HEY SOMETHING WENT WRONG WHEN I ORIGINALLY UPLOADED THE CHAPTER. I'M RE-UPLOADING SO PLEASE PM ME IF ITS STILL NOT WORKING

Im Sorry! I know this took longer then i wanted, holidays were such a pain i was uber busy. Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and as always ENJOY :D

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

Chapter 9

I go to lunch every day. And oddly enough, so do Thom and Bristel. If I thought I got odd looks in the Hob, I can't imagine the looks they get from the Seam and Town alike. But to the everlasting credit of Peeta and his friends, they don't seem to pay any attention to the stares we all receive. Emma and Bristel find they have more in common then they realized, and Thom tells so many hilarious stories and witty one-liners, I have to stop myself from calling him Thresh multiple times a day.

Every day that passes I see more of Jude. First he started showing up in the morning before school with Peeta, then he would stop by on his way home.

"I just want to see how you are doing," was his reply when I finally asked him about his unexpected visits. "Do you mind?"

"No," I answered too quickly, my cheeks turning pink as he smiled at me. "I don't mind at all."

Summer is almost over when Peeta offhandedly blurts out that my birthday is fast approaching. I scowl at him as Emma excitingly questions me when it is, what I want, and what's my favorite type of cake.

"August 23 and white cake with strawberry filling," Peeta answers her, winking at me as my scowl deepens. "She usually loves her birthdays but something tells me that this year she's not going to be so chipper about the celebration."

"There's nothing to celebrate Peeta," I tell him, my voice coming out not nearly as strong as I intended it to.

Birthdays are something of a controversy in the district. Some people celebrate because they figure they are one year closer to being safe from the Reaping. Others look at it as another slip in the bowl, and some see it as another year closer to being forced down into the mines.

My family has always chosen to view my birthday as I reason to celebrate, a time to breathe a sigh of relief that it is almost over. But I was already reaped, already forced to play a twisted game for the amusement of the wicked. There's no reason to celebrate now.

"You're alive," Thom says matter of factly. "That in itself should be a reason to party."

Bristel rolls her eyes at her boyfriend, "You would find any reason to party."

"Please no party," I stare directly at Peeta, trying to make myself look as menacing as possible. "I mean it."

He nods, making a big show of crossing his heart. "Alright, alright, Madgie. No party."

My scowl returns to my face as he grins at me from across the table.

You're such a liar, Peeta Mellark.

"There's no party, Madge!" Jude proclaims, throwing his hands in the air. "You asked for us not to throw you one, so we are respecting your wishes."

I snort at him, picking through the apples lying on the cart in front of me. "Mhmm, sure. You forget I know Peeta like the back of my hand, and I can tell with absolute certainty when he is lying. And you aren't so hard to read either."

I pick up an apple in my hand, turning it over to look at its shiny skin. "How do you tell if an apple's ripe anyway?"

Jude sighs dramatically, taking the apple out of my hand. "It should be firm with no bruising. This one is too squishy; it's probably already going bad." He puts it back on the cart as he begins to look through the pile for fresher ones. "Honestly, I can't believe I'm spending my free Saturday running errands at the grocer's. You know, this is the first Saturday that I don't have to work in years."

I narrow my eyes at him, and he sighs again. "Fine, maybe not years but still!"

I laugh, shaking my head at him. "Well, you don't have to spend it with me running errands. Why don't you go see what Peeta and Grayson are up to?"

"They're working," he replies a little too fast.

I raise an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Oh? What about Thom?"

"He has to, uh, help his mother today."

"With?"

"Laundry."

A smile appears on my face as I begin to see Jude shift from foot to foot.

Gotcha.

"I didn't know laundry was an all-day event," I comment innocently. He doesn't respond, his whole attention seemingly completely focused on the apples. I continue, "And Emma and Bristel?"

He groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his hand. "I don't know, brushing each other's hair!"

A laugh escapes my lips and he turns around to glare at me. "Out of all the ones to distract me today I can't believe they sent you." I shake my finger at him in mock disapproval, unable to keep the grin off my face at figuring out what they're planning. "You might just be the worst person under pressure I've ever seen."

"I know," he sighs again, racking his hand through his curls. "Why do you seem so happy about it? I thought you didn't want a party."

"I don't. Well, I didn't. I guess it's just nice to know that you all care about me this much is all," I finish, fiddling my hands as I look down at my shoes. "And I guess Thom is right, being alive is as much a reason to party as any. You invited my father didn't you?"

His normal smile returns to his face as he nods. "Yes, and Darius and Nora. Oh and Peeta's brothers too." He tries to make his face more serious, but I can still see his warm smile in his eyes as he tells me, "Just at least pretend to be surprised."

I grin up at him, about to reply when I hear a small voice from behind me. "Madge?"

I turn just in time to see Rory wrap his arms around my waist, hugging me tight. "I haven't seen you in forever!" he exclaims.

I have to hold in a laugh; I waved to him not three days ago. Still I return his embrace, ruffling his hair as I pull away.

"You here by yourself?" I ask him.

