A/N - Hello...wow, I managed to keep my once a week posting schedule. Computer issues are still just that, but where there's a will, there's a way. As always, carolinwonderland and Relative Wind perused this for me and made some great comments and suggestions, so thanks again, both of you. Also, if you haven't ever heard Rachel's wakeup song, I suggest searching for it on youtube and checking it out, just so you can understand why her reaction is the way it is.
FYI: this will be the last chapter posted while the story still has a T rating. After this, it will be M due to some pretty serious stuff happening down the road (no character deaths though, so don't worry 'bout that). Hope you enjoy reading, and again, thank you to everyone for reading, favouriting, and especially reviewing each chapter. Please keep it up, as it helps keep me going!
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1, if necessary.
She was dreaming. She was sure she was dreaming.
She and Finn were lying down against the nearby tree, nakedly wrapped up in each other's arms and cocooned in a blanket, her sitting between his legs and leaning back against his muscular chest with his arms wrapped around her protectively. They were enjoying a romantic evening in a private, secluded outdoor park and watching the kaleidoscope of colours splash against the sky as the sun continued to set on the horizon. As she sighed contentedly and snuggled more comfortably into Finn's arms she heard loud, blaring music suddenly echo across the landscape, guitars chugging percussively at a fast pace. Rachel frowned, looking around from where she and Finn were embraced and leaning against the tree, wondering where such noise could be coming from. She turned back to look up at Finn just as the music paused for a beat and she saw him open his mouth to say something.
"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"*
The scream was deafening, and Rachel had no idea how high her body had rocketed into the air upon being jolted awake but counted at least a full second before she felt herself land back on her mattress, heart pumping furiously and sweat escaping from her pores. Looking around frantically, she quickly concluded that it must be coming from her iPod dock. She reached over with her left hand to slap it off and save herself from anymore of the insane music, but her hand only hit the bare wood of her night stand. She glanced over, wondering if she had misjudged how far away from the iPod dock she really was.
The iPod dock wasn't there, but screaming lyrics continued along with the heavy, loud music.
I'm a pop star threat and I'm not dead yet
Got a super dread bet with an angel drug head,
Like a dead beat winner, I wanna be a sinner
An idolized bang for the industry killer...*
Rachel frantically looked around, her mind swimming with confusion as the music and lyrics kept blaring overtop her thoughts and making it difficult to concentrate. Where the heck was her iPod dock? She always left it in the same spot and never moved it. In fact, she never moved her iPod either. She hadn't had to since she had received her iPad as a Hanukah gift from her fathers in December. Her iPod had remained in its dock and always set to the same song so that she could wake up every morning feeling good and energized by the bouncy, eighties music hit. The only people who had been in her room recently had been the maid from the cleaning service, her Dads, and Finn.
She felt her eyes narrow involuntarily. Finn! Finn did this! Finn knew I preferred my iPad now and usually left my iPod alone on the dock. HE USED THAT KNOWLEDGE AGAINST ME!
Leaping from the bed, Rachel quickly scrambled into her housecoat and began searching frantically around her room for the iPod dock, wondering where her boyfriend could have hidden it. As she searched around, she suddenly heard loud knocking on her bedroom door. "Rachel!" Her Dad's (Leroy) voice boomed overtop of the racket. "What the hell are you thinking? Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Uh...6:00am or so?" Rachel cried over her shoulder as she yanked open the bathroom door and took stock of what was in there. She saw a toothbrush, makeup, hair accessories, towels, and hygiene products.
No iPod dock.
If you're 555, then I'm 666
If you're 555, then I'm 666
Well if you're 555 then I'm 666
What's it like to be a heretic?
If you're 555 then I'm 666
What's it like to be a heretic?*
"It's six o'clock in the morning, Rachel!" Leroy's voice carried over the music, causing her to wince slightly. If his voice was so loud as to be heard over the music, he must be pretty angry. He never raised his voice unless he was truly upset. "And why the hell did you change your song? I was used to the other song, but this is ghastly! Do you need help getting up in the morning now?"
"It wasn't my idea!" Rachel quickly shouted as she pulled open the doors to her closet, but realized that the music hadn't increased suddenly in volume so concluded quickly that her iPod dock wasn't in there. She slammed the doors closed again and turned in her room, eyes quickly scanning every inch of the large master bedroom to try and determine where Finn could have placed it. She couldn't see it anywhere in sight, which meant that it had to be hidden. But the volume was so loud. How could it be hidden and still be spewing forth this racket at such a volume? If it was in a drawer or closet or something, it would sound a bit muffled at least. Unless...
