Hetalia School for Vampire Hunters
Chapter 8
1718 Western Russia…
He will not bear this alone.
At first, Ivan was reluctant, but Yao too could be determined. In this one area, his weakness for Yao, Ivan was vulnerable, and finally…he agreed. Yao was satisfied; whatever might come, they would go through this together, as they had so many other things before.
His sisters begged also, pleading to remain at his side, but to them Ivan was adamant. His blindfold still in place beneath his pale hair, the large body now looked even more intimidating as he turned his sightless eyes to face them.
"Nyet Natalya," his tone was final, and his younger sister turned a hostile gaze on Yao.
"But you will take him, a servant," she spat the words harshly.
Next to her, Sofia wept quietly at the refusal; both women were desperate to remain at his side. "We have the plague too Ivan, I do not want to die, I want to stay with you."
Ivan had risen to his feet angrily in response to Natalya's words, but his face softened at this. "You are both recovering, it was the milder form you contracted and already the effects begin to subside. You will obey me in this - for my answer will always be 'no'. I do not wish this for you."
Yao ignored Natalya's insult, it was nothing to him, 'Foolish girls', he knew they were not the part of Ivan, that he was.
When his sisters had departed and they were alone again, Ivan spoke once more, "Only you Yao, only you… I must have, so only you will be condemned to share this." His tone was mournful but firm, Yao had won that battle already. "Come to me then."
Silently Yao went to him and was gathered into the familiar embrace. He gasped, feeling the usual combination of desire and fear, to which he had become addicted. This time the fear was dominant – but he was still determined.
Now was his moment. He would take Ivan's blood, sure that his blood was the source. Darker now and tainted; that which was once pure, the essence of his life. Nicking Ivan's throat with a small knife, Yao nuzzled closer and drank him in.
Pain, it seemed to go on and on… then darkness rushed in, but Ivan was there. As he eventually awoke, his presence was the first thing Yao was aware of.
Finally, they were the same.
Present day…
Lovino's heart raced through his chest and he tried to breathe, but the beating just got faster and faster, until he felt as if it would never stop. An unbelievable nausea overcame him and he felt tears prick his eyes as he held his arms around himself and tried to walk away. All he could see in his head was Sadik; the body and the blood, the light leaving his eyes. Lovino's stomach did another heaving pull and his arms and legs started to twitch convulsively, he could barely force himself to move, but as he slowly walked, he held himself, before eventually sinking to the ground.
"First time you've seen death kid?" Gilbert said. Leaning against a tree, he seemed calm but his hand too was shaking, and he struggled as he tried to hold a flame still enough to light his cigarette.
"First time, I've seen it like that." Lovino managed; his face was pale and washed out, his breathing and heart-rate still frantic. He gasped as his right arm went numb and hollow convulsions started to run over it, "I think I'm having a heart attack," he said, trying to breathe as his heart pounded.
Gilbert barked a hoarse laugh, "Nah, you're not, that's your body going into fight or flight mode. You're just panicking, but it'll calm."
Lovino felt so ill, it was as if his stomach was filled with swarming rats and he gave a dry retch. "Fuck," he said, as a couple of tears ran down his face, the images of Sadik, of the blood - still streaming through his brain. Every time he tried to block them, he could only see the scene from a new angle, his brain focusing unrelentingly on his battered face.
"Woah, kid you gonna vomit?" To Lovino's surprise Gilbert actually walked over to him, placing a gentle hand on his back, "stick your fingers down your throat, it's better to get it over with."
Silently weeping, Loving shoved two dirty fingers to the back of his throat, he retched but nothing came, so he thrust them forward again and again, until finally his stomach jolted and he heaved.
"There ya go," Gilbert gave him an encouraging pat on the back. Lovino could only cry, although his heart rate had started to slow, his body still convulsed violently.
"Most people react like that the first time. Even if it's a vamp, they still look human, so even seeing one of them dead is a pretty severe mind fuck." Gilbert sighed, looking at Lovino who was still trembling, his hands clutched hopelessly to the side of his head as he rocked back and forth. "I guess it gets easier, you get a little numb to it. Or numb to vampire deaths at least, you stop seeing them as humans and that helps. Watching other hunters is still fucking hard though. That's the reason I don't usually take new recruits out with me, so many of them die so young. Even after all the training." He took a long drag from his cigarette, "I only took you as a favour to Antonio."
"Antonio could never get over it?" Lovino croaked between sobs.
