Chapter Nine: These wounds, they will not heal

L gave Raito a day to calm down. Then, too nervous yet to face the boy's wrath, he gave him another day before he made his way back over to the boy's apartment, but Raito was not home. He waited another day, but Raito never came back home. L was sure Raito would not have gone to his parent's…so where?

Worried, L decided to drop into the little gay bar that Raito worked at around nine pm, hoping Raito would be on duty. No such luck. It was the weekend and crowded with young adults, but no Raito. L gathered enough courage to ask the bartended about the teen. It was a different bartender than the one from before, but the guy smiled secretively before nodding, "I know Raito. He's off tonight. Check at home."

"I checked his apartment already. Thank you anyways."

The bartender shrugged but a young waiter standing next to L emptying a trey of glasses said, "He's probably hitting the parties. Raito likes to unwind on his nights off. The waiter and bartender shared a little smile together, as if they knew more about Raito than L.

L asked, "Can you tell me which parties and where?"

The waiter asked, "You a new boyfriend or something?"

"Or something." L could be just as secretive.

The waiter laughed. "Raito is probably at Tyson's party." L shivered at the mention of Raito's other, more conspicuous boss. "The guy is having a big bash tonight. Select few. You won't get in."

"I won't?"

"No. VIP party, if you catch my drift."

"Are you on the invite list?"

The waiter shrugged playfully. "I may be."

"Could you take me? I need to find Raito. It's important."

"You have to wait till I get off."

"Thank you."

"I get off in three hours."

L groaned. "No sooner?"

He laughed. "Sorry I got to pay the rent. Have a seat. I'll come get you when my shift ends."

L took a seat and ordered a strawberry daiquiri. Patiently, he waited out the three hours. By the time the boy came over to L in jeans and a red tank top it was midnight. L could only imagine what Raito must be up to by now at a party hosted by a loan shark and drug dealer.

The boy escorted L to a large apartment building down town. It was a little more glamorous than Raito's, but not by far. There looked to be about only five apartments in total, but they were large apartments, looking like they had plenty of space and each with tall hedges by the front doors.

The young waiter took L's hand in his for show, and knocked on the door of the apartment where bass beats pounded on the other side.

A boy with spike black hair and a ripped wife beater opened the door. He leaned in the doorway with a bottle of beer dangling in one hand. The boy who had escorted L smiled cheerfully, "Hey Roz."

"Who's he?" His eyes drifted to L whose head was growing a headache from the loud music.

"My date. He's new in town and I wanted to show him the best time he can have. You mind?"

Roz shrugged. "Tyson would just be glad you actually came for once."

The waiter laughed, ran his free hand through his thick brown hair in a flirtatious manner and said, "Well, I am a busy guy."

Roz made room them the two to come through the door. The waiter led L down a maze of people and into a stale-smelling kitchen. Then he dropped L's hand. "As far as I go. I make it a habit not to associate with this crowd. No offense or anything but Raito doesn't have the best of friends if you know what I mean."

"I thought-"

"Naw sorry. You thought wrong. Raito is around here somewhere, you will find him I'm sure. But my sister lives a few blocks over, I live with her. Now I got you in, so you're welcome and all but now I got to go."

Left standing alone, L looked around the room through the haze of cigarette smoke. Where to start? People were crowded everywhere, leaving almost no room at all to move. L didn't like the lack of space between his own body and others. He was not use to places like this.

Taking a deep breath, he knew he had to tough it out just long enough to find Raito. He began moving around through the apartment's rooms looking for the teen, completely scared at what he would find. The people, mostly men, and a few boys L was positive could not have been old enough to drive, were crowded everywhere talking, laughing, kissing, and drinking. This was no place for impressionable boys.

He was about to give up when a half-naked blur came flying past him in what L was thinking was a small computer room. "Raito!"

Raito whirled around and almost dropped the handful of napkins he was pressing to his left temple. L noticed the boy was shirtless and barefoot. His plaid boxers were stained down both legs and he reeked of sweat, cologne, and…lubricant? His amber eyes were wide-awake but his pupils were almost nonexistent as they looked into L's black irises, and his hair, matted with sweat, looked sticky and gummy.

