'My Trip to America is not as Expected'
Chapter 9: Happy Birthday!
I hate crowds. A lot of times, they are a result of the stupid innate psychological trends of some (Scratch that, pretty much all) people that cause them to slow down, and cause a massive domino effect over the entire population behind them. If they'd just resist their primitive urges and carried on, everything would just go a lot faster. Or maybe some of the people are just slow in general.
'Whatever it is, fuck them.'
Alternatively, a crowd can be caused by incompetence by the people who are servicing a crowd, either because they don't know how to do their own jobs, or they're just too slow in doing it.
'Whatever it is, fuck them.'
Yet another reason for a human wasteland is that too many people are rushing to get through too small of a space, making it physically impossible for things to go fast. The fault for this lies either with the people for crowding a space all at one time, instead of staggering their schedules a bit to avoid the aforementioned human traffic, or it is the fault of urban engineers and architects, for failing to design a structure that accommodates the entering mass of people.
'Whatever it is, fuck them.'
As luck would have it, I was situated in the intersection of all three of these terrible human situations. The crowd to end all crowds. The boiling point of my hatred for humanity.
Yes, I was stuck in security at Haneda Airport.
The line there moved at the speed of molasses. Yukino and I were stuck in the sweaty cesspool of rushing salarymen, crying toddlers, and people who are unfamiliar with the concept of hygiene.
At least, I had thought that we were braving this storm together. But as I took my attention away from the scourge of humanity, I realized that I actually hadn't seen Yukino since I had entered security.
'Oh Shit... I lost Yukino at security? I will not hear the end of it when I find her. I'm pretty sure I just failed some kind of boyfriend obligation...'
I had to make a decision. Do I try to wade through the crowd of people, subjecting myself to the scorn they will surely throw at me for 'cutting', to find Yukino? Or do I go through the line and wait for her after?
'Yukino has most definitely been through security plenty of times with all of her past trips abroad. She's not helpless. I'm sure she can make it through.'
Thus, I decided to brave the security line alone, and hoped that Yukino had the good sense to do the same.
Although this seemed like the easier of the two options, trust me, it was no pleasure cruise. Without Yukino to chide me for my grumbling, in the process snapping me out of it so I could focus my energy on great comebacks, I instead only had the dregs of humanity to focus on.
It took all the control and patience I had grown throughout my school days to not curse out neither the security people nor the incompetent people in front of me.
After what seemed like an eternity, the torture test probably given by some sadist God of my universe was over.
What awaited me after Hell gave me a swell of emotions, ranging from relief to the desire to unleash all of my pent-up rage, as right after the security checkpoint was a bench, currently occupied by Yukino Yukinoshita and her carry-on baggage.
"I was wondering where you were, Hachiman. You look pretty rough."
Yukino cleared off some space on the bench in order to give me a space to sit, an offer I gladly accepted.
"I have been through a lot in my life that really drew out my penchant for silent rage. But this airport security, and the crowd that came with it, almost made me go berserk. Do you remember Sagami from the Cultural Festival before this past one?"
"Of course I do. That was the worst managed Cultural Festival in Sobu High history."
"Her incompetence was nothing in comparison to these security people. I was so ready to tell them off. It would have been so much worse than when i roasted Sagami. Fortunately, since then, I have developed a bit more patience, and I think I maintained my composure pretty well."
"Hachiman, your forehead vain has been popping out since the moment you got out of security, and likely a while before then, before I saw you. That doesn't really qualify as 'maintaining your composure'."
"For something as emblematic for my overall hatred of society, the fact that I didn't straight up leave and go back home to eat instant ramen and curl up in my bed means that I maintained my composure. By the way, where were you during all of this, and how are you not as outraged by this as I was?"
"There are many ways to answer that question, Hachiman, such as me having a greater ability to withhold my anger towards incompetence, which, by the way, is how I've been able to be around you for so long, and the fact that I don't have such a short fuse, which, evidently, you have. However, these answers don't reveal the greater truth, the true reason for why I am not seething with rage at airport security. Unfortunately, I feel as though this reasoning, for the best, should not be disclosed to you for the simple reason that the explanation would likely unleash your pent-up aggression dating back to middle school."
"What a fantastic nonanswer. I think you have a real future ahead of you in the Diet. But I want to know the answer. I'm sure the reason will be something I can get over."
Yukino gave a sigh.
"Hachiman, how closely did you look at our tickets?"
"Well, enough so that I know what time we're leaving, and what gate we leave from."
"And it never occurred to you to look at what section of the plane we were seated at?"
"I just assumed somewhere in Economy. I think with her credit issues, that's really the limit of what Hiratsuka-sensei can swing."
"You might want to take a look at that."
"If you say so."
I whipped out the ticket from my backpack, and took a look at the seating area.
'Wait... This can't be right...'
"Yukino, the ticket says 'First Class'. Have the airlines finally realized that changing the name of 'Economy' to 'First Class' will fool the masses?"
"Thankfully, no. We actually have First Class seats both ways. If you'll remember, Hiratsuka-sensei didn't buy the tickets herself. She stole them from that guy she dated for a little bit."
"Yukino, you must realize that the last part of that sentence basically describes the entirety of Hiratsuka-sensei's love life, right?"
"That's beside the point. With First Class seats, you get to go in to a faster, less crowded security line with competent guards. I chose to pursue that option. I'm surprised you didn't notice me slip into the other line."
'...'
"So... You're telling me because I didn't realize we had First Class seats, I had to endure the worst half hour of my life with the pits of humanity in Haneda's general security line?"
"Pretty much, yeah, that's what happened."
The silence was deafening.
Yukino spoke up to break the silence after about 2 minutes.
"We should probably head over to the gate now."
