A/N: Hello, hello. It's me again. I wrote from Kumiko's POV last time, so I decided to do Reina's here. This is totally wishful thinking, changing all of Reina's heterosexual-ness into super gay things.
Reina always seemed so straight-laced to me and she doesn't really have any friends aside from Kumiko. Sooooo let's say that all her insecurities stem from the fear of losing her best friend. Yeah. Let's go with that.
Main themes: Jealousy, kiss, restraint
Reina chewed on her lip as she walked aimlessly through the music room. It was empty, austere, and so Spartan after they cleaned it out for the party. She exited the room after a few minutes, feeling uncomfortable with the emptiness. She wasn't sure what she was even doing here.
Today was the third years' graduation ceremony.
The atmosphere in the school was strange because of all the bitter goodbyes, a sombre feeling that permeated through every classroom.
Getting overwhelmed by the mood, Reina felt oddly melancholic, sending her deep into contemplation. She was sad these days, her playing inconsistent. She didn't know when it started, but gradually, she found herself losing her focus, losing her objective. She wasn't the headstrong musician she used to be. It was ironic, but the better her playing got, the more uncertain her end goal became.
For as long as she remembered, it had always been Taki-sensei she worked so hard for. However, recently, things had changed. He wasn't the one she wanted to impress anymore.
It was Kumiko.
Reina bit down hard on her lip, a surge of emotion taking her breath away.
Suddenly, she tasted copper on her tongue. She brought a finger to her bottom lip, feeling a sticky substance coat her skin.
She saw red.
Reina licked her lips, enjoying the stinging sensation. It was a pleasant distraction. She needed to get away from Kumiko, to have her mind stop its pointless meandering.
But still, the girl couldn't help herself. She was in a nostalgic mood, her memories breaking through the flood gates as thoughts, emotions, and regrets filled her. Reina knew that she had been interested in Kumiko long before the Agata festival. From there, it all progressed so quickly, without her even considering the fact that it could be anything similar to what she felt for Taki-sensei. But now, Reina knew fully what her body and her heart were telling her all these months. She was in love with her best friend and it was foreign territory, a frightening fascination that swallowed her like a gaping abyss. It was different from the innocent admiration that she held for their teacher.
No.
This love was a parasite that latched its claws onto Reina, corrupting her whole. There were no words to describe how hard she tried to resist her feelings and her unnatural desires. No matter how she tried to change her mindset, she was obsessed, obsessed with wanting to ruin the one relationship she held dear. Kumiko was her everything and she couldn't risk sacrificing that to satiate the hunger she felt for the girl.
It was a struggle to keep from breaching the fragile boundaries she set up between her and Kumiko. They were only there as a formality, an expectation dictated by social norms. They were supposed to be close friends and nothing more. Despite this, the lines blurred far too often, muddling the intentions underlying their relationship. There was no shortage of intimate moments between them, but Reina had squandered them all. It surprised even herself how strong her willpower was, but it was fear that fueled her restraint whenever she felt herself slipping.
They had always been too close.
There were countless times where Reina wanted to grab the other girl and kiss her senseless.
Kumiko was a relentless tease, but it was only because of Reina's aggressive advances.
Faint touches, heated whispers, desperate embraces…
Their lips had grazed once or twice, a trembling closeness that Reina denied reluctantly. She was always the first one to pull away, dismissing the sexual tension between them. It was a difficult and constant torture and she could only withstand so much. She felt like she was going to break, the daily façade growing tiresome to keep up.
That's why she needed to hold onto something familiar, something stable and safe. For Reina, that was Taki-sensei. Her long-time mentor had been the sole constant in her life for so many years and throwing all her effort into the infatuation made Reina feel…normal. Taki-sensei became a distraction she turned to when she found herself having those sinful thoughts about Kumiko.
She was still broken, but at least, she held the pieces together.
However, the trumpeter's strategy wasn't failsafe. These days, it had gotten more difficult to maintain her composure, to stop from looking at Kumiko with those predatory eyes of hers. That was why…that was why things spiraled when Kumiko started spending more time with Asuka.
