Title: "Careful With What You Wish - Chap 9: Predilection"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA. It requires knowledge of the 'X' manga. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), some OOC, a bit of sappiness, twisted relationships, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, violence, general insanity and other stuffs I might have forgot... Deal with this fic with caution...
Notes: This is dark and twisted, dark and twisted, dark and twisted... have I mentioned it's dark and twisted? It's born to show a less nice Seishiro, how bad is Fuma's idea that Wishes must be fulfilled and how stubborn can be Subaru no matter what happened to him.
Warning over notes: This fic has notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. However I suggest you to read the notes AFTER you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks:
To Jennifer for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
To Moko, Tanuki-dono, Meffie, Sakanagi and Yupita for supporting me while writing this fic! Thank you a lot!
Summary: After meeting Subaru in his Maboroshi 16 years ago Seishiro chose to keep him and placed him under a spell so that he would obey to him. Now, in the year of the destiny he has to face Sumeragi Hokuto who wants her brother back and Monou Fuma's obsession for fulfilling wishes...


'We should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.' Andy Rooney


"Can't get enough kotoba yori mo motto
Don't let me down tashika ni misete hoshii
One more night kusuka ni kizutsuita
Kimi wo mitsumeru me sono saki ni
Uragiru tame ni umaretekita
Kuchibiru wo togisumase
Muimi na rikutsu ni mata muragaru
Orokashisa ni PREDILECTION."
("Can't get enough, it's more than words
Don't let me down, I want it to be revealed
One more night, even if a scar remains
The eyes you look into were the first you saw
I was only born to betray
My lips, in the end, feel sharp
You're lost in a cloud of meaningless reason
In your foolish predilection.")
(Yamaguchi Kappei - "Predilection")

Sakurazuka Seishiro was bored. Watching Kamui and his pet while they were attempting to destroy the Sunshine was no fun at all. Not only was there no real battle but also they were taking things too slowly and without any care for artistry. It was messy and gruesome, and Subaru-kun, after a couple of minutes, had refused to watch the show any longer.

Not that Seishiro was complaining about that, since now Subaru-kun was hiding his face against Seishiro's chest as the man held him in a comforting embrace, occasionally sliding his hands over the boy or kissing his slender neck slowly. Well... it was not so occasional... maybe it was time to take their leave and find a room... Subaru-kun made another tiny whimper of distress, clinging to him more as he heard someone screaming in pain and Seishiro groaned and mentally cursed Kamui for the interruption. If the boy got Subaru-kun out of the mood again he...

Then, without any apparent reason, Subaru-kun raised his head and rudely broke their contact. Seishiro looked at him in surprise, still keeping his arms firmly around the boy, stopping him from moving further away. That sudden withdrawal wasn't like Subaru-kun at all.

"Someone is coming..." the boy announced without paying attention to Seishiro as he frowned lightly as if concentrating. "Someone... the Ten no Ryu's Kamui, I think," he concluded, returning his gaze to Seishiro, looking at him expectantly as if he was waiting for instructions.(1) Seishiro frowned and pulled the boy back against himself, holding him tightly. He didn't like being reminded that his Subaru-kun was connected to the Ten no Ryu's Kamui. He didn't like his Subaru-kun being connected to anyone but him. Subaru-kun was his after all. Why should he share him with someone else?

Subaru leaned into Seishiro-san's embrace obediently but he turned his head a bit to watch the little drama that was about to take place. He didn't really want to, but he had a feeling something important would happen and that he shouldn't miss it.

Reaching the Sunshine didn't take too long for the Ten no Ryu's Kamui. The Chi no Ryu's Kamui was waiting for him with an anticipating expression. Seishiro had no idea what he planned for the boy, but he was sure it wasn't going to be nice. He had heard tales about what had happened when the two Kamui awoke. Satsuki-chan had managed to watch the show thanks to her Beast and had reported the meeting in her calm, practical voice while they were all drinking tea around a table. Subaru-kun had refused to keep eating and had felt sick shortly after. Kigai had looked a bit impressed but not in the positive sense of the word.(2) Kuzuki had been his usual apathetic self. Kanoe had pretended to not care but she had been disturbed all the same.(3) Nataku, as usual, had no opinion on the matter. Kamui had entered just after Satsuki-chan had finished her tale, had smiled nonchalantly, had sat next to them, had poured himself a cup of tea and had asked for some sugar to put in his tea with the same calm one would have used had the others just been talking about meaningless matters and not of how he murdered his sister and nearly killed his best friend. Seishiro had handed him the sugar, smiling charmingly, and had immediately decided he would never turn his back to that boy. And leaving Subaru-kun unsupervised with that teenager was out of question. He didn't really care if Kamui tortured and destroyed the whole world's population as long as he kept away from Subaru-kun and him.

