The sounds of the storm continued to intensify, although still somewhat muffled, and both women were lulled into a sleepy lassitude.
Miranda finally shifted, having grown increasingly uncomfortable, the stickiness of skin on skin finally becoming too much to bear.
"Andrea." She kissed the top of the dark head and ran her hands up sweat-dampened arms before lightly grasping at strong shoulders, pushing gently.
"Huh?" Andy was roused from a partial dream-state.
"Darling, you need to move now, I feel like I'm suffocating."
Andy pushed forward, separating their bodies before twisting around, planting her feet on the ground. "Ugh, my back is soaked." She looked at Miranda, noting the heightened color and a nearly feverish gaze. "I can use some water; I'll get us both some."
While Andréa headed towards the kitchen Miranda stood and stretched, wincing as her muscles, still very sore from the prior day's activities, sent ripples of discomfort through her system. She reached for Andréa's phone, sending a text to both her daughters and the Sachs' just as Andréa returned with two glasses of iced Pellegrino.
"Oh thank god we remembered to fill up the ice chests." She drank deeply, half the glass gone in seconds, when she jumped, emitting a slight squeak, as a cold something contacted with her neck.
Andy laughed at Miranda's reaction to the soft ice pack she'd wrapped in a thin dish towel and held just below her hairline. "Sorry, I really didn't intend to startle you…" She looked up with a playful gleam and leaned in closer. "…much."
Miranda shivered, not so much from the ice but from the words whispered seductively in her ear. "I swear you are going to be the death of me." The words were menacing in the pitched tone she affected but the smile she bestowed left no doubt that she was far from angry. Indeed, with the cooling properties of the ice water and ice pack she was starting to get her energy back; feeling more playful than she had in what seemed hours.
To emphasize the point she fished an ice cube out of her glass when Andréa's eyes were elsewhere and unceremoniously dropped it between two very nicely developed breasts.
The expected shriek and cussing was perhaps a bit louder than anticipated but Miranda smiled with self-satisfaction into the glare directed her way.
"Miranda…"
As Andréa rumbled low and gravelly various parts of her body perked up.
Affecting an innocence she'd not possessed in at least thirty years Miranda answered with a coy smile and lilting voice. "Yes, Andy?" She finished with a smirk at the flummoxed expression as once again she threw another off their game.
Andy nearly swallowed her tongue; only once before had she ever heard Miranda use the diminutive form of her name and she winced internally at the circumstance even as she looked on in wonder. "Honestly woman, you are as unpredictable as the weather!"
"Mmmm; I suppose I am. I do hope you don't find it too difficult to keep up."
They both shared a laugh which quieted into another one of their intense eye-staring sessions.
"We really need to talk."
The penetrating blue gaze didn't falter until Miranda dipped her head slightly. "Yes, we do."
Andy was surprised by the easy acquiescence and searched for a place to start unaware that Miranda was also attempting to find a way forward.
After they settled back on the sofa one minute passed and then two until Miranda grew impatient with her own trepidation. "Honestly you'd think this would be easier."
Andy returned from an internal debate with a small smile, mostly from relief as her natural instinct to act as a mediator and fixer nearly spurred her to spill her heart while the part concerned with self-preservation and even pride cautioned her to hold back.
Miranda ran a slightly shaking hand through her silver hair further contributing to her state of dishabille. Where to begin?
"I am not really an easy person to…" She cleared her throat, and paused, dissatisfied with that particular approach.
"Hmm, why I feel a sudden need to state the obvious…" This drew a slight chuckle from the woman seated a foot or so away on the sofa and a hand that moved to rest on her bare thigh, just above the knee.
Andy meant the gesture to be comforting but the softness of the skin and the awareness that she was touching the woman in an intimate manner, even if it was a casual intimacy, made her entire hand feel as though it were electrically charged.
Miranda observed the slight widening of the soft brown eyes and registered a sparking of desire that radiated out from the innocently placed hand. With a force of will she ignored it, although not without a sigh, and returned to her task; feeling both relief and consternation when Andréa did not remove it.
