I'm so sorry about not updating on Thursday like I was supposed to! :( I didn't really work on this chapter much, so I had a TON of it to do in only one night, and I couldn't do it...

Also, SpellCheck is SO going to kill me for doing this, but... THIS CHAPTER'S GOING TO BE WRITTEN LIKE THIS. y'KNOW, WITH caps LOCK ON? iT'LL BE INTERESTING, THAT'S FOR SURE... Xd. ha!

dISCLAIMER: vERA DOESN'T OWN mr, jAMES pATTERSON DOES. hOWEVER, SHE OWNS ocS, AND THE PLOT! tHOUGH NOT ALL OF THE IDEAS USED IN THIS CHAPTER ARE HERS, SHE STILL OWNS THE PLOT. :d oH, YEAH! sHE DOESN'T OWN THE SONG "mISERY bUSINESS" OR cHARLIE tHE uNICORN.

pREVIOUSLY, ON mATTER OVER mIND...

Okay, so the world didn't really come crashing down. But it sure as heck felt like it. And why do I say that? Well...

Actually, I have no idea why I said "And that was when the world came crashing down"... I just felt like saying it. Wait, isn't that OOC? Crap, Vera'll probably kidnap me and make me NOOC again...

Ahem.

Anyway, the doorbell rang, AGAIN!!! We knew it couldn't be anything sent my Itex, though, so we answered the door with reasonable hospitality.

Some guy wearing a plaid checkered shirt said, "I'm here to take you guys to an elephant grassland!"

We all stared at him like he's nuts, which he totally is.

aND NOW...

tHIS STORY STARTED OUT AT A MALL, HEADED THEN HEADED THROUGH A POOL, A THEATER, A TELEVISION STATION, A wAL-mART, A GRAVEYARD, A BATTLEFIELD REENACTMENT SCENE, AN AIRPLANE HANGAR, QUITE A FEW FUNNY FARMS, A mCdONALD'S THAT GROWS CHERRIES ON ITS ROOF, A mINKLE fUR cOMPANY STORY IN THE mCnATIONAL mALL OF THE sTEAKS OF aMERICANIAN cANADIA, THE oAK tOWER, A MILLIPEDE GROWING FARM,A TWIG MENTORING STATION, A CHEETO FACTORY, AND, OF COURSE, A BICARBONATE ANTHILL. iN THIS CHAPTER, WE START OUT AT AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND, THEN HEAD THROUGH A DREADED qUIDITCH FIELD.

sUDDENLY, THE GUYS (fANG, iGGY, gAZZY, AND tOTAL) STARTED DOING THE cHICKEN dANCE, WHICH WAS KIND OF ODD.

tHEN US, THE GIRLS (ME - mAX, nUDGE, aNGEL, eLLA, jANICA, AND dR. mARTINEZ), STARTED DOING THE bUNNY hOP. oKAY, THAT WAS REALLY WEIRD, SINCE i WASN'T DOING THE bUNNY hOP ON PURPOSE. iT WAS LIKE i WAS DOING IT AGAINST MY WILL, OR SOMETHING.

tHE GUY WHO HAS SAID HE WAS HERE TO TAKE US TO AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND LOOKED AT US STRANGELY. hECK, i WOULD'VE LOOKED AT US STRANGELY, TOO, IF i WERE HIM...

tHE GUY'S CELL PHONE SUDDENLY RANG. hE PICKED IT UP, LISTENING FOR HALF A SECOND, HUNG UP, AND THEN RAN OUT WITHOUT A WORD.

wE SUDDENLY STOPPED DANCING. tHEN i STARTED MAKING OUT WITH fANG, eLLA STARTED MAKING OUT WITH iGGY, nUDGE STARTED MAKING OUT WITH gAZZY, aNGEL STARTED MAKING OUT WITH aRI LIKE HE WAS BEFORE HE WAS AN eRASER, WHO HAD MAGICALLY APPEARED, tOTAL STARTED MAKING OUT WITH aKILA, AND dR. mARTINEZ STARTED MAKING OUT WITH jEB, WHO HAD ALSO MAGICALLY APPEARED. jANICA MUST'VE FELT LEFT OUT.

jANICA MUST HAVE FELT LEFT OUT, THAT IS, UNTIL THE GUY THAT HAS SAID HE WAS TAKING US TO AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND SUDDENLY RAN IN AND STARTED MAKING OUT WITH HER.

i HEARD jANICA MUMBLE, "wHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

"yUKI."