He wouldn't!
She collapsed to her knees and looked under the bed. Sure enough, there was the dock, still plugged into its electrical socket, but right up against the wall underneath the centre of her bed. It was in the perfect position for her to hear it, being directly under the part of the mattress where she laid her head.
Yes, he would!. Oooh, if he thinks he's had it bad with his cell phone...
Rachel reached under with her right arm, but cursed as she realized that she wasn't able to reach the dock in its current location. In fact, she wouldn't be able to reach it unless she somehow crawled under the bed, and of course that was impossible since her bed frame was only a couple of inches off the floor. How the hell Finn had managed to put her iPod dock there, she had no clue, but she knew with certainty that its inaccessible position was completely deliberate.
"Turn that damn music off, Rachel! I'm not going to say this a fourth time!" Leroy's voice boomed overtop the song.
Fourth time? I didn't even hear you the second time! Rachel thought. She huffed angrily and she pushed herself up off the floor. She quickly walked around her bed, shoved her nightstand out of the way and then reached down and tugged the stereo's plug out of the electrical socket.
The music didn't stop. Rachel stared incredulously at the electrical cord in her hand. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
Well if you're 555 then I'm 666
What's it like to be a heretic?
If you're 555 then I'm 666
What's it like to be a heretic?*
The light went on in Rachel's head suddenly. Batteries! He put batteries in the dock! Rachel couldn't believe it. Finn had actually thought to install batteries and flip the electrical switch in the back from AC to DC but kept the plug inserted just to fool her. Was he honestly so mean as to trick her this way? It wasn't bad enough he had jolted her awake to some ridiculously loud and heavy song, but he had to physically make it impossible for her to turn it off in any way, shape or form?
The music still playing isn't answer enough for you, Rachel? Her mind seemed to say.
HERETIIIIIIIICCC! YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!*
Her door burst open and Leroy stood there, eyes blazing and hands on his hips, looking every inch the authoritarian father figure. "What is the problem, young lady? Are you going to turn that damn racket off or not?"
"I'm trying, Dad! I swear!" Rachel looked at him pleadingly to understand. "But I can't reach my iPod dock. It's under my bed!"
"Why the hell did you put it under your bed?" Leroy asked, surprised.
Rachel suddenly went into full diva mode and turned on her father, tiny hands clenched into fists and her brown eyes ablaze with anger, yelling, "I DIDN'T! THIS IS ALL FINN'S FAULT! HE PUT IT UNDER THERE AND RESET MY IPOD TO THIS SONG AND MADE SURE I COULDN'T REACH IT OR TURN IT OFF."
Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Leroy walked over to the bed and physically pulled the mattress onto the floor, ignoring Rachel's squeal of protest. The result was that he completely messed up Rachel's impeccably folded sheets and scattered her organized stuffed animal collection across the room. With one hand, Leroy pulled up on the box spring and then paused to find the correct switch.
30 seconds, 16, 8, 4, lemme tell ya why
I haven't the slightest, I'm teaching your brightest
they're listening , clamouring
all the money in the world can't buy me
go ahead, lie to me
tell me again how your tortur-*
Her Dad reached down between the slats of the bed frame and thumbed the button on the iPod dock, causing the wailing guitars and screaming vocals to cease immediately. He dropped the box spring back down onto the bed frame and then regarded his daughter with a disapproving look. "What exactly was Finn doing in your room? Didn't your father and I make it clear Finn was only allowed up here if your room door was open and we were home?"
Sure, Dad. We always follow that rule! Rachel thought sarcastically but decided a different answer would be more appropriate. She bit her lip slightly as she considered the situation. "I didn't even have Finn over last night! I was with Santana and Brittany until just after nine. Unless he came over by himself."
"What in blazes is going on?" Hiram asked, his own house coat done up snugly around himself and rubbing tired eyes. "What on earth was all that screaming? Is that what you kids are listening to nowadays? Could you not wake up to it, at least?"
"It wasn't me!" Rachel spoke above her father's voice. "I didn't do anything! It was Finn. It had to be."
Leroy looked over to his partner. "Was Finn here at all yesterday?"
Hiram nodded sleepily. "Yeah, he said he just had some project stuff to drop off for Rachel for Glee. Rachel was still at ballet class at the time, and Finn said he'd just be a little while, so I didn't see any issues in letting him go up to Rachel's room. He said he left you a note before he left."