"I feel a good many things for you. You challenge and intrigue me like no one I've ever experienced and trust me, I've experienced a goodly number of individuals, both male and female." She paused and waited for a reaction, slightly disappointed when the usually transparent countenance before her maintained her steady, gentle smile. "You don't seem surprised by that Andréa, why is that?"
Andy's smile broadened slightly as her eyes twinkled and she gave a small shrug then settled back into the cushions and stretched her legs out, propping her feet on the coffee table. "There's something about you that I've been able to intuit; maybe you can even say recognize, that has always made me believe you've not limited your, ah, associations because of gender." At the slightly unsettled look and further straightening of an already tense posture she hastened to add, "no, it's not obvious or anything, I wasn't even entirely sure, it's just you don't have that whatever it is that shuts down speculation by those that maybe are the same way."
"So you are saying?"
"I've always been bi-sexual although I do believe I lean more towards women; and definitely one woman in particular." Her thumb seemed to take on a mind of its own then and lightly stroked the skin beneath her hand.
Miranda shivered and pushed the hand away. "I can't think when you do that."
Andy increased the wattage of her smile and showed some teeth; "Good; maybe thinking is not really what we need to be doing right now."
This was met with an exaggerated casting of eyes to the heavens. "Perhaps you do not need to but I can't just go into something blindly."
"Why not Miranda?"
"Because it's not that easy!"
It was only a minimal increase in volume but it was enough to telegraph that Miranda was still very conflicted about what was happening between them. "So, explain it to me. Start there. Or maybe I should just go ahead and say it; I told myself that I needed to wait but I think I need to state for you very clearly my intentions because I want there to be no doubt." Andy put her hand back on Miranda's leg, a few inches higher this time, and squeezed lightly.
"I want you; I want to be with you." Andy steadied her voice; she was finally able to bring all of the feelings she'd been experiencing for months to light. "I admire you, I am fascinated by you, I desire you; I cannot get enough of looking at you and it has grown so incredibly hard not to reach out and touch you. You have no idea what a struggle it's been to work so closely together and be forced to pretend that my desire to please you and make your life as easy as possible was due only to wanting to be good at my job; that my desire for you didn't exist."
Miranda interrupted, but her tone was not unkind, it was almost tender. "You're really not that good at pretending Andréa, as I alluded to in a prior conversation, I've known for months now of your attraction."
Andy's skin reddened once again but she ignored it and the confirmation that Miranda had known. "And yet you didn't send me away?"
Miranda was about to bite out that same half-truth she'd been feeding herself, for how long exactly?, regarding the difficulties in finding good help but her voice faltered and she admitted plainly, "I couldn't."
They stared for several seconds when Andy sat up and shifted closer, lifting her hand and caressing the soft skin of a nearly smooth cheek with the backs of her fingers. "Did you also figure out that I'm ridiculously in love with you? That I don't want just your body but that I want you, all of you, to be with me?"
Miranda closed her eyes and shivered. "I've suspected; perhaps even hoped. But." She gripped the hand and pushed it to the couch between them, holding it back and away. "But I've also hoped I was wrong."
"But why, Miranda…?!"
"Shhh." She placed a finger on the sensual lower lip, forcing all of her energy into holding it back from its seemingly autonomous desire to trace the curves and dips of the entire mouth in hopes of drawing the return of a smile; the frown and hurt reflecting back were nearly too much.
"I have two reasons for saying that to you and neither are because I do not find you desirable or your desire tempting." Unconsciously Miranda slid forward a couple of inches, pulling a fidgeting hand into her lap and entwining their fingers.
"There are just facts Andréa that exist that make a relationship between us nearly impossible and both are due our ages." She squeezed the hand held in hers and willed the other woman to remain silent. "I promise to listen to you but first I need you to hear me. I am forty-nine years old and you I believe are what, twenty-eight?" She waited for the nod and continued. "Twenty-one years Andréa, twenty-one years! Do you have any idea how significant a span that is? If we were to become involved I will eventually hold you back, I will begin to look like an old woman in a decade at best, I will be seventy-one when you reach the age I am now. Andréa I will die long before you, leaving you to face the remainder of your own life without a good chance at finding another as I will have robbed you of the ability to do so!"