(a/n: tHAT'S DEDICATED TO YOU, sAINT, AND YOUR NEW RAT, yUKI! :d)

"hI, yUKI. i'M jANICA."

"i KNOW."

wE MADE OUT FOR, OH, i DON'T KNOW, A WHILE? eH.

sUDDENLY, A huge BOX OF rICE cRISPIES APPEARED IN FRONT OF US. wE ALL STOPPED MAKING OUT, AND fANG SUDDEnLY YELLED, "sNAP, cRACK, AND pOPPLE!"

(a/n: i ACTUALLY SAID THAT! :d)

wE ALL STARED AT HIM LIKE HE'S NUTS WHICH HE TOTALLY IS. tHEN iGGY SUDDENLY YELLED, "i SEE MEESE!" THE WAY YOU'D SAY "i SEE DEAD PEOPLE!"

oDD...

tHEN, GET THIS, yuki SUDDENLY YELLED, "i'M yUKI THE rAT, AND i ROCK YOUR SOCKS LIKE THE cAT IN THE hAT!"

(a/n: i JUST PUT ON xs KIDS SHORTS THAT FIT WHEN i WAS 3, AND THEY STILL FIT. hOLY CRAP...)

oUT OF FREAKING NOWHERE, yUKI POKED jANICA, AND SHE JUST FROZE. lIKE A BUCKET OF WATER IN aNTARCTICA... AND i HAVE FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCE FIRST THAT, LET ME TELL YA.

tHEN HE RAN AROUND jANICA AND POKED gAZZY. gUESS WHAT? gAZZY JUST FROZE, TOO.

aFTER THAT, HE RAN AROUND AND POKED EVERYONE, INCLUDING ME, AND WE ALL FROZE. i HAVE NO IDEA WHY NONE OF US MOVED, i GUESS WE JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT, OR SOMETHING...

tHEN HE DRAGGED US ALL TO THIS TRUCK, WHICH TOOK forever... yUKI MUST BE A WIMPY WUSS. wAIT, ISN'T "WIMPY WUSS" REDUNDANT? iT'S LIKE SAYING "INSANE SCHIZOPHRENICS"... aNYWAY!

hE HOPPED INTO THE DRIVER'S SEAT OF THE TRUCK, THEN - OBVIOUSLY - STARTED IT UP. hE DROVE FOR, LIKE, TEN HOURS. iT WAS really BORING.

hE FINALLY REACHED HIS DESTINATION, i GUESS, SINCE HE SKIDDED TO A STOP, AND JUMPED OUT OF THE TRUCK. eITHER THAT, OR HE'D BEEN POSSESSED BY SOME DEMONIC HOPPIGN SPIRIT, OR SOMETHING...

gah! ellipse overload!

uM... YEAH...

aNYWAY! yUKI DRAGGED ALL OF US OUT THE TRUCK, THEN HE POKED ALL OF US AGAIN. wE UNFROZE, AND FELL TO THE GROUND SINCE OUT FEET really HURT. yOURS WOULD, TOO, AFTER STANDING IN THE SAME PLACE WITHOUT MOVING FOR TEN HOURS!

wOW... THAT WAS nUDGIAN...

fOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, ANYWAY!

yUKI ANNOUNCED, "wE'RE NOW AT THE ELEPHANT GLASSLAND i TALKED ABOUT! oR, AS m.g CALLS IT, "tHE lAND OF ePICAL gRASSYNESS", BUT SHE'S WEIRD, SO HEY.

i BLINKED. "hAY? bUT i THOUGHT WE WERE IN AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND..."

yUKI FACEPALMED. "i MEANT "HEY", AS IN "AECH-EE-WHY", NOT "HAY", AS IN "AECH-AE-WHY"."

"oHHH..."

eLLA PIPED UP, "wHY ARE WE HERE, ANYWAY?"

yUKI PAUSED FOR A SECOND, THEN SHRUGGED. "dUNNO."

aLL FIFTEEN OF US, INCLUDING yUKI HIMSELF, FACEPALMED.