"He could kill vampires okay, he was a bit freaked at first, but he could manage that. It all changed after what happened to Francis... Look you need to understand before I carry on, why I'm telling you this. Antonio was fucking out of order not to go to your inauguration and in my opinion he should be the one standing where I am, having this lovely little chat. But it isn't that fucking straightforward."
"Was it like this," said Lovino carefully, his voice still shaking. His mind had gone from unbearable focus, to a sick emptiness and he was worried that if concentrated again, even to speak - the images of Sadik would all come flooding back.
"Yes it was like that, but for months. Months of what you're experiencing and it got worse. When we got back, he just wasn't the same. It started slowly, he'd stop concentrating, you'd talk to him and you'd have to force a response out of him. Then he started to skip meals, he didn't stop eating, but he got a lot thinner and then he started to wear the same clothes. His hair started to become dirty and he'd only leave his room for short periods to eat and drink. Eventually he stopped getting out of bed altogether."
Lovino couldn't believe this. Antonio could never be like this, Antonio was clean and handsome and lively, "But now he's –"
"He's still broken Lovino. Don't think he's not. Francis was our best friend, and fuck, we cared about him. This is how it happened; Francis became obsessed with hunting this one particular vampire; they must have fought a dozen times because that one always got away. Of course Francis could never let it go, used to say it was a matter of national pride. In a weird way I think he enjoyed the fights, and me and Antonio used to find it all pretty fucking funny. I think we actually, er…used to egg him on." The ghost of a smile crossed his lips, "Anyway, on one of those hunts we were camping out, we had been searching for that same vampire and we knew we were close. Me and Francis were in the two tents and Antonio was on watch. Halfway through the night I heard a loud scream and Antonio came running into my tent, holding Francis' quilt. It was covered in blood."
Lovino gasped, "What did he do?"
"Antonio was the lookout, but he hadn't seen a thing and I think it was the guilt that pushed him over the edge later. He couldn't have done anything differently, but he would never accept that, felt he must have missed something." Gilbert sighed bitterly, "Anyway, we traced him for weeks, but we found nothing and no trace of the vampire either."
"So there was no body?"
"That was the worst part. This guy wasn't that strong for a pureblood, but if he was body-snatching he must have been close to the Braginskys."
"Body-snatching?" Lovino knew about the Braginsky 'mafia' as he thought of them, and had jokingly called them 'Cosa Nosferatu'; but he had never heard that term and wondered what was coming now. He had the feeling it wasn't going to be anything good.
"You'll get taught about it later this year," Gilbert told him abruptly, "but you need to understand now. Most vampires just kill; I've heard it's the Braginsky's standing order, but the top boys? They like to play with their food and they have it brought to them live, like some kind of fucked up delivery service." He stared down at Lovino, his own expression haunted, "We never found a body, Francis was taken. We were left to imagine what had happened to him and Antonio was fucking plagued by it. Became absorbed in what kind of sick shit they did to him, what they might have done. One thing's for sure, no hunter has ever been taken to their nest… and lived."
"And that's why Antonio's like he is," Lovino said, looking down at the floor. He still felt ill and his head was throbbing, but the colour had started to return to his face
"Yea, but what you need to understand Lovino, is how much better he is - than he was. You made him care again. Even after those first few months, after he gave up hunting and started to teach - he still wasn't the same. But then he met you and, for the first time I saw a glimmer of the old Antonio."
Gilbert held up a hand to prevent Lovino from speaking until he was done.
"Now don't get me wrong. I'm not asking you to forgive him or anything, I just want you to understand why he's like he is and know, that however much he fucks up, he cares about you. More than I've seen him care about anything, since Francis."
Finally finished, Gilbert lit up as he waited for Lovino to respond. After several minutes of silent thought, the younger man looked up at him. "I didn't know it would be like this, it's so ugly," he whispered.
Gilbert nodded, "and that's why we gotta keep doing what we do. The vampires kill Lovino; they rip people away from their families. That's what makes this worthwhile. We hunt so other people don't have to experience this. So they don't have to watch their loved ones die." He gestured towards Heracles, who was walking manically up and down the same pathway, every now and then stopping to burst into tears.
"Before… I didn't realise…" Lovino stammered.
"No one fucking does. But you have to find something to keep you going. I fight so other people won't experience what I did."
Alfred opened the door to complete darkness and he wondered if Arthur was asleep, often when he arrived he was reading, but not tonight apparently. Wondering whether to disturb him, he heard a faint scraping sound, perhaps he was awake.
"Arthur?" He called softly.
"Yes? Of course I'm here," Arthur replied. "I'm always here," he sounded a little cross.
"How come you're sitting in the dark? Has your flashlight stopped working?" Alfred switched his on, and approached the bars.