Reina knew that Kumiko cared for Asuka, that Kumiko held onto Asuka even tighter after the turmoil with her sister. Reina wasn't stupid. She knew more about Kumiko's life than she let on. She always had her eye on the brunette, observing and watching. As the months rolled by, Reina liked less and less of what she saw, wishing she could be less attentive.
First.
She had watched Kumiko from afar when she begged Asuka to return to the band, her face streaked with tears after her outburst. It bothered Reina to know that she wasn't the only one who elicited such strong emotions from the usually distant Kumiko.
This jealousy drove Reina to project her anger and frustration onto the euphonium player. She blamed Kumiko for keeping secrets, for not telling her about Taki-sensei. It was more about the loss for Reina. It was especially hard to take, knowing that Taki-sensei could never be her safe choice anymore and to know that Kumiko was treating her like everyone else.
If their bond was as special as she thought it was, they would have no secrets between them. Or that was what Reina had hoped.
Then.
She had seen Kumiko's hairpin, the one she received from Tsukamoto Shuuichi. It was an innocent gesture, but Reina noticed it on her music stand, next to a picture of her and Kumiko. Reina felt jealous, but he wasn't a threat. The trumpeter knew Kumiko well enough to understand that the trombonist was never in her sights.
And finally…
At nationals, Reina felt farther than ever from Kumiko. She was grasping at straws, desperate to be close to the brunette again. Reina didn't care if she crossed those lines she was so cautious of before. She just wanted Kumiko back, but the girl had her own worries filling her mind, thoughts of her sister and Asuka consuming her every waking moment. There was no room for Reina.
Not anymore.
That was why Reina decided she'd had enough. She needed to vent, to scream and let out her frustrations.
She loved Taki-sensei, but she didn't love him. It wasn't the same. Her confession was laden with a desperation, a last ditch effort to catch Kumiko's attention. Unfortunately, Reina realized too late that it only alienated the euphonium player even more. That night, she didn't even have a chance to explain herself, since Kumiko had run off to look for her sister.
After nationals, things had changed, drastically so.
It was then that Reina realized she was losing Kumiko. They still talked every day, spending their winter break together, going to morning practices together. But it was different from before. It was superficial, their closeness tainted. Kumiko would jerk away at her touch and laugh awkwardly when Reina put on her usual flirtatious charm.
There was a stiffness between them.
It was only something the two of them noticed; a subtle avoidance of the eyes, a careful consideration when they were beside each other. It was a glass wall that only thickened as time passed. Layers and layers were piled on, putting more and more distance between them. Reina tolerated it, adjusting her responses to match Kumiko's, to try and coax the girl to take down the wall.
Just when Reina thought she was making progress, graduation rolled around and a tearful good-bye was held for the third years. The stoic trumpeter didn't show it, but she was going to miss them, especially Kaori-senpai. Reina had been more social than people would have expected and she respected her upperclassmen. However, there was one third year that Reina could never get along with.
It was Asuka. The euphonium player was talented and smart, but Reina didn't like her.
In fact, she could say she hated her. It was irrational, but Reina grew to dislike Asuka because of how much Kumiko fixated on the older girl. It had been months since all the drama but Kumiko always had this melancholic look on her face when she thought about Asuka.
It drove Reina mad to know that Kumiko couldn't stop thinking about the other girl.
Filled with unbridled jealousy, Reina felt broken.
This wasn't her.
Sighing, Reina took a break from her introspective blabbering. She wandered the main floor of the old school building. She thought about getting in a few hours of practice, but they were going to have sectionals at noon. Suddenly, Reina found her attention stolen away by something outside. She was at the main entrance now, the outside deserted except for...
It was snowing.
However, that wasn't what she was looking at. Reina motioned to exit the building, feeling a chill wrack her bones as she pushed the door open ever so slightly. She looked over at the figure that was so familiar to her, a faint smile gracing her lips as she motioned to call out to the brunette.
She stopped suddenly, her eyes widening. Reina gripped the door handle as her face turned a deathly white. She felt lightheaded, dizzy, and nauseous. Her whole world was spinning as the shock ripped through her like a screwdriver to the chest.
Asuka was kissing Kumiko and…
Kumiko was kissing her back.
It was painful to watch, but Reina couldn't tear her eyes away.
And it was then…It was then that Reina knew she was truly broken, realizing that what they had could never be fixed.