"wAIT A MINUTE," fANG STARTED, "IF THIS IS AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND, WHERE ARE THE ELEPHANTS!?"

yUKI SHRUGGED. "i THINK THEY MAY HAVE GONE TO GET SOME COFFEE. tHESE ELEPHANTS HAVE SOME SORT OF COFFEE FETISH."

i GRUMBLED. "sTUPID ELEPHANTS AND THEIR STUPID COFFEE BREAKS..."

jEB LOOKED AT ME ODDLY, AS DID mAGNOLIA. tHOUGH i HAVE NO IDEA HOW magnolia LOOKED AT ME ODDLY, BUT SHE DID, i TELL YA, SHE DID!

yUKI SUDDENLY SHOUTED, SOUNDING EXASPERATED, "i'M A HEADHUNTER! i DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS CRAP!"

wE ALL STARED AT HIM LIKE HE'S NUTS, WHICH HE TOTALLY IS.

oKAY, i'M GOING TO STOP SAYING THAT, NOW...

aNYWAY! i'M ALSO GOING TO STOP SAYING THAT, NOW...

oKAY, SO, BACK TO THE POINT! yUKI SUDDENLY RAN AWAY, IN SOME RANDOM DIRECTION. jANICA CHASED AFTER HIM, BUT SHE FELL DOWN AFTER TWO STEPS. "zoi!"

sUDDENLY, A huge HERD OF ELEPHANTS APPEARED IN FRONT OF US, THEN CHARGED TOWARD jANICA.

"i GUESS THEY TAKE "ZOI" AS A PERSONAL OFFENSE..." SOMEONE MUMBLED, THEN WE ALL REALIZED THAT SINCE THE ELEPHANTS WERE CHARGING TOWARDS jANICA, THEY WERE ALSO CHARGING TOWARDS us.

"crap!" WE ALL SHOUTED, AND STARTED RUNNING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF THE ELEPHANTS, WHICH JUST MADE THEM RUN FASTER.

tHAT'S WHEN nUDGE POINTED SOMETHING OUT. "uH... YOU GUYS KNOW THAT SOME OF US HAVE WINGS AND CAN FLY AWAY, RIGHT?"

iT WAS AN AWESOME PLAN, EXCEPT... ELEPHANTS COULD JUMP. wHO KNEW?

aNGEL SQUEALED AS A PINK ELEPHANT (WAIT, WHAT!? A pink elephant!?) BOUNDED TWENTY FEET UP IN THE AIR AND TRIED TO DRAG HER TO THE GROUND.

i DON'T THINK ANY OF KNEW WHY WE DIDN'T JUST FLY HIGHER. wE'RE IDIOTS LIKE THAT. aT LEAST IT KEPT THE ELEPHANTS FROM TRAMPLING EVERYONE ELSE...

"oh em squee!" fANG SQUEALED. "i forgot to brush my teeth! and i chewed gum!"

"wHY ARE YOU omsING, fANG!?" i ASKED, STARTLED.

"i'm not pmsing!" HE SCREAMED AT ME. wOW. tHAT WAS really ooc... FIVE BUCKS SAYS vERA AND jAVA WERE GOING TO KIDNAP HIM AND MAKE HIM nooc EVENTUALLY.

tHREE GIRLS THAT LOOKED LIKE TOTAL FANGIRLS POPPED UP. aLL OF THEM SHOUTED AT THE SAME TIME, "pms MEANS pmS!" THEN THEY DISAPPEARED. oDD... aND YOU KNOW WHO THEY LOOKED LIKE? wELL, ONE OF THEM LOOKED LIKE sKITTLES, ANOTHER ONE LOOKED LIKE vERA, AND THE THIRD WAS UNFAMILIAR, BUT I HAD THIS WEIRD FEELING THAT yUKI HAD MENTIONED HER...

(a/n: tHAT WOULD BE YOU HE'S TALKING ABOUT, m.g. :d)

gAZZY STARTED SUDDENLY SINGING. "i'M IN THE BUSINESS OF MISERY, LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP!"

wE ALL STARED AT HIM ODDLY.

"sHE'S GOT A BODY LIKE AN HOURGLASS THAT'S TICKING LIKE A CLOCK!"

"uH... gAZZY?" i SAID.

"iT'S A MATTER OF TIME YOU BEFORE WE ALL RUN OUT..."

"wHY ARE YOU SINGING pARAMORE?"

"wHEN i THOUGHT HE WAS MINE, SHE CAUGHT HIM BY THE MOUTH."

"gA-ross MENTAL IMAGE..." nUDGE SAID.

"i WAITED EIGHT LONG MONTHS, SHE FINALLY SET HIM FREE..."

"gAZZY-" i STARTED TO SAY, BUT HE CUT ME OFF. "i TOLD HIM i COULDN'T LIE, HE WAS THE ONLY FOR ME."

"-PLEASE-"

"tWO WEEKS AND WE HAD CAUGHT ON FIRE."