Miranda's throat muscles tightened, choking her words as she fought a nearly overwhelming sadness.
"Miranda!" The strident tone pulled her back from the barren wasteland of bitterness into which she was descending.
Andy leveled her voice and chided; "Miranda, Miranda why am I even a little surprised that you have already planned the entirety of our potential relationship and negated the right for it to even begin." She shook her head in resignation. "And based on only one of the infinite possibilities of how it could or maybe, play out?!" This time it was Andy who stood and paced the area between coffee table and television, mumbling in agitation.
Finally she stopped and pinned Miranda with a glare that impressed even "The Dragon". "You are so fucking exasperating sometimes and the only reason I'm not thoroughly pissed right now with you is because while voicing your reservations you've shown me that you really do care. But that's not a free pass, not even close." She looked at her quizzically for a moment then continued. "Has it occurred to you that by trying to make sure I'm never hurt in some future-maybe-place that you are hurting me now by taking away my power to decide for myself?"
She turned abruptly and took several more turns back and forth before grabbing the damp hair that had come loose from her pony tail and lifting it off of her neck. "Arhhh! Truly you…" Several deep breaths and Andy regained her control. She seemed to deflate a bit and moved back towards the couch, dropping back onto it in an ungracious manner. "Okay, look, yes I'm younger than you but not so young that I don't know my own mind or more importantly, my own heart. So you don't get to decide. You decide for yourself if you want me or not but you don't get to do it out of some noble, but wrong, wrong, wrong idea that you will be taking something away from me if you do decide to let me in. And yeah, I do get what you didn't say this time but I remember from earlier; but I promise you, I won't hurt you like that, I wouldn't…"
Miranda could take remaining silent no longer and bit out angrily. "How could you even begin to promise me that in ten years you won't wake up and look across the bed and decide that I was really too old and that you'd made a mistake? Andréa you are not even close to hitting your sexual peak whereas I'm on the other side of it. How will you feel when all I am interested in is perhaps your companionship? I've never been with anyone where the sexual interest remains; that goes away, it always goes away."
"Christ Miranda! It's not just about sex! Although I don't believe that that's inevitable; sure it may take some work on both our parts but that's what happens in any relationship; it's not all about you or your age!" Andy took another deep breath; she really wanted to not get overly excited, as she did tend towards a more expressive manner of communicating when she was either angry or felt challenged. "I'm not naïve enough to think your age isn't going to be an issue but Miranda, every relationship has issues!"
Miranda was growing increasingly desperate for the stubborn woman to understand. "Yes! I know that. But don't you see? The ultimate issue is that there is an overwhelming probability that I will die before you. You deserve to build a family and have that family with you until you are old!"
"Miranda, there are no guarantees of that happening regardless of who I choose!" Andy thought of Jess and could barely stop a sudden flood of tears.
"I don't think you truly understand what you're saying. You don't know what it will feel like…"
That did it; those final few words snapping the already stretched band holding Andy's anger at being essentially patronized, at bay.
"You know what Miranda?! Shut up! Just stop talking right now!" Andy was once again on her feet but this time she didn't move away, just stood, breathing heavily with an expression that carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Miranda gaped up at her, too shocked to consider a retort.
Andy leaned forward putting her hands on her hips. "For someone who obviously has the benefit of years to gain all that life knowledge you really don't have a fucking clue so stop making assumptions about what I do and do not 'understand'!"
Miranda stared at the disheveled, sweating and lightly panting vision of her former assistant like she'd never seen her before. And perhaps she really hadn't. This passionate woman with the deadly serious expression was so completely different from the naïve girl that started working for her nearly two years before; different from the beautiful butterfly who had emerged from her mundane tweed cocoon; different even from the sensual suitor who had been so forward with her intentions. No, this woman was magnificent and magnificently complex and Miranda was enraptured. Acceptance of the possibility that this woman did understand exactly what she was asking, that she wasn't going to give up when the life between them grew difficult, birthed the first tiny shoots of hope in an austere landscape of daily precision.
