A/N: So, here is the edited version of this chapter. It's more of a relationshippy sort of building one between Jaime and Avery. I hope people like it. Let me know.
I open my eyes. A warm body is pressed against mine, his arm thrown over my waist. I glance down and see his stump. I shift, freezing, feeling him poking my lower back. I begin to move starting by getting his arm off of me. As I start to roll away he jerks away from me. "Shit," he says rolling off the bed, and sitting on the floor. I watch him as he leans his head back against the bed.
"I didn't mean to wake you up," I say softly. He gets up and I watch him walk around my bed and into the bathroom. I wait staring up at the ceiling for him to come out. I must have drifted off because when I look at the time a half-an-hour has gone by, and it's still dark out. I get up and move to the door, knocking. "Jaime, are you OK?" he doesn't respond. "Jaime, I know that that was awkward but it's fine really." He still doesn't respond. "Jaime, I know that guys are ya know when they wake up in the morning." I sigh, and lean my forehead against the door. "Jaime what's wrong?"
He opens the door, and I catch myself on the door frame. "This is what's wrong," he says holding up his stump. His eyes look red, and there's anger in his voice.
"Jaime, it's a part of you now. There's nothing you can do about it."
"Don't you think I know that?" he backs up and sits on the toilet lid. "I saw your reaction."
"My reaction?"
"You're repulsed by it, so is Cersei, and everyone else." I stare at him blankly for a moment. "You pushed it away from you."
"Jaime, I was trying to give you space. I also had to pee, which is why I woke up in the first place. And then I felt YOU against me, and started moving. I had to move your arm off of me, so that I could move away," I kneel in front of him. "You're stump doesn't bother me at all," I reach up and pull it away from his body where he had held it protectively against his chest. "It just shows me that you're strong. It takes a lot to lose a limb, and where you come from people aren't always kind or understanding." I run my fingers over the scarred skin. "Even people here lose limbs and they have to learn how to live without it. You can't think of this loss as something that destroys you, that ruins who you are. You just have to think of it as an obstacle. You need to keep fencing, and doing things that you like, and stop worrying about what people think of it."
"It really doesn't bother you?" he asks.
"No, it doesn't. Around here people are more accepting of things like this, and that's how I was raised. You wouldn't be looked down on, you would be looked up to for your strength, that you are living with less than the average human."
"People lose their arms to a fucking Goat in the middle of the damn woods here?"
"Well, no. But they lose limbs in war, and accidents. Vargo would have been imprisoned for what he did to you, and he would never have been allowed to treat you in such a way. Even in a state of war as you were in there are certain laws that everyone must follow. He would have been put on trial for a war crime. People aren't forgiven for war crimes. Neither for rape."
He looks at me confused, "I never-."
"But you saved Brienne. And you paid for it, with something dear to you. Why?" he looks away.
He looks uncomfortable now, "I didn't think she deserved it. I don't think anyone deserves it."
"Would you have said anything if you knew the price?"
He opens his mouth and then closes it again, "I- I don't know."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you more uncomfortable."
"I guess in a way I deserved it. I broke oaths with this hand, now it's gone."
"Have you talked about all of that? Everything with Aerys, and all that you've seen, and done."
He shifts uncomfortable again, "No. I-, who wants to hear all of that?"
"Cersei, she loves you? She should be there for you."
He snorts, "it's weakness in her eyes. I'm tired," he says standing pulling his stump out of my hand and going back to my room. I stand and follow him.
"You know you can talk to me," I say sitting next to him.
"Why?"
"I think it's nice to be able to talk to people about things like that. It helps to clear your head and get things off your chest."
"What about sleeping with family members?"
"Um, what?"
"What do you Americans think of sleeping with family members?"
"Jaime that's illegal. Back in Westeros you know you, her and your children would be hanged if it was common knowledge."
"Everyone I know seems to know about that. What do you think about it?"
I sigh pulling the blankets up to my chin, "well you love her. I think. She is just using you for sex. As disturbing as I think it is that you like to fuck your sister, I think it's sweet that you care for her so much. At least your faithful. Here in America, depending on where you live both of you would have been locked up and the children would have been put in a home."
"A home?"
"A place for orphans."
"You said you were in one," his hand finds mine and my stomach flutters.
"Yea, yea I did."
"What was it like?"
"I'd rather not talk about it. Besides the children would probably have been handed off to a family member like your Father or an Uncle or Aunt."
"Hell of a good that would have done."
"Because Cersei has done such a good job?"
"She loves those children. Joffrey is, was, a little fucking bastard. He deserved what he got. He never should have been King. The other children, Tommen Myrcella-."
"Are fine," I reach up and run my fingers through his hair. "They came out better than Joffrey did. C'mon we should get some sleep," I hesitate and press a kiss to his forehead. I pull the covers over myself and lay back down.
"You can talk to me two," he says to the darkness.