Before he can answer though, I hear a voice calling out his name.

"Here, Ma!" Rory cries out, waving his arm in the air so his mother can see him.

My body stiffens as I see her come into view, Vick and Posy in tow. She smiles politely when she sees me. "Madge, how are you dear?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Mrs. Hawthorne. I, um, mean Hazelle. How are you?"

Her smile grows into a sincere one, and she's about to reply when Vick blurts out, "Who are you?"

It takes me a second to realize he's addressing Jude who's still standing next to me. Hazelle's turns her gaze onto him, and her motherly smile is instantly replaced with a cold look. She pulls Vick and Posy closer to her, too quickly for it to even appear subtle. "Vick, that wasn't very polite," she reprimands her son, but her eyes are still locked on Jude's face. "I apologize. He's usually very good with his manners."

Jude smiles tightly at her, and I'm startled to see how much this fake smile differs from his usual one. "No need to apologize, Mrs. Hawthorne."

"So Madge," Rory says quickly, unfazed by the discomfort in the room, "When's your birthday?"

"What?" I ask, surprised by his question.

"Your birthday? Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I just overheard you guys talking about a party, and I want to get you something for your birthday."

His ears are turning red as he smiles shyly at me, and I can't help but smile sweetly back at him. "It's tomorrow actually. And you're more than welcome to come to the party if you want."

Rory's face lights up as he beams at me, "Really?"

I feel my body run cold as I realize what I've just done, but I nod my head nonetheless. "Yes, of course."

Rory grins as he hugs me once more, and it becomes easier to fight down my panic as I look down at his cheerful face.

My eyes flicker up to see Hazelle looking past me and Rory, her eyes boring into Jude's. Her hands visibly tighten around her younger children's hands. She clears her throat loudly as she says, "Well, we have everything we need from here, Rory. It's time to go. It was nice to see you, Madge. You too, Mr. Keres."

Jude's face hardens at the use of his surname, and I instinctively grab his hand firmly in my own. He looks down at me, visibly startled but at least his expression warms up once more.

I politely bid them goodbye, watching as their figures retreat down the square.

Once they are completely out of sight, Jude turns to me with narrow eyes.

"What?" I ask, knocking my shoulder into his.

"You invited people to a party you're not supposed to know about! You're even worse about keeping this party a secret than I am."

I laugh loudly, and he just rolls his eyes, his regular warm smile back on his face.

We finish shopping rather quickly; Jude helps me pick up the rest of the miscellaneous grocery items I'm in need of. He walks me halfway home before remembering that he promised his sister he would help her with her school project this afternoon. He apologizes profusely, not letting me get a word in edge-wise as he hands me the two bags he was carrying, telling me that he will come over tomorrow morning for me before he races back to Town.

I hum quietly as I walk home, surprisingly excited about the idea of a surprise party. I usually only have a nice family dinner for my birthdays, but it feels unexpectingly nice to have people that want to celebrate it with me who are not obligated to love me out of blood.

I'm almost to the front gate when I see Gale, sitting on his front porch. I bite my lip as I watch him for a moment. He looks quite frustrated.

Against my better judgment, I call out to him, "Waiting for something?"

His eyes flash to mine, and he smirks slightly as he shakes his head. "Sort of. I locked myself outside, and my mom has the key."

"Why don't you just break in?"

"All the windows are closed, and if I break one, Ma is likely to break me."

I have to stifle a laugh at that one. "Well she should be home soon; I saw her leave the grocer a while ago."

He puts his head down in the form of a nod, and I take that as my cue to leave. But something keeps me standing there at the edge of my gate, and, before I can think, I blurt out, "I'm having a party."

He looks over at me, and I can feel my cheeks begin to burn as I force myself to hold eye contact. "It's for my birthday; my friends are throwing me a party. A surprise party, so technically I'm not supposed to know about it. But, um, I ran into Rory today, and I invited him. To the party. And well, yeah, I mean you're more than welcome to come too. To the party."

My whole face feels like it's on fire as Gale looks away from me. "I didn't know it was your birthday. I didn't get you anything."

"You don't need to get me anything."

His eyes turn towards me again, and he nods once, "Okay, maybe. What time?"

Maybe that was not the answer I was looking for but I take it anyway, gripping my bags tighter as I answer him. "I don't know really. I'm supposed to be out all day with my friend while they set it up here."

"So if I see a bunch of people rummaging in your house, I shouldn't call the Peacekeepers?"

I smile at the joke; he so rarely tells jokes with me anymore. "Oh no, by all means, call the Peacekeepers. It might teach them not to throw a party for someone who specifically told them not to."

"Will do," he replies, an actual smile on his face.

I grin back at him, unable to control my excitement for getting him to smile. I mumble a goodbye to him, racing inside my house to avoid him seeing me like a grinning fool.

"We've been gone for hours! Is it time to go back yet?" I ask Jude for the hundredth time.

He narrows his eyes at me. "No, I told them we'd be back at five. It's barely one now."