It was then Miranda realized that her heart had already decided months before, defying her more cynical mind as it underplayed the possibility and clamored for action to remove the temptation. She should have known when she couldn't send her away that this moment was inevitable; Andréa had become as necessary as breathing and she wanted so badly to give in as holding back was like rationing the amount of oxygen she took in.
Before the silence between them could grow too long and lead to further disharmony Miranda stood slowly, closely invading Andréa's personal space; where she took agitated hands within her own and rubbed them gently.
"Then help me understand. I want to and I promise that I will listen."
lXlXlXl
Andy was stopped short by the sincerity of Miranda's assurance but still she hesitated.
"I need to calm down first; I don't want to talk about it when I'm still angry."
Miranda's allowed her ever-present poker face a moment of respite and offered softly; "I am sorry; I didn't intend for you to feel like I was deciding for you." In a rare admission of fallibility she offered an explanation. "You know how I'm used to running the show; it's a hard habit to break and something I don't believe I've had much success with in my private life."
"Yeah, well you managed to hit just about all of my buttons in one round. I hate feeling powerless in my relationships and it's not something I'll accept, ever." She stared meaningfully until deciding to settle onto the couch once again.
She was about to speak when a small chime notified her of a new text message. "Damn, we forgot the one-thirty check-in."
"I thought we'd decided to save our batteries and only turn our phones on once an hour."
As Andy fired off a quick assurance to her parents that they were still intact and sent one to the twins as well, she shrugged.
"I forgot to turn off my phone and mother was very persistent."
Miranda snorted, intuiting that she had just witnessed a very extreme understatement. "Yes, well I'm sure she is just thrilled that it's me with whom you are trapped."
Not wishing to have the impending discussion sidetracked Andy just smiled enigmatically and offered only a playful, "Perhaps."
The byplay soothed her disquiet but her newly found calm was displaced when she felt a slight shimmy beneath her feet. Looking up she caught Miranda's eye who nodded; having also felt it.
Afraid to really know they headed in tandem to the doors but their vision was severely limited by the force of the wind driven water against the glass. "Dammit, I wish we could see what's going on!"
"Have you tried any of the windows on the other side of the house?" Andy shook her head, having forgotten that the back bedrooms on that floor had windows as the third level did not.
They headed to the room Nigel had used and, since it was on the lee-side of the house and there was no patio to block their view they were able to gain a better picture of their circumstances.
"Uh, we're surrounded by water!"
Miranda once again had to adjust her list of impossible things to witness as she stared hard through the rain slicked glass at what used to be the back yard. They could make out the shed which, as it was constructed of cinderblock, had so far survived the wind, water surrounding it to just below the door knob; or at least what would have been the door knob if the door had still been present.
Andy, mesmerized, commented distractedly; "I've always wondered what a storm surge would be like; did it come in all at once like a tidal wave or was it something different?"
Miranda noted how the water rose slowly but steadily, and absently shifted sideways, so only a small gap was left between them as their hands rested on the window sill. "I think you now have your answer."
But it wasn't just that the water had come up like a flooded river; choppy waves, the type of which were only seen out beyond the beachhead, rolled by, spray whipping up in a lather.
"So the house, we're feeling the waves and water moving it?"
"Remember the Shiavone's said it would likely occur, that the house was designed to give and sway; that it was a part of how it would survive."
"I know; it's just weird." She slid up tighter to Miranda's side and slid an arm around her waist while placing her palm against the glass. "The glass on this side is hardly moving; I guess it just happens when the wind is blowing against it."
Miranda, ever curious about her surroundings, smiled in the apparent kindred spirit found in the younger woman. "Shall we head back to the other room? I'd like to look at the radar and check the latest forecasts; the two o'clock report should be released soon."
