Jalizza's POV
I honestly don't know what I would do without Demi. She is always there even when I don't want her to be. I honestly don't deserve to have her in my life. She asked me what happened and I responded, "I have to make an important choice and my anxiety got the best of me." She gave me another hug.
As we got up I said, "So how did it go?"
She laughed and said, "Really good, but you'll have to wait and see." It's so true I hated surprises and couldn't keep a secret like this to save my life. It's weird because I kept my self harm a secret for half a year but can't help but tell everyone else's stuff. Then it was like a lightbulb when off into her head she then said, "Do you still wanna go out for lunch?"
"I don't know. Wait what about MILEY!"
"She still went, just with Liam. I'm pretty sure we can still go if you get ready fast." I nod and tell her to meet me down stairs. I then put on a navy blue summer strapless dress. The last time I wore it was the last time I have talked or seen Tara. As I put on silver earings and a necklace that matches all the memories come back from that day.
I'm sitting here in the school's lobby as I'm texting Demi good luck before she starts her first show of her tour in Asia. It's 4:15, Tara was supposed to meet me here at 4:05, I hate it when she's late. But then again I am always late to. She is the one good thing that has come out of this all. I didn't know I was capable of loving someone until I met her. I then hear laughing.
I look up and a wave of emotion hits me as I see Tarra and her ex Kim walk by the front door holding hands. It looks like Tara is saying good bye as the person Kim gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I don't believe this is happening. She said she would never break my heart. I look at them just getting angrier and angrier. I then punch the glass door, the pain was unbarable in my wrist but I don't care.
Tara looks up and says, "Jalizza you don't understand."
I just get even more angrier, "I don't understand? It's not that hard to comprehend this, you and Kim are getting back together. You are such a bitch!" I then run out the door and down the street. I don't care where the hell I'm going I just know that I wanna not be here anymore!
I keep running for what seems to be hours. I end up being on the side of the highway. I go to call my mom to tell her to pick me up. I need to keep calm and stay strong. But then all the memories of people telling me I'm not good enough and my horrible thoughts come back. I have nothing else to do, I pull the safety pin out from my pocket that I always carry around with me and look at my skin. I wince at the pain as I stab the needle in and drag it across my skin.
But now I'm sitting here looking in the mirror and see myself. My beautiful self. I know I am beautiful; Nial Horan personally sang me that song. You know the one, "But that's what makes you beautiful" Haha his Irish accent is so adorable; I have no clue why Demi doesn't actually date him. Plus they would make the cutest little babies ever! As I finish my makeup I walk down the stairs.
As I walk down the stairs I hear Demi singing a new song. I love her voice so much! She says, "You ready?"
I nod and we walk out the door. In the car ride "Give Your Heart a Break" comes on. I say, "Turn it up" And when she does it becomes and epicness of us singing. It still amazes me I can just ask and she'll sing for me, or even just be in the same room with her never mind talk to her. She has become more than a friend; almost like a sister.
I look at her admiring her beautifulness for a little while until she parks and notices and says, "What's wrong?"
I then say, "Thank you for everything you've done. Before I met you, you were a hero to me but now you are more than that. You are the person who inspired me to keep living when I wanted to be dead. There were so many nights before anyone knew anything that I just prayed I wouldn't wake up the next day but then I thought of you and your music. There were so many days at school that I would feel insecure and would want to cry but just listening to Skyscraper or Lightweight made me be able to carry on in my day. Once you came in my life there were so many times in that short period that I wanted to give up completely but your words of advice helped me through it. And in treatment there were so many times I just wanted to get out and not be in recovery but then I thought of how disappointed in me you would be. You are one of the only things that have made this all worth it. I've learned to love myself through you and your music. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry for everything I've ever said to you that was mean and rude. I know everything you did was for my benefit and was for the best. Thank you!"
With tears in her eyes she says, "You're very welcome. I am so proud of the person you have become. The fact that you just said that inspires me." She then gives me a bear hug.