I let out a huff, crossing my arms in annoyance. Jude forced me out of my house at ten o'clock, hardly giving me enough time to brush my teeth.

"What about this dress?" he asks, holding up a tiny little piece of fabric that would give my father a heart attack if I wore it outside.

Dress shopping was not the way I originally planned to spend my birthday, but, since my father and Darius are very busy this morning and everyone else is at my house setting up the party, dress shopping with Jude it is.

"I don't see why we're doing this. I have plenty of dresses at home," I grumble to him.

He gestures to the old and stained sundress that I am currently wearing. "You could have fooled me."

"I didn't have time to find something better to wear! Because someone was pushing me out of the house if you don't recall."

"Yeah, that sounds like my son alright. Always so impatient." I turn to see Jude's mother smiling gently from behind the counter. "Happy birthday by the way, Madge."

"Thank you, Ms. Lawrence."

This is not the first time I've met Jude's mother, having been coming into her family store to buy my clothes for years. She's very beautiful, with her petite figure, platinum blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. Jude is nearly the complete opposite of his mother as far as looks go, with his green eyes, wavy ash-brown hair, muscular figure-not to mention the fact that he towers over her by at least half a foot. But as far as personalities go, they seem to be very similar.

"Hey Mom, you think we have anything in the back that Miss Birthday Girl will find suitable for her big shindig?"

She nods, rising up off her stool as she says, "Yes, I think I have just the dress. You kids wait here."

I smile as I watch Jude's mother go into the back room, "Your mom's really nice. All this time I had no idea…"

No idea that she was married to a monster, no idea that she had two children with him, no idea that she was your mother.

"Found it!" She comes back with a plain very light blue dress, with thick straps and a modest neckline. "It's your size too!" She pulls me into the small section of the store where a long thick black curtain hangs, allowing the customer some privacy. "Go on, try it on. We'll wait here."

The dress goes on over my head and I tug it down the rest of the way. The pleated skirt falls just above my knee, and the fabric is smooth and soft under my skin. It's a lovely dress, simple and not so fancy that I would feel like a fool to wear it walking around in the daytime.

I bite my lip as I pull the curtain away, suddenly shy and unsure as I stand before Jude and his mother. "What do you think?"

Neither says anything for a moment, and, just as my cheeks begin to burn and I resolve never to show my face to either ever again, Jude softly says, "You're beautiful."

My face feels even hotter at his comment, and my eyes flutter briefly to look into his utterly green eyes before they settle back again on the ground.

"Thank you," I say, my voice so soft I doubt he hears it.

Ms. Lawrence makes quick work of ringing me up. The dress turns out to be much less than what I expected. Since it needs no alterations, I am free to wear it out of the shop, but she still gives me a small paper bag to place my old dress in.

"It truly looks exquisite on you, Madge. Have a great day you two." She winks at us, and I see Jude blush an alluring shade of pink. Why does it look adorable when he blushes, but I only manage to look even more awkward then I feel?

"So, where you want to go next?" He asks me as we leave his family's shop.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. Where do want to go?"

"It's your birthday!"

I laugh at his outburst, and he shakes his head at me, placing his arm naturally around my shoulders. "We could go the meadow, or window shop at the jeweler's… or we could go see if your father is free?"

"He won't be," I tell him, "Whenever he leaves for the office early, he's stacked high with paperwork all day."

"Okay." His face scrunches up as he concentrates and I have to stop myself from reaching up and smoothing over the wrinkles in his forehead.

I've been spending way too much time with him, I reprimand myself, his stupid gorgeous eyes are starting to get to me.

"Oh!" His entire face lights up as he looks down at me, clearly pleased with himself. "We should go visit your mother."

My body tenses up, and I instinctively move slightly away from him. "You want to go visit my mother?"

"Sure, why not? Peeta says she's awfully funny."

That's because Peeta knew her before she got awfully sick.

"I don't know. She might not be…feeling too well today."

The whole district knows my mother is sick, although the tales of why the mayor's wife always seems to be in bed differs. I've heard some nasty rumors varying from she died years ago and my father covered it up to he beats us both senseless.

That last one was the first time I had ever openly denounced a rumor about my family, having pulled the girl by her backpack, sticking out my bare arm and telling her to show me the bruises my father had supposedly inflicted.

Still I've never actually brought any friends over to my house, except for Peeta when we were little. Nora and my mother both always questioned me about my social life, wondering why I always seemed to be up in my room alone on Saturday nights. Perhaps it would be nice to finally have a friend to introduce my mother to, especially since I know she won't be able to make it to my party tonight.

"Alright," I say, looking back up at Jude. "But just know that the things you've heard about her… they're not all true."

"I would never believe any of those things, you know that, Madge."

"I know. But they aren't all wrong either."

I know my mother is dying. She's been dying since I was a young girl, and, while the medicine helps ease the pain away momentarily, nothing will give me back the mother I once had. And the last thing I need is for my mother to look into the face of a friend that she's always wanted her daughter to have and find shock, or panic, or pity. There are worse things than dying.

