission in 3 weeks - she will take this one, regardless of how untasteful it may seem. Ball is in your court Barton - there are only so many plays you can make." Jones said carefully.
"I hate people like you." Clint said harshly.
"Someone has to be the bad guy. I don't pick the agents or make the missions - I'm just the messenger. Think about that for a second." Jones said calmly.
Damn it the bastard was right for once in his slimy life. Clint growled in frustration.
"Fine I'll tell her - but I want control of the operation - I have enough clearance and field experience for that." Clint said firmly. He knew when he was beaten, but they had another thing coming of they thought he would just sit back and watch this disaster play out without doing anything.
"You can't do the leg work and run the show Barton." Jones said cautiously.
"Oh yeah? Try me. We've been doing all the shit ourselves in the avengers since day one. Keep up with program Jones - you might get left behind." Clint said mimicking the same tone the mission handler had used 2 minutes ago.
"You're mocking me."
"Just giving you some helpful advice." Clint said with shrug. He could practically feel the stare Jones was burning into the phone. After a few tense moments of silence Clint heard a reluctant sigh at the other end of the line. You win some you lose some - that was definitely a win.
"48 hours. Pick up the mission files and make your team. We need this done by Friday." He said grudgingly.
"Done."
"Don't make me regret this Barton." Jones warned.
"Always nice to do business with you Jones - later." And he hung up. He spun around and stalked out of his room - he had shit to do.
Memories memories memories memories memories memories memories memories
Clint walked into the Avengers common room after making a quick stop on the helicarrier to get the mission details. He needed to make a team...but maybe the one he already had would be interested before he went looking for annoyingly inefficient agents. Always nice to shake up the type of missions the Avengers do.
"You want us to do what?" Tony asked in disbelief. Clint shrugged.
"It's an espionage mission. Pretty straight forward. We infiltrate the party, bug the meeting that's going to take place upstairs and corner the messenger when he comes in to deliver whatever files SHIELD doesn't want in their hands." Clint explained. He kind of figured this wasn't their normal idea of a mission from the bewildered looks they were all giving him.
"Why would the Avengers need to do a mission like this? I thought this was SHIELD agent specialty or something?" Steve asked puzzled. Clint shifted hesitantly.
"This isn't an avenger's initiative - it's a regular SHIELD operation. If you don't want in that's fine." He said offhandedly. He got a lot of raised eyebrows in response. The avengers never turned down a challenge - their persistence is what makes them so damn well efficient.
"That is all well and good Clint - but if this is a mission does that not mean that Lady Natasha is still banned from accompanying us?" Thor asked curiously. Natasha nodded and crossed her arms.
"I was wondering the same thing. Why am I in this meeting if I'm still on probation?" Natasha asked slowly. Barton winced.
"Actually you're probation just ended this morning. This mission is only mandatory for you - if you think you are medically well enough to take it." There, He said it - it physically pained him to do it, but he did. A part of him secretly wished she would say she's not ready to go back into the field so soon, but the rational side knows she would never turn this opportunity down. As she would say - she's a goddamn ex-Russian spy.
"Wow - it didn't take SHIELD long to come crawling back and beg me to go back into the field again." She said simply. They all snorted.
"Whether they actually need you to successfully accomplish this mission is debatable - the fact that you are the best agent they ever had is not." Clint said firmly.
"Wait a minute...who is running this mission anyway? Why are you telling us this?" Bruce asked curiously. Busted.
"If you all are up for it, for all intents and purposes I am in charge of this operation. Basically I get to call the shots." Clint said with a mischievous grin. There was a collective groan that resonated around the room.
"We're doomed." Tony said banging his head against the side table. Natasha rolled her eyes at their dramatic reactions.
"Barton has led missions before - if you're going to be a chicken about it you don't have to come." She said casually.
"I'm not a chicken!" Three voices shouted in unison.
"Prove it." She said leveling each one of them with a challenging stare. They all glared back at her. She glared harder and eventually forced them all to look away reluctantly. It was good to be king.
"Fine! We're in - just don't get us killed." Tony mumbled unhappily. Clint nodded and then they all glanced at the only person not to have made a decision yet. Bruce awkwardly pushed his glasses up from the tip of his nose and coughed hesitantly.
"I think I'm going to sit this one out guys." He said tentatively.
"Why is that? You always go on missions with us doctor." Steve said in confusion.
"The espionage scene is not my forte. The other guy gets antsy in crowded places. Besides - my acting is terrible." He said feeling extremely uncomfortable being scrutinized by all their stares.
"No one said you had to be in the party to be on the team." Tony said as he pulled the mission file closer to him. There was something off about this mission - there always was. Intelligence agencies were notorious for fearing intelligence. What were they trying to hide this time?
"That's true - someone has to be our base contact person." Clint said with a nod.
"You're going to put Thor into the field and the doctor on standby? Are you even listening to yourselves?" Natasha asked in disbelief.
"Yup. The doctor won't screw up any of our expensive equipment and the big guy has the prefect role for this mission." Clint said with an evil grin. Tony looked through some of the team notes and burst out laughing.
"What's Thor supposed to be?" Steve asked already dreading the answer. Tony nearly laughed himself to tears.
"H-He's going to be HER BODYGUARD! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Tony said as he started to turn red from all the laughter.
Thor and Natasha did not look amused. They both wore the exact same unimpressed expression.
"I don't need a bodyguard." Natasha said darkly. At the same time Thor said, "This role is too degrading for an Asgardian Prince!"
Barton looked at the two stubborn peas in a pod.
"An heiress to a multibillion dollar insurance company needs a bodyguard - deal with it. Missions require you to suspend all embarrassment and be willing to undertake any necessary actions for the success of the assignment - deal with it." He said seriously. Natasha raised an eyebrow.
"You're still sore about that one time you had to fake drag aren't you?" She said knowingly.
They all froze as they heard her comment ring in the silence that followed.
Cricket...cricket...cricket...
"Say one word and I will make two of you a gay couple in this party." Clint said threateningly.
They all wisely remained silent - but it was obvious they were laughing hysterically on the inside.
Badass Badass Badass Badass Badass Badass Badass Badass
Finally going on a mission! Wahooooo! Review if you liked this chapter! I haven't heard a peep from about 75 of you! XD A special cookie to those of you who caught my 100 days of Tony Stark madness references! :D