"Can you take me to the hospital?" Raito's breathy words were spoken almost too fast for L to understand.

"Raito…" L could not think. His brain had switched off power as he stared at this once beautiful and intelligent boy.

"See, I was laying in the floor…and there was this spider…and, and it was crawling towards me…you see, and it bit me and I think it crawled into my skin and now it's be-behind my eyes and I can't see too good and I can totally feel it moving and I-"

"Raito…"

"tried to get it out." He carried on. "But I didn't have any tweezers…" He dropped his crumpled napkins by his foot, revealing a jumble of scratches that traveled down the whole side of the teens face.

L felt his jaw drop. He felt his head shake, as if just shaking the image away would make Raito back to normal. The kid bent over, picking up his napkins. "I tried to use a fork but it wouldn't get deep enough." Raito scratched at his face, his eyes jerking around the room as if looking for something in a hurry.

L noticed the blue bags under his eyes. Had Raito been awake for three days?

"I can feel it crawling." The boy scratched harder.

L grabbed Raito's wrist, forcing his nails away from his face. "Don't."

Using all his skill not to vomit from the smell, L wrapped an arm around the boy's waist. "Where is the bathroom, Raito?"

The boy began shaking his head, his eyes dropping to the floor. He pressed his closed fist to his forehead and mumbled something under his breath that L couldn't understand, but L knew he was talking to himself anyways. Raising his voice, L demanded, "Where is the bathroom, Raito? Do you know?"

With a whimper of a scolded child, Raito lifted his hand and pointed. L followed his directions. In the bathroom, he propped the boy up against the counter by the sink. He turned the water on snatching a hand towel off the rack behind him. He wet it thoroughly then pressed it to Raito's temple. "Hold this there. Can you do that?"

Raito brushed him away. "The spider! Make it get out!"

"Don't pick at it! Raito, no." Using force, he grabbed Raito's hands and held them down. "Look at me. Look at me Raito." The boy's bottom lip quivered, and a light seemed to go off in his head as he snatched his gaze up from the floor to lock eyes with L. "Do not touch your face." L ordered. "Am I understood here? Do not touch your face."

Raito nodded his understanding. He seemed unable to take his eyes off L now. Those simple words; Look at me Raito. They seemed to echo in the teens mind, unlocking a door to the sound of voices that seemed to come only from a dream.

Look at me Raito. Don't close your eyes. Look at me.

it's under my...sh,shirt..

Shh, keep looking at me. Don't close your eyes.

L asked, "Where are your clothes?" The boy's gaze continued unblinking. "Raito…" L sighed. "Where. Are. Your. Clothes?"

The boy shook his head. A louder voice had come through, silencing the others. He scratched at his face. "I can still feel it." He whined.

L had had enough of this. He wrapped his arms around Raito, steadied him, and then marched into the hallway with him. Raito began pointing then. "In there." He said.

"Your clothes are in there?"

Raito didn't answer. L half carried Raito to the room he pointed out. He opened the door to find it was a bedroom with four guys inside on the bed having sex. L looked away. Jesus Christ, what has Raito gotten himself in to?

He decided to take control of the situation. These guys were probably on whatever drug was still raging through Raito's system. "NPA!" He shouted. That caught their attention. "My apologies but the party is over. I have watched everything you've done from a tiny camera hidden in the fire detector. I will give you a twenty minute head start."

They scrambled out of the bed faster than lightening. They had all taken their clothes off at different parts of the room. L waited until they were dressed and gone before he dropped the teenager onto the bed. The sheet looked stained and gross. L knew if the boy was in his right mind he would punch L dead square in the jaw for setting him down on something so disgusting. But Raito was not in the right state of mind. Right now, he believed a bug had taken up residence behind his eye.

L sorted through the assortment of clothes left on the floor for Raito's, but he could not find anything that remotely looked like something the boy would wear or even fit him. Eventually L came across a shirt just Raito's size. A plain white T. L brought the shirt to his nose and breathed deep. He smelled Raito's cologne. "Is this yours?" L looked to the boy for answers but Raito was too busy digging at his face. "No! I said not to do that." He grabbed Raito's hand away from his face then shoved the shirt in it. "Is this yours?"

