hey guys! Lady A here, and I'm back with another one-shot!

now, y'all have been busting my ass about this one, so go ahead and take it. That's right! This is the Jandy one-shot you've all been waiting for. I've worked about two hours on it (which is actually pretty short for my normal one-shots, but this is one of the best ones yet!)

now have some review replies:

Beansy: I honestly know quite a bit of people that have suffered through depression, and they all seem a lot better as well it awesome to see them recovering

Sesame Seed: oh donz worry, that'll be continued in a few more one-shots (tbh probably next one, lel)

Nell: oh, you get your wish here, but not as you expected, MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now, this one shot shall possibly be one of the more sad oneshots (that I seem to be filled with lately, but idc, tbh) now, since all of y'all have been busting my ass about it, here's the Jandy we've been waiting for!

Now, this contains a certain AU presented in the first one-shot posted MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh, and by the way, everyone go to Nell's profile, and spam her on PMs and reviews because it's HER BIRTHDAYS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOHPAI!

but srsly go spam her, she's been an awesome friend on this site with me, and she's so amazing, like omg

enjoy if you can


The song in this one-shot is Lay Me Down, by Sam Smith, I am not Sam Smith, therefore I do not own the rights to this song, so don't go 'round saying I'm Sam Smith, 'coz I'm not


This one-shot is dedicated to those who suffer from a dead loved one, and to Nell, who's birthday is today! (The day I post this)


~Yes I do, I believe~
~That one day I will be, where I was~
~Right there, right next to you~
~And it's hard, the days just seem so dark~

As he stood there, looking at the casket from afar, he sighed, holding back tears. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, everything just seemed to be a blank haze. He couldn't look at her, not like this. He took a deep breath, and started to walk to the casket, going to take one last look at her lifeless body.

~The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you~
~Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?~
~No words can explain, the way I'm missing you~
~The night, this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside~
~These tears, they tell their own story~

Upon reaching the alter, he could do nothing but stare at what once used to be a happy, beautiful girl. Looking at her now, he bit his lip so he wouldn't cry. Grabbing her cold, hard hand, he couldn't help but remember how warm, and soft she normally was. Combing his hand through her now coarse and thin hair, he remembered when he brushed his hand once through it, and how soft and thick it was.

Her lips, now a pale pink, once were a brighter pink, thanks to her overuse of Chapstick, and was smiling, as if she were in a better place. Her cheeks, once covered with tons of freckles, we're now covered with makeup and hid all of her natural beauty. Her eyes were closed, hiding those beautiful hazel eyes he fell in love with.

~You told me not to cry when you were gone~
~But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong~
~Can I lay by your side, next to you, you~

He remembered her laugh, how she'd laugh at the stupidest things, like puns or pickup lines. He remembered the late recording they used to have, were she cursed nearly every bad word under the sun. He wanted to hear her once last time, to be able to have that one last conversation, to be able to tell her how much she meant to him, but he couldn't.

He walked away from the casket, doing everything in his willpower to not break down. His mind distracted him with memories. When they had first met, her golden brown hair long, nearly in ringlets.

He wanted to do something to bring her back, to let him hold her one last time, to do something with her.

But he couldn't.

~And make sure you're alright~
~I'll take care of you~
~And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight~

He sat down in a chair, tears threatening to spill at any minute. He looked around, seeing her little sister bawling, blubbering on how it was her fault her sister was gone. He looked down, staring at his shoes.

He remembered the late night conversations. She said she was positive she was going to Hell, while he just denied her, saying she was going to Heaven.

She'd always reply with, "If my own family won't take me back, what makes you think Heaven will?"

He'd always smile, saying, "Trust me, they don't have any reason why not to."

Now, there wouldn't be any late night conversations. No more talks about the future, no more talks about the past or present.

Just talks with a grave, a moon, and no responses.

~I'm reaching out to you~
~Can you hear my call? (Who's to say you won't hear me?)~
~This hurt that I've been through~
~I'm missing you, missing you like crazy~

He remembered when she would call him late at night, sobbing. He'd go to her house, and calm her down.

All he wanted was to hear her voice one more time, to hear her songs, her laugh. To feel her soft skin against his. To see her smile, to do anything! But all she did was lie in that casket.

As rain pounded against the windows of the church, he took a shaky breath, and put his head in his hands.

He would do anything to see her again. But he had been told to move on, to not dwell on the past, but to look forward to the future.

How could he do that when all of his mind was in either the past or present?

~You told me not to cry when you were gone~
~But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong~
~Can I lay by your side, next to you, you~

At times, he had wished it was him lying in that casket, and not her. She had stuff to live for, to look forward to. But now, all she had to look forward to was going deep beneath the Earth, and slowly decaying away, being eaten by bugs and bacteria.

His mind showed the last memory he had of her at the hospital, how when he woke up, Annika was screaming at the doctor and nurses to try to get her sister back. They had done everything in their power, but couldn't bring her back. Having died while everyone was asleep, no one was up to call a nurse or doctor to try to bring her back.

Her best friend started to sob, breaking down. Her boyfriend put his head in his hands and broke down quietly. Her sister collapsed to the floor, tears flowing down her cheeks and into the ground.

He, on the other hand, had stared at her face, seeing it pale, and mouth set in a small smile. He walked out of the hospital and into his car, and started to curse, knowing that she had planned to die while everyone was asleep.

~And make sure you're alright~
~I'll take care of you~
~And I don't wanna be here if I can't be with you tonight~

He wantedto know where she was right now, enjoying Heaven? Suffering in Hell? Or just floating around her own funeral as a ghost, watching everyone's reactio to her death?

He wanted someone to hold him now, to tell him that everything will be alright, and everything will go back to normal. That this was all a dream, and when he woke up, she would be alive, raring to record a hunger games.

He pinched his arm, as if to test if it were a dream. When he got a sense of numbness in his arm, he stopped, and started to rub his numb arm, trying to regain some feeling.

He just wanted everything to get back to normal, her alive and well, no one depressed or sad. He wanted to at least hold her one last time, and say his final goodbye.

But he couldn't.

~Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side~
~Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side~
~Can I lay by your side, next to you, you~

No matter what he did, there was nothing he could do to turn back time and change it.

He was left to suffer, while she was gone.

All he wanted was to say a final goodbye, but couldn't.

Because he was alive.

And she was gone.


lel, I'm pretty good at writing angst, eh?

p.s. Remember, I'm taking any prompts/song fic ideas