I won't write a long AN, so just get on with the reading!


Marissa was back with Luke. Ryan laughed at how ridiculous their whole relationship had been. He had just dumped her two days ago, and she was already back with Luke. No, he didn't feel used at all.

The weekend had been one long, horrible battle with his stomach. Every time he thought about… no. He couldn't think of it now, because he'd have the urge to throw up again. He stared at the floor as he walked through the school. That way, if he passed her in the hall, he wouldn't see her. Or Hunter. Anger flared over his nausea.

"Hey," Summer sat next to him on the couch. "How are you feeling?"

"Um. Like an idiot?" She didn't laugh. Instead, she patted his arm sympathetically, which was worse.

"You'll win her back," she gripped his hand.

"I don't want Marissa back," he told her, not wanting to have this conversation.

"Well, good to know, but I meant Taylor." His surprise must have shown on his face, because she laughed at him. "Please, everyone knew you and Marissa didn't go well together. All that drama? But don't worry. Taylor will come around."

"I'm not so sure," the bile was rising in his throat. "She's 'officially' with Hunter now."

"How do you know that?"

"Because she said she was gonna sleep with him after Homecoming." He needed to get to a bathroom, or a trashcan. Summer was silent.


Taylor walked through the halls, ignoring the stares she got. Word must be out.

"Taylor," Seth Cohen ran over to her, slowing down to walk next to her.

"Hey," she smiled as best she could. "Doing some recon?"

"What?" he laughed nervously. "No."

She rolled her eyes. "You haven't talked to me in over a month, now all the sudden we're friends? You're snooping."

"I swear, Ryan didn't…"

"I was talking about Summer," she interrupted.

"Oh. Yeah. Summer totally sent me. But could you not tell her I told you, cause she'd kill me…"

"Scouts honor," she told him, smiling. "Now, what do you need to know?"

"Oh, she wants to know if you and Hunter… you know." She raised an eyebrow. "You know…" she stayed silent. "Are you going to make me say it?"

"Yes. It's your punishment for spying."

"Fine. She wants to know if you boinked Hunter."

"Boinked?" Taylor giggled. "That's fascinating phrasing."

"Just answer the question so I can report back to Summer."


"Ryan." Summer sat down next to him. Students were filing in, and she only had a minute before the teacher would start class. "I have news."

"Can't it wait?" he glanced over at her, then up at the teacher, who was beginning to write on the board.

"You don't want to wait," she breathed. "They didn't."

"Who?" Ryan was getting tired of all the talking.

"Taylor and Hunter. She didn't sleep with him." Summer was beaming, searching his face for some emotion.

"Oh."

"That's it? 'Oh'? That's the reaction?" She slumped back in her seat, disappointed. "Here I was thinking…"

"Sorry Summer, I have to go," he gathered his books distractedly, and began walking out of class.

"Mr. Atwood," the teacher called. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. I don't feel good. I have to go to the nurse." The teacher shot him a skeptical look, but let him go, citing perfect attendance up to this point. Summer smiled to herself, crossing her arms smugly.


Taylor focused on the Japanese in front of her. She had figured that since she already knew Korean, Japanese would be easy. Apparently not. She didn't hear the door to the classroom open.

"Can I help you?" the study hall teacher asked, rubbing her forehead.

"Yeah. The dean needs to see Taylor Townsend," the frightened boy whispered. Taylor looked up, startled, at the freshman in the doorway. The teacher waved her off, knowing Taylor Townsend wouldn't intentionally skip.

"Why does she want to see me?" Taylor whispered once they were out in the hall. "Am I in trouble?"

The boy pointed at a classroom before running away in terror. Taylor went in, shaking from her nerves. She had no reason to be in trouble. Maybe it had something to do with the play. Maybe the dean didn't like some of her script revisions…

"Ryan." She halted, looking around the empty classroom like it was a trick. "What…" her voice trailed off. He wasn't looking at her. She stood awkwardly by the door, waiting for him to respond, but he never even acknowledged she was there. "Ok, well… I'm gonna go…"

"Marissa and I broke up."

"Oh?" her voice was flat.

"After Homecoming. She told me I needed to put 'one hundred percent' into our relationship, and I told her I wasn't up to it."

"Oh?"

"I went to your house. Your mom wouldn't tell me where Hunter lived."

"You met my mother?"

"Yeah. She wasn't too fond of me." Taylor nodded, processing everything. "She kept telling me how perfect Hunter was for you."

"Ah."

"Are you going to say anything?" he finally looked at her.

"I'm… not sure what to say," she stepped further into the classroom, sitting down on the teacher's desk.

"You didn't sleep with him."

"I see you talked to Summer."

"Ok, can we stop this whole banter thing?" he walked over to her.

"Fine. What do you want to do then?" she blushed a little at the way his gaze darkened.

"I want to know how you feel about me."

