Chapter nine!

Nothing much to say…except that Spring Break is ending. Boohoo!

Kurama: Kohaku does not own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Hey, I just noticed! Kurama's girl name's like mine!

Kurama: Wonderful powers of deduction you have there.


SHE'S THE MAN
By Kohaku Minamoto

Chapter 9. Does This Make Me Look Fat?


Yusuke slowly spun in front of the mirror, surveying her reflection with a critical eye that she did not normally use. She was dressed in a dark purple swimsuit of the halter-top variety with a patterned sarong tied around her waist, her hairpulled back in a ponytail.

"Something wrong, Yusuke?" Kurama asked, coming over.

"Does this – geez! What are you wearing?"

Kurama glanced down at the pale white two-piece patterned with Hawaiian flowers that she was wearing and self-consciously shrugged, smoothing the short skirt-bottom. "This is what the girls bought me," she said defensively.

"Doesn't mean you have to show off that much skin!" Yusuke folded her arms across her chest and scowled. "At least you're not fat," she said grudgingly. "Otherwise my eyes would've been burned out of my head already."

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me?"

"Does this make me look fat?" Yusuke asked, twirling around. Kurama tilted her head to the side, then shook her head.

"You look just like you always do, Yusuke."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oops. I mean…er…you look just fine."

Kuwabara came into the room dressed in a turquoise two-piece similar to Kurama's with a sarong tied around her waist like Yusuke. Yusuke covered her eyes. "Oh! My eyes! My poor virgin eyes!" she cried dramatically. "It burns!"

"Thanks a lot, Urameshi," Kuwabara retorted, her hands on her hips. Her red-gold hair was twisted into a French braid. "I think I look pretty good."

"What a fool," Hiei snorted from inside the bathroom. Yusuke knocked sharply on the door.

"You done in there?"

"Yes."

"Well? Aren't you going to come out and let us see?"

"No."

"Aw, come on!" Yusuke whined.

"Go away, detective."

"What's there to ashamed of, Hiei?" Kurama asked. "We're all girls…at least, now we are."

"Ooh, is the shrimp scared?" Kuwabara teased.

"Don't try to con me into coming out," Hiei snapped. Kurama soundlessly made her way over to the door, plucking a seed from her hair. She pressed a finger to her lips in response to Kuwabara's questioning look and mouthed 'keep her busy' as she gently pushed a tiny bit of her energy into the seed, making tendrils snake through the lock of the door.

"I saw the swimsuit that Shizuru gave you," Yusuke continued badgering the poor Jaganshi, a smile on her face. "You're too short for any of the adult sizes, so she bought a child's for you. Must be pretty embarrassing."

"That's not true," was the muffled response.

"I don't believe you!"

"Believe it, idiot!"

"Why don't you come out and prove it then!"

Kurama stood up, holding the end of the plant in her hand. "Surprise, Hiei," she muttered, pulling her hand back to make the door swing open.

"...Go to hell, fox."

The shortest member of the team was dressed all in black.

Duh.

What made Yusuke stare was the way that Hiei was wearing the swimsuit. She had taken the tank-top style top of a two-piece (patterned with a silver dragon; go figure)and coupled it with a pair of boys' swimming trunks. In the words of Botan, she looked very 'tomboy-chic.'

"Geez, Hiei…"

"What?"

The fire apparition was saved from further teasing by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Kurama called.

"It's us," came Shizuru's voice. "Now let us in before I bash the door off its hinges."

Kurama hurried over to the door and swung it open before Shizuru could go through with her threat. Kuwabara's sister, Keiko, and Yukina filed in, followed by Botan and Ren. Keiko grinned when she saw all four Spirit Detectives standing sheepishly against the wall, looking like a group of little boys – ahem, girls – that had been caught playing dressup with their mothers' clothes.

"You all look great!" she said happily. "It's nice that you're actually wearing something over the bottoms of your swimsuits."