We walk quietly to my hold house, his arm back around my shoulders. What will Nora think when she sees me with a boy's arm around me. Oh, the teasing will be never ending!

I only have to knock once before Nora appears at the door, her expression a mix of surprise and confusion. And then, as she looks at how close Jude has me to him, I see her eyes twinkle in amusement. Oh, here it comes.

"If it isn't the birthday girl herself! Happy birthday, dear."

She opens her arms out, and I allow her to pull me into an embrace. Just as I'm to thank her, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, "Got yourself quite the looker, Madge."

Before I can react, she releases me, moving onto to Jude. "You're Lawrence's boy, aren't you?"

He nods once, and she smiles widely. "Thought so; you're the spitting image of your grandfather, got his hair color too. Although I bet you got your eyes from your father's side?"

Jude eyes widen at the nonchalant mention of his father, but Nora is already moving on, gesturing for us to come in.

"Madge?" My head shoots up to the dining room table where my mother sits, half a muffin sitting in front of her. Her too thin face stretches into a smile, and she stands wobbly to her feet. "Happy birthday, darling."

I nearly gawk as I gently embrace her. I hardly let myself hope she was conscious today, and yet here she is wishing me a happy birthday. She hardly ever knows the date unless its Reaping day. And I'm positive that's only because she can feel the tension in the house.

"How are you doing, Mom?" I ask her, still not quite believing she is actually standing sturdily on her own.

"I'm fine," she replies, however her eyes are looking elsewhere.

I look over to find her eyes locked on Jude. I clear my throat, readying myself to apologize for my rudeness and introduce them, when my mother begins to slowly walk towards him. "I know you," she claims, her face full of confusion.

Jude swallows thickly, clearly confused by her claim. "I don't think we've ever met Mrs. Undersee, my name is-"

"You're his son. Aren't you?"

Jude's entire face falls, and I quickly step in before this can go any further. "Mother, this is Jude. He is a friend of mine."

This seems to take her by surprise, and she turns back to me. "One of your friends?" She looks back at him, studying him for a moment before a smile returns to her face. "One of my daughter's friends. It's so nice to finally met one. She never brings anyone around."

Her brow scrunches together for a brief second before she strongly declares, "You're good. I can tell. Nothing like your father. Your eyes are much kinder." She lowers her voice slightly, as if telling a secret. "You've got some fire in you too, though. Different fire, the good kind, the kind my husband has. Madge too."

"T-thank you, Mrs. Undersee." Jude says uncertainly.

My mother nods once before gesturing for me to come over to her. "So where did you two met?"

The questions continue to come after that, my mother wanting to know every little detail. I've already told her on my previous visits about Peeta and the lunch group; I even told her about saving Bristel and meeting Thom, but she seems very interested in Jude. She asks what his favorite food is, what he likes about school, his grandparents, his mother and sister.

"My sister was born prematurely," he tells her, "they didn't think she would live. But she did, just barely. She's always been prone to illness though, and she has a hard time running or playing outside for a long time. And the coal dust irritates her lungs very badly, sometimes to the point where she can't breathe."

He pauses, and when he begins again his voice is lighter, "She's a fighter. though. Most would think her being sick would make her soft and delicate. but I've never met anyone with as much fight in them as her. She's thick headed and stubborn, and boy can she be a pain, but I wouldn't trade her in for all the riches in the Capitol."

My mother smiles at his description of his sister. "That's the thing about us sick people. We've learned the only way to survive is to fight. And then people wonder why we never back down from an argument."

They both laugh at that, making me gaze in wonder as my mother laughs like I haven't heard her laugh in years.

We stay for lunch, and I try my best to help Nora in the kitchen as Jude and my mother continue talking at the dining table.

"They're sure hitting it off." Nora nudges me, her voice full of tease.

I shrug, trying to seem uninterested. "I suppose."

Nora whacks me lightly with a wooden spoon. "Oh goodness, you are the worst liar, Madge. Now go on, you shouldn't have to help cook on your own birthday. Go back to your gentleman caller and your mother."

"He's not my gentlemen caller," I object, trying to keep my face down to hide my blushing face. The mere thought of someone romantically interested me gives me an odd feeling.

"Lies, lies, lies! I ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

I hold back a giggle as I race out of the kitchen, before she can whack me again.

After lunch is finished, Jude offers to help Nora with the dishes, and I am left alone with my mother. She follows me over to the piano bench, smiling as she takes one of my hand in hers. "He's lovely, Madge, a real rare one. I don't know why I didn't see it before, back when you were annoyed with him all the time."

"I wasn't annoyed all the time."

"Oh, but you were! That's how it all starts though. Do you think I liked your father when I first met him? No siree, I thought he was the most pompous buffoon I've ever met. But then I got to know him, and I realized how wrong I was. It's how all love stories start."

I can feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as I shake my head. "No, Mom, it's not like that with us. We're just friends."

"Oh please, I can see the way you look at him. And how he looks at you."

Does he look at me? Do I even look at him?