"Do you think they'll fight a bit, Subaru-kun, or will they go straight to the sadomasochistic sex?" he asked the boy as they watched the two Kamui just stare at each other as if they were waiting for some sort of signal before starting the battle. Subaru didn't reply as he stared at the scene as well. He had a bad feeling, a bad feeling he hadn't been able to shake since Seishiro-san had been summoned by the Chi no Ryu's Kamui the day before, and he desperately wanted to leave, to take Seishiro-san away, to make sure the Chi no Ryu's Kamui wouldn't be able to hurt him. Instead he was frozen there, his fear bottled up inside him, wishing he could snuggle into Seishiro-san's embrace and hide there, and yet unable to tear his way away from the scene in front of him. He took notice of how the younger Kamui looked like an helpless kid, nothing like the overconfident, unfriendly teenager they had seen three months before, and this gave him an odd sense of connection with the boy. He pitied him, but at the same time he wanted everything to end soon. He hated being able to only watch, and he knew he couldn't help in any way.

In the meantime, action had started. The Ten no Ryu's Kamui was trying to save an old guy while the Chi no Ryu's Kamui was throwing energy blasts at him and talking, probably trying to mess with his head as well.(4) Subaru knew that the teenager should have raised a Kekkai, really, but he didn't and, to make matters worse, lowered his guard enough to allow the Chi no Ryu's Kamui to grab him by his neck and raise him from the floor. It shouldn't have been a good situation. Seishiro-san leaned down on him and resumed kissing his neck. Evidently he didn't find the show the two Kamui were giving very intriguing.

"Do you think we can go home now?" Subaru asked, forcing the words out of his mouth. He wasn't really looking forward seeing more gruesome deaths or, as Seishiro-san suggested, the two moving into sadomasochist sex. In fact, the whole matter was making him sick.

"Well... definitely the whole show is rather disappointing," Seishiro commented as he took Subaru-kun's hand into his and then kissed it lightly, stroking gently with his thumb the Sakurazukamori's mark on the back of it, totally unaffected by what one Kamui was doing to the other. All he had noticed was that he had been presented with a definitely pitiful fight that couldn't possibly cause Subaru-kun to develop a Wish Seishiro was unaware of. And, as Seishiro had expected, Subaru-kun wasn't enjoying the show if the slightly nauseous expression of the boy was a hint. Why had he let the Chi no Ryu's Kamui's words bug him when they were so obviously an idiocy the boy had conjured up to annoy him? He should have remained home with Subaru-kun doing things much more pleasant then the ones he could do in the open, over the roof of a building that would likely crumble under their feet as soon as Kamui finished destroying the Sunshine. "I think as soon as our Kamui gets rid of the other Kamui we can leave," he decided after giving a gentle kiss to Subaru-kun's cheek, his arms securely wrapped around the boy.(5)

Subaru nodded then managed to turn toward him, trying to hide his face against his chest. He could feel the Chi no Ryu's Kamui's power collecting around the teenager and he didn't want to watch as it was released against the other helpless Kamui. Seishiro-san immediately caught the chance to involve him in a passionate kiss. Subaru didn't really approve of kissing while another was about to die, but he wasn't going to complain. He never really complained about Seishiro-san's actions, he just submitted to them obediently. Besides, he too needed a bit of closeness and some demonstration of affection. He leaned into the kiss, hoping it could erase the world around them, and felt Seishiro-san holding him even tighter and... and they both interrupted the kiss roughly as they sensed an Onmyoujutsu spell being used and immediately returned their attention to the battle.(6)

"It's that girl again," Subaru-kun stated, a hint of surprise and interest in his normally emotionless tone as he unconsciously moved closer to the scene, placing more distance between himself and Seishiro than the latter would have liked.

