I don't own Discworld of course! PTerry does!


Madness - Chapter 9

Scene 1:

"Do we want to involve Archchancellor Weatherwax and that other wizard over there, who ever he is?" Commander Vimes asked.

"Oh, that would be the Librarian before his accident," Rincewind pointed out politely.

"Cause they are coming right at us," Vimes continued.

"Oooook Ook!" the Librarian snorted.

"That's decided then," Lord Vetinari said calmly. In stark contrast the Librarian however was jumping up and down frantically. Susan was as unfazed by this turn of events as Vetinari was and simply wished the Librarian would calm down. Vetinari eventually turned to the Orang-utan, "Could you show us a way out of here?"

"Ooook!" the Librarian replied, with what she supposed was the simian version of a sigh of relief, though it had more in common with the sound a certain quaint, traditional blow instrument from Chalk made. Although the Librarian straight away rushed off into the maze of shelves, while the rest of the group followed as quickly as they could, Rincewind had somehow managed to outrun even the Librarian and now seemed to be leading the way.

"I say, who is there? Who or what are you?" they heard the Archchancellor's voice booming through the shelves.

Although Weatherwax couldn't possibly have caught sight of them, they had obviously not been as quiet as they thought and she was aware that up until Ridcully had taken over, the wizards had on the whole not been a very friendly or modern bunch. Blast into oblivion first, ask questions later. And then ignore the answers if there were any forthcoming, because the wizards didn't really care. They still don't, she thought, but they have to at least appear as if they did, because of PR [1]. Not that she was worried for her own sake, of course. The wizards didn't scare her. To be fair to the Archchancellor though, who was a very imposing and powerful wizard, not much scared Susan Sto Helit.

However the Librarian's solution for getting the group out undiscovered was not quite as elegant as Susan had hoped it would be. They'd reached the back wall of the library. How that was possible, while at the same time they had just spent hours walking amongst the back shelves, was not a question Susan concerned herself with. It didn't occur to her that this was odd. What Susan was thinking, however, as she reached the back wall, was how on the disc the Librarian expected Angua to climb up to and out of a small window high above them. Wolves were not known for their bookshelf climbing skills, after all.

She wasn't the only one who had noticed this, but the Librarian was already at the top of the nearest bookshelf and was waving his arms around, willing the others to follow him as fast as they could. Rincewind didn't need to be told twice it seemed.

"I'll go with the watch-dog, and find another way out of here. I don't think we'll have too much trouble really," Susan said pointedly, in a voice that left no room for debate or comment, as she turned to face Commander Vimes.

Vimes looked startled for a moment, but Vetinari stepped in at this point, just as the Librarian started to throw books at them to get their attention.

"We'll meet you outside," Vetinari said and nodded at her. As Ponder started to climb up the shelf he turned to Vimes, "I think there is no question that they can both look after themselves."

There was no time to lose and she knew she didn't really have to explain herself. She was acutely aware that everyone here had seen her walk right through the library doors, including the commander. It should be clear to him that she wasn't quite human.

"Good, see you on the outside," Vimes said gruffly.

"Come on," Susan said to Angua, who broke into a run, which Susan found a little hard to keep up with. She noticed the luggage was following them. It couldn't climb bookshelves either.

[1] Patrician Relations; as his opinion is the only one that really matters and the wizards, like everyone else in Ankh-Morpork, are keen to continue avoiding paying their taxes.


Scene 2:

Angua stretched. It felt so good to be human again. She had to resist the urge to scratch her ears with her feet for a few seconds, but then she hurriedly dressed. The luggage had stopped following them once she had growled at it outside the University. Angua had then led Susan into the gardens behind Empirical Crescent. She didn't feel comfortable stealing clothes, so she reasoned with herself that she was only borrowing them, as she would return them to the owner's clothesline as soon as she was finished using them.

"So, what have I missed, Susan? I have a feeling you know more than you've been telling people," was the first thing Angua said to Susan. She knew there was no point in small talk, this was Susan Sto Helit after all.

Susan gave her a sidelong glance. Then Angua saw a sardonic smile spread slowly across her face, though.

"I was not keeping information from people on purpose, Angua," she said, "But you're the first to ask me what I know of this."

"Well, what do you know?" Angua said, as they scaled a low garden wall.

"To be honest, I don't know that much more than everyone else. However, in the library, just before I confronted Lord Contandi Lobsang and my Grandfather appeared. They both told me that the Discworld might be destroyed and that I might be able to prevent it. As long as I don't act rashly, and stop to think first."

"What did they mean by that? Do they know what's going to happen?" she asked.

"I wish I knew. That vague clue was all I got out of them," Susan replied.

"Lobsang was with your grandfather?" Angua continued after a while. She was intrigued. Susan had talked about him often, but she'd never mentioned that the two knew each other.

"Well, they are both anthropomorphic personifications. I suppose they both have some sort of stake in all this. If the world is about to come to and end, it would certainly mean an increased work load for my grandfather, and we are currently travelling in time...," Susan stopped talking.