Rachel's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "A note? What note?"
"He told me it was in an envelope." Hiram looked over at her desk before pulling out a non-descript envelope from under the picture she had of her and Finn arm in arm at Nationals in New York the year prior. "Yes. This must be it. Isn't it for school?"
Rachel snatched it from her Daddy's hand and ripped it open. Frowning, she pulled out and unfolded the single piece of paper and scanned the contents.
Rach,
Since you seem to really enjoy changing my phone's ringtone without telling me, I thought I'd surprise you the same way on your iPod. I hope you liked the wakeup song. Now you can enjoy the same feelings I get when hearing something new and unexpected. Luv U!
Finn.
Rachel sputtered in disgust and annoyance. "That...that...that...ooooooooh! I swear when I get through with him-"
"Uh..." Leroy interrupted her as he scanned the note over her shoulder. "Rachel honey, did you really change Finn's ringtone without telling him?"
She turned and stared at him, astonished that out of everything that had happened that morning, Finn's ringtone is what he had chosen to focus on.
"That's not really nice, is it, Sweetie?" Hiram asked. "Don't you think you should get his permission before you touch his personal property?"
Rachel whirled on her fathers. "You're on his side?" She practically screeched, causing both of them to wince slightly. "Do you know what he's doing to me this week? He's forcing me to perform metal! For Glee! HEAVY METAL! And now he's waking me up with it at six in the morning and you stand there and say you're on his side?"
"What's wrong with the heavy metal assignment? Didn't you say the other night it was going well?" Hiram asked. The angry glare he received from his daughter for throwing her own words back at her silenced him and he pursed his lips in amusement even as he looked away from her penetrating gaze.
"I didn't say we're on his side." Leroy amended, sharing a knowing smirk with Hiram. "Just pointing out that if you're changing Finn's ringtone without telling him, you can't really blame him when he returns the favour on your iPod, can you?"
"Watch me!" Rachel declared angrily as she stormed off to her private bathroom and slammed the door shut. She was going to skip her morning elliptical workout and head over early to the school. Finn had early basketball practices on Thursday morning, which meant everything he required for his day at school would already be in his locker. She smiled to herself wickedly as she grabbed her facial cleaner and began lathering it on her face. Oh, he thinks a changed ringtone is unexpected? Just wait until he sees what's 'in store' for him later today.
XXXXX
Kurt stood in front of the kitchen sink, mouth agape in shock. He could have sworn there was at least a quarter pan of hamburger casserole leftover from the previous evening's dinner and was planning on taking another helping for lunch that day. After all, one could not spend money frivolously on things like lunch in the cafeteria when a new line of Alexander McQueen had recently been released. And Carole made the most delicious hamburger casserole he had ever had. It was almost a crime to even call it hamburger casserole such was the wonderful and delectable taste of the dish. But no, instead there sat in the sink an empty nine by thirteen pan with nothing but crumbs and drops of sauce leftover.
"Morning, Kurt." Burt smiled at him as he walked past, squeezing Kurt's shoulder in greeting. He moved over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of the beverage. "How'd you sleep?"
"Fine." Kurt said, then indicated the pan disgustedly. "But my plans for lunch have been completely ruined."
Burt looked in the sink and grimaced. "Yeah, I thought that might happen. Too bad, I was hoping to have some myself, but I guess Finn beat us to it."
Kurt turned towards his father, stunned surprise evident on his face. "Don't you mean Finn and Carole?"
Burt shook his head as he had a sip of his coffee. "Carole has a luncheon today. She wouldn't need to bring one."
Kurt's eyes widened. "Dad, tell me you're not serious? Finn cannot eat everything leftover from last night, can he? There was a quarter of a pan left."
Burt chuckled after swallowing a second sip of his coffee. "Kurt, you don't have the appetite of a normal teenage boy, and thank God because I don't think Carole and I could afford the bills if you did, but Finn's appetite is a very typical. He can pack away more food than two grown men. I can't say I blame him, being in all those sports and all, but his stomach is almost bottomless; probably stay that way until he's done college, too." Burt opened the fridge, then laughed again. "See? The leftover apple pie, the cheese wedges, the garlic bread? It's all gone. Oh well." Burt chuckled again and shut the door. "I should probably take my guys for lunch today, anyway. Lets them know I'm more than just the boss. You got some money for lunch?"