"No, Mom, really, we're just friends. I mean, of course I find him attractive, but there's nothing there." She raises her eyebrow at me, and I find myself wishing the world would split apart and swallow my whole.

"I'm not trying to push you towards him, Madge. I'm just saying, you're a young and beautiful girl. You shouldn't have to waste your time waiting for someone who does not deserve you."

Gale.

My mother and I have never been the type to discuss crushed on boys, but obviously she saw what went on during the Games. She knows I got hurt. And she wants me to be happy.

Is it even possible for me to be happy with someone else right now? Would it even be fair to them, considering everything that's going on with me and Gale?

Luckily Jude and Nora return just in time to save me from any more awful words of wisdom from my mother.

"You going to play something?" Jude asks, sitting down on the carpet next to the piano.

"Oh, sure. What do you want to hear?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "Something sweet. Something to listen to if you were watching the stars."

I bite my lip, searching my brain for the right tune. There's nothing I can remember, no sheet music permanently etched in my brain that fits that description. Something to listen to while watching the stars.

My fingers begin to fall lightly on the keys, a melody beginning to form in my head. It starts off slow and the nights are low. Then the tempo begins to slowly rise, the notes becoming louder and faster. The music in my head translates perfectly to my fingers; it builds higher and higher, until finally the last note is played.

"Wow." Jude's mouth is slightly agape as he looks at me in amazement. "You just thought that up didn't you?"

I nod, feeling embarrassed at his gaze that lingers on me for too long. "My father plays better than me. I'll ask him to play at the party, and then you'll really see talent."

"The party? I thought that was supposed to be a surprise?" My mother questions.

I bite my lip, trying to look sheepish and failing pretty miserably. "Opps?"

We leave promptly at half an hour till five, hugging Nora and my mother goodbye.

Nora promises to head over the celebration as soon as she's done with everything here. Meaning, right after she gives my mother her night dose of morphling. I want to ask her to come to the party too; she hasn't had a day like this in a while. But even now I can see the exhaustion in her eyes, how it takes her much more effort to stay upright than it did earlier.

"I wish I could come to your party dear," she tells me, hugging me tightly. "But I hope you have a wonderful night nonetheless. You should bring your friends over here one day. Especially that one, I expect to see much more of him."

The walk back to Victors Village is not so much a walk as it is a jog, with Jude leading the way.

"It's fine," I tell him as he begins to rant on how Peeta will kill him if we're late. "The party doesn't start till I'm there anyways right? I can't be late for my birthday party."

If he hears my rebuttal, he pays no attention to it, grumbling about how he should have let Emma entertain me for the day.

"On the bright side, my mother seems to love you," I say, trying to get his mind off of us running late.

That seems to do the trick because he chuckles heartily, "Yeah, she's a great lady. I see where you get it from."

"Thank you, by the way."

"For?"

"For not…pitying us. It's awful, to see people looking at her with pity, for acting like she's already on her deathbed."

He slows down his pace, turning his head to look at me. "I would never treat anyone like that."

I smile up at him, "I know. Thank you."

He nods, "I'm just relieved we didn't have another Hawthorne incident."

"Hawthorne incident?"

"Yeah, like when we ran into them yesterday. The way Mrs. Hawthorne acted towards me, how she called me my father's name. I get that a lot from the older Seam folk. I expected Nora to be like that too. And then with your mother… she thought I was my father for a second didn't she?"

I reluctantly nod. "Yes. It happens sometimes: she gets people confused."

"Well, at least that didn't put a damper on the afternoon."

I laugh in agreement as we reach the Victors' Village. "Now, remember to pretend to be surprised," he tells me as he opens the gate.

"I will I will," I reply, my stomach suddenly filled with butterflies.

I make a point of rattling the door knob, of slowly opening the front door. And I don't have to pretend to be surprised at the sight before me.

Peeta and Emma are visibly arguing with Emma waving around her pointed finger in the air, Bristel has one foot on a chair as she attempts to tape down a yellow streamer, and Thom and Grayson are red faced and out of breath, surrounded by a pile of multi-color balloons.

With all the commotion they appear to have not heard me come in until Jude loudly clears his throat. Everyone's head quickly looks up to see us standing in the doorway.

"Dude, what are you doing here!" Bristel cries out, nearly losing her balance at the sight of us.

"You said five!" Jude yells back.

"No, we said six! We thought we still had a whole hour."

Then everyone starts in, yelling and crying out. Only Peeta continues to stare at us before he bends over, erupting in a fit of laughter. The yelling ceases as we look over at him.

"He's finally lost it," Grayson jokes, with a smirk on his face.

"Surprise!" Emma shouts out half-enthusiastically.

"Happy birthday, Madgie," Peeta pants out, clearly trying to force himself from starting laughing again.

"Thanks," I giggle, a massive grin on my face as I take in all the half down decorations. "What were you two bickering about?"

"The sugar cookies: Grayson's idea to commemorate our first lunch with you," Emma informs me.

Thom throws a balloon up in the air, catching it before it hits the ground. "Thank goodness we hadn't met you yet. We survived the infamous salt-sugar cookies fiasco unscathed."