"No, but I like to conserve the batteries when I can," Arthur replied, "It's not as though I can keep it on all day and night. I save the torch for reading mostly."
"I'll bring you spares dude," Alfred said instantly, he didn't like to think of Arthur alone here in the dark, especially after thinking about Ivan. That had played on his mind a lot since their talk a few days ago but neither of them had been able to think of any way he could help Arthur. 'Yet!' Alfred thought fiercely, he refused to accept that he wouldn't come up with something he could do to help his friend. That just wasn't an option.
"That would be marvellous Alfred. Thank you, it's been playing on my mind that I might suddenly lose the choice. Such a small thing I know, but at least this way I control when I sit in the dark, and most of all I can read when I choose. Those things make such a difference to me and you gave me them Alfred, I'll never forget that."
Alfred looked into the green eyes which held such warmth and gratitude and shrugged uncomfortably, he didn't feel like he had done enough. "Look Arthur," he said awkwardly, "I care about ya man, I want you to ask if there's anything I can do to at least make things better for you - 'till we work out how to get you out of there." As he looked into the eyes so close to his own, trying to impress upon Arthur how much he meant this. He realised just how much he had come to care, and wondered how the hunters could believe that there were no real feelings in this guy.
After a moment, Arthur dropped his gaze, flushing a little as he moved to sit on the floor, "It's too risky for you Alfred," he murmured. "If they find any of this stuff, they'll know someone brought it and they'll catch you."
"Bullshit," Alfred replied confidently as he also sat down, "I won't get caught." Dismissing the possibility scornfully, he removed a squashy looking package from his jacket and poked it through the bars. "I hope you like cheese sandwiches," he said dubiously, "I forgot to ask if there's anything ya don't eat."
"Not many things," Arthur replied as he took the offered food. "Thank you, I really am so grateful, I'll look forward to eating that later."
"Aren't ya hungry?" Alfred asked, wondering if it was the cheese.
"Oh yes, but while you're here, I'd rather talk," Arthur said simply. "Eating can wait."
"What else do you like? Anything I should avoid?"
"Honestly Alfred, this is great. What I can't tolerate is strong flavours, they're just vile. My sodding taste-buds are too sensitive," he scowled.
Alfred had a sudden thought and chuckled, "So does that mean the garlic thing is true?"
Arthur looked taken aback for a second, before he grinned, "Good God, it's always the Hollywood stuff with you isn't it. No, that nonsense isn't true." He hesitated, "at least it's not vampire Kryptonite or anything. I suppose it does put lots of us off though, because it makes your skin stink."
"Gee thanks," Alfred laughed.
"We have a very keen sense of smell," Arthur explained, "and it lingers in your pores. I'm certainly not a fan."
"Then it does work," Alfred said triumphantly, still sniggering.
Arthur's eyes gleamed, "Well that rather depends on the vampire you know," he cautioned smugly. "At least one I know simply loves it. He'd be attracted by people smelling of garlic 'cologne', swears it adds to the flavour, so I wouldn't recommend it as a safety measure."
They laughed together for several minutes, the idea that garlic might actually attract the wrong sort of attention, striking Alfred as hilarious.
"Wow, they've definitely never thought of that in Hollywood," he said. "So what else is wrong? Stakes?"
"How would you like a stake rammed through your heart," Arthur asked with heavy irony, "we can heal from most things but not death… and before you ask, clearly the same applies to decapitation."
"Okay, okay, dumb choice," Alfred agreed, "what else is there? Umm…Holy water! How about that?"
"No." Arthur suddenly lost his amusement, "it's just water, the same as for you. Some of the others are quite regular church-goers actually. Particularly the Catholics," he added quietly.
"Do you go?" Alfred asked hesitantly.
"Very rarely," Arthur replied, "but then I didn't go much, even before." He looked away, gazing across the cell a little blankly, before he sighed. "To be honest, I'm not sure what I believe. Though if there is a God, I doubt he'd want me… given what I am now."
Alfred thought for a moment, his face unusually serious. "I don't believe God is like that. I don't think it's what you are, or what you believe. It's the way you treat people that counts."
"I've given it a lot more thought since I was changed, but I still don't know. Not that it matters," Arthur said, smiling faintly, "I seem to be stuck in this life pretty permanently."
"Do you wish you weren't?"
"Well there's no use in crying over spilt milk," Arthur said, forcing himself to sound matter-of-fact. "Usually I try not to think about it but I have too bloody much time to think, stuck in here."
Alfred groaned, "I know Arthur, we've just gotta think of a way to show people they're wrong about you."