"What do you mean?" Kuwabara asked curiously.

"Well…uh…" Keiko flushed and shifted around. "It…"

"No one can see if the swimsuit goes up your butt," Shizuru said bluntly. She placed a cigarette between her lips and lit it. "By the way, there's a pretty big crowd in the audience. Looks like a lot of them are guys that want a chance to see a bunch of cute girls in swimsuits." She smirked, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. Yusuke snorted and flipped her hair back in an exaggerated motion.

"Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint the boys, would we?" she simpered sarcastically. Ren grinned.

"No we wouldn't, so let's get moving, shall we?"

"We'll be rooting for you in the crowd!" Keiko called. The four Spirit Detectives slipped their shoes on and followed Ren and Botan out the door and into the hallway. Ren spun around and looked seriously at the team.

"You've all got your necklaces, right?"

"Sure."

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"…"

"Hiei?"

"I have the ridiculous thing."

"Good." Ren motioned Botan over. "You guys do your best, 'kay? If you need anything, you know what to do."

"Use the necklaces, right?"

"Yep. Now get out there and kick butt just like you always do." Ren and Botan walked the other way down the hall after they dropped the team off at the entrance to backstage. "See ya later."

"Hey, Kurama," Yusuke muttered as they walked backstage and sat in the section marked 'Cinderella Rejects.'

"What is it?"

"…Is the bet still on?"

"Oh…I think so."

"Because one of the security guys just asked me to go out with him. So…" Yusuke smirked, "I think I'm winning."

"Not necessarily."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because of these." Kurama pulled two tiny pieces of paper out of her hair.

"Do you keep everything in your hair or something?" Yusuke snatched the papers away from her friend and began reading them aloud. "'I love you, my redheaded goddess. Hope you win in the competition.' 'I sit in class, writing problems to solve, but the only thing I can think is one plus one equals LOVE. Good luck, sweetheart.' Oh my god, Kurama."

"Slightly embarrassing."

"Do you plan on answering them?"

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. There's no number written anywhere or anything."

"Did Kuwabara get any date requests?"

"I think so. I think it was another anonymous note, but she ran away before I could ask."

"Haha. So it's you in the lead and me, Hiei, and Kuwabara are tied for second. But it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm still gonna win."

Kurama didn't have a chance to answer, because just then the loudspeaker turned on and drowned out all other sounds.

"WELCOME TO THE YACHIRO ANNUAL GIRLS' COMPETITION! WE HAVE A HUGE TURNOUT THIS TIME, WITH TWENTY-FIVE VERY PROMISING TEAMS COMPETING FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE REGIONALS AND GO ONTO THE NATIONALS ROUND! NOW, PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO START OFF THE SWIMSUIT COMPETITION!"

A loud chorus of whoops and yells sounded, mostly from the male portion of the audience.

"FIRST OFF, WE HAVE THE TEAM 'UNITY.' THEIR MEMBERS ARE…"

Yusuke tuned out the sound of the loudspeaker, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. Kurama was watching the flatscreen TV that showed the teams sashaying across the stage in all their scantily-clad glory, no doubt analyzing the opposing teams and storing the information away for later use. Hiei looked just as bored as Yusuke on Kurama's other side and was picking viciously at a loose thread on the seat of her chair.

"NEXT UP IS 'ETERNAL WINTER,' THE WINNERS OF LAST YEAR'S COMPETITION!"

"Yusuke, we're the team after this one," Kurama said urgently, standing up. The other three mirrored her motion and walked over to the side of the stage.

"NOW HERE'S AN UNUSUAL NAME! WELCOME THE 'CINDERELLA REJECTS,' ONE OF THE TEAMS COMPETING FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS YEAR!"

"All right, girls." Yusuke loosed her arms and took her place at the head of the line. "Let's go and rock the show."


Cliffie! Haha!

Well, hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Kind of cheesy, I know, but chapter ten will be out soon if you all review!