Emma grabs the balloon before he can, throwing it over to Bristel. "Anyways, I have this great old family recipe for sugar cookies, except Mr. Control Freak over there kept telling me the portions were wrong."

"Because they were!" Peeta retorts. "And it's not being controlling, its having worked in a bakery for my entire life. I know what sugar cookie batter is supposed to look like, and it's not wet cement."

Emma narrows her eyes at him before continuing. "So I baked the cookies, and they turned out-"

"Like bricks," Peeta cuts her off.

"-unexpected. So we were just going to make another batch, but Mr. Control Freak-"

"Mr. Has-Worked-In-A-Bakery-His-Whole-Life."

"-is insisting that he just use his family recipe instead of just giving mine another chance. Which is when you two walked in-"

"An hour early!" Bristel injects.

Emma groans loudly, "Can I please finish a sentence without being interrupted!? So as I was saying-"

"Interruption!" Grayson yells out loudly, throwing a balloon at his girlfriend's head. Emma's eyes go wide, and Grayson's face pales. "Oh no, Em, I was just kidding. Em, don't!"

But she doesn't listen instead running full force after him, jumping over the sofa to get to him as he takes off running.

"Guys! Didn't your mothers ever tell you not to run indoors!" Jude cries out after them.

"No!" They both shout together.

I crack up in laughter at their antics, so much that I think my side will begin to hurt if I don't stop. "Okay, okay, well, I have a great recipe for cookies, so I'll just make them."

I go into the kitchen, reaching high into one of the cupboard for the recipe card.

I find it, quickly reading off the ingredients. "Alright, Jude, can you hand me that flour please. And I'm going to need-"

"No way, Madgie, you can't cook on your birthday." Peeta says, getting in the way of me and the mixing bowl.

"Peeta, it's fine." I tell him, trying to get around him.

"Nope, no way. Peeta's right on this one," Thom proclaims, snatching the recipe away from me.

He holds the card high above his head ,and I stand on my tiptoes, trying my hardest to reach it. "Thom, come on!" He holds it up high, and I jump trying to snatch it back. "Just. Give. Me. The. Card."

I jump as high as I can, barely reaching his wrist as both elbows swing back on the way down, knocking the flour out of Jude's hands from behind me, the bag bursting all over Thom.

I jump back in horror as Thom's entire lower body, as well as most of the floor, is covered in flour. "Thom, I'm so sorry."

His mouth is hanging open as he grabs the still mostly-full flour bag from off the floor. As a devilish grin spreads across his face, I shake my head in fear.

"Oh no, you're not. But you will be soon."

I duck just in time for the handful of flour to fly right past me, landing flat on Jude's face.

Bristel erupts in a fit of laughter, and Jude's eyes narrow at her. "You want some of this, Bris?"

In a flash, flour is being thrown everywhere, in hair and faces and clothes.

Emma tries to run, but Grayson grabs her by her waist just in time to smear flour all over her back. Peeta grapples with Thom over the flour bag, efficiently covering both of them with flour. Jude's the one that gets me the worst, putting fistfuls in my hair as I try to cram some down his shirt.

Perhaps the screeching and screaming mixed in with the hysterical laughter was too loud to hear over. Or maybe fate just loves to give me an awful hand. Either way when I do finally glimpse the Hawthorne boys standing frozen in my doorway, I know that the night is all going downhill from here.

It's as if everyone can tell that the fun in the room has been evaporated, or maybe they all just see them the exact moment I do. Rory looks perplexed, yet I can see from here the amusement in his face. There is nothing close to that in his brother's, however.

Gale stares at his in disgust, his eyes dark and his nostrils flaring like they do when he's about to explode. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I blink, not expecting that to be what he asked. But as I follow his gaze to where Thom and Bristel stand, it suddenly hits me like a brick. I never told him. I never explained what happened. I invited him to my birthday and completely forgot that two of its guest is people I'm not even supposed to talk to.

"We're here because we were invited," Thom answers, his voice matching Gale's strength.

That seems not to be the answer Gale wanted because he immediately turns his glare into me. "You think this is funny? Inviting Seam kids over to your stupid party and then throwing your wealth in their face?"

My throat feels tight as I shake my head at his accusations. "I would never do that Gale."

You know I would never do that.

"Then what do you call this!" he shouts, gesturing around at all the flour tossed about the room. "Do you have any idea how long this much flour could feed our families? Do you even care?! Or are you just too stupid to realize?"

"Hey!" Peeta, Jude, Grayson, and Thom all exclaim at once.

Gale seems taken back for a moment at my friend's defense of me, but his anger is not gone for long. "What the hell do you think you guys are doing here? Was this some kind of joke?"

"Believe it or not, Gale, not everything revolves around you," Bristel tells him, lifting her flour- coated face up high. "We are here because we are Madge's friends."

"Friends?! The only reason she would even invite people like us is for charity!"

"You know that's not true, Ga-" Rory cries out but Gale is not done ranting.