"Alfred, you're going to have to accept that they'll never believe that," Arthur sighed.
"I'm gonna go to bed and think about it," Alfred decided, and both men got slowly to their feet.
"Goodnight Alfred, and please, make sure you get some sleep," Arthur said sounding worried. "You already lose too much as it is, coming to see me every night."
"Night Arthur, I'll see you tomorrow and I'll bring those batteries." Alfred moved towards the door, but turned back as he reached it. "Hey Arthur, I just wanted you to know…"
"Yes?"
"Whatever anyone else thinks, I believe in you."
Feliciano had been out of bed for a few days now, and although the next full moon was looming, he was trying to stay positive. It was hard sometimes, a constant struggle to push the fear from his mind, but Ludwig had promised to stay with him and that had made all the difference.
Currently, they were lying together in the grass. Although it wasn't really the weather for it, neither of them felt like sitting around the castle. When they were outside, Feliciano felt as if he could pretend for a while that nothing was going to change. The weather wasn't great, it hadn't been raining – but the sky was grey and the wind was bitter. To Feliciano, lying warm beneath Ludwig's jacket, it still seemed perfect.
"Ludwig don't you just wish we could do this forever?" Feliciano said after a couple of minutes, rolling over to face him.
"Lie in the grass?" Ludwig said, giving Feliciano a tender smile.
"Just lie here, pretend we don't know anything about werewolves or vampires. That we had normal lives and didn't have to do hunting anymore."
"Vampires are dangerous Feliciano; we must kill them to protect people. It is a very important job."
"I know, I just wish it wasn't me. I don't think I'm going to be very good at killing things. I always feel sad when Grandpa swats flies in the summer, or when Lovino squashes a spider. I'm not really sure how I'll ever manage to destroy a vampire. " Feliciano sighed heavily.
"You must think of all the people you will save, all the lives that would be lost and the families torn apart." Ludwig knew first hand that it wasn't easy, but he also knew that it was important. The hunters saved people's lives and this was a war worth fighting.
Still Feliciano seemed unconvinced. "I know why we do it Ludwig; I just don't like to hurt things."
"Nobody does Feliciano, but sometimes it is a necessity."
They were both silent for a moment, feeling the cool breeze run over them, it was a little less cold now, the wind soft instead of sharp, and the coolness in the air made everything thing seem that much more real.
"Ludwig, even if I do change, even if the worst happens," Ludwig flinched, "I'm so glad I got to spend this time with you. After so long... even if it can only ever be these few days, I'm so glad we finally have this." He put his hand on Ludwig's and sighed, before rolling closer to him.
Ludwig watched as Feliciano's gaze slipped lower, it drifted over the rest of his body and his eyes became just a dim shine of amber beneath half-closed lids. He knew he should pull away, as he had done a hundred times before, but then Feliciano looked back up at him and smiled. His lips looked so smooth and warm and soft, that Ludwig almost forgot to breathe.
Frozen, he felt Feliciano take his hand and still holding it, run it across his chest, before lifting it to rest along the soft curve of his face. But for once, Ludwig didn't remove it; instead he lifted his other hand so that he cupped Feliciano's cheeks gently.
"Ludwig..." The longing in his voice made Ludwig's heart beat faster.
Feliciano's breath was warm and sweet, and now only inches away from him. And this time, Ludwig just couldn't take it anymore; he could no longer force himself to stop. Feliciano pushed towards him and their mouths met.
It was gentle at first; slow and cautious as their lips moved slowly against each other and part of Ludwig's mind shouted at him for him to pull away, but he could not. Feliciano's hands glided to the top of his shoulders and he pressed himself against Ludwig, gasping. The sound filled Ludwig with an unbearable, enticing heat and he forced their bodies closer in almost frantic desperation.
It was a moment Ludwig had only dreamt about before, a yearning that he had thrust deep inside himself. Feelings that he only allowed to surface in dark moments of weakness, had finally become something which he realised, he would no longer fight.
Feliciano bit down gently on his lip and Ludwig felt his breath shudder from his lips. In return, he wound his own fingers into Feliciano's hair.
"I love you Ludwig," Feliciano said quietly, held tightly in Ludwig's embrace.
"I love you too Feliciano. More than you'll ever understand."
Antonio stared blankly at the open album in front of him, as always he felt a dull ache deep in his chest as the face of his lost friend smiled up at him. He remembered that day well, he, Gilbert and Francis had planned to go from bar to bar, but had gotten bored of other people's company and decided instead to spend the night together - just the three of them. They ended up lying in a field, drinking bottles of wine and laughing. The picture was one he and Gilbert had taken, Francis passed out asleep on the grass, wine bottle still in his hand, a small smile lingering on his elegant face.