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute; I need to make a stop first." Andy sheepishly looked down then made for the main bathroom that served the second level common areas; it had the only toilet in the house they could use now since it was a composting toilet. Once again she marveled at the forethought the owners had put into the building of the house, shuddering at how uncomfortable the situation would be if they didn't have this luxury and sparing a brief second of amusement as she imagined Miranda's reaction to the alternative. She quickly finished as the darkness in the room, despite the small electric lantern she was using, coupled with the increasingly noticeable movement of the house sent her adrenalin rushing; sparking a wave of claustrophobic near panic.
Uttering a mantra she'd used many times over the past years she pushed open the door and extinguished the lantern; hurrying back to the main room like one of the hounds of hell was at her heels.
lXlXlXl
"So the eye is aiming at Port St. Joe, that's northwest of us by…" Andy was looking at Google maps, trying to figure out where they were going to be in relation to the storm's eye. "I don't know, thirty miles?"
Miranda frowned, "Isn't the eastern side of a hurricane the worst?"
"Well considering our luck with proximity so far I'd guess that it's a yes."
"So, the eyewall in about an hour and a half or so away." Andy attempted to go back to the hurricane center site but got the standard message when there was no connection. She clicked on the internet access portal but couldn't get anything and sat back with a sigh. "The internet connection is acting up again." Over the course of the morning their built-in Wi-Fi cards had both experienced lapses; she turned the laptop off to conserve its battery.
"What about our phones?"
"I still have one service bar; at least we shouldn't have too much trouble with a lot of traffic competing for usagesince the entire area was under a mandatory evacuation. I'm going to shoot a text to my folks, it's not time for another check-in yet but I want them to know what's up. They'll send updates."
They waited long tense minutes before the chime of an incoming text let them know their message was heard. "At least that's still working."
"Oh and dad said the worst side is to the right of whichever direction it's moving. So, since it's moving north-east we may not get the absolute worst."
"Small comfort." Miranda mumbled.
Andy stood and stretched then started pacing around the space; after about five minutes of her moving from doors to windows to doors again Miranda huffed. "Are you able to sit down?"
"I can't, I hate just sitting and doing nothing. Makes me feel helpless and trapped." Andy's voice trailed off and her gaze went far away until she shook visibly before she focused on Miranda. "I'll go look out the back, maybe pace out of your sight for a while."
Miranda sat in the "quiet" of the room which seemed to be moving in a more noticeable way; between that and the howling of the wind which sounded like a muffled freight train she grew more uncomfortable and finally decided that a pacing Andy was better than sitting alone.
As she walked back she mused on her mental use of "Andy"; but came up with nothing except that it had felt right at that moment. When she crossed the threshold into the bedroom she felt a stronger vibration throughout the house and Andréa's exclamation of "Holy shit!" hastened her progress towards the window. She arrived in time to watch the shed, now with only its partially intact roof above water, disintegrate completely.
"How high is that water now?"
There was another loud crashing sound, this time sounding as though it were much closer, and then a banging and they watched as what appeared to be one of the garage doors was carried in the swiftly moving waters until it got stuck on some tree tops, twisting further under the pounding waves.
"Never mind." Miranda muttered. "I'd say it doesn't really matter." Seeing as how we've crossed into the realm of measuring the degrees of catastrophic.
"Yeah it's sorta like worrying about the number of teeth a shark has while it's munching on your…"
Miranda didn't wait for the completion of the sentence to interrupt. "Yes, yes, thank you for the metaphorical hyperbole."
Not even trying to conceal her eye-roll Andy returned to topic. "Fine; back to the garage doors; they're expendable so it's a good thing; water gets to flow right under us."
"I know! Doesn't make it better really; thinking about it, about the water surrounding us, getting closer."
Andy moved until her front was pressed up against Miranda's back and encircled her waist with her arms, holding tight. "Miranda, hey, I know, it's freaking me out too, but we are safe in here. This place is absolutely brilliant, we're going to be okay; I just know it."
Miranda turned in the embrace and searched the dark eyes for any hint of wavering, finding only conviction.
"Perhaps if we were to continue our discussion from before it would take our minds off of all this."
"Okay, but let's go back up front; I want us to keep an eye on the water height and the waves; at some point I'm thinking we might want to go upstairs."