"Yes. Let's hope Kamui will get rid of her too," Seishiro replied annoyed as he passed his arms around Subaru-kun's midsection and immediately dragged the boy back against his chest. He didn't know why, but in that moment he felt the imperative need to not let go of him, as if Subaru-kun could be stripped from him at his first distraction and he would never allow that to happen.

Never.


Hokuto wasn't really enthusiastic about the situation she was in. She wasn't even a Ten no Ryu, and she couldn't create a Kekkai like them... not to mention she definitely didn't feel strong enough to take Fuma-kun and another Chi no Ryu. But she had seen Kamui-chan in trouble and she felt the need to help him. Being around Kamui-chan kind of reminded her how it had been to be around Subaru. She wasn't going to let Fuma-kun hurt Kamui-chan but when Fuma-kun turned toward her...

"Oh... a guest came to save him..." he said with a kind smile and a polite tone, and for a moment she though she was hallucinating. He had looked like... he had looked like her Subaru but that couldn't be... it couldn't be, right? And anyway, she had no time to waste. She had to buy time so the other Ten no Ryu would have the chance to join her, because there was no way she could win this battle alone.

Buy time.

Easier said than done, especially considering the precarious state of the buildings around them.

"Kazuki. Please, kill her," Fuma-kun said then, with another sweet smile that looked so much like the one Subaru had when he had been a child, and her heart ached for a long, full moment before her mind managed to take control. Great. Really what she needed. A Chi no Ryu set on killing her. Oh well, she decided as Kamui-chan screamed her name, she would prove to them that Sumeragi Hokuto was tougher than she looked.


Meanwhile Seishiro and Subaru were still watching the scene from the top of a nearby building.

"I'd say her plan is just to escape from Kamui's pet," Seishiro commented, mildly annoyed that Subaru-kun wasn't paying him any attention, no matter what he did, completely focused on the fight. He hated to be ignored by Subaru-kun and it was all that girl and Kamui's fault.

"She's not doing bad..." Subaru replied hesitantly. However he knew very well that, in the long run, what the girl was doing won't be enough. She was merely trying to buy time, hoping one of the other Ten no Ryu would come to help, but she was no match for her adversary.

"She won't make it anyway," Seishiro stated, not really pleased by the fact that Subaru-kun had praised her. "Let's go, Subaru-kun. We've watched enough and I'm bored," he added moving away while lightly pulling Subaru-kun in the direction he was taking. Subaru-kun turned to follow him, then paused all of a sudden and returned his attention to the battle, escaping Seishiro's hold as a new development took place.

"Kamui is going to fight her!" he exclaimed, and as he walked even closer to the scene he felt a weird sense of anxiety at the idea. He had no idea what had got into him, maybe he would have even tried to reach the Sunshine when Seishiro-san gripped his arm, stopping him. Subaru found himself trapped between an instinct he couldn't explain to himself and Seishiro-san's will. He looked from Seishiro-san to the battle in confusion.

"Subaru-kun. Kiss me," Seishiro-san said in a commanding tone. Subaru blinked, the idea seeming completely out of place considering what was going on, and yet not understanding why he should feel troubled when he had kissed Seishiro-san with no real problems not long before, when the younger Kamui was in a situation even worse than the girl's.

"If you want to..." he replied, moving to obey hesitantly. He would never disobey him, but he was still distracted by the battle as he kissed the man and Seishiro sensed it. The Chi no Ryu's Kamui's words came back to his mind, haunting him.


'I think you're the one who doesn't know him at all. He has a Wish, Sakurazukamori, as do you. I'm merely inviting him there to help him to fulfil his Wish.'


No. Subaru-kun didn't have a Wish. He couldn't possibly have one. Subaru-kun was happy with him. There was nothing else the boy Wished for. That girl held no place in Subaru-kun's heart or mind. He was the only one who mattered to Subaru-kun. He held the boy even tighter, deepening the kiss, stubbornly wishing to cut Subaru-kun out from the rest of the world, to be the only one holding the boy's attention and for all the rest to be meaningless to him, as it was supposed to be. As it should be.