He missed those times, but he missed his friend so much more.
Somehow every picture now seemed tainted by what had happened; it was so painful to remember the times when they had no idea what would happen to them, what their lives would become.
He thought of Lovino and flipped the pages. He only had one of him, hidden right at the back; it was a picture of both of them standing together. His arm wrapped tightly around Lovino's shoulders. For once Lovino wasn't scowling; it was the day he had been accepted at the academy and he had been so happy.
Antonio frowned, as a horrible nagging thought entered his mind 'what if Lovino too, became just a picture in this book?' He put his head in his hands; the last couple of weeks had been a nightmare, his brain constantly providing him with scenario's where Lovino needed help and he wasn't there to give it. He sat up again and flipped between the two pictures.
The photograph of Francis still hurt to look at, even after all these years, still seemed heavy with the baggage what had happened, of what he had promised to himself afterwards and what he had given up. His thoughts kept going round and round in his head, looking for some kind of certainty, some kind of definite answer, 'had he been wrong?' But every time he felt he was close to reaching a conclusion, it seemed to slip away.
A sudden knock at the door roused him from his thoughts, and he quickly pushed the album to one side. "Antonio, are you in there?"
"Yes, come in."
"Is this a good time? You told me I must come to get my bandage changed every day." Feliciano smiled at him as he entered, and Antonio supressed a sigh.
"Of course Feliciano, I'll just go get the dressing."
Returning with fresh supplies Antonio began to unwind the old bandages.
"Feliciano, how on earth did you manage to get grass in here?" He laughed at the bits of greenery dropping to the floor.
"Well I was outside, on the grass with Ludwig and…" Antonio's eyes narrowed and he smirked.
"I see. I think perhaps I do not need to know after all," Feliciano smiled mischievously, but his eyes were blissful. Antonio tried to feel happy for them, but he couldn't quite supress a pang of jealousy.
As the last of the bandages were removed, they both looked down at the healing wound; it had finally scabbed over and looked much less... angry. "I think we can use a lighter dressing today," Antonio said in satisfaction, applying some sticky looking ointment and beginning to wind fresh strips of gauze around Feliciano's arm.
Once the final layer was in place, Feliciano gave it an experimental tug and smiled, "It really feels much better Antonio, do you think that's a good sign?" He asked hopefully.
"I hope so Feli, but we'll still have to wait and see," Antonio replied gently.
"I know." Feliciano sighed. Looking around to distract himself, his eyes fell upon the open album that Antonio had pushed aside. "Hey, that's Lovino!" He exclaimed, "So you do care."
"Of course I do Feli," Antonio said awkwardly, "but it's complicated."
Feliciano looked at him seriously, "No it isn't Antonio, don't you see?" He sighed, "You're worrying – just like Ludwig was, but you know, if you don't take a chance when you have it. Later, it might be gone, it might be too late."
"But what if you took that risk… and then lost everything?" Antonio's voice wavered a bit, his face tormented as he revealed his fear despite himself.
"At least you would have had that time together, would you rather have nothing?" Feliciano bit his lip, "I think Ludwig finally realised that, so if… things go wrong, at least we've had now."
Antonio looked at him sadly; hunched in the chair - Feliciano was trying to be so brave, he was frightened about what might happen - but that seemed to make him more determined not to waste the chance for happiness now. Ludwig was doing the same thing too, he realised as Feliciano said "Goodbye," and left.
Clinging on to those thoughts he looked again at the photographs, he would never stop missing his friend, because they had shared so much. Did he want to be left with just a picture of Lovino? Closing the album, Antonio returned it to the shelf. He knew what he had to do.
"To fence effectively, you must be able to both attack and defend, however as you learnt in our last lesson with the sabre, it is often easier to attack." Kiku began.
The listening class were arrayed around a large mat in the centre of the room. While Kiku insisted that vampires could attack from any angle and so the recruits must learn to fight in a larger area; around the outside of this, more usual, narrow rubber mats were arranged for paired practice of the techniques they were learning.
"Before we move on, to continue with the rapid attacks in which you need to be competent. I want two of you to demonstrate the defensive parries with which you are now familiar. Would anyone like to volunteer?" Kiku asked.
Alfred looked questioningly at Bruce who shrugged in agreement, then both stepped forward looking at Kiku who nodded to them approvingly. "Very good, Alfred, Bruce - move to the centre. Alfred, please begin your first attack, Bruce – you will defend."