They made their way back to the kitchen just as a massive wave crashed over the balcony sloshing with force into the patio doors. They held firm, even as some of the flotsam that had landed there earlier was slammed into the walls next to it.
Miranda gripped Andy's hand like it was a vice. "I think I'd be more comfortable upstairs." Andy wasn't about to argue so they gathered up their electronics, including the weather radio, two coolers, some food and Miranda's carry-on bag then climbed the curving staircase that led up to Andy's room.
If it were possible it was even hotter on the third floor and once they'd settled in Miranda stripped off the blanket from the bed, throwing it over a nearby chair, and plopped, in a very unladylike manner, onto the cotton sheets. At Andy's questioning look she shrugged and offered; "it'll be cooler this way."
Andy sauntered across the large room, slid onto the bed and crawled over to where Miranda had leaned back, propped by several pillows and the headboard and proceeded to playfully straddle the surprised woman. "Why Miranda, a girl might think that you were trying to get her into bed for reasons other than talk."
They were only a heartbeat away from one another when both moved in to seek a soft kiss which quickly burst into flames.
"God Miranda…" Andy drew back just long enough to capture the slightly unfocused gaze and pant out a breathless, "you, you short-circuit me."
When it appeared as though Miranda was reaching to draw her in once again Andy stilled her hand as she rolled her body over to the side, ending up sitting cross-legged against Miranda's still stretched legs.
For fear of losing her nerve Andy started speaking. "You've made an assumption about my life and it's coloring your perceptions regarding us; about what we can or maybe more accurately, what we should be."
Miranda moved forward so her arms pulled her knees closer in towards her chest and rested her chin on her knees, glittering eyes taking in every facial expression and unconscious fidget.
Andy looked down at her hands for a moment, willing them to still their nervous tapping. Aside from her parents, Lily and Doug who'd been there to help pull her through the aftermath, she'd never spoken of this to anyone not a professional, including Nate.
She looked up and strengthened her resolve, sitting up straighter. "That assumption is wrong."
Andy's lower lip began to quiver and Miranda now had an understanding that this was not going to be merely a presentation of a well-thought out argument for why they should be together; that at the core lay something deeper, something that had affected Andréa profoundly. She maintained her silence but reached out a hand and covered the one closest to her, noting that it was shaking.
Andy looked down at the fingers now entwined with hers; it had only been a little over a day and already she knew if she were not to have them to comfort her and give her strength that it would be a loss she wasn't sure she could accept.
"The first person I ever fell in love with was my best friend. Myself, Lily and Jess, short for Jessica, met in first grade and we were inseparable." She smiled at the memory. "When I was fourteen and Jess fifteen, she was one of the oldest kids in our class while I was the youngest, that's how we were in the same grade…" Andy shook her head at her digression. "…well we kind of realized that we liked each other in a way that girls liked boys."
Andy sniffled a little but continued. "It was funny, our parents were friends and they all had figured it out before we did." She looked up, eyes brimming with tears. "There wasn't any painful 'coming out' or any drama really, we liked each other and they treated us like we were boyfriend and girlfriend; which meant no sleep overs unless of course Lily was there as chaperone." She laughed; "We didn't even really do anything, at least at first, but then when Jess got her driver's license over the summer between freshman and sophomore years and we were able to go out on dates without a parent driving us; that started to change."
Andy looked far away for a moment and paused; swiping with her free hand at a tear that had escaped from the corner of her eye and sniffled again. Miranda reached over to the night stand and grabbed a tissue for her, keeping her other hand firmly wrapped around Andy's.
Andy flashed a watery smile and wiped her eyes and nose. "It was one of the best summers of my life. We went to parties and played on a summer league softball team, went to movies and drive-ins. Drive-ins were the best; her parents had gotten her this big old Caddie to drive, thought she'd be safer…" Andy practically choked when she realized what she had said and closed her eyes trying to pull herself back into her memories of the good times. "Uhm, it had this big back seat that we somehow always found ourselves in."