"How can you call yourselves her friends when you don't even know each other! You have no idea who she really is."

The way he says that, the way his face contorts as if it's a direct insult to me, hurts me in a way I didn't think possible.

"And who is that exactly, Gale?" My voice rings out stronger and clearer than I expected as I step out in front of my friends, who have instinctively made a barrier between the two of us. "Who am I really? Am I a ruthless killer, am I the girl who killed a boy without even flinching? Am I the one who blew kisses to idiotic Capital citizens?"

He's staring at me now, and as his licks his lips I know that I've made him uncomfortable, made my point across. But still I can't stop myself from asking, "Am I the one who hoped for the death of our friend at the hands of a psychopathic boy so that we wouldn't have to kill him ourselves? Am I Madge Undersee, the Tribute of District 12, Madge Undersee the Victor of the 74th Hunger Games? Who exactly is this real me you are referring to?"

The room falls completely silent as I wait for him to answer, wait from him to apologize. But he doesn't. I shake my head my teeth biting into my lip to stop myself from crying. "The truth is you don't know who I am either."

His face falls back into his trademark scowl as he takes a step closer to me, "Madge-"

"Get out."

"Look Madge-"

"Get out, Gale!"

His hands ball into fists as he glares down at me. I refuse to look away first, matching his glare with one of my own until he quickly turns around, yanking Rory out with him.

My whole body sags as I watch him leave, tears quickly pooling in my eyes. I can feel everyone watching me, wanting to comfort me and tell me it'll be alright so before they can I turn, running past them all to the back door.

My back yard is not as large and open as the one I had back home, instead of green grass there is a large back deck. I run to the very edge of the porch, gripping the handrail tightly as I try to get my bearings.

You stupid, idiotic girl. How could you do that to yourself? You knew that would happen if he came here. I yell at myself, the tears falling freely now.

I feel someone come up behind me and I quickly wipe the tears off my cheeks, "I'm f-fine, Peeta. Go back inside. I'll go in a second."

"I'm not Peeta."

I suck in a sharp breath, wiping my eyes with more fervor now. "What do you want, Jude?"

He doesn't answer right away, instead he comes from behind me to stand next to me, his eyes on my face. "I want to see if you're okay."

My head dips down, almost a nod but not quite. "I'm fine," I repeat.

The lie hangs in the air, both of us knowing its untrue yet neither one addressing it. My throat feels tight, and I try my hardest to choke down a sob. "I'm such a fool."

"No," he says, vehemently shaking his head. "No, Madge, you're no fool."

"But I am!" I yelp, tears streaming once again. "Oh, I am. Everyone saw through the act, and yet I was played like a fiddle. Everyone saw through it. You did, didn't you?"

He doesn't answer, but the look on his face is all the confirmation I need. "I'm a fool."

"No, you're not. Yes, I saw it was an act, but not because it was obvious. It's because I saw the signs. Because you are not a fool, you were just a trusting person who ended up being used by someone you care for."

As much as I want to, I don't believe him, and I know he can read my disbelief in my face. Jude looks away from me, his eyes staring intently at his hands as he grasps the railing beside me. "Peeta, let me come after you, told me I ought to be the one to talk to you."

His statement confuses me; Peeta has always been the first one to want to comfort me, why would he send Jude instead? "Why?"

Yet again he lets my question dangle in the silence, his low breathing the only answer he gives. Just when I'm certain his strategy to get me to go back to the party is utter and complete silence, he looks up at the sky, his words coming out slow and unsure. "I told you once that we had more in common than you thought, more in common than just our background."

He stops, as if waiting for my response. "Um yeah, I remember."

His eyes close, his head still tilted upward towards the stars. I can see his knuckles tightening on the railing and how his jaw tightens. "Her name was Rosemary. Pretty, smart, a year my senior. Her mother was older than mine by a few years, but they were still childhood friends and when my father died, we have dinner with one another every Friday. They were from the Seam, and from the moment I met her, she was short with me. Sometimes to the point of being rude. There were times I hated her, times I would pretend to be sick to get out of going to dinner."

His eyes reopen, but they don't look down at me, instead staying fixed on the sky above us. "Then the dinners stopped. There was a big fight between our mothers, I forget what about. It doesn't matter; I didn't speak to her anymore, and then the oddest thing happened. I started to miss her. I missed the quick remarks and how she never seemed back down from an argument. My eyes started to follow her when I saw her in class, my ears would perk up when I heard her name. It wasn't like how it was with Peeta, or even you. It wasn't one event that stuck in my head. It was everything about her, how she always knew all the answers in math, how she chewed on her pencil when she got really stumped, how kind she was to her two little brothers."

"I was fifteen when I worked up the nerve to ask her to some school dance, you know one of those dumb ones they do at the start of every season. It was the first time I had talked to her more than to ask her for a pen in years, but she said yes. She even smiled. She wore some hand-me-down red dress with a button missing off the top, but she was beautiful. She kissed me that night, right in front of the steps of the school."

An odd feeling takes over me as I watch him tell his story, watching closely as he continues to stare into the night. It's something almost akin to anticipation, or even fear. This is not going to be a happy story.