The pair moved to face one another as directed, and after a brief salute, Alfred moved quickly – stepping forward to lunge at Bruce, his arm fully extended. Bruce responded immediately, parrying high on the inside of the blade and they disengaged. "Well done Bruce," Kiku remarked looking pleased, "Your use of the 'quarte' parry to block his attack was precise. Alfred, your agility and movement were commendable. Continue."
Once the repertoire of defensive moves had been demonstrated to Kiku's satisfaction; Alfred and Bruce moved back to stand with the others, both were panting slightly from the effort they had made. Fencing was demanding, and it was hot inside the breeches and padded jackets which they wore for these sessions.
As Kiku began to speak to the class again, the door opened and Antonio entered. Dressed in a similar fashion to the others, he carried his sword with him and moved with assurance. For all his usual easy manner and cheerfulness, in this setting, he seemed different somehow and he certainly did the breeches justice. Lili nudged her room-mate Catherine (who was from Monaco), and both girls exchanged looks of approval.
"Ah Antonio," Kiku smiled in welcome, "your arrival is timely. I was about to inform the recruits of the arrangements for this class." He turned to address the waiting trainees, "Antonio has agreed to assist us. He is the most superior fencer we have at the academy and thus will be co-teaching your lessons in this particular discipline. Although the rapier is his preferred weapon, together we shall be able to effectively demonstrate what you are trying to achieve today, watch closely as you will then practice these moves in pairs."
Stepping onto the mat, Antonio smiled at the students before taking position opposite Kiku. Again there was the expected salute, and then they began to fence in earnest.
Even to the inexperienced watching group, it was soon evident that here, Antonio was in his element. Kiku was undoubtedly a good fencer and they had seen in other lessons how deadly he was with a variety of different blades, but Antonio was the master of this one.
He moved with a fluid grace, every movement timely and precise, yet at a punishing speed. To the onlookers, Antonio's body seemed to flow from one stance to another, supple yet unrelenting and his face wore a look of fierce concentration. Time and again, Kiku was forced into a desperate parry to hold him at bay and he was touched several times before they finally disengaged. The students were astounded.
Antonio and Kiku smiled at one another as they moved apart, each had hair that was spiked with sweat and they both panted, but it had been a good fight.
Kiku turned to address the watching recruits, "This is what we seek to teach you, we wish to pass on to you these skills, that you are better equipped to face our common enemy." He paused and then smiled gently, "but first…you must master the basics. Watch as we more slowly demonstrate 'the flying lunge,' and how to counter it. I would then like you to pair up and practice those techniques. Antonio and I will be observing, and will assist you in developing your skills."
A short while later, as the clash and scrape of blades filled the room; Antonio paused on his way to assist Boris (who was mis-timing his attempts to block Chris' attack). "That was a good fight Kiku; we should practice together more often. It certainly helped to release some of the tension," he admitted with a rueful smile.
"You are correct Antonio," Kiku agreed thoughtfully, "I too feel more relaxed." He turned to go to another pair before looking back and adding, "But I suspect neither of us will truly be at ease until they return, will we?" Antonio shook his head slightly, and Kiku nodded before each moved to attend to the students.
By the end of the lesson the recruits were tired and sweaty; they had been given a tough workout today. As he pulled off the padded jacket, Antonio walked over to Kiku, "So have you heard anything?"
"No Antonio, still nothing," Kiku sighed, his dark eyes worried.
"I'm sure Herc's alright Kiku, but Gilbert and Lovino should be back in a few days if they're on schedule, perhaps they will know something." Antonio spoke reassuringly, but he too couldn't wait for them to come back.
Kiku nodded and was about to speak again, when a shout from the door caused them both to turn around.
"Antonio, you're needed at the infirmary immediately," Vash called. His face was pale and he looked desperately sad. As Antonio began to hurry towards him, he transferred his gaze to Kiku. "You need to come too Kiku," he said, before swallowing hard. "Heracles has come in with Gilbert and Lovino, he's wounded – though not badly," he added hastily as he saw Kiku's alarm. "But Kiku, they've brought in Sadik and… I'm really sorry."
Lovino waited wearily, the journey home had been like travelling through a nightmare.
He and Gilbert had buried the female and her sightless face still haunted him. He thought about the blossoms in her hair and tried to forget the matching flower, revealed by her slit skirt as they moved the body; it had been tattooed on her left thigh. Those things seemed so human, spoke of the woman she had been, lost beneath the terrifying face she had worn in the fight. When they were done, he had thought he might never stop throwing up, and only Gilbert had kept him anchored, kept him moving.