Andy rubbed her face and took a deep breath, continuing to talk down to her legs. "And then school started. We had nearly all the same classes together; I remember we were so happy that first day back that we weren't going to be separated. Lily and Doug pretty much had the same schedule too, except that Jess and I had last period study hall and since we were both honor students we could take early dismissal. Jess of course picked me up that morning and after our last class we headed out to the car. But it wasn't the Cadillac since there was something wrong with it, I don't remember; she had her brother's Toyota Corolla…"
Andy licked her lips and closed her eyes again; memories of that terrible afternoon still jumbled together at times. "This is harder than I thought it would be, I've never told anyone who wasn't there, except for the therapist they made me go see, but no one who I…"
The house shook again and there was a distant crashing sound; both women looked up and Andy noted that Miranda was looking about ready to investigate so tightened her grip. "Don't worry about whatever that was, it sounded like before, probably another one of the garage doors. I need to do this now or I might never do it and I want you to understand, I need you to understand why I feel the way I do."
Miranda forced her body to relax and settled back onto the bed only this time sitting cross-legged, mirroring Andy's position, their hands still connected.
Andy focused on their joined hands and continued speaking, this time in a voice so low Miranda had to lean in closer to hear. "We were pulling out of the parking lot, making a left hand turn when the entire world exploded. They told me later that it was one of those big extra-cab pickups; some contractor guy was late for a job and was talking on his cell phone, speeding through the school zone." Silent tears were now streaming down her face and she sniffled, swiping at them with the useless tissue. "Jess never saw him and the impact killed her instantly."
Andy bit the inside of her trembling lower lip as she let go of Miranda's hand and hugged herself.
"Andréa…" Miranda found she didn't have the first clue of what to say so instead reached for the box of tissues and set them in the space between them.
Andy pulled several from the box and blew her nose. "No, let me finish. The accident and Jess being killed was horrible but the worst thing for me, aside from knowing I'd never hear her laugh or hear her tell me that she loved me ever again, was that the impact pushed the entire driver's side into the center of the car; it was a standard transmission, the top part had broken off and the shaft of the gear shift ended up being shoved into my hip; between that and a broken collar bone and arm, I couldn't move." She unconsciously rubbed her left arm before wrapping herself tightly into a self-contained hug once again.
"I was conscious the whole time. The pain was unbearable but even that went away after a while, shock I guess and maybe they gave me something for the pain, I don't know, none of that is clear really."
Andy picked up her head and looked now directly at Miranda. "The only clear image I do have of all that was Jess' beautiful face, only a foot away from my own, her eyes wide open but she wasn't there any longer. It took about an hour for them to cut me out, an entire hour…" Her voice wavered and she grimaced. "…with Jess' blood all over me, and I couldn't move because they were afraid it'd nick an artery and I'd bleed out before they could get me freed."
An unsettling queasiness swept through Andy and the large room felt like it was shrinking to a quarter of its size; in a bid at combating the confined feeling she sat up straight and rolled herself off the bed, soothing herself by repetitively walking the space between the bed and the patio doors.
Miranda watched as Andy began her now familiar rhythmic movement. The pacing and the panic attack earlier now all making sense; actually a lot about her former assistant now became clearer. Her own emotions were tumbling over themselves, the trauma that Andréa experienced blending with the harrowing memories of her own and shame at making assumptions about the woman mostly due to her age.
"I am so sorry you had to go through that. No one should have to go through what you did." Miranda's face was wet with tears but she ignored them.
Andy stopped her pacing and turned towards the soft voice. "You know I didn't tell you all of that so you would feel sorry for me."
Miranda looked up at the suddenly hardened voice and cut off Andy's next words before the misunderstanding could grow roots. "No, I don't pity you. I ache for you, for that young woman who had to lose so much so quickly." She worked her throat muscles, swallowing repeatedly and clenched her jaw trying to stem the tide of emotion brought about by visualizing Andréa pinned in the wreckage, broken, having to endure so much physical hurt and emotional pain with seemingly no escape.