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Ryan, does it matter? You accused me of cheating on you, then got with Marissa while we were –technically broken up, yes – but still."

"Marissa and I didn't do anything. She kissed me, you walked in, and it was all very soap-opera. And this whole Hunter thing? It just… bothered me."

"No," she exhaled sarcastically. "And while the news about you not cheating on me makes me feel a little better…" she shrugged. "This is just too hard."

He moved to stand in front of her, resting his hands on her shoulders, looking desperate. "It's not too hard. Taylor, you have to realize I've never done this relationship thing before. All the girls in Chino? They were one night stands, I barely even remember their faces. Even Theresa was more like a 'friends with benefits' thing. So… knowing Hunter and you had this long lasting relationship bothered me. Because even though I've been with more people than you have, I never felt anything for them. Except you," he amended when she glared at him. He was relieved when her face broke into a small smile.

"Ryan," her hands fluttered over his stomach and her voice dropped to a whisper, "I never felt with Hunter half of what I felt with you."

"Oh."

She smiled, gazing up at him through her lashes. "Yeah. Oh."

"Well, see, I just feel stupid now," his right hand ran from its place on her shoulder to play with her hair.

"You're so stupid," she shook her head sadly, heart rate speeding up. He gripped the hair on the back of her head, forcing her to look at him.

"Hey," he growled in mock anger. She mewed, seeing his darkened eyes. He leaned forward.

"Ryan," she whispered, halting his progress. "Is this such a good idea? You just broke up with Marissa, I just… I'm not sure what I did with Hunter, but it's just all a little sudden." She watched multiple emotions flicker through his eyes, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

"Yeah. Too soon," his voice was rough, and he let her go, putting distance between them. "Too soon…"

"Ryan…"

"Are you sure it's too soon?" he stalked back to her, tangling his hand in her hair again. "Cause, see, I don't think so."

"Ryan," her voice was a little shaky, but amused. "Can we just take it slow? I mean, the first thing we did was sleep together – and yes, I started it – but I want to make sure that's not all our relationship was based off of."

She could hear the restraint in his voice. "Sure. But… how slow are we talking? Is it no sex period, or can we do everything but…"

"Taking it slow means we start off doing nothing at all, then build up to it." He looked disappointed. "But I promise, when we get there?" she leaned up, kissing the hollow below his ear, "I'll blow your mind."

Ryan barely registered her breathless laugh. His eyes were shut tightly, trying to control the whirlwind of emotions – first and foremost, lust – that raged through him. He wanted to tell her to screw going slow, and take her right there on the desk. But he didn't want to make her angry, so he let her slide off the desk and leave the classroom – saying something about calling him later.

He walked slowly to the back of the classroom, taking a seat in the last row. Resting his head against the desktop, he willed himself to calm down. He wasn't exactly sure what just happened. Were they back together officially? Was he on probation? Were they going to hide it?

He didn't care. All he knew was that he got to be near her again, got to touch her, got to hold her. It didn't matter what restrictions she put on their relationship, because he had her again. He smiled against the cold surface of the desk.


Taylor walked towards her classroom, hand pressed against her stomach. At the last second she made a u-turn, and dashed into the girl's bathroom. Supporting herself on the counter, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, watching the rush of emotions flicker across her eyes. It was a little overwhelming to be feeling so many things at once, especially since she had spent this past month pushing all those feelings away. There was excitement, first and foremost, but she remembered that feeling all too well – it was the first thing to shoot through her every time Ryan came within twenty feet of her.

Then there was guilt – that it was going too fast, that she was getting back together with him too soon. Plus, she still felt awful for how she treated Hunter. She had led him on, led him to believe she would sleep with him, only to turn him down at the last second – and if she was completely honest with herself, it wasn't all because of Ryan's message. She had known from day one that she didn't want Hunter.

Hope was there, too, making her heart flutter wildly, making a smile rush to her face. She tried to suppress it, but it wouldn't go away. Hope bubbled in her chest, and she couldn't stop its progress. There was a part of her that told her to shut up and let herself be happy. But there was also another part…

Fear. And surprisingly, it wasn't because of gossip, or what people would think of her, or how Marissa was sure to try and destroy her. It was caused by Ryan, and that made her feel even worse. She was afraid that he would do something like this again, become too unsure of their relationship and let it crumble.

"Stop." Sometimes she had to talk to herself out loud, in order to really get something to stick. "Just stop it," she told herself, looking her reflection square in the eye. This wasn't Ryan's fault – well, not fully. Yes, he had been stupid and insecure, jumping to unnecessary conclusions, but she had too. They were both at fault, and she just had to make sure that, in the future, if he freaked out, she would keep a level head.

In the future, her mind repeated, and she couldn't help the heady rush that made her knees weak and her head spin.


Do you all approve? Let me know! Next time: a shower, confessions, and an unfamiliar feeling.

Review!