He glanced briefly at his companions. Heracles had walked behind them, all that long, hideous time until they reached the car - with Sadik's body cradled in his arms. He had used his incredibly developed levitation skills to help him manage, able to – now that Sadik was no longer animate. Gilbert had wanted to help him, to share the weight of his sad burden, but Heracles had refused almost angrily. He had barely spoken a word to either of them since. Had just staggered along stiffly, his expression blank, he had looked like a dead-man walking.
Gilbert hadn't talked much either. Other than throwing him the occasional "Kay, kid?" and sometimes an awkward reminder that he'd get to see Feli soon, he too – had been lost in his thoughts.
Arriving at the academy, the first minutes had been a blur. They were taken straight to the infirmary and soft hands had bathed his face, pressing him into a chair while Gilbert accompanied Heracles to another room with Sadik. Lovino wasn't tired, had in fact slipped into unconsciousness for much of the drive back, but his mind felt fuzzy and shocked. Somewhere in his stupor, he thought he heard Roma's voice, but that wasn't the one he wanted, no - needed to hear.
Gradually, Lovino began to come around, and he heard someone outside the room talking. Vash was on his way to fetch Kiku and Antonio, a few hot tears slid from beneath his closed lids.
He waited…
Lovino was alive.
Antonio had spent the last couple of weeks feeling awful. His shoulders and back were sore and heavy and his heart was permanently aching. It took him so long to sleep every night, his mind uncontrollably racing - filled with horrible, obsessive thoughts about Lovino's safety over and over again; until eventually, he collapsed from exhaustion. Each morning, the worry would immediately begin again, would make him wish that he hadn't woken up yet, the cycle gave him no respite at all.
But this. Seeing Lovino alive and unhurt.., Antonio felt a deep and consuming happiness and a relief that was so overwhelming - he thought he might burst. His stressed mind and body began to unwind as he looked through the glass panel in the door, seeing the strained, beloved face. Noticing it was tracked with tears, his own eyes welled up uncontrollably. He looked again, wanting to be sure that it was real, that Lovino really was back and that he was safe.
Unable to hold himself back any longer, he raced into the room and pulled Lovino into a tight hug, the tears still pouring from him. He had moved before he even had time to think, and could only hold him as he whispered. "Lovino, I am so sorry," he spoke the words repeatedly, gasping between broken sobs, still so relieved that Lovino was here with him, that he was safe.
Lovino swallowed, everything that had passed before, words that he might have said, or even should say, died on his lips. Their past misunderstandings just didn't seem important at this moment and he hugged Antonio back, holding him with such force that the two of them nearly toppled over. "I missed you so much Antonio. I was so scared. Heracles…Sadik…it was so horrible." His words became muffled in the cloth of Antonio's shirt, as he burrowed his head into his chest.
Antonio stroked his hair softly, "I know Lovi…"
"I don't know if I'll be able to go again, I don't think I can handle it." Lovino's voice was hoarse with shame, "When Sadik died, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, or that I was going mad. I didn't know what to do." Antonio shushed him soothingly, but he continued, "You were right not to go out with me."
"No! I was wrong." Lovino looked up at him in surprise; Antonio's face and voice were now both deadly serious. "There has not been a moment these past few weeks, that I have not regretted my decision not to go with you. Not a moment spent, that I did not hate myself, for being such a filthy coward."
Lovino shook his head, "That's not true," He looked in the direction of the room where Kiku had now joined the others, and his voice started to crack again. "I've seen what it's like now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to go out again. I hate it."
"That is what stops you from becoming a monster Lovino," Antonio tried to reassure him but Lovino just blinked, tears still in his eyes. "Come with me and I'll show you what I mean." He looked towards the other room sighing sadly, "Heracles and Kiku need some time alone with Sadik, so we need to leave them for a while anyway."
Antonio sighed once more, before gently clasping Lovino's hand and leading him up towards his office. Once they were inside the room, he pressed him gently into a chair, before opening his desk and taking out his photograph album.
Lovino watched him in a silence as he flicked through the pages, wondering what this could all mean. A couple of weeks ago, he would have given anything to have Antonio go out into the field with him, now he wasn't even sure if he could go again himself. He could still remember Sadik's face, could still hear Heracles anguished scream; see the look of emptiness in his eyes. Lovino swallowed, whilst his tears had slowly started to stop in the silence of Antonio's office, the memories of what happened, threatened to push them right back up again. In a desperate attempt to distract his mind he moved over towards Antonio, who was still turning the pages of photographs, stopping momentarily at particular images with a look of pain, before continuing.
"There," he said finally, spreading open the page he had sought before, Lovino. Bending forward, he examined it closely.