Andy stopped her pacing and moved back towards the bed. Miranda had once again drawn her knees up to her chest and had wrapped her arms around them, chin on her knees. Andy crawled behind her and settled her legs on either side then wrapped her arms around her waist, placing her chin on Miranda's shoulder.
Sniffling back the effects of her own tears she spoke softly. "Miranda, hey, I don't want you to cry; I just needed you to understand. It doesn't matter how old either one of us is, Jess was only sixteen and we had our entire lives before us; there's just no guarantees and neither of us know what the future will bring. What I do know is that I would rather have ten, five or hell, even one year with you than never have you in my life at all."
She buried her nose into the soft hair and nuzzled that place behind Miranda's ear that made both of them shiver.
Miranda turned into the embrace, shifting so they were nearly face to face and reached up to smooth away the tears still drying on Andy's cheeks; looking into the soft eyes so open and hopeful. There were still so many hurdles to face, so many barriers they'd have to overcome but she was now convinced they weren't as important as having this incredible woman in her life. Andréa was right, there were no guarantees and no way to know the future; did she really want to deny what they both obviously wanted so badly based upon what "could" happen? She had always found a way to make the impossible possible, they both had really, and she'd never wanted anything as much as she wanted Andréa Sachs.
Giving Andréa plenty of time to pull away if she wasn't in a place to reciprocate Miranda ceased to fight the incredible pull she'd always felt around her. When their lips were only separated by the slightest glimmer of light she finally capitulated completely to her heart's desire and whispered "If you'll have me darling I am willing to be yours."
Elation leapt into the space next to the sadness in Andy's heart and she responded by crushing their mouths together in a kiss so electric it could have powered the house. Andy rose up without losing contact and shifted so she was on her knees between Miranda's legs bringing their bodies even closer. Miranda's hands slid down her back until they reached her behind where they stopped, gripping the muscled flesh so tightly that Andy could only moan out her pleasure.
The vibration caused by Andréa's low and sensual exclamation set liquid fire through Miranda's veins and she responded enthusiastically; sparking a new round of exploration of tongues and hands. Miranda slid her hands up the well-developed rear, fingers delighting in their touch, greedily wanting more. As if they had a mind of their own the hem of Andréa's tank was pushed up and the warm hands found the sweat-soaked skin.
Miranda broke away from the kiss and hissed, "You, I want to feel you; all of you; I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin if I can't have you now."
When Miranda broke their kiss Andy wasted no time, trailing her tongue down the long neck, biting down at the skin where neck and collarbone met when Miranda's hands connected with the bare skin of her back. "God but I love the taste of your skin." She lapped at the glistening pale expanse, and put her own hands to good use, tracing the soft muscles of Miranda's abdomen and lower back.
The wetness between Andy's legs became more pronounced and the ache that was rising within robbed her of all sense even as she moved back to Miranda's mouth and proceeded to draw every last breath from her lungs.
Their bodies were fused tightly together now, with only the thin layers of sweat-soaked clothing separating them and they each rocked lightly into the other. Andy's hand had just begun to drift below the elastic waistband of both shorts and underwear when the chiming of her cell phone, barely heard above their heavy breathing and the storm that was raging even louder outside, drew them both back to their circumstances.
Miranda pulled back with a sigh and rested her forehead on Andréa's. "You make me forget about everything; I was right, you are dangerous." She smiled in a dazed but wicked manner, "But in the most delightful way."
Their lips sought one another yet again until finally they both pulled back and Andy allowed her body's center of gravity to tilt backwards, placing her flat on her back.
Miranda, never one to waste an opportunity, pushed forward and straddled the prone woman, delivering a driving kiss before backing off and grabbing the phone that lay discarded on the bed next to them.
She looked at the message and paled.
Andy noted the look and pulled the phone from fingers gone slightly slack. It was then that the winds seemed to double their efforts yet again and the house began to sway as the windows and doors that looked out onto the third floor balcony began to pulse in the most violent manner possible. The storm was turning east and the eye-wall, with its sustained winds of one hundred and sixty four miles an hour and surge tide of over sixteen feet, was nearly upon them.