"We didn't hang out in public after that," he continues, "she said if her mother found out by any of the Seam kids that she was seeing me that she'd be dead where she stood. But we met in secret every morning right at dawn by the mine entrance. It was an awful hassle, sneaking out so early every day to only see her for a few minutes but it was worth it in my mind."

"She never really wanted to talk," he lets out a laugh, a twisted self-loathing type of laugh, "which of course I was fine with. I don't know how many times asked her why the mine entrance, where we could be seen by every miner coming into work, but not the lunchroom. She never answered me, she'd always wave away my questions by pressing her lips to mine. Then a few weeks into our little arrangement, I come out of wrestling practice to see her waiting for me. Before I could even ask her what's wrong, she tells me she's breaking it off, doesn't want to see me anymore. She tried to leave then, but I begged her for an explanation, promised her I could change into whatever she wanted. Finally after letting me beg and plead, she looked up from the ground and tells me she's pregnant."

I gasp, my hand flying to cover my mouth, "Oh, Jude, you didn't..."

He shakes his head slowly. "No actually, I did not. All we ever did was kiss. But I didn't stop me from immediately telling her I was in. I promised her that she wouldn't have to do it alone, that I could be a father. But that's not what she had in mind."

He inhales deeply, as if trying to calm himself down. "She told me that the baby already had a father. That he wanted to marry her. That he loved her and she loved him. They were sweethearts, but he broke it off with her when he went into the mines, not wanting her to worry everyday if he would live or die. So she decided to show him that exactly what losing her forever would look like by sticking her tongue down my throat every morning as he went to work. It worked too, obviously. Jealousy can be a very powerful thing."

I bite my lip, feeling my heart break from him. "They got married, like she said. It was a girl, the baby. I see them every now and then around town. She's pregnant again, she used to look at me with pity and a little bit of regret. But now her eyes skim over me as if it never happened at all."

I search my head for something to say, anything to comfort him. But I'm left with the most useless words anyone can offer, "I'm so sorry, Jude."

He shrugs, looking back down at me. "It was a long time ago. And it made me into the person I am today. At least I had the closure I deserved, unlike Peeta."

"Or me," I point out. "I think that's the hardest, the little spark of hope in the back of your mind."

He nods in agreement, looking back out over the yard. "That's why I'm glad I forced an answer out of Rosemary. If not, I don't think I would have been able to move on."

"But didn't it hurt? Having all your hope crushed?"

"More than you can imagine. But I know that's what I needed, to know that she never wanted me, and never wants me. It hurt, but it was a necessary pain. Besides-" his eyes wonder back to mine, his straight smile back in place. "I think everyone should get their heartbroken at least once in their lifetime. It makes you appreciate everything you do have, makes you realize how strong the human spirit really is. It makes you have to pick yourself over, dust yourself off, pick up heart, maybe polish it up a bit, fix the cracks and dents and offer it up again. Because it not, then what is the point of all this?"

The wind blows my hair into my face, and I tuck a bit of it behind my ear, shaking my head at him. "But how? How can you offer it again if you know how much it hurts when it breaks?

"Because it never actually breaks, Madge. Sure it might get stepped on, thrown against the wall a few times, but, one day, there'll be someone who will hold it near and dear… someone who will cherish it and love it. And that's worth it."

Somehow during his speech we've gotten closer together. Maybe I stepped nearer to him, maybe he's the one who took the step, but now he's so close.

So close that I can smell the toothpaste he used, I can see the flecks of flour still caked on his cheek, how his eyes sparkle when the moonlight hits it. He doesn't come any closer though, not shoving himself on me, not forcing me or making this decision for me. He leaves it up to me.

I could lean away. Take a step back and tell him we should go back inside. And we would. We would go back inside, and nothing would change, his touch would not linger, his eyes would not follow me everywhere.

He'd accept that I see him only as a friend. But as I look up at him, his words ring in my ear. Because if not, then what is the point of all this?

I don't think, I don't analyze. I don't try to protect myself as I close my eyes, leaning just slightly forward, raising myself to up onto my toes.

He meets me halfway, and our lips collide with the softest of touches. His hand leaves his side, cupping my face gently in his hand. His lips are softer then I imagined, and ever so warm against mine. I shiver and my hand grips his shirt tightly.

So this is what it feels like. To be kissed because they want you and you want them. So simple, so easy.

Jude breaks away first, a boyish grin on his lovely face.

I blink slowly as if coming out of a daze. He brushes a strand of hair off my face, leaning forward again. This time, I met him halfway. Because if not, then what is the point of all this?

OK let me have it! I know allot of you are gonna hate this chapter because of the little Jude/MAdge action going on but please REVIEW ANYWAY! Gale's POV is next chapter and i already have it all written i just have to type it so i swear it isn't going to be another huge wait! Love you all, kisses to all reviewers!

P.S. I know the one-shots i've promised are not up yet, i'm in the process of writing them i swear! Keep your eye out for them they will be out soon!