Kurt frowned as he checked his wallet, then nodded. "Yes, I'm good. I just wasn't planning on using it for lunch, that's all."
"We'll ask Carole to make a double batch next time." Burt promised as he grabbed his coffee cup and headed out of the kitchen, clapping Kurt on the shoulder. "See you after school, Son."
Hearing the horn to Blaine's car outside, Kurt quickly exited the kitchen, threw on his coat and grabbed his book-bag off the floor in the front foyer. "Bye Dad. Have a good day." He hurried outside and pulled open the passenger side door to Blaine's vehicle, plopping himself inside and tossing his bag in the back. After securing his seat belt around himself, he turned to his boyfriend. "I swear to God, I'm going to die of starvation if I live there much longer."
Blaine smiled as Kurt kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand before returning his attention to backing up the car and continuing the drive to school. "What's the problem?"
"It's nothing major, just Finn and his appetite. It never seems to end with him."
Blaine smiled. "Yeah, well, Finn can definitely eat his share of food. I think there are entire countries in Africa which eat less in a day than he does."
After another ten minutes of driving, Kurt and Blaine arrived to the parking lot of McKinley High School where they spotted the small, red coated figure of Rachel struggling to remove two bags of groceries out of the back of her small car. The two exchanged a curious glance before they each got out of Blaine's vehicle, shouldered their backpacks and then ran over to her. "Rachel!" Kurt called out, raising his hand so she could see where they were against the bright sunlight.
The small woman stopped and turned, flashing her thousand watt smile. "Kurt! Blaine! How are you both? Would you mind helping me?" Before she even received an answer from either boy, she placed a small, old styled paper grocery bag, completely full, in Kurt's arms and then another in Blaine's. She closed her trunk and then turned on her heels and motioned to them with a curled index finger. "This way, please." She called over her shoulder in an almost forced, overly happy, sing-songy voice.
Blaine and Kurt looked at each other questioningly even as they began following her. Kurt cleared his throat while he shifted the grocery bag into a more comfortable position in his hands. "Do…do you have a function or assembly to prepare food for that I don't know about?"
"No, no. That's not it." Rachel responded, smiling as she knowingly made her way through the halls, not to her own locker which Kurt knew was much farther down the main hall, but into a side hallway where only one of the Gleeks had his locker. She expertly twirled the combination lock to the correct sequence and then opened the door, grinning evilly after she looked inside. "That's what I thought." She said as she pulled out a small cooler and placed it on the floor. Next, she pulled out an oversized, reusable canvas grocery bag from her jacket pocket and placed it beside the cooler. She looked up at the two boys. "Can you please put those groceries in this bag? I just don't think the two smaller bags would fit in his locker."
Kurt and Blaine both arched an eyebrow. "What exactly are you doing, Rachel?" Blaine asked cautiously.
Rachel smiled happily. "Payback." She opened the cooler and then looked up to Kurt and Blaine. "It would seem Finn has hamburger casserole, cheese wedges, apple pie, garlic bread and chocolate milk packed in here for lunch. If his appetite is still as substantial as it usually is, that means there should be more than enough in here for two people with regular appetites." She flashed another wide smile as she looked at her friends. "Would you two like to share it?"
Kurt smiled wickedly as he surveyed the food in the small cooler, almost salivating at the idea of feasting on the leftovers of the wonderful meal from the evening before. He put down his given bag of groceries and immediately began removing the various items from it. "Rachel darling, I have absolutely no idea why Finn deserves payback from you, but I'm positive the reason must be sound. Now, how exactly would you like us to pack these?"
XXXXX
Finn sighed as he pushed his way into the 'Home Economics' classroom, barely carrying his extremely fucking heavy lunch bag behind him in one hand. He was lucky this classroom was empty during the lunch hour and he could use the large kitchen utensils to attack the food Rachel had swapped out of his locker. Where he had originally placed a fantastic lunch of leftover hamburger casserole he instead found a massive bag filled with every kind of fruit and vegetable imaginable. That is, every kind of fruit and vegetable one had to cut up in order to eat properly. Watermelon, cantaloupe, honey dew melon, and grapefruit (all in their entirety) were the given fruits. Stacked around that were cucumbers, tomatoes, peas still in the pod (they were called 'snow peas' but didn't look anything like snow, so that was a really stupid name), carrots with the peel and green leaves still on them, whole bell peppers and a massive head of lettuce. Of course, Rachel being Rachel hadn't thought (or had purposely failed to provide) any dip or dressing for the vegetables. Finn really didn't think this was fair. He was only getting back at her for constantly changing his cell's ringtone. Did she really have to steal his hamburger casserole from him? He loved his Mom's hamburger casserole! This was on a totally different level altogether from his stunt and definitely very mean of her. But buying his lunch today wasn't an option as he was low on cash after purchasing Rachel's promise ring, and he was way too hungry to skip lunch.