Angua knew that look on her face far too well, she was thinking about him again; about the life she had shared with Lobsang. Although now might not be the best time to talk about old flames, if he was really the personification of Time, as Susan had told Angua in previous conversations, then maybe he could help them with their current situation. Maybe she could get Susan to ask him for help. So she decided to press the matter.

"What was so special about him, Susan? I can see you are thinking about Lobsang. Why did you stay with him for so many years only to leave him in the end? What went wrong?" Angua said softly.

Susan was not often at a loss for words, but it appeared Angua had asked her a rather difficult question. For a while they simply continued to walk through another one of Empirical Cresent's overgrown gardens.

"I realised that although he's the only other half-human, half-anthropomorphic personification, the only other one like me, that this fact simply wasn't enough to keep us together. He wasn't the love of my life and I realised that after the first year we spent together," Susan replied.

"Why didn't you leave him earlier then? You told me that you two were together for ages," Angua asked and then wondered if maybe she was being too pushy. She turned to look at Susan properly, prepared to jump and hide quickly, should Susan give her the Look. But Susan wasn't annoyed at her probing questions. She had a far away look in her eyes and a wistful smile was slowly spreading across her face.

"Angua, why would I give up a relationship if I can see that it's definitely heading nowhere?" Susan said.

"Waste of time to stay in such a relationship really...," Angua replied, confused at her friend's question.

"Exactly," Susan said, "but what if time was not an issue? For us of course if wasn't and so prolonging the inevitable was not a problem either. There was no time pressure. It is amazing what difference that can make. He is the only one who is exactly like me, who can understand the way in which I exist. But... that's not the most important thing in love, is it? Being the same 'species'."

"No, it isn't," Angua said and thought of Carrot. Was he even aware that she had been gone this long? How much time had passed in the present? Or was the present frozen in some way while they were here, in the past. She didn't know.

"Can Lobsang help us?" she asked.

"He's probably already done as much as he can," Susan replied.

Ah, she was afraid Susan might say something like that. They finally reached a gate that led them out of the gardens into a back alley.

"What now?" Angua asked.

"We were meant to meet up with the others outside the University I think, but that is what I call a waste of time. I'm sure they will have reached that conclusion too and gone off in search of Lord Contandi straight away," Susan said.

"Where do we start searching? There is no way I will be able to pick up his scent, I'm afraid," Angua said.

"He wanted to erase Vetinari from the fabric of this universe. He failed to do so before, but maybe he took us back in time so he could kill him as a child," Susan suggested.

Angua nodded slowly in agreement, "We had better head towards the nicer parts of town then. We should be able to ask someone there to direct us towards the Vetinaris' mansion. Let's hurry. Vimes will go spare if the world ends on his watch."

"Maybe he will change history in a way that cannot be repaired," Susan said quietly. Angua presumed she was talking to herself.

They turned a corner and headed off in the general direction of Scone Avenue.

"Angua, what is your opinion on Lord Vetinari? Do you think he might have anything to do with the murders?" Susan asked.

Angua didn't need to enquire which murders Susan was talking about. She realised that walking towards Scone Avenue, they would soon pass the Contandi's mansion.

She shook her head emphatically, "I am sure that he has nothing to do with that, Susan. There is no way he would have done such a thing. You can trust me on this. Lord Vetinari might be a very unpleasant person, but Vimes respects him in a way."

Realising that Susan didn't really know Vimes much either, she added, "The Patrician thinks people are far more useful to him when they are alive."

She studied Susan's pale face. Eventually her friend replied, "Don't worry, you don't have to come up with a reason why he would not have killed them. I asked you because I trust your judgement. However, Contandi seems to think that Vetinari is responsible for their deaths."

"You really don't like Vetinari, do you?" Angua continued, "He's not all bad, you know. People like me wouldn't have been let through the city gates, let along allowed to work in the Watch, if it wasn't for his tolerant views."

"What are you going to do about Rincewind and Stibbons finding out about you being a werewolf?" Susan asked in an abrupt change of topic.

"Actually, I've decided it's going to be impossible to hide it from them. But I trust Vimes will get Vetinari to make sure they don't talk," Angua said, smoothly bringing the conversation back to Vetinari, the man who's life they were currently trying to save. "He might use sarcasm or irony on them," she said happily.

Susan sighed, "I did notice that even the wizards were scared of him."

"With good reason," Angua said, "Everyone should be."

"I'm not scared of him," Susan countered.

"Fine, but you should respect him, because he's probably about as dangerous as you are."

Angua gave Susan her best 'if you are going to take one piece of advice I give you, make sure it's this one' look.

Susan raised an eyebrow quizzically, and Angua couldn't suppress a grin.

"Seriously, he is. I assure you that Vetinari would not have had the little girl killed, but that doesn't mean he's not someone to be very afraid of. And I notice things when I am a wolf that escape others. Everyone was uneasy around you, scared even. Except Vetinari. Maybe he doesn't fear Death."


Right, I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update! :-S But here it is finally, (thanks to some gentle prodding ;) ).

I hope you like it. I'm going to try and update again soon!