Raito rolled over onto his side, curling into a fetal position. L had to just go with it. He forced Raito to sit up and slipped the shirt over his head. It was a perfect fit. L then found a pair of baggy, ripped up jeans. He placed them on Raito and found that they fit perfectly as well.

Looking down at the boy whose pupils had shrunk to nothing, whose hair was tangled and dirty, whose body reeked of something sickening, he saw that Raito looked like a simple, normal teenager in this outfit. A real teenager. One who doesn't comb his hair. One who sleeps all day and stays up all night. One who doesn't study as if his life depended on it and who didn't try to save the world from itself.

Too bad L knew better.

He snatched Raito out of the bed and helped him down the hallway. The blood traveling down Raito's face helped keep the other party guests from getting too close or interfering. Once outside, L called a taxi, placing himself and Raito inside of it. He gave the driver the boy's address, and then held the cloth to Raito's temple. "You don't need stitches. A bandage, however, is in order." The look in Raito's eyes at that moment told L the boy was seeing either three of him, or none at all. It was going to be a long night.

Outside of the apartment, L leaned the boy against the door so he could feel Raito's pockets for the key. There was nothing. The pockets were empty. "Raito, where did you put the key?"

The boy mumbled something about bugs. L sighed.

"I can let you in." A neighbor stood in the hall, just outside his own apartment. "That boy gave me a key a while back. He is always losing his. He says anyways."

Raito was not one to lose things. That was a thought for another day. L had to get the kid inside. He took the key offered to him by the neighbor, unlocked the door and went in dropping Raito down onto the couch.

"I've watched that kid." The neighbor said, peering into Raito's apartment. "He's running from something." He glanced at Raito with sympathy. "On some days, I don't think he even knows what he's running from."

L frowned at hearing this. He pulled off Raito's shoes then his shirt. "Come on. You need a shower."

Raito moaned, trying to push L away. "I don't have it under my shirt!"

"Come on, Raito. Help me undress you."

The neighbor watched a few minutes, then growing bored, left. L ignored it and forced Raito up and into the bathroom where he tried stripping off the boy's pants.

"I can do it." He pushed L off with a small, but harsh shove.

"Alright." L removed his own shirt, shoes, and pants.

At the sight of seeing him naked, Raito smiled and moved into L's personal space expecting more than a common shower.

"No, Raito." Gently, L pulled the shower curtain back, turning on the water. He climbed in, holding his hand out for the other. Raito obeyed. He let L scrub his body with the bath wash. Twice. Then allowed him to wash his hair and even brush his teeth after they dried off.

Tired, L finally put Raito to bed in simple pajamas. They boy rolled onto his back, his eyes wide, his breathing heavy. Then he started picking at his arm. "Don't." L ordered

"I'll stop when I can feel again."

"You can feel, Raito."

"The spi-"

"There is no spider." He said calmly.

"It's in my skin in my arm now and it's eating everything and I-" L didn't listen. He didn't want to listen.

He stared down at the boy for a while. Just watching him. L wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt himself. Is this what L gave up half his life span for? A kid who pumped himself full of drugs and took part in an orgy with four guys too old for him?

L stood there until the boys eyes began to droop; then he went to gather all of Raito's dirty clothes, tossing them into the hamper in the bathroom. He checked on Raito one more time, placing his hand upon the boy's chest to make sure it was still rising and falling, then went back to the couch. He sat there for a long time just thinking.

Without any control, L stood up and flipped the coffee table over. The contents spilled to the floor. He kicked through the schoolbooks, kicking them out of his way. He was boiling with rage. Raito was the one he was trying to save by giving up half his life and Raito was throwing his own life away willingly.

The absurdity of it could have caused him to bark madly with laughter. Instead, he punched the wall with his fist until he was out of breath. He fell back onto the couch closing his eyes. It was awhile before he finally drifted off to sleep.

He awoke the next morning to find Ratio still in bed, tangled in his bed sheets like a little kid. L let him stay there. Raito needed rest and L certainly was not ready for words between them.