"Yeah, probably a good idea."
After about 15 minutes of waiting at the gate, we were called as First Class passengers to board the plane.
Now, I may not seem like the type of person who is blown away by luxury. That assessment typically holds true throughout my everyday life.
However, I couldn't help but be impressed by the seats we were given as First Class passengers. To walk to the First Class seating area, you had to first walk through the Economy section of the plane, and from what I saw, the lack of legroom provided would probably end my career of bicycling to and from school. The seats had virtually no width on them, so my shoulders likely would have been obliterated as well.
But after passing through the pity pile, the reward became so much sweeter, for I saw just how luxurious First Class truly was in comparison.
With reclining leather seats, plenty of width on the shoulders to not be on top of the person next to you, and practically infinite legroom, I realized then that i had a free ticket to paradise.
"Hachiman, I don't think I've ever seen you so blown away, even when you look at me. I must confess, it's kind of making me jealous."
Yukino's complaint brought me down from Cloud 9 for a little while, as we took our seats.
"I'm sorry, I just never had the chance to lord over the poor in luxury. I think I'm beginning to understand the upper class a bit more."
"Eh, it's alright. This is only the seating of the semi-rich. The truly rich ones would have their own private jets. How you look at economy is probably how they look at these First Class seats. Source: Me."
I gave a sigh.
"I guess I'll never truly understand the- wait a second..."
"What is it?"
"Did you just use my catchphrase?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm pretty sure you just said 'Source: Me', a phrase I practically trademarked my first year of high school."
"Hachiman, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. Your ravings typically amuse me, but this time, I really think you've gone overboard."
Suddenly, the loudspeaker on the plane rang out from above us.
"We would like to welcome you all aboard this NNA flight from Haneda International Airport to Boston-Logan International Airport! Over the next 13 hours, we hope to treat you with the finest in Japanese service! We hope you will enjoy the flight!"
"13 hours, eh?"
I looked around the plane's temporary residents before I continued.
"It doesn't really look like a lot of these people would be the kind to endure 13 hours of anything, much less a plane ride that long."
"Well, it's all about what you bring with you to keep you entertained."
With that, Yukino whipped out a notebook, opened to a page, and added to a list that was already there/
"What's that?"
"I never really took you as being this curious, Hachiman. I more assumed you kept to yourself, based on everything, from your social standing to your overall demeanor."
"Let's just call it me opening myself up a little more to the world."
"You honestly can't expect me to believe that, do you?"
"Take it as you will."
"Well, would you believe me if I told you that I'm currently adding names to my hit list, and you're making yourself a prime contender for addition?"
The concept of a hit list reminded me of a similar monthly list I made of people who I wished to murder.
'In fact, I'm pretty sure Yukino was the number 1 slot on quite a few of those lists. Heh... I think I called her 'Demon Superwoman' and 'Blizzard Ice Queen' in there a couple of times...'
'Wait... I should probably destroy that before Yukino ever has a chance to scour my room. Must do!'
I gave a shudder at that last thought.
"Hachiman?"
"Yukino, for both of our sakes, let's hope that's not what that is."
"You're so boring."
"You sound just like Haruno."
That shut her up.
'Yes! I've been cooking that one up for months!'
"But really, what is it?"
A sigh from Yukino, then a response.
"If you must know, I'm making my birthday list. It's coming up in January."
"On the third, right?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Isn't it a bit early to start working on that? After all, it's only the 26th of November."
"It's better to get a head start on these types of things, I've learned."
"So, what are you asking for?"
"A more reliable boyfriend is the number one object on the list this year."
"Ha ha, very funny. Seriously, what are you asking for?"
"If you must know, here, take a look at my list."
Yukino proceeded to hand over the notebook, and I read over her list.
"Yukino..."
"What?"
"You can't just ask for volumes of the 'Pan-san' series on Blu-Ray."
"And why not? Pan-san is easily the most dependable way to raise my spirits in my times of darkness. Not only is he dependable for me, but he is dependable for everyone else he encounters. He is what I aspire to be."
"Why don't you just buy it yourself, then? Pan-san Blu-Rays can't be too expensive for a person with such a good fiscal standing, such as yourself."
"I would, but the only place you can find them is in otaku shops in Tokyo. And I would never, ever step foot into those cesspools. They are filled with lowly, misogynistic perverts. I think it'd be a location perfect for someone like you. In fact, you should be rejoicing at the splendid opportunity I have afforded you, as you now have a valid excuse to go back to your natural habitat."
"No way in hell. I'll go through airport security a thousand times before I ever step foot into any of those otaku hellholes."
"Suit yourself, but you'll have to explain why you are empty-handed when my birthday comes around."
"Spoiled princess..." I muttered, under my breath.
The plane had been moving at a very slow speed, as we departed from the gate. But after our banter, the plane, which was now at the tarmac, accelerated at a frantic pace.
I looked over to Yukino, who looked kind of anxious.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. It's just when it lifts that I just get kind of..."
Yukino had begun fiddling around her fingers. Right then, I felt the lift that Yukino had been afraid of.
'Not too bad...'
But Yukino was a bit of a mess at this point, fiddling around with the armrest, and was tapping her feet at a violent rate.
'I think this is the first time I have really pitied Yukino.'
I decided to hold her hand.
A/N: I'm glad I was able to write and put out this chapter today, of all days. What's the significance of this day? Well, it was mentioned in the text, but today is the canon birthday of our main female protagonist, Yukino Yukinoshita! This is my lengthiest chapter yet, and I think this is the most Yukino-centric chapter to date, so that makes me pretty happy. Also, we're finally out of Japan, and on the plane out! America is coming into view!
Thank you for reading, and all the other wonderful things you do.