"-STOP-"

"sHE'S GOT IT OUT FOR ME, BUT i WEAR THE BIGGEST SMILE!"

"-SINGING."

"oKAY!" gAZZY CHIRPED, AND STOPPED SINGING. tHAT WAS ODD... i DIDN'T EVEN KNOW gAZZY COULD CHIRP. aND HE DIDN'T NORMALLY LISTEN TO ME. bUT THAT WAS AN AFTERTHOUGHT.

cONSIDERING THE FACT THAT WE WERE STILL BEING CHASED BY ELEPHANTS, i SHRUGGED IT OFF AND HOPED NOT TO GET IMPALED BY THE ELEPHANTS' TUSKS OR SOMETHING.

nUDGE SHOUTED, "wHO are YOU!?"

i HAVE NO IDEA WHO SAID IT, BUT SOMEONE SHOUTED, "i'M A MEMBER OF THE fRENCH pOLISH tEAM!"

tHEN SOMEONE ELSE SHOUTED, "wELL, i'M A MEMBER OF THE pOLISH fRENCH tEAM!"

wHOEVER THEY WERE WENT BACK AND FORTH WITH COMMENTS ABOUT THE fRENCH pOLISH tEAM AND THE pOLISH fRENCH tEAM, WHATEVER THOSE ARE...

wE WERE, SURPRISINGLY, STILL BEING CHASED BY THE ELEPHANTS. i DIDN'T KNOW ELEPHANTS COULD JUMP THAT HIGH FOR SO LONG...

bUT THAT'S KIND OF BESIDE THE POINT. wHAT'S NOT BESIDE THE POINT IS THAT i SUDDENLY STARTED SPITTING IN tOTAL'S FACE.

oKAY, SO THAT'S also BESIDE THE POINT, BUT STILL...

"shun the nonbeliever!" dR. mARTINEZ SQUEAKED. "shun! ssssshhhhhuuuuunnnnn!!!!!"

jANICA -LE GASP-ED. "cHARLIE THE uNICORN! oh em squee!"

tHE TWO OF THEM STARTED CHATTING AMIABLY ABOUT SOME UNICORN NAMED cHARLIE, WHATEVER that WAS... wOW. tHERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS i KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT.

sUDDENLY, THEY - dR. m AND jANICA - STARTED SINGING.

"lUNGFISH, BLACKFISH, ALLIGATOR, ICEFISH, ARMORHEAD, HAMMERHEAD, ANACONDA, FLATHEAD, MANTA RAY, STINGRAY, FLATHEAD, FANGTOOTH MORAY, GOBLIN SHARK, GRASS CARP, ROUND, RIVER, BAT RAY, NOODLEFISH, HAGWISH, MAN O' WAR, LADYFISH, BLACK EEL, BABY SEAL, SPRAT, KOI, ELECTRIC EEL, LAMPREY, PEREJEY, YELLOW-EDGED MORAY, SALMON SHARK, SLEEPER SHARK, FEATHERBACK, EAGLE RAY!"

tHEN THE SQUEALED LIKE CRAZY fangIRLS AND HIGHFIVED. wHAT THE... WHACKOS.

aNYWAY, THE ELEPHANTS FINALLY GOT TIRED, AND ALL OF THE LITTLE- ER... MEDIUM-SIZED- ER... YOU KNOW WHAT? nEVERMIND.

aNYWAY, THE ELEPHANTS FINALLY GOT TIRED, AND THEY DISAPPEARED IN A CLOUD OF RADIOACTIVE SMOKE.

i WONDER WHY THE SMOKE IS RADIOACTIVE? i THOUGHT TO MYSELF, THEN SHOOK MY HEAD.

yUKI COMMENTED, "i GUESS THIS ISN'T AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND ANYMORE, SEEING AS WHO THEY'RE AREN'T ANYMORE ELEPHANTS..."

"wHERE ARE WE, ANYWAY?" eLLA ASKED HIM.

"eRM... sOUTH dAKOTA?"

wE ALL SHOUTED, "what!?"

sHOULD i TYPE LIKE THIS FOR THIS a/n? nAH, BETTER NOT, TOO CONFUSING... (t)here we go! :)

Okay, so huggles to M.G (M.G Christiani) for your bloody wicked MCAWESOMENE help with this chapter. I would never have thought of "where are the elephants!?", haha...

Wow. This A/N is surprisingly short for Matter...

Did you like the format of this chapter? Do you think I should do more like it? Or keep them normal? I need input!

Ooh... cinnamon pita chips...

R&R?