"Seishiro-san..." the young man whimpered when Seishiro-san started to become a bit rougher. He didn't understand why Seishiro-san was behaving like this, as he didn't understand why one corner of his mind kept insistently worrying for that girl, refusing to be shut up. It wasn't like he knew her, she was a complete stranger to him, so why was she capable of making him feel so involved?

He gasped as, all of a sudden, he found himself laying back, Seishiro-san over him. The man couldn't be planning...

"Seishiro-san!" he called almost desperately as a blush coloured his pale cheeks.

"What?" the man asked in a husky voice, his golden eyes filled with something Subaru couldn't recognize. It wasn't lust and yet it seemed to burn even deeper and he had no idea how to deal with it.

"We're on the top of a building!" he exclaimed, embarrassed. Seishiro-san liked to embarrass him but he had never pushed him in such a situation before, never. He...

Seishiro-san frowned.

"So?" he asked as he stared at Subaru, his eyes burning into the boy's as if he couldn't comprehend Subaru's discomfort or didn't want to. Or maybe he just didn't care.

'So?' he asked himself. So he didn't like it but Seishiro-san wanted it. He was behaving like the whole thing mattered a lot to him and what mattered for Seishiro-san mattered for him too. He could do it. He could do it even if he didn't want to do it.

"Okay. If it's what you want..." he replied uneasily looking elsewhere, firmly shutting up the corner of his mind that was screaming he didn't want it.

At his reply Seishiro released the breath he was holding and kissed him again.

Subaru tried to relax, tried to forget the world around him as he raised his arms to wrap them around Seishiro-san's neck. He wanted to make Seishiro-san happy. He wanted to make Seishiro-san happy. He wanted to make Seishiro-san happy so badly! It was just... Seishiro-san paused and stared at him.

"You don't want this," the man stated and his voice sounded distressed as he blinked as if confused. Subaru blinked too, confused as well.

"You don't want this. So why are you doing this?" Seishiro-san asked him and there was some distress lingering in his voice. Subaru didn't understand. Why was he asking him that? Which sort of question was that?

"Because you want this... don't you?" he replied simply. It was all that mattered to him. Seishiro-san's wishes. Even if they could hurt him he wanted to fulfil them.

Seishiro frowned.

A doll. His Subaru-kun was nothing but an obedient doll without will. A doll he had created. He wouldn't refuse him, not because he wanted him, but because he couldn't turn him down. He had no choice but to submit. Seishiro owned the doll-surface but not the man behind it. And, if Kamui was right and he was starting to fear he was, the man behind it had a Wish, a Wish over which he had no authority.

It wasn't fair.

Subaru-kun was his. He wanted to own every part of him, and yet that girl that Subaru-kun didn't even remember had managed to catch Subaru-kun's attention much more than him. He couldn't allow it and yet he knew he had no jurisdiction over the man behind the doll-surface. He could control Subaru-kun's will with his spell. He couldn't control his soul. He couldn't have it. He stood hurriedly, rudely dragging up Subaru-kun as well.

"Let's go home, Subaru-kun," he said hoarsely. He didn't want to be there one minute longer. He refused to further expose Subaru-kun to that girl's influence. He refused to share him with her.

His.

Subaru-kun was his.

His most prized possession, his greatest treasure. His only companion.

He wouldn't share him with anyone.


'Why did I ask Satsuki to get all that data? Because Kazuki said he didn't want to return to the lab. He just Wishes to stay with me, and I'm going to fulfil his Wish. Surprised, Sakurazukamori? Some people don't need to put others under a spell to have someone who is willing stay with them...'


The memory of Kamui's words coming to him suddenly didn't help to improve his mood, quite the contrary. Kazuki Wished to be with Kamui. Without his spell would Subaru-kun still...

He refused to try to answer to that question.

He noticed that Subaru-kun was looking at him, confused. He rested a hand on the boy's cheek gently.

"You're mine Subaru-kun, aren't you?" he asked. Subaru-kun rested his hand over his, leaning against his touch as he always did.