The page contained lots of very small, passport sized pictures. They consisted of many different men and women; all stuck down onto a large piece of paper which looked like it had been cut from of a dart-board. Upon closer inspection, Lovino realised that more than half the photos had been marked with a black cross and labelled with small letters, G, A, or F. He looked at Antonio in puzzlement.
"The letters stand for Gilbert, Antonio and Francis," Antonio took a deep breath, "it was our kill record."
Lovino gasped, "Are those vampires?"
Antonio nodded, "We were given copies of these photos – they were vampires who had been seen but not eliminated, targets we had to look out for. We called it our vampire 'hit-list' and this was how we kept score."
Looking at the list made Lovino incredibly uncomfortable; he knew that they weren't people. Knew they were evil, that their humanity had left them… that they were killers.
But at the same time they just looked so human, he thought again of the female he had buried.
"If you hunt long enough, you can forget to value life," Antonio's voice was filled with regret, "It becomes easier not to think about what you're actually killing." He gestured to the album, "They were people…once." He sighed.
Lovino was confused, "But the vampires, they're just things now aren't they?"
"Don't get me wrong Lovino, I fucking hate them, and if I ever got my hands on the one that killed Francis I'd…," He stopped mid-sentence, a shudder of resentment running up his back. "But they used to be human, even the half-breeds. I forgot that; me, Francis and Gilbert – we all did. We turned it into a game, to make it easier, it was only after Francis was gone that I realised what we were becoming."
"So you didn't want to come out…?"
"I didn't want to see anyone else get hurt. That includes the vampires, because I know what they've left behind, what their families must have gone through and it kills me." He ran a hand through his hair sighing. "I had lost myself Lovino, as well as Francis - and I was so full of guilt and grief and anger. Then I met you and that made everything different, better in so many ways but in others - much worse. Because I knew that I'd do anything to protect you, and that scared me. I knew if you got hurt - it would break me; that was obvious from the start. But then something else hit me, what if you went through what I did?. What if you started to enjoy the killing? What if doing it changed you, like it changes so many others, like it almost changed me."
"Oh Antonio," Lovino walked round the desk, hesitating for a second before wrapping his arms around Antonio's shoulders. Antonio leant into his touch.
"Of all the young hunters I've seen go out Lovino, only a few remain the same. It's not always obvious, but the killing changes people. It hardens them. I just didn't want the same thing to happen to you. That's why I need to go with you. When I said I would protect you with my life I meant it, even if that means killing again… I won't let you go through what I did, not alone." Antonio held Lovino tightly, his commitment clear.
"But… aren't you afraid, of becoming like Sadik, or…like Francis?" Lovino was stunned.
"If I could kill out of hate, then I can risk dying for love." There was a short silence between them. "That is the only way I can be happy Lovino… I know that now, protecting others, protecting you." He paused, before adding honestly, "I know the dangers and anyway - better that, than to watch you go out again without me. Spending my days panicking again, hating myself for not being with you; wondering if you were in danger. Wondering what you might have to do to save yourself. That, I couldn't stand."
"But what about you Antonio, I can't let you go again, not if it's going to do this to you, it's not worth it." Lovino hesitated; he was terrified of going back out, of killing, of changing in the way that Antonio had described. But if Antonio was willing to conquer his own fear, if he was with him – then maybe he could do it.
"I've given it a lot of thought Lovino. If you're going to do this, I need to come with you. If you'll let me?" He looked seriously up into Lovino's eyes.
"Yes Antonio," Lovino sighed finally, "of course I want you with me – I always did," he finally admitted, "and I'll look after you as well."
"Perhaps we can look after each other."
They held on to one another in silence, for some time after that.
A/N: Natalya – Belarus, Sofia – Ukraine
Hope you enjoyed this week's update :)
We are getting very close to 150 reviews, so the next bonus 'chapter' will probably be up this week. This time it is going to be Roma's database of named vampires… kind of a family tree. If we hit 200 that will probably be another backstory.
Thanks so much to all of you who are being so supportive towards our story… reading, following, favouriting and especially reviewing!
Extra-massive thank yous go to: elizabeta H. Austria, LilyluvsUSUK, Bluebird Rain, Hetalia4eva, Canadatheninja, Janders, gaaleex, XxGlacia ScarletxX, Grell-lover-4ever, qnon, Gobbling-Goblin, notakitty7, Lovethehumor101, BellaVelagosi, Maria and TheAlphaChives.
We are looking forward to our next posts – hope to see you then.
EvilMidget6 and LieutenantProbable ;)