After pulling the food out and setting it on the island counter at the front of the class, he grabbed a cutting board and large knife from the drawers by the sink. Just as he turned back to the food, he saw the classroom door being held wide open. There stood Puck, completely dumbfounded as he surveyed the amount of fruit and vegetables scattered across the island counter. "What the fuck, dude?" He exclaimed, sauntering into the room. "Hungry much?"
Scowling, Finn angrily picked up his given envelope from the counter and tossed it at Puck, then turned and began washing the cucumbers and tomatoes. Puck fumbled with the envelope for a second before securing it in his hand and then pulled out a single piece of paper from it and began to read.
Finnegan,
I soloved the new wakeup song you were kind enough to choose for me and set up on my iPod. It was indeed very unexpected and now I can be secure in the knowledge of how exactly you feel when I change your ringtone. Thank you for enlightening me. Since we have entered a new stage in our relationship in sharing how we feel about certain things, I thought it only fair that you should know how I feel after eating a very healthy lunch consisting of my favourite fruits and vegetables. Hope you feel as satisfied afterwards as I do.
And I 'Luv U' too!
Rachel.
Puck chuckled as he returned the note to the envelope. "So that's what you were doing over there. What song did you put on her iPod?"
Finn grinned at him even as he carefully sliced the cucumber. "The Heretic Anthem."
Howling with laughter, Puck leaned on the counter as he watched Finn continue with his work. "That probably shot her up to the ceiling in shock this morning, knowing how intense she usually is." Finn shrugged as he sliced off a couple bites of the cucumber and handed one to Puck while devouring his own. He then threw the rest into the large bowl on the counter. "Think you could help me with something tonight?" Puck asked around his cucumber slice.
Finn raised an eyebrow as he turned towards his friend. After swallowing his own mouthful of food, he frowned slightly. "Let me guess; Nora, right?" After Puck nodded, Finn's frown deepened. "You need a wingman to patch things up with her? Doesn't seem like the kinda thing you'd want me for, dude. What's up?"
Puck shrugged. "I managed to get her neighbour to tell me where Nora works, and she said-"
"Wait a sec." Finn stopped his work and turned towards his friend. "How did you get her neighbour to tell you this? You...you didn't...uh..."
"Fuck no!" Puck shook his head and shoved Finn hard on his shoulder. "I told you, I like Nora, 'kay? I managed to get some dude to buy me beer at 7-11, and then brought it over and bribed Nora's neighbour with it. Didn't even take one for myself. Girl was singing like a fuckin' canary after that. "
"So you did something illegal to get info about your sorta-girlfriend, but no worries 'cause at least you didn't fuck the neighbour, right? Your morals need some work, dude."
"Whatever, man! I'm trying to make things up here. When did I become the villain?"
"You've always been the villain, just too much of a dumb-ass to know it. Do I have to remind you 'bout Quinn?" Finn replied, tossing a sliced tomato into the same bowl as the cucumbers.
Puck snorted and rolled his eyes. "First off, we settled that shit long ago. Second, if we have to go there, admit you were never so fucking happy in life as you were to know you were free of Quinn. I could tell from the first time I saw you in the auditorium singing Journey that you had all but forgotten 'bout Quinn and had it seriously fuckin' bad for Berry. It wasn't all my fault, and I'm stopping right there 'cause like I said, we settled this shit already. Now, you gonna listen to what I gotta say or not?"
Finn stayed his hands for a moment and thought, but then sighed and continued with his vegetable slicing, even as a smirk appeared on his face. "Fine, fine. Since you're sorta right and do have a captive audience, go ahead and talk."
"Thanks, douche-bag. So anyway, Nora is a bartender for a place downtown and-" Puck was interrupted as Finn started laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. Scowling, Puck smacked him on the shoulder hard. "Quit your fuckin' laughing, man. I'm trying to explain."
Finn stared at him, stunned. "Explain what? That your sorta-girfriend is a bartender? What's to explain? Finn went back to slicing up the next tomato. "So she's what, twenty-one? Little young for your tastes, isn't she?"