"Of course, Seishiro-san," he assured as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

That could have make things better, could have postponed the problem, hadn't a huge blast thrown by one of the two Kamui taken Subaru-kun's attention away from him again. Immediately Subaru-kun turned, trying to go to see what had happened, but before he could do so Seishiro grabbed his arm and started dragging him in the opposite direction.

"Let's go home, Subaru-kun. This battle doesn't regard us," he stated, walking away. Subaru didn't dispute Seishiro-san's request but tried to cast a last glance at the scene of the battle. Seishiro noticed and dragged him closer, wrapping an arm around Subaru-kun's shoulders, stopping him from turning, keeping him as close to him as possible.

Subaru-kun was his. He would never share him with that girl, no matter what. He was going to own him fully, mind, body and soul. He just... had no idea how to do it without removing the spell, and removing the spell wasn't an option. For once, Sakurazuka Seishiro was at loss about what to do.

To be continued...


JJ's Notes:

1. The manga isn't exactly clear on this but I assumed the Ten no Ryu might sense each other's presence. They might sense a Chi no Ryu's presence too but with a bit more difficulty. The same works for the Chi no Ryu. They sense each other and might feel a Ten no Ryu if they concentrate. This is why Subaru sensed the Ten no Ryu's Kamui's presence sooner than Seishiro.

2. In the manga Yuto looks like a person who cares for the ones who are his teammates. I assume he wouldn't approve what Kamui had done to his sister and to his best friend.

3. No, Kanoe didn't care for Kotori and Kamui but she said in the manga that the Chi no Ryu's Kamui gave her an unpleasant feeling and what he did was pretty gruesome...

4. The guy Kamui is trying to save is Tojyo Motoharu, owner of the Tojyo Seiyaku and Kazuki's grandfather. For who doesn't remember the lab in which Nataku was created was in Sunshine 60 underground.

5. Seishiro said 'our Kamui' talking with Subaru because even if the Chi no Ryu's Kamui is technically his only he assumes that since Subaru is his, he's also bounded to stick on the Chi no Ryu's side.

6. Subaru and Seishiro are the best Onmyouji of the whole Japan. It looks sensate to me they would feel interested should someone use Onmyoudo around them.

JJ's Extra Notes:
Let's make immediately clear two things.
Subaru can't go to help Kamui or Hokuto. He's under a spell and while he might wish to do so since Seishiro didn't wish him to do it he can't do it.
Second, Hokuto is definitely weaker than Kamui or Nataku. She has no chances against them. However she's not totally helpless. She'd been trained and so she can manage to hold on a bit against Nataku. Not long. Had the Chi no Ryu's Kamui be serious, she would have been killed at the first blow but he only wanted to toy with her.
As for the rest... Subaru and Hokuto are somehow connected, Subaru more than Hokuto since he has higher spiritual powers.
Yes, the manga is quite different from the anime and in the manga Nataku too is involved in the battle over Sunshine while Daisuke isn't even present. Always in the manga the Chi no Ryu's Kamui didn't immediately face Subaru but first tell to Nataku to fight with him. When Subaru does fairly well in the battle he decides to take Nataku's place. There are other differences but they aren't really important for the story.
On a side note... Yamaguchi Kappei, the singer of 'Predilection' had been Subaru's voice in the 'Tokyo Babylon' OAV.

Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Kekkai: Shield
Maboroshi: Illusion
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyouji: "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill who threatens Japan
Seiyaku: Pharmaceutical
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven


Replies to reviews:

To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!

To Dark Angel Of Fire Ice: Subaru is the cuteness personificated. As for why there aren't many reviews... probably simply because this fic isn't good enough. I'm very happy when people tell me they like it but I'm aware there are lot of better fics with better English and more intriguing plot all around the web. I'll make myself happy with the fact that at least someone judge it worth a review. Thank you for alaways posting one!

To Gray Wings: (blush) Seishiro won't have an idea of his feelings for a long time... As for the ending... that will be a surprise!

To LadyYeinKhan: I'm glad you like my work and the efforts I put into it! Even if this is an AU I tried to keep it as close as possible to the original spirit of 'X'. Subaru has always been the type willing to sacrifice himself for the people he cares for... I wasn't sure people would like him in this fic since he's a bit different from the manga. I'm happy you do! So you're in Japan? Lucky you!


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