"Shut the fuck up, man. I'm not the one cutting up fucking vegetables for lunch because I pissed off my girlfriend by changing her iPod song."
"No, you're the one whose truck was covered in Chinese food last night because you had to tell your girl you used to fuck her Mom. I'm surprised your Mom didn't think someone had bled on the parking pad for all the sweet and sour sauce left there." Finn grabbed a large carrot next and started peeling it into the sink. "Geez, some sweet and sour sauce would be great on these veggies right now."
Puck opened the fridge, pulled out a few bottles of salad dressing and then dumped them clumsily on the counter. "Best the school can do for you, dipshit. So are you in, or out?"
The tall quarterback turned back towards him, halfway through peeling a carrot, his hand still holding the peeler which he waved around as he spoke. "In or out of what?"
"Of coming with me so I can talk to Nora? I don't know what this bar is like, and I don't want to go alone in case it's some fucked up biker club or something."
"You're not really keeping up that 'bad-ass' rep by saying you're afraid of going into a bar. And how the fuck do you think we can get in there anyway? Our driver's licenses say we're eighteen."
Puck shrugged, pulled out a few pieces of plastic from inside his leather jacket and slapped them on the counter beside his friend. "I have some modified ID cards here, so it's all good. Made a friend in juvie last year who specializes in this type of stuff and gave me a discount so..."
Finn stared hard at the ID with wide eyes and then turned to Puck with an incredulous look on his face. "Seriously? Are you out of your fucking mind? You could be arrested for falsely-fying ID cards."
"It's called falsifying legal documents, Finn. And be real. The police aren't gonna give two shits about it; it's not like we're murdering someone."
"Or ripping off an ATM?" Finn countered with a half smile before receiving another shove from his friend.
"Fuck off. Shit, one dumb-ass decision and you never let me live it the fuck down."
"It's one of the perks of being your best friend."
Puck ignored Finn's last remark. "Once we get in, the bar won't card us again unless we order something alcoholic. And tonight is pub night from the colleges. We'll fuckin' blend right in and can all go after rehearsal. I had some cards made for Blondie, NASCAR, Brokeback and Chinaman, too. Jacked their pictures off of Facebook. It won't just be us."
"Oh, well that makes it all better then, doesn't it?" Finn responded sarcastically as he once again shook his head. He finished chopping the carrot and threw it into his makeshift salad. "You must have it pretty fuckin' bad for this chick to go to all this trouble."
Puck shrugged. "You wouldn't do the same for Rachel?"
Finn dropped the knife on the cutting board and turned towards his friend, crossing his arms. "The difference is that I've been in love with Rachel for two years, retard! You've only known Nora for, like, five weeks or whatever. And what have you guys done together other than have sex and a massive 'motherfucking' fight?" Finn couldn't resist using air quote around the swear word.
Puck clapped in mock appreciation. "Oooh, yeah, you're a fuckin' comedian today, aren't you? At least I told Nora the truth as soon as I realized her Mom used to be my customer."
"Yeah, after I pushed you to." Finn shot back.
"And how long did it take you to be honest with Rachel about your sexual past. Oh right, sorry, you never were. She discovered the truth on a fucking website! Don't play all high and fuckin' moral mighty with me, asshole. We've both made some dumb moves regarding our broads."
"That's why I told you to tell Nora the truth!" Sighing and rolling his eyes, Finn shrugged in defeat and turned back towards the vegetables and fruit he was cutting. "Fine. Fine. I'll go along and play wingman and make sure some biker dude doesn't rip your head off or whatever. But if Nora rejects you like a bad organ, I'm gonna be dragging your ass out by your mohawk. Got it?"
"Nora hasn't rejected my organ yet, no matter where it's gone."
The taller boy cringed slightly. "Fuck dude, T.M.I. I'm your friend again why, exactly?"
Puck smiled as he clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Because we're Maverick and Goose, man, that's why! We're thee fuckin' team!"
Finn grabbed another large knife and stuck it point first into the wooden cutting board in front of Puck, where it wobbled but held its vertical position. "If you want to be part of thee fuckin' team, help me cut this shit up. I'm hungry, and only God knows what Rachel did with my other lunch by now. "
Flashing his trademark shit-eating grin, Puck grabbed the knife and then the cantaloupe off the counter. "Whatever you say, Goose."
*Lyrics are from "The Heretic Anthem" written and performed by Slipknot.
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